She's The One
by sospecial21
Summary: Bella has been in love with Edward Cullen from the moment they met as kids. Finally she gets her chance to be with him, but is it everything she fantisized about or more? ALL HUMAN
1. Chapter 1

I do not own twilight or the characters. I only one my interruption of the story. This is my first attempt at this so please be kind to me. I love reading fanfiction so much and wanted to give it ago.

**CHAPTER ONE**

"EDWARD!EDWARD!" I couldn't stop screaming and the tears wouldn't stop falling down my face.

It was raining so hard and he was laying in my arms not moving, not breathing. _What had I done?_

(10 years earlier 2000)

Finally graduation was over. Charlie, my dad, had gone on and on at dinner about how proud he was of me. I could even swear I saw his eyes glazing over a couple times.

When we arrived home it was around 7pm, which meant I needed to get changed for Alice's graduation party. Of course if it was up to me I would be wearing my flannel button down with my comfy jeans and converse, but Alice, of course, had other ideas.

Alice Cullen, the best-est friend a girl could have. She is short, petite, and spunky. Her hair style of choice changed weekly. But most of the time she kept her hair short and cropped above her shoulders. The girl has more energy than the energizer bunny. She is one of the most kind and giving people I know.

I looked at the box that she had left on my bed claiming it was my graduation present from her parents, but I knew better. I opened the lid and pulled out a blue fitted button down top and a pair of gray skinny jeans. It was not my normal choice of attire, but I put it on anyway.

I didn't really need to do much with my hair because it was already semi curled from graduation earlier. It was now 8:05pm and I could hear my phone vibrating on the bed side table.

"Hi Alice"

"Bella are you on your way?"

I took a deep sigh. "Yes Alice I'm leaving right now."

"Good and you better have that outfit on."

"Goodbye Alice." Then I hung up and proceeded down the steps.

Esme and Carlisle let Alice throw the party at their house while they left for the weekend to a relatives house.I kissed Charlie and he told me to have fun. Has I drove up the Cullen's driveway in my truck I looked for a spot to park. There were random cars lining the street and driveway of the Cullen's home. I parked next to Tyler Crowley's van and made my way up the walk way.

I scanned the cars looking for that certain one I hoped would be parked near the garage. But my eyes failed to find that silver Volvo and I could feel the disappointment settle in my stomach. I did my best not to trip down the hundred steps that led to the Cullen's front door.

When I made it to the front door Alice was standing there waiting for me. "Oh Bella you look so beautiful. I knew that blue would look great with your complexion." Alice squealed at me wrapping her arms around me for a hug.

"You look amazing too Alice." I hugged her back. I felt very ordinary compared to her. She had flawless model looks while I was just an average girl.

I took in Alice's outfit and she looked flawless, has usual. She had on an orange smock dress with silver beading on the wide neckline that was sleeveless and complimented her pale skin tone. Her shoe of choice were silver heels with beading like the dress over the toes.

After we hugged Alice took me by the hand to show me all the decorations she had put up. The Cullen house was massive in size. She had decorated with beads and streamers and disco lights. It looked like the inside of a club. There was DJ on one end of the living room and a table full of food on the other.

"I need to check on some things, will you be okay by yourself for a while?" Alice asked concerned.

"I'm good, go do what you gotta do." I smiled sweetly at her.

Alice bounced away into the kitchen.

I scanned the faces of the people around me, hoping to locate the one person I had been dying to see all day. I searched the crowd for cooper hair. My eyes fell upon the corner and there he stood in all his 6 feet of perfection surrounded by a group of girls. Why was I not surprised. My eyes just watched him in the corner. He was smiling that breathtaking crooked smile and every once in a while ran his hand through his messy hair. His bright green eyes blazed under the bright disco lights.

I caught his gaze every so often, but I would look away afraid I was probably ogling him too much. But he was a sight. No wonder girls flocked to him. _Edward Cullen I'm so in love with you. I_ kept thinking to myself. But he never noticed me.

Countless numbers of times I spent in the Cullen house with Alice. He was always polite. He would greet me hello and the way he said my name, I felt my stomach flip flop. He never tried to engage in conversation past the polite greeting you give to someone in your home who is a guest. So many times I wanted to talk to him, know him, but Alice never seemed like she wanted me to. He had a reputation of being a player, I just figured he hadn't met the right girl. _He hadn't met me_.

Alice and Edward were only a year apart. Edward being older. Alice admired her big brother who was in college in Seattle studying pre-med first year. He wanted to be a doctor like his father Carlisle.

It was almost 11:30pm . I tried to keep up in conversation with various people, but it was becoming pointless. The only person's attention I wanted was being occupied by all the girls at this party and I just about had it. Three times someone spilled a drink on me, almost knocked me into the DJ, or stepped on my feet .When I finally decided I had enough I was stopped by a baby faced blue eyed blond Mike Newton.

Mike was as clueless as they come. He had a crush on me for as long as I can remember. He made numerous attempts to get me to go out with him, each one a fail. He couldn't take a hint. He looked like he had one too many drinks and from the smell of him, you knew he did.

"Bellllllllllaaaaaaaaaaa. GOD YOU LOOK HOT TONIGHT!" He slurred loudly at me.

"Mike you look really drunk." I said stating the obvious.

"IM NOT A DONKEY". He slurred even louder gaining glances..

"Mike, nobody said you were a donkey, I said, never mind. What do you want?" I was becoming annoyed

'WHY WON'T YOU LET ME TAKE YOU OUT? I THINK YOU ARE SO BEAUUUTIFULLLL AND I'D LOVE TO BANG YOU, JUST ONCE."

I just looked at him with disgust. I was so glad I never had to see him again.

"There is no way in hell you would ever "BANG" me. Now if you will excuse me, I would like to leave." I could feel people staring in our direction and it was making me uncomfortable.

I tried my best to walk past him, but he grabbed me by the arm rather roughly. I turned and glared at his hand then his face.

"Newton let me go. Take the hint and move on. I don't want you. How can I spell it out?" I spat at him. I tried to pull my arm out his grip, but he refused to let go.

'C'MON ON BABY DON'T BE LIKE THAT" His breath smelling like alcohol as he tried to pull me closer into him.

Now I was just pissed. "I said LET ME GO!" But he kept his grip strong on me.

"I think she said let her go and if you have any wits about you Newton, you better do it or you won't be having much use of it.." The male voice was trying to place terror in Mike and it must have worked cause instantly he dropped his hand from my arm. _Edward._

Alice comes running over to me while I notice Edward and another guy dragging Mike Newton out the door. Alice begins to inspect my arm where Mike was holding onto me.

"Bella oh my goodness, are you okay? What was that about?" Alice had worry all over her pretty little face.

"You know, Mike is just a jerk and drunk." I smiled weakly at her. "I think I should go now."

Come on to my room and sit down for a couple minutes please? I think this party is officially over." Alice walked me up the stairs to her room.

I went and sat on her bed while she went back downstairs to usher people out of the house. A few minutes went by and I hadn't even realized someone had walked into the room because I had my back facing the door. Suddenly their was a pair of hands on my shoulder and I jumped thinking somehow Newton came back in and wanted to try something.

I jumped at the touch, but when I turned I was not greeted with blue eyes, but beautiful bright green ones. I grabbed at my chest like I was scared to death and his face was filled with a guilty expression.

"I'm so sorry that I scared you, I just wanted to see if you were alright." His voice laced with concern.

I just stared at him. No words were coming to my lips. All I could see was his beautiful perfect face looking down at me. I'm not sure how that looked to him, but I notice a smile playing on his lips.

"I-I'm good." I finally got the words out of my mouth.

"Newton is a bit of an ass. I really didn't think he had it in him though to hit on you like that. He's lucky all I did was kick him on his ass." He smiled crookedly at me taking my breath away.

I just continued to stare at him, but he didn't really seem to mind cause he never let his gaze fall. He had me in a trance and I didn't know how to break it. But of course fate had other plans for me and her name is Alice.

"Hey Edward, what are you doing in my room?" Alice asked him in a cute little annoyed voice.

"I was just checking on Bella." And with that he was turning to walk out the door, but I had waited for this moment for the last 6 years and I wasn't about to let him walkaway.

"Edward" I said in a desperate attempt to just have at least 10 more seconds of his presence.

He turned around and hmmed me. "Umm thank you." Its all that would come out. He gave me a wide smile and shook his head and walked out the door.

Once he was gone Alice looked me over."Are you okay? You don't have to leave, you can stay the night." She was pleading with me, but I just wanted the comfort of my own bed.

"Alice I am fine, I better go before Charlie worries." With that I stood off the bed and hugged my friend goodnight making my way down the stairs.

Since everyone had left the Cullen's driveway looked deserted except for mt beat up red truck.. I pulled the keys out of my pocket and unlocked the door to the truck. Placing the key in the ignition it made a terrible grinding noise. It refused to turn over the engine and now I was banging the steering wheel in frustration. This night couldn't get worse.

After the 6th try of getting it to start I decided to head back into the house to see if Alice could drop me off, but I didn't even make it that fair when Edward came walking out with his keys in his hand looking down with a guilty smile.

"Is everything okay?" He looked at me and I was taken back. He was so handsome.

"My stupid truck won't start. I was coming to see if Alice would drop me off at home." I looked down feeling embarrassed.

"I can take you home, if you want. Being I already was on my way out. It wouldn't be a big deal." He smirked at me.

I hesitated for a moment. _Did Edward Cullen just offer to drive me home? That would mean being alone in a car with him? Just us?_

Before I even realized what I did, he was laughing at me. Then it dawned on me, I didn't just think that statement, I actually said it out loud.

I could feel my face turning bright red. I wanted to crawl under a rock and die.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say it out loud, I just I'm going to shut up now." I blurted out looking at the ground.

His laughter seized up after a few minutes and he began to speak. "Do I make you uncomfortable Bella?"

He had no idea how uncomfortable I felt around him, but it wasn't a bad thing at all.

"Umm, it's just that, well you are who you are and I am who I am." I stuttered out gesturing between us.

"Exactly what is that? Because from my perspective, you are beautiful young lady who needs a ride home and I am just a gentleman willing to help you out." He winked at me.

First of all, he said I was beautiful. Edward Cullen said I was beautiful!Then he winked at me! My stomach was doing summers alts.

"Okay, well thank you for offering to take me home." My face burned red.

"Not a problem Bella, shall we?" He gestured to his car with his hand and I walked over to the passenger side door and he opened it graciously for me.

I only lived about 15 minutes from there house. I did my best to act normal in that 15 minute ride. We drove in silence and it never occurred to me until we pulled up in front of my house that I never told him my address, but I am guessing he probably knew because of the times he might have dropped Alice off here.

He pulled up in front of my house and I looked over in his direction. His facial expression looked as if he was contemplating something. He took his hand and ran it through his hair quickly before meeting my gaze and stopping my heart.

I dropped my eyes rather quickly and went to open the car door but he grabbed my hand before I had the chance.

"Wait umm one second please, before you get out. There is something I would like to say." He seemed rather nervous, which for Edward was unusual.

Not that I had any idea what usual was for him. I had always watched this perfect boy from a distance, but he always oozed confidence. Always seemed so sure of himself. But right now he was acting like he was unsure.

I removed my hand from the door and looked at the floor. I had no idea what he needed to say to me, we had never had more than a few words expressed between us in all the years I had known him.

He took his finger and lifted up my face so that we were looking at each other. His eyes burned with conflict and something else was hidden behind it, maybe lust?

"I just want to try one thing." His voice and low and velvety.

His face inched closer to mine and he was so close I felt his sweet breath upon my cheek.

"Hold very still". With that his lips brushed across mine gently as if he was testing my reaction.

His lips were so soft and I had dreamed how they would feel and taste. Never did I imagine it would be so much better. His lips were soft and they tasted of mint. I pushed my lips further into the kiss, deepening it. I felt the electric current from his lips rush all over my entire body.

He was more than welcoming of my actions and his hands wrapped around my face kissing me harder. It seemed like we had been kissing like that for hours, but it was merely minutes before he broke away from me breathing and panting heavily.

"You don't know how long I have wanted to do that. Not even in my wildest dreams did I ever think it would feel that good." He was looking up at the ceiling panting hard.

"I know how long I have waited for you, to kiss me. Since the first time I saw you." My voice was so low I wasn't sure he heard me, but when his head shot up and stared down at me, I knew he definitely did.

Edward looked at me a little surprised by my confession. Without another word his lips came crashing down on mine again and I knew in that moment I wanted more than his lips on mine. I wanted his lips all over my body. I wanted to run my hands all over his perfectly sculptured body.

"OH Bella you are so beautiful, I want you so bad." He muttered between kisses.

"I want you too Edward, please." I was begging for more, pleading for it.

Then I remembered we were in his car and we definitely needed more space if something was going to go down. I don't know what was coming over me. _Sex?_ I was 18 years old and still a virgin, but from what I knew of Edward's reputation, he definitely wasn't. He was about to be 20 in a couple days.

I stopped kissing him and placed my hands to his chest so I could look into his blazing green eyes. Oh they were burning and burning right now for me. "Let me see if Charlie is sleeping and I will sneak you into my room." I breathed out hard and went to open the door, again he grabbed the handle.

"Bella are you sure you want this? I don't want to make you do something you don't want to do, especially after before with Newton." His expression looked conflicted again, but I was sure of what I wanted. It was Edward, it had only been Edward and always will be.

"I've never been more sure." I whispered back to him and with that I was up the stairs to my house. It was well past 1am and I didnt see Charlie in the living room. So I made my way up the stairs to check to see if he was sleeping and snoring erupted from his bedroom. I couldn't believe I was acting like this, about to give my virtue to Edward Cullen. I must be dreaming or drunk. This can't be real, but it was.

I want back outside and Edward was waiting for me on the hood of his car. I told him to come quietly with me into the house. Once we made it to my bedroom I shut my door and locked it. Instantly Edward had his hands wrapped in my hair tugging at it and pulling my face up to his. He kissed me so softly I thought I was going to faint.

"Bella is this your first time?" He looked down at me with concern.

I was trying to catch my breath. "Yes." I breathed out heavy.

He took my face into both his hands and pulled me to his chest. He kissed the top of my head and I could hear him inhaling. 'Mm you smell so sweet, like strawberries." He whispered into my hair.

This was it I thought to myself, its time to do this for real. I had fantasized what it would be like, how he would look. Would I be the person to change his player ways. Would I be the best he ever had? I wanted that so much. I tried not to down play the moment in case he changed his mind. I couldn't live with the rejection.

I looked up at him and leaned up so my lips could meet his. I began to unbutton his shirt while he mirrored my actions, undoing my shirt as well. Once I got all the buttons open I slide my hands on his smooth and toned chest. His body was so perfect. Fine toned abs, like a sculpture. He nudged me toward the bed and once my shirt was completely undone he pushed it off my shoulders revealing my button cotton bra.

He smoothed his hands over the bra and I moaned softly. He reached around my back and undone the clasp so now I was bra chested. His hands greeted my now perk nipples and I shivered in pleasure from his soft touch. His lips met with mine once more and we kissed for a few more minutes.

Finally no clothes blocked our way and Edward was buried deep inside of me. It was the most indescribable feeling ever. He was so big, not that I knew what one looked like, but his definitely not average. He felt incredible and we made love early into the morning light.

Once it was over, Edward put his clothes back on and kissed me lightly on the cheek. "Thank you for tonight Bella, it was the best night of my life by far." With that he smiled brightly at me and made his escape out the front door and his car pulled off.


	2. Chapter 2

**CHAPTER TWO**

It was a beautiful Saturday in Forks. It was three days after my faithful night with Edward. I was still reeling from it. I had never been the kind to make a spectacle of myself, but today was a special day. It was Edward's birthday. I had surprised Alice by calling her and asking her if we could go shopping for a new outfit. I wanted to impress the man I was in love with, hoping that the day would end with us in his bed this time.

I had picked out a simple white cotton sundress with skinny straps. It fit my curves nicely and I felt confident wearing it. I had pulled my hair into a high pony tail. When I felt that I couldn't do much more, I dialed Alice to come pick me up.

My truck had been towed from the Cullen's house the day after the party. The local mechanic was taking a look at it.

When we arrived at the Cullen's house there were more cars parked all over than the other night. I was sure most of them consisted of Alice's family and some of Edward's friends.

I wasn't sure what I was expecting to happen when I would see Edward. Would he run to my side and kiss me passionately in front of everyone? Would he be casual? I wasn't really sure, but I hoped for the best.

Alice and I made our way to the back gate and entered into the back yard. Alice immediately walked us over to her parents and they greeted me sweetly.

"Oh Bella darling you look beautiful in that dress!" Esme beamed at me kissing me cheek and hugging me loosely to her chest.

"Thank you Esme, you are gorgeous as ever." I smiled brightly at her.

Esme was in her middle forties, but looked like she was thirty. Her beautiful red hair flowing down her shoulders and her bright white smile. Then the handsome man standing at her side was a vision all his own. Carlisle was tall like Edward, but blonde with blue eyes. Edward got most of his features from Esme. Alice was a mixture of them both.

"Bella dear, you are a site." Carlisle kissed my cheek smiling gingerly at me.

I made small talk with Esme about my plans for the summer while I scanned the room for the cooper haired god. I located him on the other side of the yard surrounded by a group of people.

I excused myself from Esme and Carlisle and made my way across the yard to where Edward was standing. However the closer I got to where he was the more my eyes were able to see.

There was a beautiful blond girl in a tight green dress at his side. Her arms were wrapped around his waist and his arms draped over her shoulders. Suddenly I couldn't breathe. What was going on? He was with me just three nights ago in my bed, making love to me? Who was this girl? Maybe I was overreacting to the situation. It was only a harmless embrace.

If that were all it was. I could have lived with that, but she stood on her tip toes and kissed his lips. _My lips_. My vision became blurred and my heart began to race. Without warning tears streamed down my face. I wanted to scream, to run away. But I was frozen just staring at him kissing her. He didn't object to her affection, he wanted it, he reciprocated it.

I felt a jolt on my arm and it was Alice tugging at me. "Bella!Bella! What's wrong? What happened?" Her voice was low but full of concern and I was just like stone, I couldn't move.

Then Alice must have notice my line of vision and she looked over to her brother who was paying no attention at all. I felt her arms wrap around me and turn me away toward the back door of the house.

I was numb. Alice moved us into the living room and sat me down on the couch with her arms wrapped comforting over my shoulders. She was such a good friend and I leaned my head against her shoulder and sobbed away while she rubbed me and soothed me until I was calm.

I don't know how long we sat there while I sobbed into her chest, but I needed to tell her what happened, I needed someone to know. "Alice I made such a mistake. I was so stupid." I cried on and on.

"There, there Bells, you are not stupid, you are one of the most brilliant people I know." Alice tried to rock me in her tiny little arms.

"Alice I had sex with Edward. It meant everything to me and he is out there with, with that blond." I pulled out of her embrace to gauge her reaction to my confession.

One thing I always loved about Alice, she never judged me. "Bella I am so sorry this happened to you. You didn't deserve to be treated like some disregarded toy. I knew he would hurt you, that's why I tried to keep him away from you." Her face was full of fury and I knew what she was about to do.

"ALICE NO!" I screamed after her, but it was useless. She was out the door and in the back yard before the words even left my mouth.

But what I didn't expect was the person she dragged back inside with her. Her cousin Caius Cullen. He resembled Carlisle a lot. Blond, blue eyes and drop dead gorgeous. Him and Edward were the same age , but Caius was going to school to be a lawyer. His smile was devious and he always looked like he was up to no good.

I looked at Alice confused and uneasy. Not sure what she was up to after all."Bella meet revenge, revenge meet Bella." Alice nodded smugly between me and Caius.

"I don't understand Alice. What are you up to?" I eyed her suspiciously.

"My dear cousin here as graciously accepted my offer to help me get back at my brother f or hurting you." Alice still smiled smugly.

"Alice, I don't think its a good idea to use him. I will just go home, its too much for me." I was pleading with her.

"No Bella, its not okay and I will not let Edward ruin you. Plus its Caius' party also, so it would be very rude of you to reject him." Alice winked at me.

"Alice this isn't going to accomplish anything." I sighed at her trying to pull myself together.

"On the contrary Bella, it will do me a bit of good to have such a beautiful young woman on my arm. I promise by the end of the night, you will be like Edward who?" Caius smiled confidently at me.

I wasn't sure I could handle this or seeing anymore of Edward with that girl, but it was a nice party and Caius was definitely good looking enough.

I pulled it together and decided to rejoin the party, only this time as Caius date. I excused myself to the bathroom and cleaned up my face, trying to regain my dignity. I wasn't about to let Edward Cullen get the best of me, not yet.

I walked back out into the yard taking a deep breath and plastering on a fake smile. I scanned the room like an idiot for Edward and he was now standing by his parents with no blond bimbo. I was relieved, but I knew it was time to put Alice's plan into motion.

I wasn't really sure how she expected this to work. Was it supposed to make Edward jealous seeing me with Caius because it didn't seem like he even cared about me at all. He_ had_ to know I was coming to the party.

Before I had time to dwell on it, Alice came strolling over and linked my arm into hers. She walked me to Caius side and winked at me, walking in the direction of her parents. I froze. _What was she doing?_

Caius grabbed my hand and intertwined our fingers giving me a reassuring squeeze. I could feel his breath near my ear. "Just relax Bella and play along. Trust me revenge is too sweet." His voice hung on the last word.

I nodded my head and tried to keep my staring unnoticed in Alice's direction. I could see the beautiful unaware smile laying on Edward's lips while his sister spoke to him. Completely unaware of my presence, but I knew Alice was up to no good and she would make sure he saw me.

Right on cue I saw his flawless smile go into a grim line. His face went from happy to mad in zero point two seconds. He was scowling in my direction, but I had no idea why. Was it painful for him to see me holding another guy's hand? Was the night of our love making playing on his mind, the pure torture it was putting him through.

Suddenly I felt better. I felt like I was now serving him his own dose of medicine and it felt good. My eyes never left his direction and knowing Caius was up for anything to help put this plan in motion, I did the unthinkable. I kissed him. Hard and passionately.

It definitely took him by surprise but he went right along with it like he has kissed me a million times before. When I broke the kiss I stared in the direction Edward had been standing in and he was gone. He was no longer there. Where did he go? Was he upset? Or did he go to find his blond bimbo?

"Wow Bella, didn't think you had it in you! Damn you have the softest lips I ever-" Before I could let him finish I held my hand up to stop him from speaking.

"Where did Edward go?" I asked suddenly feeling bad for hurting him. But why was I feeling bad? He kissed another girl right in front of me and didn't even care.

Caius chuckled softly into my ear. "He is on his way over. Three, two, one. Here's Edward!"

His eyes were blazing and not in that lustful I want to sex you up way. No they were blazing I am going to beat the crap out of that guy if he ever does that again way. In all honesty, it was hilarious and I couldn't help the giggle that escaped my lips.

"Whats the joke, because I would love to know what's so fucking funny over here." Edward was seething through his teeth. His jaw was clenched so hard I think if he put just a little more pressure into it, his teeth would shatter.

'Hey Edward, haven't seen you all night cuzo. Have you met my girl Bella?" Caius gestured his hand between us trying to give the impression we were together. Then he kissed my lips softly and pulled away.

Edward growled and I swear I saw steam coming from his head. "Bella, a word?" He was pissed and I was loving Alice at that moment.

"Yea, I don't think so Edward. Me and my boyfriend were just about to leave so we could be _alone." _I smiled sweetly up at him pulling tighter on Caius arm.

Caius was so amused that he natural fell into character with me. "Yes dear cousin, we were going to take a drive someplace more private."

That was all it took for Edward to lose it."YOUR'E NOT TAKING HER ANYWHERE."Edward roared.

By this point, I was annoyed with the game. It seemed fun for like a whole minute, but who was he to act jealous? He got what he wanted from me.

"That's enough! Go and find your blond skank Edward." I yelled at him dropping my hand from Caius and walking to the gate to go out to the front of the house. Alice had disappeared, but I wasn't in any mood to go locate her.

"Bella! BELLA!!" I could hear Edward yelling to me, but I didn't bother to turn around. Once again the tears came running down my cheeks. I was so humiliated I just needed to go home and forget Edward Cullen.

Has I made my way down the driveway I realized Alice drove me here and my truck was broken. I was so frustrated I just started walking down the street. It was dark already and their house was the only one on the road and it was surrounded by woods.

"Great! This is fucking great. What a damn night! Not only did Edward break my heart, but now I am going to get eaten by werewolves and vampires." I was just mumbling along not even paying attention to the foot steps behind me.

"Bella please wait, let me just talk to you for a minute." It was Edward and he was pleading with me. His voice sounded so defeated.

I turned around abruptly and I guess he wasn't expecting it cause he jumped when I faced him.

"What do you want to say to me Edward? _Oh Bella_ I am so sorry for being such a douche bag and taking your virginity and then oops forgot to mention I have a GIRLFRIEND!!!!" I was beyond livid at this point.

He was silent and I just rolled my eyes and began walking again, but he grabbed my arm before I could get too far. _What was up with everyone grabbing my damn arm!_

"Look Bella I don't know what you expected. I am sorry your feelings got hurt, but you agreed to sleep with me with no questions asked." He was looking at me like that made everything okay.

I was stunned. I was such an idiot to think he felt anything for me. Such a stupid fool. But then why did he act so jealous back there with Caius? I was so confused.

"W-why did you act so jealous back there, with your cousin? Why did you say being with me was the best thing that ever happened to you?" Now tears wouldn't stop falling.

"I wasn't jealous that he had you Bella, I just know what a jerk he is and you're so sweet, I didn't want him to hurt you."

"Hurt me? Hurt me? You mean hurt me like you are hurting me right now?" The sobs got deeper and deeper.

"What about that night in my room? Did that mean anything to you at all?" I looked up at him through my long lashes, looking for any gleam of hope.

I could see the conflict on his face and he pinched the bridge of his nose. He looked up at the night sky as if the answer was written on a star.

"It meant everything" He said it so low that I almost thought I wasn't meant to hear him.

I don't know what came over me, but I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him hard, passionately, urgently. He kissed me back with the same urgency and lifted me up and pushed me against a nearby tree. My hands wrapped into his soft cooper hair while his arms were secured around my waist. I wrapped my legs around his waist and we continued our kissing.

Has mad and upset as I had been at him, the pull I had to him won over everything else. I had to be close to him, touching him. Without even realizing it, he was unbuttoning his khaki pants and pulling under my dress trying to remove my panties. Without hesitation, I helped him remove the undergarment and he was buried deep inside my womb.

His thrusts were hard and deep. I could feel my orgasm building deep within me until everything around me went black. Moments later I felt Edward find his release and he pulled out of me slowly. Gently he lifted me back to the ground.

I watched him pull his pants up and his face looked pained. Then I remembered the blond, who was she to him. I had to know.

"Who was that blond girl Edward? What is she to you? Your girlfriend? I tried to keep the hurt out of my voice over the last part.

"Bella the blond isn't my girlfriend. She is my fiancee." I watched his face fill with regret and I felt my heart shatter into a thousand pieces.


	3. Chapter 3

Thank you to everyone who has been reading my story so far. You know I visualized this to be a great piece of work, lets see if I can get it there. If you have any suggestions or ideas or opinions please feel free to add them to the reviews or send me a private message. Has always I don't own Twilight or the characters, just my interpretation.

**CHAPTER THREE**

(Still in 2000)

I just stared at Edward with disbelief. _Fiancee?_ Alice never mentioned it. "How long?" I whispered in a sob.

"I proposed two months ago." He wasn't even looking in my direction.

Was he serious? I felt like such a whore. I slept with almost married man. Did I even have a right to feel this way? We knew each other forever, but in all reasonable sense, we didn't really know each other. We only just had our first real conversation 3 nights ago. Why now?

It felt like the wind was just knocked out of me.. I felt my knees give way, but two strong arms were wrapped around me before I could hit the ground.

"DON'T TOUCH ME! DON'T YOU EVER TOUCH ME AGAIN!" I screamed so loud while my tears just did their thing.

"Bella I am so sorry. I didn't think I would see you and feel this way, but I-" But before he even finished his last pathetic word I punched him square in the face.

He stumbled backwards holding onto his now bloody nose. "Bella what the fuck?" He spat at me.

It felt good knocking him in the face, but the sight of the blood pouring out of his nose was making me queasy. Me and blood didn't mix. I could feel my head spinning and I was getting light headed.

Next thing I remember is waking up in Alice's bed. I could feel my head pounding and throbbing. I tried to sit up, but a pair of tiny hands came down on my chest pushing me back down onto the bed.

"Don't try to move Bella, just relax." Alice was looking down at me like a mother to her sick child.

"Alice, what happened? How did I get here?" I was holding my hand to my forehead feeling the room swaying.

Alice let out a small giggle. "You don't remember what happened?"

"I remember punching your idiot of a brother in the face, but then everything is a blank after that." I said shaking the pain out of my throbbing head.

Alice giggled some more. "You passed out on the road and hit your head on the curb apparently. Edward ran all the way back to the house to get dad. You hit your head pretty hard."

That made sense to me. "Am I okay? How long have I been out?" I started to panic.

"Not long, maybe 20 minutes at the most." Alice shrugged and smiled at me

I sighed with relief. I looked up at Alice's ceiling trying to recall the events of the day. All I really wanted at that point was to go home and hopefully never see sight of Edward Cullen again.

Oh but fate was just too cruel to me because I could hear someone clearing "his" throat. I sat up with an evil grimace across my face.

His expression looked as if he was struggling and I almost flipped until I saw the bandage across his nose. Suddenly that wicked grimace turned into a triumph smile. He looked awful and I had caused it. His nose was purple and swollen. He got what he deserved!

I was feeling very smug with myself and he must have noticed because he smiled slightly. "Edward, get out. Nobody in here wants you here, especially me." Alice said exactly what I was thinking.

His face turned into a hurt expression. Like a wounded animal. "I'm sorry." It was all he said before leaving the room.

"Alice I really want to leave now, can you take me home?" I begged.

She nodded and grabbed her keys from the nightstand by her bed. Carlisle looked me over for a few minutes to make sure I was okay and told me to take some Tylenol for my head when I got home and to call him if I felt dizzy. I agreed and we drove to my house in complete silence.

Alice knew me very well, enough to know that I didn't need her to say a word. She just told me to call her if I needed anything. With that I was in the house and on my bed. I peeled off my clothes and with a small thud hit my bed and went to sleep.

Alice explained to me days later that she knew nothing about Edward's engagement. Apparently he was waiting for his party to announce it, except I ruined the moment. I had no desire to speak to him or hear anything about him. Alice promised to not speak about him anymore to me and if I were invited to her house, she would make sure he would not be there.

Not that it mattered, once the summer was over I was headed to New Hampshire to study English. And to be far far away from Forks Washington and _Edward Cullen_. Alice would be In New York City attending FIT perusing her love for fashion

The summer flew by more quickly than I would have thought. I did a good job avoiding him all summer. I spent majority of it working in the lodge as a waitress.

It was the night before I would be on a plane headed to the east coast. Alice wanted to throw a going away party since her and I would be leaving tomorrow, but the thought of a party of any kind didn't really appeal to my senses considering what happened at the last two I attended.

She understood, like she always did. Alice was just an amazing person, I would miss her dearly.

So she opted for a movie and dinner instead. I had drove my truck so we hugged after and went our separate ways. The evening had been wonderful, but what I didn't expect to see when I pulled into the driveway was a silver Volvo and a cooper dickhead leaning against it.

I sighed rather deeply has I got out of my truck slamming the door hard. Has if that would give him enough warning he wasn't welcome here. "What do you want Edward?" I made sure he could her the annoyance in my voice loud and clear.

"In all honesty, I don't know." He took a deep breath running his hand through his messy hair.

"Well if that's your best excuse, I hope you don't mind that I don't plan to stick around for the rest." I tried to brush past him, but he stood in my way.

He looked down at me with pure determination. I crossed my arms over my chest and gave a loud huff hoping he would get on with whatever he was attempting so I could go inside.

"I didn't mean to hurt you. It was such a mistake." He looked up and I could see him shake slightly.

"The only mistake here is letting myself believe Edward Cullen had a heart." With that I pushed him aside and walked in my house never turning back.

He didn't attempt to knock, but he stood outside for at least an hour pacing back and forth. Good thing for him Charlie was at the station working late. Eventually he got in his car and left, but for some reason that hurt me even more.

Alice and me we on the same flight out of Seattle Tacoma International Airport. Flight 57782 nonstop to JFK International in New York. Once we would land in New York I would take another connecting flight to New Hampshire. Charlie and me said goodbye at our house because Carlisle had offered to drive us to the airport. Dad wished us well and told me to call him when I got there.

Alice had come to pick me up while Carlisle ran a few errands before the flight. We had a few hours to burn before the flight so we went to hang out at her house. I didn't mention her brother's appearance at my house and I didn't even bother to ask if he would be there at theirs.

Pulling into Alice's driveway I was a little disappointed not to see Edward's car, but in a way relieved. Seeing him was painful, but at the same time pleasurable. I _must be a sadist or a masochist_.

The best part of the Cullen clan was, they made you feel so welcome. You felt like their home was your home. But then again I have known them my entire life, so this was my second home. Alice offered to play hostess, but Esme shooed her along to finish her packing. I had grabbed an apple from the kitchen counter before going to join her in her room . But then I heard the distinct sound of a piano.

The song that was playing was a beautiful melody that sounded sad. I followed the beautiful melody like I was under a hypnotic spell and it led me into one of the further rooms of the house I barely ever went into. Once I reached the door way of what looked to be a study, I saw a huge grand piano in the middle of the room and a coopered haired boy playing it.

I had almost forgot Edward's love for the piano. _How could I forget? _I attended every one of his recitals. Alice always believed she had to beg me to go, but I was just tricking her into believing it. I was more than willing to. I loved watching him play and hearing him. It was the most sexiest thing to me. And he played so very well.

Has I approached him I watched his fingers move gracefully over the keys. He was very skillful with those fingers stroking the ivory, mmmm. I was behind him so he did not see me come in and I made sure to keep my movements quiet. But of course Bella Swan was far from graceful and tripped over the end of the rug right into his unknowing back.

I heard him screech an"OUCH" along with a thud, which I took as his head hitting the upper part of the piano.

I tried to get to my feet as quickly as possible so maybe I could make a quick escape, but he was always so quick with his movements that he glared at me mid stand.

"Um, I tripped sorry." I mumbled in his direction.

I thought he would be upset or angry to see me there, but the look that went across his angelic face was _joy_? He looked happy to see me and quickly stood to help me to my feet.

"I didn't mean to interrupt. I heard you down the hall and it sounded wonderful." I was stumbling all over my words. Can you say Awkward moment?

"No no it's fine, really. You didn't interrupt anything. It's good to see you Bella." His smile was wary, like he expected me to blow up at any minute.

"Well if you will excuse me, I better go back to Alice." I said turning to leave.

"Please, don't leave yet. I mean I would really like your company for a few minutes at least?" He was asking, not telling me.

I don't know what came over me, but I shook my head and took a seat next to him on the piano bench.

"I was in the middle of finishing the piece you heard before you walked in. What did you think of it?" He asked like an eager child.

"It was lovely." I tried to smile politely at him.

"No, no. I mean, how does it make you _feel_?" He emphasized on the feel part.

I thought about it for a moment. It made me feel a lot of things. But mostly conflicted.

"It sounds like a love song." I said bleakly.

"Something like that." He muttered to himself.

We sat in silence for a few more minutes. I had enough with the weirdness and began to stand when he grabbed my hand pulling me back down.

He looked me deep in my eyes and I was in a trance. Lost in pools of emerald green. Without realization, I was leaning into his lips. Those sweet soft irresistible lips. Damn it all to hell! I had worked so hard avoiding him all summer, even dissing him last night. BOOM! He plays some stupid song on the piano and I'm basically begging him to take me right here. I immediately got my wits about me and pulled away.

I basically stood up and ran out the door. and up the stairs heading in the direction of Alice's room. But my head was hazy _Which room belonged to Alice?_ Damn this house and all its billion damn doors. Trying my best to gain control of my senses I felt strong arms wrap around me and swoop me off the floor. Soft sweet lips crushed mine and I heard a door being kicked open and then kicked closed.

I found myself being thrown on a big soft bed and then a strong hot body on top of me. He pushed his lips back onto mine and I got so caught up in the moment I found my hands in those soft tresses and him pulling at my clothes. All the events of before summer came flooding all at once. All the tears, heartbreak, and loneliness hit me like thunder.

"EDWARD STOP!" I pushed him with all the effort I could getting him to remove his body from mine.

I began to frantically re-button my shirt. I looked in his direction and he was sitting on the edge of his bed with his face in his hands.

"I keep hurting you, don't I?" He said in a sad tone.

I looked at him from my standing position. "Edward look at me." He removed his head from his hands and his eyed looked so pained. "I can't let you do this to me. I am leaving and I won't be back. I hope I don't ever see you again."

With that I walked out and into the bathroom and cried until it was time for us to go to the airport. Nobody questioned me. Alice probably knew she had a 6 hour flight to probe at me. Once it was time to head out I saw no sign of him in the house. Only the sound of the song he returned playing in the other room.....

A week had passed and it was my first official day of classes. I was excited to get started and occupy my head. Edward had plagued me me long enough. Lost in my thoughts I didn't even realize I had walked right into a hard, tall object. When I looked up I was met with tan skin, dark black hair and deep brown eyes. I just stared up at him with wonder.

An adorable smile grew across his face and revealed bright white teeth. "Hi I'm Jacob."

I knew in that moment, _Edward who?_

Chapter Notes.......

Okay so that's the shortest chapter so far cause I didn't want to get all into it, but it will help move the story a lot further into time. You know how teenager girls are when they first like someone, overly emotional. Well I know how each stage in our lives we think our feelings are stronger than the last. It will get better for them, I promise. So let me know what you think. Anyone interested in Edward's POV? Let me know. Thanks to everyone who has shown me love, it warm my heart so much


	4. Chapter 4

Thank you to everyone who is following my story, it means so much to me. This is alot of fun and i love that people are excited to read it. Has always, i do not own twilight or the characters, only my interaptation. Everything is fiction to fit my preception

**CHAPTER 4**

( 2 years later, 2002)

It was a Friday night in early June. Jake sat beside me on the front porch just staring at me. We had arrived this morning in Forks for summer break from Dartmouth. The early evening air was warm and there was no promise of rain.

Jake looked over at me and an adorable smile laid over his luscious lips.

"What?" I asked cocking my eyebrows at him.

"You are just so beautiful you know. I still can't believe your mine. I love you so much Bella." He reached over and placed a sweet kiss on my lips then rubbed my cheek. He looked me deeply in my eyes.

"Me too, Jake." I smiled brightly at him.

He began to chuckle a little and I didn't understand what he found amusing.

"What are you laughing about over there." I asked.

"You never say it Bella." He smirked looking down at the ground fiddling with a stick drawing circles in the dirt.

'Say what?" I asked feeling confused.

"I love you back. You always say me too or like wise. But in the two years we have been dating, you never told me I love you first or after I say it to you. I just find that strange." He shrugged continuing to play with the stick.

"I've said it plenty of times. What about the first time?" I protested.

"Nope that was me." His smile edged in the corner of his mouth.

I had remembered that day. It was in early October last year and we had overslept and I rushed him out the door. I had my flip flops on because the weather was still warm, but I got a rock caught between my toes. I remember how Jake looked at me with a wondrous smile, absolutely child like, amazement almost. Then he had helped me to my feet and said "Bella you are so clumsy, do you know how much I love you?". It came out so naturally, but he was right, I didn't say it back, I just kissed him hard.

'Well Mr. Black, I do, so stop caring how I say it, just that I do say it." I crossed my arms over my chest and pouted.

He chuckled but wrapped his big arms around me and pulled me into his embrace. "Oh Ms. Swan, what ever will I do with you?"

"I can think of a few things." I whispered back seductively.

But before we could go further into the conversation, someone cleared their throat.

I looked up and saw Alice. I jumped to my feet quickly, definitely not with any grace and squeezed my best friend tightly.

She fell back a little bit, but hugged me with the same eagerness back. "Alice when did you get here? I have missed you so much!" I beamed at her.

I hadn't seen Alice since Christmas break in December. Though the drive was only about 2 hours from both our schools, time was hard to come by. I was trying super hard with my classes and plus we both had boyfriends also. It was hard making time for each other.

"I just got in an hour ago. Ed-, I mean I just got home from the airport wanted to see if you got in yet." She smiled with tension rising in her face.

She was afraid to even say his name at this point. I had to breath out a sigh. It had been 2 years, was I really that fragile that I couldn't hear his name. I hadn't seen him since I left for college.

I never told Jake about Edward. It was too embarrassing and humiliating to mention. Plus what new guy wants to hear about an old flame? What was there really to tell anyway? Edward just wanted to get laid and that was it. His fiancee must be a prude.

I shook my head. "You can say his name, I promise its okay."

Her face relaxed and she began to tell me about her plane ride. She hugged Jake after her rambling and then suggested plans for us all this evening. Her boyfriend Jasper would be in town and would love for us to have a good night out. We agreed to her plans and she suggested we all meet at 9pm at my house since it was closest to the interstate.

Jake had went home to change into some nicer clothes and said he would be back soon .Has it turned out, Jake lived in La Push about 12 miles from Forks. Even our father's hit it off and became good friends. It seemed fate wanted us to meet.

I took a shower and got dressed in a dark blue strapless dress that sparkled. It had a ribbon belt and flowed just above the knee. It was a gift from my mom in Arizona. I added some black heels not too high and let my hair flow down my back. I added a little red lipstick and fressina body spray.

Jake came back around 8:30pm in a white dress shirt and black pants with black dress boots. His short hair was spiky and shiny. He smelled of musk body spray, yummy. "Wow Bella, you look, wow." He wore an expression that was of awe. It made me blush.

"Thank you Jake, you look pretty great too." I kissed his cheek.

Alice had called me to inform me they were ready has well. Jake offered to drive so we all could drink. We were headed to a bar in Port Angeles called "FANG". It was a great karaoke spot.

Jasper and Jake offered to get us our drinks while me and Alice scanned for a table. "Alice I love your dress, it looks great one you.!" I complimented my girl.

'Not too shabby yourself Swan. Tonight should be a hoot!" Alice bounced in her sit.

I raised my eyebrows at her "hoot" comment which definitely didn't go unnoticed.

"Stop looking at me like that. I can't help my sexy country boy is rubbing off on me." She smiled shyly.

I just shook my head and laughed.

We were on our 4th round of drinks when I heard a familiar "LOUD" booming voice off in the distance. I stretched my head up looking in the direction I could hear the voice.

"Alice do you hear that voice?" I smiled devious at her.

Alice turned herself around to glance in the direction I was looking. "Ooh that is definitely who you think it is!" Alice basically jumped off the chair jolting in the direction of the booming voice.

I followed not far behind her, leaving both Jake and Jasper confused. In unison me and Alice both yelled. "EMMETT!"

There he was Emmett McCarty. He was tall muscular, curly haired and full of dimpled cheeks. His dark brown hair and golden eyes, definitely something to look at. But he had the biggest heart I had ever encountered. He was Edward's best friend, his only bad quality. I loved him like a brother because if I tried to love him anyway else his fiancee Rosalie would have broke every bone in my body.

Rose was beautiful, blond leggy, and straight up. She took nothing from no-one, except Emmett. Since both me and Alice knew Emmett since we were kids, Rose definitely befriended us immediately. Also it didn't hurt that she had a good motive, _love_.

"Well isn't it my 2nd two favorite ladies in the whole world. Can I get some love?" Emmett boomed.

Me and Alice both giggled and jumped at him. Rose was coming up behind him with another blond girl. You could see the amused look on Rose's face when she saw us lunge at her man. She playfully rolled her eyes toward the blond, but has they got closer, I knew who she was. The bigger question was, _who was her date_?

I didn't have to wait long for the answer when cooper hair glistened in the strobe lights and a priceless smile glanced in my direction. My heart stopped. I thought after all these years he wouldn't still have this overwhelming affect on me, but there I was in awe, like always.

He was like a drug, my brand of heroin. No matter how bad you know it is for you, the feeling it leaves you with can't be matched. (Not that I know, just saying)

"Earth to Bella." Rose snapped her fingers in my face.

"I'm here." I tried to shake my head from the clouds he made form.

"Can we join you?" Emmett asked sweetly.

I can do this I thought. I can endure a couple hours of Edward, right? I was with Jake anyway. Jake blew me out of the water every time. But he never blew my mind the way Edward did.

But Alice was already dragging them in the direction of the table and handing out introductions. Everyone greeted everyone and when Alice introduced Edward and Jake I thought I would've died.

She pulled me swiftly by the arm and placed me next to Jake, who naturally wrapped his arms around my shoulders.

I watched Edward's face carefully.

"Jacob this is my brother Edward. Edward this is the love of Bella's life, Jacob." Alice tipped her head smugly.

I watched both their faces. Jacob was completely unaware of what Edward had meant to me, so he was gracious shaking Edward's hand. But I gauged Cullen's reaction and noticed how fake his smile had become.

'Nice to meet you Ed. Bella never mentioned Alice had a brother. I had actually thought she was an only child." Jake smiled innocently at him.

I spit my drink out all over Jake in surprise by his comment.

I could hear giggles coming from around the table, but loudest from Alice, who I gave a dirty look.

'Well I am here now, no worries." Edward said shaking Jake's hand.

I was afraid to look at Edward's face, _how did that make him feel_? Who cares how he feels And what did he mean by no worries I am here. Nobody was worried Cullen! But when I looked up and caught his still plastered fake smile, I saw something in his beautiful green eyes, _hurt_.

"Oh let me introduce my,my, um, Tanya." Edward waved his hand in a display fashion to show off his date.

Everyone greeted her politely, but me, I just smiled dramatically at her. I won't let dumb and dumber ruin my buzz.

"Alice how about a song!" I didn't even give her a chance to respond. I had already pulled her up on the stage.

"Geez Bella what is your deal?" She asked rubbing her arm.

"Nice introduction back there." I pointed with my thumb sarcastically.

"I want him to know how well you moved on. Don't want him having any ideas." She said defending her actions.

"The only idea it gave him is that I care and I don't, so let's have fun." I said trying to be nonchalant.

"What song do you want to sing?" She asked and I knew exactly my pick.

"You're so vain." I smugly nodded my head.

"Ooh I love that one!" She was clueless of my choice, but I knew _he_ would pick it up.

(Bella)

You walked into the party like you were walking onto a yacht  
Your hat strategically dipped below one eye  
Your scarf it was apricot  
You had one eye in the mirror as you watched yourself gavotte  
And all the girls dreamed that they'd be your partner  
They'd be your partner, and...  
(Alice)  
You're so vain, you probably think this song is about you  
You're so vain, I'll bet you think this song is about you  
Don't you? Don't You?  
(Bella)  
You had me several years ago when I was still quite naive  
Well you said that we made such a pretty pair  
And that you would never leave  
But you gave away the things you loved and one of them was me  
I had some dreams, they were clouds in my coffee  
Clouds in my coffee, and...  
(Bella & Alice)  
You're so vain, you probably think this song is about you  
You're so vain, I'll bet you think this song is about you  
Don't you? Don't You? Don't You?

I had some dreams they were clouds in my coffee  
Clouds in my coffee, and...

You're so vain, you probably think this song is about you  
You're so vain, I'll bet you think this song is about you  
Don't you? Don't You?

Well I hear you went up to Saratoga and your horse naturally won  
Then you flew your Lear jet up to Nova Scotia  
To see the total eclipse of the sun  
Well you're where you should be all the time  
And when you're not you're with  
Some underworld spy or the wife of a close friend  
Wife of a close friend, and...

You're so vain, you probably think this song is about you  
You're so vain, I'll bet you think this song is about you  
Don't you? Don't You? Don't you?

You're so vain, you probably think this song is about you  
You're so vain, you probably think this song is about you

The whole time we were singing I kept my head in the direction of Edward. He looked very annoyed and I bet it had something to do with my song of choice. H mph there! Hope that hurts!

Has we approached the table everyone was clapping and howling, especially Emmett. Jake laughed clueless to what was unraveling around him. With a violent motion , Edward threw back a shot of whatever was in front of him.

"That looked like fun Bella. I think its my turn." He gave me a devious grin and walked to the stage.

"Oh this will be interesting." Alice leaned into me smirking.

"I do hope he can sing." Giggled Tanya.

I didn't know much about her, just that she must be really dumb. She obviously was clueless that her Edward was such a douche. Wait? _Her_ Edward?No that didn't _sound_ right. It didn't even _feel_ right.

Jake smiled at me wrapping his strong arms around my waist resting his chin on my shoulder. I just watched Edward say something to the DJ and smiled brightly up at us.

(Edward)

Jessie is a friend,  
Yeah I know he's been a good friend of mine  
But lately something's changed  
It ain't hard to define  
Jessie's got himself a girl  
And I want to make her mine  
And she's watching him with those eyes  
And she's lovin' him with that body, I just know it  
And he's holding her in his arms late, late at night

You know I wish that I had Jessie's Girl  
I wish that I had Jessie's Girl  
Where can I find a woman like that

I'll play along with this charade  
That doesn't seem to be a reason to change  
You know I feel so dirty when they start talking cute  
I wanna tell her that I love her but the point is probably moot  
'Cause she's watching him with those eyes  
And she's lovin' him with that body, I just know it  
And he's holding her in his arms late, late at night

You know I wish that I had Jessie's Girl  
I wish that I had Jessie's Girl  
Where can I find a woman like that?

Like Jessie's Girl  
I wish that I had Jessie's Girl  
Where can I find a woman  
Where can I find a woman like that

And I'm lookin' in the mirror all the time  
Wonderin' what she don't see in me  
I've been funny; I've been cool with the lines  
Ain't that the way love's supposed to be  
Tell me where can I find a woman like that

You know I wish that I had Jessie's Girl  
I wish that I had Jessie's Girl  
I want Jessie's girl  
Where can I find a woman like that?  
Like Jessie's Girl

I wish that I had Jessie's Girl  
I want, I want Jessie's Girl

I watched him in shock. Of all the songs he could have chose, it had to be that one? Of course nobody else figured it out, but me and Alice. We both eyed each other in surprise. Obviously any idiot could of guessed, but all their faces looked oblivious.

They cheered as Edward finished up. He strolled back over to the table and Emmett smacked him on the back in congrats, but his eyes were fixed on me and only me. He had a satisfied smirk on his face. I just wanted to smack it right off.

He took a swig of his beer and Tanya pulled him in for a kiss, but for some reason he blocked her so it was his cheek she got. I cocked my eyes at him and he smiled softly. I felt a blush grow on my cheeks.

But his sweet smile soon faded when I noticed his eyes glare at Jake's arms wrapped around me. Weirdly enough, I shrugged out of Jake's grip, but he tried to refasten his hands and I swiftly pulled away. _What was wrong with me?_

Jake looked at me puzzled for my sudden action. "Bells, you okay?"

"I, I need to use the ladies room. ALICE COME WITH ME!" I was screaming across to her.

"OKAY BELLA!" She screamed back while everyone was staring at us like we were nuts.

I grabbed her hand and we moved quickly in the direction of the bathroom, but before we even got a foot from the table I heard a annoying voice yell to us, "Wait I gotta go too!" Tanya's hitched voice came at us.

"Alice NO!" I whispered yelled to her.

"We can't just leave her Bella. That wouldn't be nice." She whispered back.

Alice always thinking of others feelings. Damn her!

"I really need to talk to you." I begged with my eyes.

"Fine, we can ask Rose to take her and we will go outside for air. There is that better?" Alice crossed her arms at me.

"Yes." I said nodding.

We explained we needed air and Tanya's face immediately fell into a hurt expression. I felt bad, just a little bad. Me and Alice made our way outside and the cool night air hit my face. It felt refreshing after all the tension on the inside.

"Alice I can't do it. I can't be around him. I feel like I'm 18 all over again. He got this power over me!" I tugged at my hair in frustration.

"I can't believe he chose Jessie's girl. Like could it be any more obvious?" Alice said dumbfounded.

"Like all you had to do is remove Jessie and" at the same time we both replied, "Jake".

I sighed in frustration. "Oh Alice I love him, I can't love him. Its just not natural."

'I can make him leave." Alice said reassuringly.

"No, no don't do that. I can just tell Jake I am ready to go."

But I wasn't ready to go. I was having fun, even with Edward being Edward. It was fun, enjoyable to see him. It only hurt when she stood too close to him. When Jake would try to touch me. No I wanted to stay, to see Edward, to hang on his every damn word. Yes I loved the pain he inflicted. _I was an addict for Edward Cullen. _

"Are you sure Bella?" Alice asked concerned.

"Yes." NO!

"Okay, well I will get the boys and let them know we are ready to go.." I could hear the disappointment in her voice.

"Alice wait. We can stay a little longer, I can ignore your brother. Its not that bad." I definitely would try. NOT!

Her face instantly cheered up. "Really Bella? I mean its totally fine if you want to go, are you sure?"

"Yes Alice." I smiled at her sweet little face. "Just give me a minute okay and I will be in."

She nodded her head in understanding and walked back into the bar. I needed to put my game face on if I was gonna face the sexy god. I shook my hands out and jumped up and down trying to calm the nerves.

Come on Bella, you can do this. Its been years. Its all in your head. You got a wonderful man now. Jake is great and he loves you! Yup that was my pep talk and I thought I had it all worked out until someone spoke my name.

"Bella?" Edward sounded wary. Like he was afraid to speak to me.

No idea what kind of hold he had on me, but the minute I turned and saw those angelic green eyes I melted. It all happened in what seemed like slow motion. We stared at each other and moved closer. Soon our bodies were touching and his strong hands pulled me into his chest. Embrace.

"Mm, strawberries." He muttered into my hair.

I relaxed instantly in his arms. It felt right being with him there, like this. In ways it never felt with Jake.

"Oh I missed you so much Edward." I mumbled into his chest.

"Sweet, sweet Bella, I missed you too." He kissed my head.

His hands slid to the sides of my face and he angled my head so my eyes were alined with his. His expression was confused, hypnotized, allured. I didn't really know, but my eyes darted to his mouth.

Maybe if I tasted them it would be awful. It would not be as good as I remember. Because when you are a inexperienced things aren't the same once you have become more experienced.

His lips were parted and he took a deep intake of breathe and I closed the distance of our mouths. His soft lips pressed against mine and electricity surged through me. Instinctively I pulled at his hair and pulled him in so close, I don't think you could fit a sheet of paper between our bodies.

He moaned into my mouth. "Oh Bella, you taste so good, just the way I remember."

"God Edward what are you doing to me?" I muttered in between kisses.

We pulled a part panting hard. He leaned his forehead against mine. "I love you." Was all that came out.

"I love you too, I always have. If you had just let me explain years ago, we would be together now." His breathing was so uneven.

I looked up to him and continued my assault on his mouth, but then a sudden gasp from behind us left us both standing still....

Thank you my lovely's for reading. If you have an opinion or a comment please feel free to leave it. I like suggestions. The songs I chose for the karaoke were what to me sounded so suiting lol. I will try to get another chapter up maybe tonight or tomorrow.

Carl Simon, You're so Vain

Rick Springfield Jessie's Girl


	5. Chapter 5

Thank you to everyone who put me on their favorites, it means a lot! The next few chapters will be from Edward's POV and will help explain some things about him. Hope you enjoy. Has always I do not own twilight or the characters. All things and places outside of the actual twilight story are fictional and made up. ALL HUMAN.

**CHAPTER 5**

(June 2000)

I could hear the thumping of the music coming from under me. It filled the vast house with vibration. I looked myself over in my long mirror checking out my outfit. I had on a pair of faded blue jeans with a short sleeve dark gray button down shirt and some sneakers. I ran my hand through my messy hair to even out the damage and took a deep breath. Hopefully Emmett would arrive soon.

Finally Emmett arrived and we took vacancy in a corner of my living room. One by one girls circled around us, like we were their prey. But honestly there was only one girl at this party who's attention I wanted and attention that I missed. _Bella._

I had known Bella Swan basically my whole life since Alice and her were best friends. I never had the nerve to speak to her, though I did attempt it. But whenever I got close enough to her, my head went into overdrive and all that ever came out was hey or how you doing. She made me a mess. _Beautiful?_ God the world was an understatement. No words could describe her, a work of art. Priceless in my eyes.

The girls around me babbled needlessly and I acted as if paying attention. Running my hands through my hair feeling frustrated, I smiled. That's when I saw her.

She was standing by the stairs speaking to someone unknown to me. _Breathtaking_. Her beautiful brown hair shining and those big brown eyes. What a vision! That blue shirt, wow I loved her in blue.

Then I caught her gaze. It was like a magnet, she drew me in, but far too quickly she looked away. I was disappointed to say the least. But it didn't stop me from stealing glances in her direction. I spent about half the night trying to gain my courage to walk over and speak to her.

It was getting late and I knew time would be running out. She probably would be leaving soon or someone might try to take her home. NO! The idea killed me. The thought of someone else with her. Sudden raised voice caught my attention. I looked up into Bella's direction and say Mike Newton touching her arm. NO, not touching. He had a rather tight hold on her and her facial expression said everything it had to.

"Emmett let's go." I said pointing out why the sudden rudeness. He looked at me and nodded.

"I think she said let her go and if you have any wits about you Newton, you better do it or you won't be having much use of it.."I made sure the dipshit heard the venom in my voice. I glared at him .

He immediately dropped his hand and gave me a look like a scared little puppy. Me and Emmett picked his sorry ass up and threw him outside.

"Dude I' m sorry man. Just Swan wants me so bad, she just playing hard to get. You know how these girls are." Mike smiled like he was one of my boys.

"Um no I don't know how these girls are because I never had to force a girl or ask her more than once to go out with me. Normally if they said no, it means no." I looked at him disgusted with my arms wrapped over my chest.

"Oh please you couldn't nail her either." He said laughing.

That's all it took for me to punch him dead in the face. He fell backwards and Emmett started laughing and pointing at him.

"Ha ha you asshole!" He laughed so hard.

Mike just tried to get up and run off. I wanted to pummel him a little more, but I wanted to check to make sure Bella was okay. I walked back in the house and over to the DJ booth. I took the mic and announced the party was over. I didn't stay long enough to see the looks or hear anything else. Bella was my only concern.

I walked up the stairs to Alice's room and saw her on the bed. Her long brown hair hanging down her back. I just wanted to touch it. Smell it. Pull it. Gain control Cullen. I stepped in quietly and it took everything in me not to grab her and throw her on the bed and take her. Like I had any right.

So I settled for gently touching her shoulders to let her know I was there. She nearly jumped to the ceiling and I assumed that was from her attack minutes before. I felt regret immediately when I saw her grip at her chest.

"I'm so sorry that I scared you, I just wanted to see if you were alright." I twigged in pain.

Her facial expression however confused me. She looked relieved to see me and she looked happy. Her eyes captured my heart.

"Newton is a bit of an ass. I really didn't think he had it in him though to hit on you like that. He's lucky all I did was kick him on his ass." I gave her my best smile. Though I had punched him in the face, but lets be a gentleman here.

She just smiled at me and I was lost in her. I had wanted to kiss her and hold her so many times. She was everything I fantasized about and her brown eyes were mine right now. Then I heard a squeaky voice saying my name and it broke my perfect moment.

"Hey Edward, what are you doing in my room?" Alice asked in annoyed voice.

"I was just checking on Bella." I reluctantly got up from the bed and went to the door.

I walked slowly hoping she would stop me. I prayed with every fiber of my being she would. Then I heard my name. Yes god, thank you!

'Edward." She said in unsure tone.

"Hmm" I replied. Great job jack ass!

"Umm thank you." She looked so sweet and innocent.

I just shook my head and smiled feeling like the biggest moron and walked out.

What the fuck was that? You are such an idiot! Go talk to the girl man! You never have this happen, EVER! I hit my head with my hands. I paced in frustration in the hallway. I can't let her leave. No that wouldn't happen. How could I get her to stay? Who brought her here?

I knew she had the beat up piece of shit truck. That was it! Emmett was sitting in my living room eating on the couch when I whizzed passed him.

"Dude where you going?" Emmett called after me.

I ignored him and made for the driveway. People where still leaving, so I tried my best not to seem suspicious. I spotted Bella's piece of junk and quickly checked to see if the doors were unlocked. Of course an antique like that, it wouldn't be hard to break into anyway, but luckily she left it unlocked.

I searched under the steering wheel for the hood popper and found it. I popped her hood and pulled off one of the battery cables. I would definitely pay for any damage I caused later. It would be worth it. I shut the hood quietly and made my way back into the house.

I could hear Bella saying her goodbyes to Alice and I watched her descend from my house down to where her truck was. I ran back in to get my car keys. This would be my opportunity.

I walked nonchalantly toward her twirling my keys around my finger. I knew my face was laced with guilt, but I couldn't help the guilty smile growing over my face. I was going to make good use of tonight.

"Is everything okay?" I smirked wickedly at her.

"My stupid truck won't start. I was coming to see if Alice would drop me off at home." She looked flushed.

I felt a little bad for what I plotted, just a little. The smirk grew."I can take you home, if you want. Being I already was on my way out. It wouldn't be a big deal."

I was not going anywhere, but in her direction. Her divine direction. Her face filled with a conflicted look, but her mumbling surprised me more.

"Did Edward Cullen just offer to drive me home? That would mean being alone in a car with him? Just us?"

I laughed because she really was too cute and it made my heart beat faster. She liked me, so it seemed.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say it out loud, I just I'm going to shut up now." Her face flushed a dark shade of red. Beautiful.

"Do I make you uncomfortable Bella?" I pleaded that was not the case, but then again I understood.

She made me feel like a little kid. I just was intimidated by this master piece of a girl.

"Umm, it's just that, well you are who you are and I am who I am." She stuttered and gestured between us.

Like the thought of us was absurd. She had no idea.

"Exactly what is that? Because from my perspective, you are beautiful young lady who needs a ride home and I am just a gentleman willing to help you out." I winked at her to ease her.

"Okay, well thank you for offering to take me home." Again with her beautiful blush.

"Not a problem Bella, shall we?" I motioned for her to go to my car and I opened her door for her.

I didn't talk to her the whole drive to her house because I was building up my confidence on what to say. How to act.

I ran my hand through my hair figuring out what my next move was, but I could see her hand on the door handle trying to escape. No that won't do. I grabbed the handle, pulling the door back shut.

"Wait um one second please, before you get out. There is something I would like to say." I was jittery. I had no fucking clue what to say to her.

She removed her hand and looked down. No I wanted to see her brown eyes looking at me. I needed to see her face. I gently put my index finger under her chin and I looked her in the eyes. Then my gaze caught site of her lovely lips. Wow they looked so kissable and tasty. Yes I needed to kiss her, I needed to devour her.

"I just want to try one thing." My voice was filled with lust. Lust for her.

I pulled my face closer to hers so that I could kiss her without a miss. This would be my undoing, I knew it.

"Hold very still" Then I brushed my lips upon hers. I instantly felt fire run through my body. Her soft wet tasteful lips. It was like kissing heaven, if you could. They were light and plump and she was a great kisser.

She came at me harder assaulting me with her heavenly lips. Pushing harder and harder like she couldn't feel it enough. My body became more inflamed and I pulled her face with my hands to get her as close as I could. I had to stop for a moment. The feeling was engulfing me with lust.

My breathing was erratic and I couldn't function correctly. I couldn't look at her for a moment. I could have dove in and never stopped.

"You don't know how long I have wanted to do that. Not even in my wildest dreams did I ever think it would feel that good." I tried to ease my breathing.

"I know how long I have waited for you, to kiss me. Since the first time I saw you." She whispered it so long, I didn't think I was meant to hear it.

I shot her a look of surprise. I didn't think she felt what I did. I mean she seemed like she had a crush on me, but I figured it was nothing. She never made a move to do anything. But it occurred to me suddenly. I had never seen Bella with any guy, except Newton tonight. She seemed so innocent to me in that moment.

Was I the first guy to do this to her? Had she been waiting all this time for me? I don't know exactly but I kissed her with such a fierce hunger, I doubt anyone could have stopped me. I_ wanted her. She had to be mine._

"OH Bella you are so beautiful, I want you so bad." I whispered in her mouth.

"I want you too Edward, please." She was seductive and begging.

That very moment turned into something more. Yes Bella wanted me to take her, right now! This night had given me more than I bargained for, but I would do anything she asked, anything at all.

But Alice had warned me to stay clear of her. Little did Alice know of my feelings for this sweet girl. But then she stopped me. She pushed her hands to my chest and broke the kiss. Was she afraid I would use her? I never would do it.

"Let me see if Charlie is sleeping and I will sneak you into my room." Her words shocked me. She wanted to have sex, she wanted this, wanted it to be me. Alice's warning rang in my head.

"Edward please don't try to make her your conquest. She is innocent. I don't want her destroyed like all these other girls. Bella couldn't handle it." Alice spoke loudly in my head

She tried to get out and I grabbed the handle once more to stop her.

"Bella are you sure you want this? I don't want to make you do something you don't want to do, especially after before with Newton." I was definitely conflicted.

Then she said the words that I will never forget. "I've never been more sure."

That's all it took for me. She got out the car and ran into her house. I got out needing the air to get my composer About 5 minutes later she arrived back at my car. She grabbed my hand and we quietly made our way up the stairs.

I walked in and she locked the door. No turning back Cullen, take her now! I grabbed her and put my fingers in her hair. I been dying to pull at it and it was so soft and felt wonderful under my fingertips. I pulled her to me and kissed her lightly, making sure she was certain.

No doubt by how nervous she seemed, I knew she never did this before, but I had to ask to be clear.

"Bella is this your first time?" I whispered softly looking in her beautiful eyes.

"Yes" She breathed out heavily.

Could I take her virginity like this? I had to make it special for her. I pulled her into my chest and inhaled sharply into her hair. 'Mm you smell so sweet, like strawberries."

She lifted herself up and kissed my sweetly and began to unbutton my shirt. I did the same and she removed my shirt running her hands across my chest. God it felt so good. I needed to feel her body. I pushed her closer to the bed.

Clothes fell everywhere and I explored her sexy body with my hands and tongue. She tasted of Bella. When I slid deep into her the tightness was wonderful. She moaned into my ear and I slowly gave her what she wanted, _me_.

I spent the majority of the night making her cum over and over again until I realized her father would be awakening soon. He was the chief of police that would not end well for me. I quickly retrieved my clothes and kissed her sweet cheek. I figured that was a romantic gesture.

Before walking out the door I spoke to her."Thank you for tonight Bella, it was the best night of my life by far."

Chapter Notes

Okay this was a little bit more complex to write, hope you like it. Will try to have chapter 6 up by tomorrow. Thank you for everyone who reads, I love you dearly


	6. Chapter 6

Same has always I don't own Twilight or the characters, just my story. ALL HUMAN

**CHAPTER 6 **

(Still Edward's POV )

June 2000

My night with Bella was by far the best night of my life. You couldn't ruin my high if you tried, but with that being said, reality had other plans for me. Through all my blissfulness I had forgotten completely about Tanya. She would be arriving today. _God why now?_

Tanya was a girl I had started dating about a year ago, but I never really bothered to mention her to my family. She wasn't that important to me. However sleeping with her was. She was gorgeous and every guy who was blessed with her presence wanted her. She had strawberry blond hair with crystal blue eyes, fair skin and tall. She could be a model.

My friend's at school had made bets on who could lay her, of course I am always up for a challenge. It was simple. Whoever got her in bed first would receive $5,000. Of course we were all rich, but still it was nice pocket change. First Garret attempted and she basically called the police on him. Reason still unknown. Then Peter, but he ended up falling for her roommate. Next I was up to bat.

Little did I know what a real challenge she would be. I played the gentlemen for the first month, then I tried to change direction. I tried to get her to do more, but she was very set on what she wanted.

She was a virgin. She said the only way she would have sex with me is if we got married. I was only 19 years old, I wasn't ready for marriage, at least not with her. But I had a reputation to uphold and I was going to land her.

So about 6 months go by and still no sex. I was desperate at that point, so I did the unthinkable. I proposed, for ass. Yes I am the world's biggest douche bag ever, I asked her to marry me so I could sleep with her. I was a monogamous kind of guy, not sleeping around. I was pre med you know.

It wasn't just about the sex anymore though. Tanya was a wonderful girl. So smart and funny. I enjoyed being with her,but there was someone else who always resurfaced in my mind. _Bella._

In all fairness, college was my outlet. Bella wasn't here to see me act like a fool. She was back in Forks and I knew I could get away with murder and she would never know. I knew once I got my college experience out of the way, I would search her out and she would be the girlfriend or the wife when I was ready to settle.

Bella was the one you make your girlfriend and one day make a wife. She was not the type of girl you used for sex or played with. No my sweet Bella, I would come for you when it was the right time for us. But my stupidity got the best of me when I asked Tanya to marry me.

I wasn't surprised that Tanya agreed to marry me. She had talked nonstop about what a good husband I would make. Funny enough, she gave me her virginity that very night, but I couldn't bring myself to break it off. I figured I would wait until summer break and end it in time to come home to Forks.

But being overwhelmed with exams and packing to come home, I never found an appropriate time to break things off. And before I knew it, I had invited her to my birthday party. _All Garret's fault_. He slipped up in-front of her mentioning it and she flipped on me when I hadn't mentioned it.

So here we are, remembering she would arrive today to meet mom and dad. I could try to pick a fight with her, _maybe she would leave_? My phone buzzing in my pocket took me out of my deliberation.

It was Tanya.

I seriously wanted to hit the ignore button and leave it like that, but she flew all the way from Florida to be here, I couldn't be that much of a bastard, _could I?_ I flipped open the phone.

"Hey Tay, whats up?" I said forcing myself to be nice.

"Eddie I am at the airport, when are you coming to get me?" Her voice sounded so sweet, but it irritated me at that moment.

I had set up a limo to pick her up days ago because driving back to Seattle wasn't something I looked forward to. Plus I needed to formulate a plan to get rid of her and soon!

"The driver should be waiting for you in the front. His name is Clive." I was trying to be short with her.

"Oh, I thought you were coming to get me?" She sounded very disappointed.

I sighed frustrated. I just wanted to end this damn phone call. "Um I can't, my parents have me doing a million different things." I lied.

"Ooh I see him now! Okay baby, I will see you when I get there. Maybe visit your bedroom." She was trying to be seductive, I think.

"Yea, sure, see ya." I flipped the phone closed.

I had to figure out what to do with her. I wasn't sure if Bella was coming to the party or not. Hopefully Alice hadn't invited her, but then again my parents probably had. I didn't want Bella to see Tanya. I wanted to end things and I would the minute Tanya got here. I would be gracious and let her stay if she wanted to. I would never pay for all the expenses of the trip.

I felt bad plotting on how to break Tanya's heart, but it had to be done in order to not break Bella's. Bella's mattered a hell of a lot more to me than Tanya's ever could.

It was around 5pm when Tanya arrived at my house. My plan was to get her to take a walk with me and I would let her know I wasn't ready for marriage and that I needed my freedom. I would lie through my teeth. I would tell her I cheated, anything to make it so she would want to leave.

But my plan was blown out the water when mom greeted her and stole her away for the entire night! My house was packed with relatives for mine and Caius' party tomorrow. I didn't even get to say a word to her. Mom and Alice just kept distracting her. Grrrrrrr!

It was getting late and I knew Tanya would be very tired, so I had to talk to Alice. I needed to know if Bella would be at the party tomorrow. I needed to make sure. I showed Tanya to my room and let her relax. I exited my room and headed to Alice's.

I knocked and she flung open the door. "Well hello bro, what can I do for you?" She smiled brightly at me.

"Um I was just wondering, um, is Bella coming tomorrow?" I gulped hard trying to hide the tension.

Alice placed a finger to her lips has if thinking very hard. Then she smiled at me. "She was invited, but she mentioned before she left the other night she may have other plans."

I was relieved and a bit irritated. What kind of plans did she have and with who?

"Why Edward?" Alice looked me over suspiciously.

'Just thought Tanya would enjoy her company." I gave her a phony smile.

Alice eyed me strangely and shook her head. "Okay. Night."

Before I could say night to her, the door was already shut. I took in a deep breathe and walked back to my bedroom. I hesitated before opening the door. I was praying Tanya would be asleep. I had a couch in my room, so I would sleep on it. After my night with Bella, I couldn't touch another woman, ever again.

Bella and Tanya were so opposite in many ways. But in the only ways that mattered to me. Bella had my heart, Tanya never would.

But has my luck would have it, she was awake. WIDE awake and naked across my bed, touching herself. My mouth fell open in shock.

"_Oh Edward_, please come help yourself." She purred at me.

I just stared at her and believe it or not, I wasn't turned on by her display. I was quite the opposite, I was repulsed. I tried to speak, but words had lost me and I just turned and walked out my bedroom door.

"There's gotta be one damn room I the whole place nobody else is in." I mumbled to myself.

A lot of family and friends were staying with us because of the party, so even though the house was huge, I couldn't find one damn available place to be alone. I don't know what came over me ,but I jumped in my car and drove.

I ended up in front of Bella's house. I wanted to throw a rock at her window and wake her up. I needed to hear her or see her badly. But it was already 1am and I doubt my presence would be very welcomed. The need to see her was too overbearing, so I did what any sane person does; I climbed up the tree next to her window and slid inside her room.

And there she was in all her beauty. Sound asleep with a lovely smile across her face. I watched her for I don't even know how long, but I realized I should be going before she wakes up or worse, Charlie does.

But before exiting out the window I walked to her bed and kissed her head.

Then whispered in her ear._ "Bella Swan, I am in love with you."_

My back was aching from the position I was sleeping in and I felt pain run through it when I tried to move. When I arrived home around 3am I made my way to the hammock in the yard and fell asleep there. I couldn't face Tanya after seeing Bella, it would be too much.

I made my way into the house and mom was already awake with some of her sisters. Our chef Aro was cooking up different breakfast foods. I grabbed a bagel from the counter and made my way upstairs. I put my ear to my bedroom door to listen for movement, but I didn't hear anything, so I cautiously opened the door to find my room empty. Thank god!

I had my own bathroom attached to my room,thinking Tanya might be in there, but it was empty as well. Maybe she took the hint and left already? But no that would not be the case. I looked out my window which faced the back yard and saw her on the patio with Alice and Caius.

I walked from the window and finished my bagel. Then proceeded to the shower to prepare for the day. After I walked out into my room Tanya was sitting on my bed and all I had on was a towel. She smiled brightly up at me, her lovely face glowed. She was drawing circles with her fingers into my blanket.

"Hey" I gave her a weak smile.

"Hey to you too. Where did you go last night? I was so worried." She stuck her bottom lip out.

"I just wasn't feeling so great so I went to get some air and feel asleep in the hammock."

She smiled again and reached out for me. I hesitantly walked over to her. She had a mischievous look on her face. Next thing I know, she as pulled the towel from my waist and grabs my dick.

She begins to stroke it with her hand and then tries to stick it in her mouth. _This isn't right._

I grasp her hand and step away from her. "My family is here, I can't do that right now." I gave her a pleading look.

"Well try not to make any noise. I can be quiet." She again tried to reach out for me.

"Seriously Tay, stop it." I swatted her hands away.

I walked over to my dresser and pulled out a pair of boxers and slipped them on. I leaned my hands into my dresser, bowing my head, feeling extremely frustrated by Tanya's mere presence. Its like the girl was trying my patience because she came up behind me wrapping her arms around my chest, leaning her head into my back.

"Eddie, whats wrong? You been acting strange since I got here." Her voice sounded so sad.

"I just, I haven't told my family yet." I muttered out.

I thought that would need more explanation, but she took it and walked back to the bed.

"Just give me a minute okay?" I asked her not ever moving from my position.

"No problem, I will just got find your mom." She said and then I heard my door close.

The party was in full swing by 3pm. I found Garret and Peter standing with their dates by the end of the yard. I made my way to them and we just began to chat about what our plans for the summer were. Tanya eventually made her way over to us and stood at my side.

She smiled the sweetest smile up in my direction and proceeded to wrap herself around my waist. I tried to push her off by removing her arms, but she reached up and kissed me instead. I didn't really know how to react and suddenly I realized, this as to end. I briefly noticed Alice talking to Caius, but pointing in my direction.

I pulled Tanya off to the side. "Can you just hang out with Charlotte for a while. I just want to speak to my parents for a minute." She nodded and walked back to our friends.

I walked over to my parents. We began to chat about certain cousin who had arrived and other various things. Mom began to tell me about her niece Irina having another baby when Alice came waltzing over.

"Are you enjoying your party Edward?" She asked swaying back and forth on her feet.

"Umm yes why wouldn't I be?" I smiled confused by her question.

"Oh I don't know. Caius seems to be having a good time as well. Have you spoken to him at all?" She asked innocently.

'No I haven't really seen much of him." I smiled at her.

"I thought I just saw him." She turned holding her chin as she scanned the crowd. "Oh there he is, near the back porch." She grinned hugely at me.

I looked in the direction he was in and the sight before me sent rage into my very soul. He was touching my Bella. I felt the anger rise into my chest immediately and I wanted to rip his arm out of its socket. Who did he think he was. _She was mine_!

The most unthinkable and unbearable thing happened then, _she kissed him!She fucking kissed that son of a bitch. I'm going to break his neck._ Without thought, I moved quickly into the direction of them. Oh this is going to end now.

Has I got closer I could hear them laughing. What the fuck was so funny?

"Whats the joke, because I would love to know what's so fucking funny over here." I clenched my teeth.

Hey Edward, haven't seen you all night cuzo. Have you met my girl Bella?" Caius gestured his hand between them, like she was with him.

Then the asshole had the nerve to kiss my Bella, in-front of me!"Bella, a word?" I wanted to rip him to pieces.

"Yea, I don't think so Edward. Me and my boyfriend were just about to leave so we could be _alone." _Her tone was so clipped and she emphasized on the word alone and wrapped her arm around his.

_What the fuck kind of game is going on here? _

"Yes dear cousin, we were going to take a drive someplace more _private_." Caius was sounding too smug.

"YOUR'E NOT TAKING HER ANYWHERE." I all but screamed at him, trying to give him a fright.

But Caius was a smug bastard. I didn't know what Bella was trying to pull with this guy, but I knew he was just messing with me and he knew it was working, _but how did he know_? Rational thought had left the minute he kissed her lips.

"That's enough! Go and find your blond skank. Edward." She yelled at me and stormed away.

Oh no, she saw Tanya and she must have caught the glimpse of the _kiss_. That's what it was all about. _I'm idiot_.

I yelled her name, but she never bothered to turn around. I couldn't let her get away from me. I couldn't let her leave like this. It had already gotten so dark, I couldn't bare to think of something happening to her. So I ran after her.

"Bella please wait, let me just talk to you for a minute." I needed to catch my breath. I needed to figure out what to say. I know I must have hurt her.

I didn't really expect her to turn around so abruptly and it made me jump.

"What do you want to say to me Edward? _Oh Bella_ I am so sorry for being such a douche bag and taking your virginity and then oops forgot to mention I have a GIRLFRIEND!!!!" She was pissed.

She looked at me annoyed and tried to walk off again, but I grabbed her before she could. I just started spitting things out, saying what i thought would calm her down.

"Look Bella I don't know what you expected. I am sorry your feelings got hurt, but you agreed to sleep with me with no questions asked." There that should help the situation, I thought.

I thought wrong.

Her face looked blank, like she couldn't believe what I just told her.

"W-why did you act so jealous back there, with your cousin? Why did you say being with me was the best thing that ever happened to you?" She was crying. I was hurting her.

"I wasn't jealous that he had you Bella, I just know what a jerk he is and you're so sweet, I didn't want him to hurt you." It was a lie. I was so jealous. Extremely jealous.

"Hurt me? Hurt me? You mean hurt me like you are hurting me right now? What about that night in my room? Did that mean anything to you at all?" She looked at me through long wet lashes. I was breaking her heart.

I pinched the bridge of my nose out of guilt. I was an asshole. She was my whole world and I was too much of a coward to tell her.

"It meant everything" I whispered softly.

Suddenly her arms were around my neck and she was kissing me hard and I gave it right back. Those were the right lips. This was the right body. She was the right girl. I picked her up and secured her body to mine before leaning her up against the tree. I never broke the kiss or the rhythm. She tasted wonderful.

I unbuttoned my pants and quickly tried to remove her panties. She helped me and all at once I was inside her sweet warm body. I needed her so much and I tried to give her the urgency I was feeling, the need to be primal with her. I could feel her orgasm and soon I followed.

I didn't want to remove myself from her wet warm sex, but I was over heated and needed to pull my pants up because they were not helping my balance. I had to tell her the truth, the truth shall set us free, but I knew she would ask. Oh Bella always so curious

"Who was that blond girl Edward? What is she to you? Your girlfriend?" I could hear the pain in her voice.

Again my heart broke. I am killing her sweet soul.

"Bella the blond isn't my girlfriend. She is my fiancee." I twinged in pain, waiting for her response. The truth needed to come out. _Right?_


	7. Chapter 7

Has always I don't own Twilight or the characters, just my interpretation.

Thanks for the love and support, it means so much to me.

**CHAPTER 7**

I had to tell her the truth, I had to explain. I couldn't let her believe I didn't love her, I just couldn't do it. If she knew that it was her, the only one for me, maybe it would turn out right. Who was I kidding? The second I would tell her about the stupid bet, she would be gone. She would think I was nothing but a douche, which is what I was right now.

"How long?" She whispered trying to hold in her tears. I am the world's worst person.

"I proposed two months ago." I couldn't even look her in her face. I couldn't bare to see the pain that would be all over it.

I had to look though, I had to see her reaction. But all I saw was her about to hit the ground and I ran to her side holding her in my arms. Her reaction was what I was fearing.

"DON'T TOUCH ME! DON'T YOU EVER TOUCH ME AGAIN!" She screamed at me and her tears streamed down her lovely cheeks._ What am I doing to her?_

It was time to admit it all, no matter what happens."Bella I am so sorry. I didn't think I would see you and feel this way, but I-" But before I was able to finish I felt such a force invade my face.

She fucking punched me!

"Bella what the fuck?" It hurt like hell and blood was oozing out of my nose.

I was trying to do the doctor thing and hold my nose when I heard a sudden thud behind me. Bella passed out. _Oh no! _It was dark, but we weren't far from my house. I couldn't just leave her there so I carried her as far as I could and I yelled for help once I hit my driveway.

Immediately Carlisle and Esme were in the front of the house. Alice was running to us panicked and yelling at me.

"What the hell did you do to her?" Alice yelled at me.

Then her yelling seized when she saw my face. "Whoa, what _she_ do to _you_?"

"Alice please, not right now. I want to make sure she is okay, she just fainted." I said having no time to explain anything. I was too worried for my Bella.

"Oh no, you will explain why your nose is bleeding and looking awful by the way." She looked at me with her sassy attitude tapping her foot.

"She punched me, okay, happy now?" I was furious.

"Blood make her queasy." Alice stated.

Finally we made it into the house and Carlisle assured me Bella would be fine, she just needed to lay down and once she woke up he would look for a concision. He took me into his office and bandaged up my nose. I don't know where Tanya was and I really didn't care at that point.

About half and hour later I went to check on Bella to see if she was awake. I needed to explain things, I couldn't have her hate me, I just couldn't live with that. I was at Alice's door and stood in the doorway for a minute. She was awake! Thank god!

I awkwardly cleared my throat, but the look of death Bella gave me hurt to my core. Wow she really didn't like me, but suddenly her beautiful face lit up. A smile of sanctification washed over her face. She was proud of the make she left on my face and to tell you the truth, I deserved it.

I couldn't help, but smile slightly at the thought of her little hands causing so much pain. She got a wicked left hook.

"Edward, get out. Nobody in here wants you here, especially me." Alice scolded.

I didn't want to cause her any more pain. I said I was sorry and walked out the door toward my room. Tanya was already asleep on the bed, I took the couch.

The next day Alice asked me to explain this engagement and I told her the truth. The whole truth and nothing but the truth. She was my baby sister and also one of my closest friends. She then threatened me to stay away from Bella. I reluctantly agreed, though I had no plan of doing so.

Then I proceeded to tell Tanya the truth about the bet. Honestly, the girl laughed. She seriously laughed at me. She gave me back my ring and left. It wasn't even like it mattered to her.

The rest of the summer was a blur. Many nights I went to Bella's house and stood there, afraid to knock. I even climbed the tree by her window and watched her sleep. I was definitely a stalker, but if I couldn't be with her, at least I could admire from a far.

It was the night before Alice and Bella would be leaving to go to college. I would be leaving tomorrow in the evening, long after them. Alice mentioned having dinner with Bella that night and I was overwhelmed, I decided to wait at Bella's house for her to finish.

Around 10pm she finally arrived home. I had gotten out the car and leaned on it to get some air. She took one look at me and slammed her car door. _OUCH._

"What do you want Edward?" She was annoyed.

"In all honesty, I don't know." That's all I could come up with. I knew why I was there. I kept running my hands through my hair. Inhaling/exhaling.

"Well if that's your best excuse, I hope you don't mind that I don't plan to stick around for the rest." She tried to walk by me, but I stood in her way.

No Swan you not getting away this time.

I knew what had to be done here, I knew what I had to say. "I didn't mean to hurt you. It was such a mistake."

I was shaking like a leaf. I was so scared to hear what he would reply with.

"The only mistake here is letting myself believe Edward Cullen had a heart." Then he knocked me out of the way and stormed inside.

How do you have a comeback for something like that? She said I don't have a heart? How can she believe that? Well I could see why she would believe that, but she needed to know, my heart bled for her, only her. My heart belonged to her and it was empty without her to fill it.

I paced back and forth for almost an hour outside her house. I wanted to knock, storm right in, but I just couldn't. I was such a fuck up. I had hurt her so much in such a small time frame. She was nothing, but kind and sweet to me and I ruined that, I ruined her.

Realizing she was serious and wasn't caving, I went home.

Carlisle had taken my car to get some maintenance done before I drove it back to Seattle. Dad was always thinking of things like that. I decided to go play my piano. I had been working on a piece all summer. I called it "Dreamless"

That's what my world was like without Bella in it. I was very consumed when I played that I blocked out everything around me. But the sudden jolt to my back and hitting my head into the top of my piano I couldn't ignore.

"OUCH". I yelped out.

I turned quickly to assess my attacker, but never in a million years did I think it would be _her_.

"Um, I tripped sorry." She mumbled under her breath.

I was so happy to see her and I jumped to help her up off the floor.

"I didn't mean to interrupt. I heard you down the hall and it sounded wonderful." She was stuttering. It was so adorable.

"No no it's fine, really. You didn't interrupt anything. It's good to see you Bella." I gave an unknowing smile.

"Well if you will excuse me, I better go back to Alice." She began to walk out, but I couldn't let her. I had missed her so much.

"Please, don't leave yet. I mean I would really like your company for a few minutes at least?" I hoped she would stay.

She shook slightly but took a seat next to my on the bench.

"I was in the middle of finishing the piece you heard before you walked in. What did you think of it?" I looked up at her excitedly. It was for her. I hope she knew it.

"It was lovely." Her smile was shy

"No, no. I mean, how does it make you _feel_?" It's about you love.

"It sounds like a love song." She muttered.

"Something like that." I muttered back.

I played a few more lines, but she didn't speak. She was starting to stand, but I grabbed her arm, pulling her back down. She stared me deep in my eyes and moved her face closer to me, almost brushing my lips with hers. But she didn't. She suddenly stood and all but ran out of the room.

I ran after her. She was in the upstairs hall looking very confused. I wrapped my arms around her and forced her to face me. I crushed my lips to hers and picked her up in my arms. If this was the last time, I needed to make it count. I kicked open my bedroom door and kicked it closed. I placed her on my bed.

I laid my body on top of her and continued my assault on her lips. She was weaving her hands in my hair._ Damn I loved when she did that!_ I tried to remove her clothes, to be closer to her body. I had most of the buttons of her shirt undone when she screamed.

"EDWARD STOP!" She pushed me off her and began frantically buttoning her shirt..

I rolled over and put my head in my hands feeling so frustrated. I couldn't stop hurting her. I saw the look on her face, pain.

"I keep hurting you, don't I?" I was on the verge of my own tears.

She told me to look at her and then she nailed the coffin closed with her final words.

"I can't let you do this to me. I am leaving and I won't be back. I hope I don't ever see you again." With that she walked out of my room.

I had hurt her and I was left devastated. She deserved so much better than me. I could live with it, if she was happy, I could.

I took a few deep breaths and went back to my piano. My piano was my savior.

I headed back to School and when I arrived at my apartment from my hematology class,there was a beautiful girl in front of my door waiting for me.

"What took you so long. I missed you." I whispered into her ear and unlocked the door. With one quick scoop, I had her in my arms and in my bed, completely naked and at my disposal.

Chapter Notes. Next update hopefully tonight


	8. Chapter 8

I had someone not like my Edward POV, but no worries we are back to the present, I just wanted to let everything be known, especially Edward's feelings for Bella. Thank you for the love you guys give me, it warms my heart completely. Has always Twilight is not mine, just my interpretation.

**CHATPER 8**

( 2 years later, 2002 Continued)

Her face was filled with, _embarrassment? _She didn't look hurt or upset, just kind of like uncomfortable. Well that made two of us.

"I, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to irrupt." Tanya stuttered out.

Yup definitely uncomfortable.

"Um I don't know know what to say. God I-" Before I was even able to finish Edward grabbed my hand and squeezed it reassuringly.

"Bella Tanya and I aren't together." He smiled sweetly down at me.

"Yes Bella its true. Me and Ed here are just friends." She smiled widely at me, a genuine smile.

"But she tried to kiss you in the club? I saw it!" I looked at him with questionable eyes.

"You misunderstood Bella." Tanya said still smiling.

"Oh Bella he loves you so much, he never stops talking about you. Its rather annoying." She giggled softly.

I looked at him and he was red in the face. He was the one who was embarrassed.

"You do?" I asked giving him a small smile.

"All the time." She gave me that famous crooked smile.

The smile grew on my face and I leaped at him grabbing his neck and kissing him, making him stumble backwards.

"I think that's my cue to leave." Tanya smiled politely and walked back into the club.

He grabbed the sides of my face with his hands and studied me hard.

"What does this mean for us?" He asked.

Then it hit me, Jake. I had totally lost control and didn't even consider how it would make him feel.

"I don't know. I gotta tell Jake. I can't hurt him Edward." I was now feeling my eyes tear up.

'Shh, baby, we can tell him together if you want." He looked deep in my eyes.

I had to do it alone. I had to tell him myself. "No Edward, I need to tell him alone."

He shook his head in acknowledgment and we walked back into the club. I searched for Jake and hoped he was still with my other friends, but he was no where to be found. I walked over to Alice and Rose, hoping they knew where he was.

"Have you guys seen Jake?" I asked feeling my head pounding.

"He said he needed to use the men's room." Rose said.

I shook my head and walked in the direction of the bathrooms. Edward was standing with Emmett and Jasper.

Has I rounded the corner to where the bathrooms where I could hear Jake speaking to someone, but the other voice was not heard.

"Yes I am with her now. We are at some stupid bar with her friends. I know right? I miss you too baby. Can I stop by after I drop her off? I can't wait to see you in that!" He was trying to sound sexy.

I was blown away for the first time by Jacob Black. Who was on the phone. Oh the rage ran through me and I turned the corner his back was to me. Before he knew what was happening I grabbed the phone out of his hand.

"Whoever you are, you can have him. He got a small dick anyway." I spat into the phone throwing it to the ground.

He looked at me in shock. "Bella let me explain."

I held up my hand to indicate for him to stop speaking. "Jacob I cheated on you with Edward outside. Yup that's right. I kissed Edward Cullen! I plan to fuck his brains out as soon as I leave here tonight. So you and your whore can live happily ever after." I then slapped him in the face, but he grabbed my wrist.

He had an angry glare in his eyes. That sweet look he normally carried with him was no longer there. He was rage.

Jacob's furious voice was suddenly in my ear, hissing out a stream of profanities. I felt a vague disapproval. But of course Edward came to my rescue.

"You better remove your hand or I will remove it for you." He glared at Jake.

He let me go and he began to laugh. He was fucking laughing.

"You know what, take her, she is useless to me anyway." He pushed Edward out of his path and stormed off.

Edward looked like he was ready to rip Jake's head off, but I forced his attention on me. I placed my hands on his chest and he looked down, his features softened.

"Did he hurt you Bella? I will kill him right now!" He inspected my wrist.

'No I am fine, really. Can we leave please?" I wrapped my arms around him holding him close to me.

"Yes we definitely can do that." He kissed my lips softly and then placed a kiss where Jake had grabbed my wrist.

We said our good nights to everyone and Edward called a cab to retrieve us. The first stop was Alice's house. Her and jasper descended the cab, Alice telling me to call her when I made it home. But I knew that was a call I wouldn't be making anytime soon.

When the cab finally pulled out of the Cullen's driveway Edward pulled me onto his lap kissing me deeply.

"Oh I thought he was going to hurt you. I was so ready to kill him." He said between kisses.

"I am good now, please stop worrying." I began sucking his neck.

"Fuck that feels so good baby." He moaned into my ear.

His hands began to trail up my dress. God I missed those hands. He lightly skimmed my thighs and made it to my clit. He rubbed it roughly.

I began to squirm on his lap from the pleasure his fingers were causing."Oh Edward" I moaned taking my hands rubbing down his body.

"Do you remember the last time we made love?" He whispered seductively into my ear moving his finger inside of me.

"Yes" I breathed out.

"I loved when I found you sitting in front of my door and how eager you were to strip for me, so willing so wanting." His voice so velvety and sexy.

I moaned out more. Yes I remember. It was a few days before my classes started freshmen year. He had called me and said only three words and hung up. "I love you". The next thing I knew I was on another long plane ride to the university of Seattle.

I had stopped some students asking if they knew him and one pointed me into the direction of his apartment on campus. I waited nearly 2 hours, but it was worth it. Seeing that breathtaking smile, it was worth every penny I paid to get there.

However I left the next day, realizing that I needed one last time with him and I got it, but that would be it. Now here we were about to do it again, but this time, we would be together and I wasn't going to let anything separate us. Not Tanya, not Jake, not anyone.


	9. Chapter 9

Thank you to all my sweet readers out there. Sorry last chapter was short, but it just needed to be. We are now going to jump ahead and see what our lovely couple has been up-to.

**CHAPTER 9**

(November 2002 Forks, Washington)

I had just arrived home from Port Angeles around 5:30pm. Charlie's cruiser was not in the driveway yet. I guess he is still at the station. I carried my bags into my room. Me and Alice had spent the whole day shopping for an outfit for thanksgiving dinner tomorrow night.

It was the first Cullen Thanksgiving I was attending since I was 12 years old. Since Renee lived in Arizona, I would spend thanksgiving with her and Christmas with Charlie. It was my first one in Forks since then.

The dress Alice picked out for me was plum colored and had puffy sleeves with a loose fitted belt around the waist. It was very sophisticated. I had black heels that would match.

Edward wouldn't be arriving until tomorrow because he had rounds until 10pm tonight, so he couldn't make it until tomorrow, but promised he would be there before I awoke the next day. How he had been so certain, I will never understand.

Charlie arrived home and we had eaten dinner discussing dinner tomorrow with the Cullen family. Dad would be attending dinner with Billy Black and his family down at La Push, which included Jacob.

Oh Jacob. Every time I think about him I get so mad. Since that night in the bar him and I haven't had much communication. He tried to call me tons of times to apologize, to explain, but I didn't really want to hear it. I even had the unfortunate luck to see him at school, but avoided him like the plague. After the school year was over I would be transferring to University of Seattle to be closer to Edward anyway.

After dinner I cleaned up and the doorbell rang. I got over excited cause I thought it would be my Edward, who I hadn't seen since the end of October. But it definitely wasn't Edward. It was Jake.

I opened the door with hesitation and scowled at him. "What do you want Jacob?"

"Hey Bells, how are you?" He smiled at me

"What do you want?" I was getting annoyed.

"I came to get something from your dad." He smiled weakly at me.

Without a second glance in his direction I called for dad and walked up the stairs to my room. He had some nerve acting like we were cool when we most certainly were not.

I could hear dad and him talking then I heard the front door close. I rolled my eyes and decided it was time for sleep.

The next morning came and I was awakened by strong warm arms wrapped around my body. I carefully opened my eyes to be greeted with bright green ones.

"Hey." His sweet velvety voice said.

"Hey". I said sleepy.

"When did you get here and how did you get in?" I asked rubbing his cheek.

"Through the window. I hope you don't mind." He gave me that glorious crooked smile I missed so much.

"I don't mind at all, actually you can do it anytime if it means I get to wake up with your arms wrapped around me." I kissed his sweet lips.

"I missed you Bella, so much." He brushed my cheek with his finger tips.

"I missed you too." I mimicked his move.

"Can I show you how much I missed you?" He gave me a mischievous smile.

I just smiled back at him and his assault began.

He started by removing my tee shirt. I slept without a bra so I was bare underneath. Then he slowly laid kisses on my neck, biting ever so softly. I moaned from the feeling. "Mm that feel nice".

He continued to my breasts and fondled them in his hands. " I missed these the most." He looked at me with a devious expression and took one nipple in his mouth.

I nearly convulsed right there! What a mouth on that man! I had missed him. It had been almost 2 months since we last had sex and sex with Edward Cullen was like food and water. Essential and necessary.

I pushed his face up to look at me only to beg him for what I wanted most. "Edward just fuck me already." I was panting.

All he had to do was look at me and I was ready for him. Just a stupid look. I hope it never changed.

"Impatient aren't you?" He smiled at me, but his lust was written in his eyes. His erection prominent.

He continued to tease me with his tongue all the way down to my core. "Mm you are always so wet and ready, aren't you?"

"Only for you." I moaned

He chuckled. God he chuckled and it was turning me on! He then lightly licked my clit and I jumped off the bed from the feeling. He chuckled even more.

"I love how ready you get for me. I love how wet your pussy is and how good you taste on my tongue." He licked me some more.

"Oh god Edward, do it faster please!" I was begging.

"As you wish my love." He swirled and licked and bit at my clit.

I was coming undone, I was so close and then he slid his finger inside me. He moved it in time with the rhythm of his tongue and before I even realized it my orgasm was coming.

'EDWARDDDDDD" I screamed so loud I think my neighbors could hear it.

He was already deep inside me before I never came back down from my high and he filled me with his huge member. Thrusting hard.

"Oh fuck Bella, I missed how you felt. Damn you are so tight." He moaned into my ear.

I grabbed at his hair and wrapped my legs around his back. I knew that always made him cum.

"I need you to cum for me 2 times more times for me Bella before I cum.. I love how your orgasm feel around me." He growled into my ear and with that orgasm number 2.

"Do you know how fucking sexy and beautiful you are." He then kissed me hard and passionately while never breaking his hard thrusts.

"God Edward, I love you so much, you feeling so fucking good." I moaned out

"Bella I love you too, god I want you forever." He whispered in my ear.

Yup orgasm number 3.

"Damn Bella, I love when you cum." And with one last thrust he came undone.

We both laid there before he pulled out and rolled on his side.

"Bella Swan, you're my forever." He smiled at me dreamily while rubbing my cheek.

"Well Mr. Cullen you're my everything plus forever." Trying to show all the love I had in a simple kiss.

After laying there in his arms for a while we made our way down the stairs. "Want some breakfast?" I offered.

'Sure, you have eggs?" He asked with a smile.

I nodded and went to the fridge to retrieve the eggs and some bacon. I began getting out a frying pan when I heard him let out a frustrated sigh.

I turned to face him and noticed a vase of red roses sitting on the corner by the sink. I had no idea where they came from and figured dad bought them for me, but the look on Edward's face said otherwise.

He was holding a card in his hand and looked at me with an accusing look.

'When were you planning on telling me?" He looked pissed.

"Tell you what Edward?" I looked confused at him.

"You're kidding right?" He said in a sarcastic tone.

"So Jacob Black can buy you flowers and I am supposed to be okay with it?" He threw the card on the table and I picked it up.

"Honestly Edward I had no idea where the flowers came from." I said.

I picked the card off the table and read what it said.

_Dear Bella, _

_I still love you and we need to make this right. My life is not the same without you in it._

_Love always,_

_Jake_

I felt my face burn red with frustration and I tore the card up into little pieces, Then I proceeded to pick up the vase of roses and dump it into the garbage.

I looked over to Edward who looked defeated and walked in front of him placing his hands around my waist.

"I'm sorry I freaked out, its just I don't want to lose you again." He smiled weakly at me.

"You will never lose me Edward, I will always be yours, I belong with you." I kissed him softly then our stomachs growled in unison.

We both laughed and I went back to cooking breakfast.

Edward had left hours ago and I was fresh out of the shower getting ready for thanksgiving dinner. He had planned to come back to pick me up since he didn't trust my truck. He actually offered to buy me a brand new car. But that just seemed extreme to me, so I declined.

I put moose through my wet hair and crunched it a bit and put on my dress. By the time I was finished I could hear Edward's car pull up outside. Charlie had left about 20 minutes earlier to go to La Push and I told him I would meet him there for dessert.

I heard Edward walk in and I grabbed my purse off my dresser and headed down the stairs.

"Wow, you look amazing Bella." He wore a beautiful smile on his face reaching his hand out for me to take.

"You look gorgeous as always." I smiled at him. He wore a white shirt with a red striped tie and a black jacket with black pants. His shoes were rather shiny. He was dazzling.

"Shall we he said holding his arm out for me to put my hand around." He gave me the crooked smile.

He opened the car door for me and we sped off in silence. For some reason he looked rather nervous. I watched him run his hands through his hair about 5 times and he kept adjusting his tie.

Ed, are you okay? You don't look so good." I asked with concern.

"I'm fine, why wouldn't I be?" He was sweating.

I just stared at his weirdness and let it go. We made it to his house and there were a few cars parked in the driveway. He opened the door and we stepped inside. It was about 5pm.

There were many faces surrounding the Cullen's house chatting. I walked over to Jasper and Alice and greeted them. Esme came in the room and gave me a huge hug.

We all sat down for dinner and Edward sat on the right of me while their 92 year old aunt Gretchen sat on my left. Edward rested his hands on my knee rubbing it lightly. At first it seemed innocent as I spoke to his mother, but then I felt his hand go higher up my thigh. I jumped a little and Esme eyed me funny.

I just laughed it off but eyed him accusingly. He smirked and shrugged and continued what he was doing. His fingers gently grazed the front of my panties and he leaned over to whisper in my ear.

"Go take" rubbing his hand across the front of my laced covered clit "these off now." His voice sure seduction.

Holy fucking hell! That turned me on! I got up abruptly and excused myself. I walked down the hall to the bathroom and closed the door. I quickly removed the black lace panties and tried to figure what I would do with them when I heard a knock on the door.

"Um I'm in here." I said frantically trying to figure out what to do.

"I know you are, can I come in?" It was Edward.

I walked over and unlocked the door and he stepped inside. He stuck his hand out I assumed for me to give him the garment. I put them in his hands and he did the most fucking sexiest thing ever, _he smelled them! _I nearly came just watching him raise them to his nose and inhale closing his eyes.

When he opened those green pools lust filled them rims. He took the panties and stuck them in his pants pocket and smirked deviously at me. "Lets go back now."

He followed behind me and we took our seats. His Aunt Gretchen began to tell me about her knitting class when Edward's hand returned to my thigh, but much higher this time. I squeaked out my reply when his finger rubbed between my very wet folds.

"Dear are you okay, you seem squeamish" Gretchen eyed so suspiciously

"I've never been better."Squeak.

He had inserted one finger and had his thumb massaging my clit in front of a table of 12 people! He was talking across the table to his uncle about medical school. The look of complete innocence on his face. Then he inserted another and I nearly fell off my chair.

"If you don't sit still the whole table will know that I am fucking you with my fingers, then I will have to punish you later." His voice sexy as hell.

I just lost my breath at his comment. "Is that a promise?" I panted softly

He shook his head and grinned at me. "Always so eager, its turns me on."

Nobody seemed to notice what was going on under the table. He pushed his fingers in deeper and moved them faster while his thumb never seized its assault on my clit. Yes I was about to cum and he knew it.

"I want you to cum all over my fingers Bella in front of all these people." He whispered and that's all it took. I lost it. The world faded around me and all that existed was Edward.

His lips met mine softly while my orgasm came crashing and he quickly removed his hand from my thighs. I opened my eyes to be greeted my his smile.

Then I watched him stick both fingers in his mouth, wow.

Dinner had been eventful to say the least and it was almost time for me to head to La Push. We all had went into the Cullen's living room. I was standing by the fireplace talking with Alice when Edward walked in with Carlisle. They both had looks of guilt on their faces and Edward walked over to me.

He took my hands in his and gave me a beautiful dazzling smile. "Isabella Marie Swan. I promise to love you for every minute of forever." With that he was down on his knee.

I looked at him in shock. I suddenly couldn't breathe. _What was he about to do?_

"Will you marry me?" He held out a black velvet ring box. The ring on the inside was a beautiful solitaire diamond. At least two carrots.

I felt the tears slide down my cheeks. This beautiful perfect man wanted to marry me and asked me in front of his entire family. I looked over at Alice with a panicked look on my face and she was beaming, they all were.

I looked back to Edward. His flawless beautiful face looking at me lovingly.

"No" Is all I could say and I heard everyone gasp and saw his beautiful face turn into surprise and hurt.


	10. Chapter 10

Thank you to all the people we have read my story and reviewed, much appreciated. Hope you enjoy my story and twilight is not mine, just my interpretation.

**CHAPTER 9**

(Thanksgiving 2002)

"Bella? Earth to Bella?" Came his sweet velvety voice from beneath me.

"Huh?" I said coming out of my daze.

He was still kneeling in front of me with the ring box in his hand. I looked around the room and all the faces were smiling. I didn't really say no, I was imagining I did. _Oh thank god!_

I quickly got myself together. "Yes Edward I will marry you." I let the tears fall down my face and his beautiful smile beamed at me.

He took my finger and slid the ring on my hand and everyone applauded. He took my face in his hands and kissed me softly.

"You made me the happiest man alive." He whispered into my ear and he held me.

Everyone began to congratulate us. Both Alice and Esme both started talking a mile a minute about wedding dresses, venues, flowers, braid maids. All I could do was laugh. Finally Edward rescued me from his family and we said our goodbyes.

I needed to get to La Push, but I was a little reluctant after what just happened. We drove in silence most of the way. He picked up my hand and kissed the top of it softly.

"What was going through your head when I asked you to marry me?" He asked smirking curiously.

I looked at him and smiled. "I was wondering what your face would have looked like if I said no."

His face immediately turned into a disappointed stare. "Oh. Did you want to say no?"

"Edward, of course not. I waited my whole life for you. I had dreamed of you asking me that for so long. I just never thought I would ever have you." I tried to reassure him.

"Bella, you are everything to me. My life is not worth living if you are not in it. God to think of someone else being with you, I can't bare it." He squeezed his eyes shut and shook off the terrible feeling it brought him.

"I am _yours_, forever, remember?" I gave his hand a gentle squeeze.

"Good." He continued to drive.

I had invited Edward to come with me to the Black's house, but he politely excused himself and said he would call me later. I knocked on the door of the tiny house and Jacob swung it open with a huge grin on his face.

"Hey, is Charlie still here?" I smiled weakly at him.

"Yea, we were just about to have pie. You look great Bella. Did you like the roses?" He smiled brightly

"I wish you hadn't sent them, Edward was very upset about it." I said pointedly and brushed past him into the house.

I joined Jacob's sister Rachael at the table. She smiled at me. "Wow Bella that's a beautiful rin-" But she then see's the pleading look on my face. She winces in apology, but I smile reassuringly at her, letting her know its okay.

"Yes Bells, that is some ring." Charlie narrows his eyes at me.

I feel my self go red. This wasn't how I wanted to tell him, I wanted to do it in private.

"Um yea dad, Edward proposed at dinner and I accepted." I smiled warily at him.

He was silent, but all you heard when I was finished was Jacob from behind me. "No" He whispered so low I don't think I was meant to.

"Are you pregnant?" Was all Charlie could say and I immediately felt myself become upset.

"No dad of course not. He loves me and just wants us to be together." I tried to not sound mad, but damn it I was!

"Don't you think you both are a little young to be getting married so soon? I mean you haven't even finished school and you both live so far from each other." He was making excuses.

"I planned on finishing my last year in Seattle at the university. Me and Edward have been discussing it for months." I said nonchalantly.

'_Months_ Bells? When did you plan to let _me_ know? What when you were already living _here_?" You could hear the hurt in his voice.

"No dad I was going to tell you before I went back to school. I just don't want to talk about this right now." I was feeling uncomfortable in front of all these people.

"Oh Bella, we are talking about it now. Has long as I am paying for your education, you will stay at Dartmouth. And as long as you live under my roof, you will abide by my rules." He looked furious

"Well with that being said, I don't need you to pay for anything and I won't be under your roof anymore." With that I walked out of the Black's house with tears streaming down my face.

I began walking and I knew Charlie well enough to know he wouldn't follow or protest. I am sure he felt hurt. I pulled my phone out of my purse and dialed up Edward, but before I could hit the call button a big hand hovered over the phone.

"Jake, please just let me go." I was upset and not in any mood for him right now.

"Bells, you are mad, you can't leave things like that with him. He is just upset." He tried to bargain with me.

"You think that makes it okay? Like you have any room to talk. You cheated on me the whole time we were together Jake!" I was yelling now.

"I can't take it back, I was an idiot. She just made me feel like I was special, like she really wanted me in ways you didn't." His expression was pained.

"Then you should've broke up with me when you figured that out." I rolled my eyes at him.

"Bella you are such a hypocrite. Our whole relationship I felt like I wasn't dating just you, I was also dating Edward Cullen without even knowing it. But you think I'm some idiot who didn't figure that out right? That I couldn't tell the second he walked in that bar how much he really did mean to you? It was written all over both your faces." He glared at me.

"You cheated first Jake." I needed to get away from him, NOW!

"It doesn't matter anymore what happened. We both messed up, but Bella he is not the one for you. He doesn't deserve you!" He was trying to grab my hand, but I pulled mine away.

"He is the only man for me. Nobody can tell me different, so if you will excuse me I need to call my soon to be husband." I walked away and he didn't follow.

I called up Edward. "Come and get me from La Push." Was all I could get out without sounding like an sobering idiot.

"I'm on my way." Was he said and the phone went dead.

About 10 minutes later he appeared and got out of the car. I walked to him immediately and wrapped my arms around him sobbing into his chest.

"Oh Edward this has been an awful night. I fought with Charlie then Jake tried to argue with me too. I just need to get out of here." I cried into him.

"You want to come home with me love?" He rubbed comforting circles into my back.

"Yes. I have no where else to go." I held him tighter.

"Why would you say that? Not that I would ever complain about taking you with me." He kissed the top of my head.

"I told Charlie about school and he freaked out. He said as long as I live in his house I have to abide by his rules and if I want to finish out in Seattle, he wouldn't pay for it." I couldn't control my crying at all.

"Oh baby, I will take care of everything. Don't worry. C'mon on lets go back to my house and talk to my parents." He kissed my forehead and opened the passenger door for me.

He held my hand the entire way to his house. When we made it inside Esme and Carlisle were in the kitchen cleaning up.

"Mom, dad, we need to talk." Was all Edward said and Esme looked at us with concern.

"What's wrong son?" Carlisle asked putting his hand on Edward's shoulder.

"Lets go sit in the living room, okay?" Esme said in her sweet motherly voice hugging me close to her.

We all sat down. Esme and Carlisle were on one couch across from me and Edward.

Edward took a deep breathe and proceeded to tell his parents what happened with my dad.

"So I was wondering if you guys could help." Edward sighed.

"Of course we will. We love Bella like she is our own. We would do anything for her." Esme beamed.

"Bella whatever you need, you know you can always ask us." Carlisle smiled at me.

Esme walked over to me and I stood giving her a big hug.

"You have had an interesting day, haven't you? Go upstairs and find Alice. She would love to see you." Esme kissed my cheek and I nodded.

I looked at Edward for permission and he nodded as well and I took for the stairs. I could hear them talking to Edward, but I couldn't make out the words. I went to Alice's room and she was sitting on her bed watching TV.

"Hey my soon to be sister, what are you doing here at this hour?" Alice smiled at me.

"I have had the night from hell!" I flopped down on her bed and put my head on her shoulder.

"Tell me what happened. What did Edward do now?" She looked at me sternly.

"Not Edward, Charlie." I said feeling tears begin to form.

I explained everything to her and she listened. She gave me some pj's and offered to let me stay in her room, but I knew Edward would not be having that. I gave her a hug and thanked her for listening.

I walked out of the room to find Edward drying his wet head and a towel wrapped around his waist. Definitely Adonis I thought to myself. He smirked at me like he knew what I was thinking.

"Do you like what you see there soon to be Mrs. Cullen?" His crooked smile was all it took for me to turn to jello.

"No!" I said teasingly.

His face fell a little.

"I love what I see soon to be husband." I walked over and wrapped my arms around his waist pulling the towel off and running to his room.

"Ooh that was so wrong." He yelled chasing after me.

He of course caught me before I even made it to his bed. He was always such a fast runner. He caught hold of my waist and flung me on the bed.

He pushed himself on top of me and smiled devious down at me.

"What are you thinking?" I said putting my arms around his neck.

"How lucky I am to have you." He smirked then kissed me and I was done.

After we made love he pulled me into his warm embrace.

"Thank you." He whispered into my hair.

I prompted myself up on my elbow to get a good look at his face."For what?"

"For saying yes and for loving me. I know how hard that must be at times." His face looking a little tense.

I put my head back on his chest." Don't thank me until I say I do and the loving you part, its the only thing I know how to do right." I sighed and kissed his lips.

"You do it perfectly Bella, perfectly." He kissed me back and we both drifted off to sleep.


	11. Chapter 11

Thank you for reading, as always twilight does not belong to me, only my story line. We are jumping in time again. Now its 2 years later. Also the venue for their wedding is an actually place but I will say its in Seattle ,but actually its in California.

**CHAPTER 11**

(May 2004)

**Bella's POV**

I waited in line. I think I had fixed the tassel on my cap 5 or 6 times already. My nerves were killing me. I just wanted to get the diploma already and be done with this. I looked out into the crowded field and saw thousands of people. How would I ever spot him in all those people? But if I knew Edward, he would definitely make sure he was noticed.

Finally it was my turn as they called my name. I walked slow in fear of tripping in front of all these people, but I was graceful for once in my whole life. I took the diploma, shaking Dean Webster's hand and turned to show the audience. I turned to see Edward beaming with pride in the front row along side his parents and mine.

It was over and I walked over to everyone. My dad was the first to congratulate me, then my mom,Esme, and Carlisle. Finally my Edward.

"Congrats baby, I am so proud of you." he kissed my lips softly.

"Let me take some pictures!" Esme sang

Alice would meet us at our house because her flight had been delayed. She had graduated 2 weeks prior, but had to finish packing up her apartment. Jasper and Alice had gotten engaged about 3 months ago. She insisted we have a double wedding, which didn't bother me, but we soon learned Alice didn't want to share her spotlight and we continued with the original plan.

Edward had bought us a condo when I moved to Seattle last spring. It was nice. It had a kitchen, 2 bathrooms, 3 bedrooms large living and dining room, plus a study and a 2 car garage. He said it would do until we got married, which would be in the next 2 weeks.

After that night in La Push with Charlie's outburst, he had phoned me to apologize and he congratulated me on my engagement and said he would pay for my education no matter where I decided I wanted to go. I was glad things didn't turn out bad, I couldn't imagine my life without my dad in it.

We had a small party at our condo and it was nice. Emmett, Rose, Jasper, and Alice all attended. My parents had headed back with Edward's to Forks about 2 hours ago. It was now around 11:30pm and everyone else was just now leaving.

After cleaning up from the party I was exhausted. Edward was in the study typing on his laptop. I stood in the doorway looking at him deep in concentration. It was hard to believe that in less than 2 weeks I would be this amazing man's wife.

He had given me so much, but the only thing he gave that mattered to me the most was his love and his heart. Those were things no other woman would have, only me.

I never understood how I could be enough for this man. I was plain, nothing special about me. But he loved me. Yes he had hurt me before, but we were younger then. We had become different now, better. I was so lost in my thoughts I didn't even notice him in front of me.

"Hey, you ready for bed?" He smiled down at me.

I just smiled back at him and stood on my tip toes and kissed him deeply. He grabbed me tight and pulled me up to his level. We stood there kissing for a few minutes until we both needed some air.

"Whoa, what did I do to deserve that?" He smirked at me leaning his forehead to mine.

"You love me so much, don't you?" I looked at him with wonder in my expression.

"Unconditionally Isabella, always. Never question my feelings for you." His smile was breathtaking.

"Let's go to bed okay? You have had a long day." He grabbed my hand and led me to our room.

I went into the bathroom to brush my teeth and when I returned he was sound asleep on the bed. I just stared at him for a minute and felt in awe. This beautiful man was mine and I would be his wife Life was good.

I smiled and got under the covers and wrapped my arms around him and automatically he wrapped his around me. We were facing each other and I softly stroked his cheek.

"I love you always Edward." Then I kissed his cheek and closed my eyes.

I woke up early the next morning and Edward was already gone for his morning run. I went to use the bathroom and headed to the kitchen to prepare breakfast. I made Edward's after run protein shake and headed into the study to use the computer to look up a last minute detail for the wedding. What I didn't expect was to see a word document left open by Edward.

I wasn't trying to be nosy, but before I was about to close it I noticed the name of the document, _wedding vows_. That's all I needed to see and with that the curiosity of what he had written burned so deep inside of me. He could walk in at any minute and would it be wrong of me to intrude on his privacy? I could wait two weeks couldn't I?

But before I could even answer my own question the front door opened and I bolted out of the room.

Two weeks had flew by quicker than I ever could have imagined. It was the night before our wedding. Me and Edward would getting dressed for our rehearsal dinner. The wedding was being held at the Grand Tradition Estate. We would say our vows outside by the lake and have our reception indoors. The weather was promising for clear sunny skies.

For the rehearsal dinner I wore a simple black cocktail dress and my hair was pulled back n a bun. Edward had on a black suit with a black shirt. His top three buttons were undone. He looked fucking sexy. I walked over to him as he fussed with his messy hair.

I grabbed at his hair and pulled his face to mine. I kissed him hard and deep. I kept my hold on his hair while I felt him wrap his arms around my waist.

"Why are you always tempting me woman?" He muttered between kisses.

"Its only tempting you if you were resisting, which you never do." I pushed him back in the wall.

"Damn Bella, we have to go, you can't do this to me now!" He growled pulling me closer.

I tried to unbutton the rest of his shirt but he grabbed my wrists. "We got 15 minutes to make it there, lets not be late to our own dinner." He chuckled.

I just pouted at him and let go. He smiled sweetly at me and kissed my forehead. I grabbed my purse and we headed to the reception hall.

We practiced our walk down the aisle and everyone's positions. After about 3 hours of practicing we finally were ready to enjoy the rest of the evening. Emmett and Jasper were taking Edward out for his bachelor party. They promised that they wouldn't give me a hung over groom and I promised them if they did they would be missing some body parts they have grown attached to.

I was staying at a hotel close to the venue with Alice and Rose. We decided to hit up a local bar for a couple of drinks. My last night as a single woman.

We arrived around 10:30pm at this bar called "New Moon". The music was good and the drinks were even better. Alice decided we should dance.

"Alice dancing is no good for the uncoordinated." I tried to get out of it.

"Oh Bella, stop it you are not that bad." She whined.

"Who are you lying to." I heard Rose mumble under her breath.

"I might hurt someone Alice." I complained.

But of course Alice pouted and I lost. I always fell victim to her. We began to sway to Kelis' milkshake song. I was feeling good off the drink in my hand that I didn't even care anymore that my rhythm was probably way off. I felt a pair of arms wrap around my waist pulling me into them.

"Well what is the likeliness of seeing you tonight of all nights. The night before you marry _Edward Cullen?"_ The bitterness rolling off his tongue.

**Edward's POV**

Emmett decided that it would do us all some good if we go to a strip club. I knew this was a bad idea the second he mentioned it and I knew Bella would kill me for even agreeing. Jasper always the more rational of the two decided what a bad idea that would be.

"Are you two that pussy whipped, your girls won't even let you have a little fun?" Emmett scoffed at us.

"Why sit around sticking dollars down some random chicks underwear when you can have your own girl strip for you for free?" Jasper said rolling his eyes.

"I agree." I joined in.

"Whatever, you are both pussy whipped." He mumbled.

We ended up at a bar called "Flash." It was small but all I wanted to do was have a few drinks and call it a night. Since really I only wanted to be with Bella, but the traditional rules were not seeing the bride before the wedding.

We found a table and a waitress named Jane came over and asked our orders. When she asked for my order I couldn't help but notice how she leaned in more to show me her already bulging out of her top cleavage.

"And what can I get for _you sexy_?" Jane purred.

I gulped really hard. "I'm getting married tomorrow." Was all I could get out.

Emmett smacked me on the back and chuckled. "He will have a beer."

Jane winked at me before walking away. I never felt so uncomfortable in my whole life.

"Bella could beat her ass in a fight." Emmett nodded confidently

"What are you talking about?" I blurted to him

"Dude she was so coming onto you. I think it made her more wet when you said you were getting married. What the hell do you do to these chicks?" Emmett chuckled.

But before I could reply Jane returned placing our drinks on the table. She brushed her boobs up against my arm while setting my beer down

. "Anything else I can do for you?" She smiled seductively at me.

"Just keep them coming." Emmett belted out.

So about 8 beers and 4 tequila shots later we were all pretty wasted. I knew that Bella would kill me if I showed up at the alter hung over, so I needed to remedy this problem quickly. Nothing helped a drunk like food.

We walked about half block down to "Lu Lu's Diner". It was around 2:30am. I would have time to sleep because the actually wedding didn't start until 3pm.

The hostess walked us over to a booth in the corner and handed us our menus.

"Dude I can't believe you and Bella are getting hitched in a few hours." Emmett shook his head from behind his menu.

"I can and I can't wait. She's the one Emmett. I knew it from the first time I looked at her when she turned 16." I smiled at the memory.

"You knew that long ago? How old were you? Like 16 yourself?" Jasper asked puzzled.

I laughed at him. "I was 17. I remember it was summer and she was by the pool with Alice. I hadn't seen her in a long time because she was living in Arizona."

"That's right, I had forgotten about that." Emmett smiled to himself

I took in the memory for a moment. Yes I had just got home from football practice and I found Alice by the pool with a dark haired girl laying out on a purple beach towel. She had on a blue flowery bikini. I called to Alice and the girl looked up and I caught my breath. She was gorgeous and then she smiled at me. I was done for.

Alice asked if I remembered Bella and I did but she looked completely different to me now. All I thought was I want to marry her, which for a 17 year old, that is an unheard of thing.

"Well man, I think you and her are the perfect pair." Jasper said.

"Thanks man." I padded his shoulder.

We started ordering our food when someone approached our table.

"Well hello there handsome, long time no see." Sparkling blue eyes looked down at me.

"Tanya, wow look at you. Yes it has been along time." I got up out of my sit to hug her.

She looked stunning as she always did. "You guys remember Tanya right?" I asked to Jasper and Emmett.

"Yes yes how are you?" They both asked her.

"Um would you like to join us?" I asked politely.

"Sure, is that okay with them?" She asked quizzingly.

Both of them agreed and she took a sit next to me

"So Tanya did Eddie boy tell you he's getting married in a few hours?" Emmett blurted out.

I gave him the look of death. He knew that I had proposed to Tanya and I didn't want to hurt her further than I probably already did. Her face fell a little and I felt like punching Emmett at that moment.

"I read it in the Times a few weeks ago. Congrats. You and Bella make a lovely couple." You could tell how insincere it was.

"Yes thank you." I glared at Emmett and he just shrugged his shoulder.

We talked for what seemed like 20 minutes but Jasper politely let me know it was now 4am. Tanya mentioned her apartment was a few blocks away and was going to walk alone, but I offered to walk her.

Emmett and Jasper were totally against, offering to pay for a cab, but it was a nice night and I was still a little drunk. The cool air could do me some good. I told the guys to meet me back at the hotel. Reluctantly they both left without me.

Me and Tanya strolled in silence for a few minutes until she pulled at me arm to get me to stop.

"Edward there is something I need to tell you." Her blue eyes began to glaze over.

"Tay, whatever it is, its okay, you know you can tell me anything." I said grabbing her face staring in her sad eyes.

"When I read the article about you getting married, I was so heartbroken. I'm still in love with you." Tears spilled down her cheeks

I wiped her tears with my finger and pulled her into my chest.

"I never meant to hurt you. Please understand I was not the same guy then. You were special to me, please know that." I tried to comfort her

She hugged me hard while I rubbed her head and the next thing I knew she was leaning up and kissing me! Not a sweet oh thank you kiss. No I love you and want to fuck you right now kiss.

I don't know what came over me, but I kissed her back. I pushed her body up against the building we were standing next to. She dug her hands deep into my scalp and I remembered stopping Bella earlier for doing that.

_What was I about to do?_


	12. Chapter 12

Thank you to everyone who has read my story. It means a lot to me. We are now going to jump to the wedding. The vows were poems I found on the internet. I recently just got out of a messed up relationship, so trying to write wedding vows was kind of painful for me. I want to give the credit to the authors Dorothy R. Colgan & Kit McCall um

**CHAPTER TWELEVE**

(June 2004)

I was ready. There were no worries or doubts clouding my mind. I was certain. Alice and Rose were fussing over my veil while I sat at the vanity trying to be calm.

My mother Renee came over to my side and hugged me tightly from behind so that we were both facing forward.

"Oh Bella, you look so beautiful. I can't believe you are getting married. Baby you are so grown up." Mom's voice was full of pride.

I looked at our reflection in the vanity mirror and I smiled brightly. It reminded me of how much I had grown. I remembered sitting on her lap in front of a mirror similar to this one and she would play dress up with me.

"Edward is a good man honey, I know he will take good care of you." Mom gave me one last squeeze.

"I know he is mom, he is the only man for me." I smiled at the thought

Thinking back to how everything came full circle for us, this was meant to be. I could never love anyone as much as I loved Edward. Not even Jacob. I was so wrapped up in my thoughts I hadn't heard the commotion from the other side of the room.

"Edward you can't come in here, its bad luck to see the bride before the wedding." Alice squealed.

"Alice, please, I need to talk to her. It can't wait." He sounded very anxious.

I got up from the vanity and walked over to the door. "Bella, don't open it. Its bad luck for him to see you." Alice whined.

"Bella, please I need to speak to you." Edward was pleading.

"Hey , guys could you give us a moment alone, please?" I asked everyone.

They were wary at first, but eventually left the room. I allowed Edward in, as long as he had his eyes shut.

I had to laugh at the site of him coming in the room. He was holding one hand over his eyes while the other felt around for the wall. I must admit though, he looked incredible in his tux.

"Edward what was so urgent it couldn't wait until we said I do?" I said giggling at him

"I kissed Tanya." He blurted out.

My smile went to a frown in no time flat.

"W-what did you say?" I stuttered in disbelief.

His face flashed with a regretful expression.

"Bella I am so sorry. I was drunk and she needed someone to walk her home and she kissed me and I kissed her back. But I pushed her away, I swear to god!" His voice was breaking.

I needed to sit. I couldn't catch my breath. The room was spinning. Was he serious? We were supposed to be walking down the aisle in 15 minutes and he springs this on me.

He drops to his knees in front of me trying to grab my hands.

"Please say something baby, please." He was rubbing my hands

"All you did was just kiss her?" Was all I could say.

"Yes Bella, oh god yes. It felt so wrong and not right and I am so sorry. I couldn't marry you without telling you." You could hear how choked up it made him

"Okay." I sighed

'"Okay what?" He was searching for what I meant.

"I need a minute. Can you get out please." I needed to think.

"But Bella, are you still going to marry me?" He sounded like a wounded child.

"Edward, please leave. I need a minute." He wouldn't budge.

Finally I got up and turned him so he was facing the door and softly pushed him out of the room.

"Bella, please." He was begging now.

"You will know my answer in 15 minutes, if I decide to meet you on the other end of the aisle." With that I slammed the door in his face and walked over to the couch.

It was only a kiss. We had built a perfect life together up til this moment. I wasn't going to let Tanya ruin it for me. He was mine and I suspected that she would have done anything to tear us apart. She could play friend all she wanted, but in the end we all knew she wanted him still.

I got it together and made my way to my father. "everything okay Bells?" He whispered in my ear.

"Yup. Lets get this show on the road." I said.

First the bridesmaids made they way down, then the wedding march began. Me and Charlie entered the room and I could see the relief rush across Edward's beautiful face.

I knew in that moment, Tanya definitely put the moves on him. He would never do that to me. She was trying to cast doubt and I would not be having it. Edward loved me, that much I knew.

We made it to the end of the aisle and I could see tears in Edward's beautiful green eyes. My dad handed me off to him and kissed my cheek. Then took his seat beside my mom.

I took my tiny hand and wiped the tears from Edward's eyes. He lifted the veil from my face and a magnificent smile spread over his lips.

He then leaned into me and whispered in my ear. "You look so beautiful baby."

The judge went over the usual statements . "The couple as chose to write their own vows. Edward, you first." Judge Harper gestured with his hand for Edward to speak.

Edward cleared his throat before pulling out the index card from his jacket pocket.

"Isabella Swan

I promise to give you the best of myself  
and to ask of you no more than you can give.

I promise to respect you as your own person  
and to realize that your interests, desires and needs  
are no less important than my own.

I promise to share with you my time and my attention  
and to bring joy, strength and imagination to our relationship.

I promise to keep myself open to you,  
to let you see through the window of my world into my innermost  
fears and feelings, secrets and dreams.

I promise to grow along with you,  
to be willing to face changes in order to keep our relationship  
alive and exciting.  
I promise to love you in good times and bad,  
with all I have to give and all I feel inside in the only way I know how.  
Completely and forever."

I looked at him with tears streaming down my cheeks. I'm sure the little bit of make up I did apply was now all messed up. This man's words touched my heart and I knew he meant every word. He was mine forever, no way anyone woman could come between us. I hoped that my vows touched his heart in the same way his touched mine.

"Your turn Isabella" Judge Webster smiled

Edward Cullen,

Cherished are the memories that

Brought us to this day,

For yesterday, was just a dream ...

A wish to contemplate.

A fantasy where in my mind,

A fleeting glimpse I'd see ...

A vision of the true desires

I longed for endlessly.

And when I dreamed, I did not know

The love I'd feel today;

The height of my true feelings,

And the depths they would portray.

And if I had one wish today,

A simple wish would be ...

Is that the love we feel this moment,

Lasts eternally.

Reality has merged now

As you stand here by my side;

And as I join your hand in mine,

My heart does fill with pride.

For as I pledge my love to you,

I see in many ways,

Reflections of my love for you

Are mirrored in your gaze.

And by our presence here today,

And for the love we share,

I thank you for our yesterdays

That brought us to be here.

But more than this, I vow to you,

My wishes yet to come ...

Tomorrow's dreams and fantasies,

This day that we are one.

Tomorrow's an adventure

That we'll share together now;

Our future's intertwined forever,

Through this holy vow.

I promise to remember

In the future years and days,

The love I feel for you this moment ...

... Dreams fulfilled today.

For in the coming years as we

Move on, and reminisce,

Back to the day I stood with you

And promised with a kiss ...

That blessed are the days that

I have looked into your eyes,

And felt the warmth and love reflect,

The essence of our lives.

Yesterday we dreamed of what might be;

Today we validate our love;

And tomorrow we will cherish the life we have shared as one.

I tried to hide the sobs in my voice, but looking at this beautiful man, knowing he was about to say I do to me, I couldn't control it . But I looked in Edward's eyes and he had tears running down his cheeks.

"The rings please" Judge Webster said.

Emmett handed Edward my ring and Alice handed me his. He looked at me with shaky hands and a beautiful smile on his face.

"Isabella Marie Swan, I vow to love you forever and to cherish you from this moment on, do you accept this ring as my undying love for you?" Edward dazzled me with his smile.

"I do." I cried holding out my left hand

I took a deep sigh when he placed the silver band on my finger. It was now official, I was his forever.

I took his ring in my right and held his hand in my left.

With shaky fingertips I repeated his same words. "Edward Cullen, I vow to love you and cherish you always. You have given me the greatest gift anyone could ask for, you gave me you. Do you accept this ring as my undying love for you?" Tears streaming down both our faces while I smiled brightly up at him.

"I do." He smiled at me.

I slipped the ring on his finger and he clasped our hands together. With that Judge Webster announced us as husband and wife.

"Mr Cullen, you may kiss your bride." With that I was engulfed into Edward's embrace and he was kissing me passionately.

When he finally pulled away he whispered into my ear.

"Thank you for saying yes and thank you for loving me. I don't honestly know what I would have done if you didn't come down that aisle. There is no life for me without you in it." He kissed the top of my hand

"I trust you Edward and that bitch will get hers, have no worries. I love you to much to let you go that easily." I looked up at him and smiled.

We made our way past our guests down the aisle and everyone blew the bubbles we had supplied while we ushered to the limo.


	13. Chapter 13

Honestly it wows me how much you all love my story. Thank you so much for your support. Hope you all liked how last chapter went. Twilight does not belong to me, only the story I created. We are jumping ahead again, 2 years later, 2006. I added more to the end of this chapter for those who already read the original.

**CHAPTER 13**

(September 13, 2006 Bella's birthday)

I was pacing back and forth in the hallway with my black heels wearing into the floor. I had adjusted the mid length black dress I was wearing about 10 times already. It was now 8:30pm and he was late! He was always late anymore ,but for once could he have made an effort to be on time! It was my damn birthday for god's sake!

Me and Edward had dinner reservations at a local restaurant for 6:30pm. I had tried to call him about 12 times already but I got no answer from his cell. A million things ran through my head. But I knew the real answer. He was caught up at the hospital.

Biggest con to marrying a doctor, he never has time for anything. I loved that part of him, that he wanted to save lives, but I hated the part that it took time away from us. Lately, that was all the time.

I was fed up. He hadn't called to tell me he was running late and I was just so mad at him. I picked up my cell and dialed up Alice.

She picked up on the second ring and before she could even get a hello in I was already talking.

"We are going out now! Your brother is an ass and its my damn birthday!" I spat frustrated into the phone.

"What happened? Bella, what did he do?" Alice's voice laced with concern.

I was too angry to cry right now. "Alice please just say you will go out with me. I really need a drink!"

"Of course, want me to call Rose too?" She asked sweetly

"Sounds great! I will be at your house in 20 minutes." With that I hung up the phone and grabbed my purse and keys.

Has I went to open the front door I walked smacked into Edward. I looked into his surprised face with so much anger.

"Well look who finally decided to show the fuck up!" I spat angrily at him.

"Baby I am so sorry. I had an emergency surgery." He sighed with exhaustion.

"Whatever I am outta here." But he stood in my way

"Edward so help me, you better get out of my way." I gave him the evilest glare.

"We can still go to dinner, I know I am a little late, but we can still do something." He was trying to calm me down.

"_A little _late? You are 2 hours late Edward." I yelled at him

"Bella please." His face looked pained

"I have other plans, now if you will excuse me." I gestured for him to move out of the way, but he just stood there.

"Where are you going and with who?" His tone beginning to raise.

"Like you even care." I said sarcastically

He pursed his lips and it looked like his head was about to burst open.

"With Alice and Rose. Now MOVE!" I screamed at him

But he grabbed me by the arm and dragged me into the living room. I swatted his arm away from me and crossed my arms over my chest.

"What Edward?" I glared at him

"I get that you are upset with me. Its your birthday and I should have called, but I didn't have time, I'm sorry." He was pleading with his eyes.

"That's your famous line. I should have called, but I didn't have time." I said sarcastically to him shaking my head.

"That's the whole problem!. Every argument we have. You don't have time for me Edward, not even on my birthday." I could feel the tears prickling my eyes.

He must have seen the tears forming in my eyes because he came closer trying to hold me, but I pushed him away.

"I am going to spend time with the people who care about me and make time for me, no matter what their job entails." I wiped the tears from my eyes and pushed past him and walked out the front door.

Of course he cam after me, like he always does. "Bella wait please? Baby I am so sorry." He was begging , but I didn't care.

I just walked to where my car was parked and unlocked the door and got in. I looked back in his direction. He was standing on the porch . I started the car and pulled away.

All the way to Alice's house I was cursing him out in my head. He would not ruin my night, no not another night will he ruin again.

About three hours later and about 5 shots of So Co and 7 mixed drinks, nothing mattered. The pain I felt earlier, the argument with Edward. None of it mattered. I was feeling great and hanging with my two best friends.

I was dancing all over the bar having a great time. I could hear people laughing, but I was having too much fun to care.

I tried to order another drink, but Alice intercepted me.

"Um Bella, I think you had enough. I think its time to call it a night." She looked at me biting her lip.

"OHHHHHHHHH COMMMMMEEEEEEEEE ONNNNNNNNNNNNN AL." I slurred loudly at her.

"Yes has entertaining as you have been, I am with Alice." Rose chimed in.

"YOU BOTH SCUK!" I was trying to stand straight but almost fell flat on my face. Thank goodness for the chair

"I called Edward." Alice said looking pointedly at me.

"ALICE HOW WOULD YOU" I bantered at her

"You are drunk and he is your husband." She shrugged at me.

"TRAITOR" I spat and hit the floor.

"Is the chair supposed to be moving around me?" I asked confused

"Oh she is so wasted." I could hear Rose saying.

"I will take it from here ladies." Edward commanded.

"NOOOO KEEP HIM AWAY!" I was slurring even worse.

"Let's go Bella, I am taking you home." He bent down to pick me off the floor, but I was swinging at him.

But it was useless. He was bigger and stronger. With one quick swoop I was hanging over his shoulder.

"Goodnight girls. Alice I will call you in the morning." He yelled

"NO HE WON"T ALICE. HE IS LYING TO YOU! HE DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO WORK HIS PHONE." I yelled over his shoulder that I was hanging from.

I felt him swat my ass and I hit him in the back.

"DON"T TOUCH ME YOU BASTARD. I HATE YOU1" I spat angrily at him.

"You will love me in the morning. Now lets get you home." He sounded annoyed.

"NO I WON'T EDWARD. I HATE YOU! I WANT A DIVORCE!" I yelled has he put me in the back seat of his car.

"Okay we will get a divorce in the morning Bella, okay, now go to sleep." He was humoring me.

I started mumbling to myself and then everything went dark.

Next day I woke up it was about 12 in the afternoon. The room was very dark and I was grateful for that because my head was throbbing like crazy. I had no idea how I got into my bed or even how I got my pj's on, but thankful.

I stretched my body before getting off the bed and walking to the bathroom. I opened the medicine cabinet and took out some aspirin. I poured some water into a cup and swigged back the pills. I felt awful. I exited the bathroom and headed to the kitchen.

Best thing for a hangover was food right? But I felt very nauseous. No way I could stomach food right now unless I wanted to be hanging over the toilet all day.

I walked into the living room instead and laid on the couch pulling the blanket off the back and laying it over me. A couple more hours of rest should do the trick. With that I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep.

Noises coming from another room forced me to open my eyes. I took the opportunity to sit up. Has I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes I glanced at the cable box to check the time. It was already 6pm. I had slept the entire day away.

I stood up and stretched. I was definitely feeling much better than I had earlier. I still heard a rustling noise coming from somewhere in the house and followed the direction it was coming from.

I walked down the hall to where Edward's office was and found him messing with stuff in his desk draws.

He looked up to me and smiled. "Hey, how are you feeling?"

I loved when he smiled at me. "I think I am much better now." I mumbled

"I didn't want to disturb you. I figured after last night, you could use the rest." He stood up and walked over to me.

Instinctively I wrapped my arms around his waist and placed my head against his chest. He smelled like a mixture of honey and leather. All Edward.

" I take it I am forgiven?" I could feel him smirk into my hair.

"Forgiven for what?" I asked confused.

I had forgotten about the fight we had last night. Actually last night was a complete blank after I left Alice's house. Then it hit me. Yes our fight. I was still mad at him.

He must have felt me tense up because he held me closer.

"You left me alone on my birthday." I whispered to him.

"I know, I am so sorry. Okay?" He tried to hold me tighter, but I wiggled out of his embrace.

"No Edward its not okay." I was now facing him wrapping my arms around myself like a shield.

His face looked sad, disappointed. "What do you want from me Bella? I am a doctor, people need me."

"But I need you too. I am your wife. I am so sick of having this argument with you." Frustration very clear in my voice.

"What do you want me to do? You want me to quit?" He looked at me sideways.

I stood there looking at him for a minute. "No I don't want you to quit, but I know I can't do this anymore." I whispered

"What does that mean Bella?" Surprise clear in his voice

"Maybe you could take some time off and we can go away somewhere. You know go back to Bermuda like on our honeymoon." I could feel tears beginning to form.

"Bella I can't do that right now. We are so short staffed and--" But I raised my hand to him to make him stop talking.

"I see where your priorities lay Edward." Tears freely running down my face.

"Baby you are my biggest priority, but you don't work, I need to make sure we have enough money." Has if that answer would suffice.

"Its about the money now? You are the one who told me I didn't have to work, you didn't want me to work. You're rich Edward. You don't even have to work!" I spat at him

I was furious now. Did he really believe I didn't want to go to work like him everyday?

"I don't mean it like that Bella. I just can't do or say anything right, can I?" He threw his hands up in the air

"Its not you Edward, its me." I said in a small voice.

It finally hit me, he would give me any excuse not to quit working at the hospital. Then another thing occurred to me. It had been almost 3 months since we had sex. The longest we ever went not having sex was maybe 4 days.

I hadn't even realized it until now. He worked so many hours and when he would get home he was always exhausted and barely ever touched me anymore. It all made sense. The late hours, missing important information, not answering his phone.

No it wasn't his job that was occupying his time. No, it was someone else. He was cheating on me. All the signs were there, but I was so stupid and blind I didn't even notice.

"Why Edward?" I said sobbing softly sliding my back down the wall

"Why what Bella?" He spat

"Why are you doing this to us? Breaking up our home. I thought you loved me?" The tears wouldn't stop coming now

"I don't know what you are talking about. Baby please don't cry. I hate when you cry." His voice was soft and he came and sat next to my on the floor.

He tried to pull me into him but I wouldn't let him.

"What's her name?" I sobbed looking at him.

He pulled his head back with a look of sheer surprise. "Who's name?"

"The woman you are fucking." I spat through my tears.

"_Whoa_, what_?_!" He blurted out confusion written all over him.

"It all makes sense now. We don't have sex anymore, you are never around, you don't answer when I call. How stupid do you think I am?" I looked at him with pure frustration.

"Bella I have never cheated on you. God where is this coming from? I thought you would be over your insecurities by now. Haven't you figured it out, how much you mean to me?"

I had no proof, but it all seemed logical enough. Maybe it was my insecurities getting the better of me. He did everything for me. Yes he loved me, but he was so wrapped up in that damn hospital.

"I need time Edward" I said through my tears.

"Okay, so we take things one day at a time. That's fine." He wiped the tears off my cheeks.

"No Edward, I need time away from you. I am moving out." I choked on the last words

His eyes became large and shocked.

I went to stand on my feet. Being so close to him was painful.

"Bella please. You can't leave me, please!" he was on his knees in front of me with tears pouring down his face.

I bit my bottom lip. Seeing him weak was breaking my heart. Even thinking I could leave him and move out. How would I ever be able to do that. He grabbed me around the waist and pulled his face to my hips, sobbing into my nightgown.

"I will quit the hospital. We can travel and do whatever you want to do. Please just don't leave me!" He was hysterical at this point

I rubbed the top of his head and tried to sooth him. Then I took his face in my head and made him look up at me. His beautiful face didn't look right so pained and hurt. I was the cause. It was my fault he was on his knees.

"I don't want to leave Edward, but some time apart might be good for us both." Tears trickling down my cheeks.

The thought of us not being together was more than I could take, but I knew that what we were doing right now wasn't healthy. We were going to explode if we didn't try something else.

Edward began to release his grip on my waist and stood to face me. His eyes were so red and his face wet from tears.

"I need to get some air. I will be back in a little bit. Please stay Bella." He took my face in his hands and kissed me deeply.

I stood there breathless while he released his hands and walked out of the room. I heard him grab his keys and leave the house. I stumbled to the floor and the tears wouldn't stop.


	14. Chapter 14

Thanks for reading, I don't own twilight. This chapter starts with Edward's POV when he tells Bella he needs air. Enjoy!

**CHAPTER 14**

(September 2006)

(Edward's POV)

I walked out the front door and hit the remote to my car to unlock the doors. I slid into the driver's side not really sure what I was doing. I had hurt Bella over and over again, but I wasn't intending to. I hadn't even realized how bad it had gotten until tonight.

I sat there in my car in the driveway for a few minutes trying to go over everything that just happened in my head. I was late for her birthday and she had every right to be upset with me. She was also right, this wasn't the first time this happened either.

I guess this wasn't a lifestyle was accustomed to. Things had gotten a lot more hectic for me the last year since I had become a resident surgeon. Nero was my specialty, but I was able to perform other kinds of surgeries as well. I really enjoyed my job because I was saving lives everyday.

But seeing Bella like that, so undone, it broke me. I truly hurt her in ways I swore I would never and now I was paying the consequences. I loved her so much. I couldn't even start to explain what a life without her would be like. She had been my life for the last 10 years.

I needed to talk to my father right now. He always gave me the best advice on handling things like this. Especially in this situation. He was a doctor too and my mother and him had the perfect marriage. At least from what I saw growing up. They always seemed so in love. Yes Carlisle would be able to advise me.

I pick up my cell phone and dial up my dad. It rang about 4 times before he finally answers me.

"Hey son, is everything okay?" His tone calm.

"Dad I really need to talk to you. I am having some problems with work and Bella." I tried to keep an even tone.

"Is everything okay? Are they giving you a hard time at the hospital, I can talk to the board and--" His voice rising slightly.

"No, no dad its nothing like that. Are you home, I would like to come over." I breathed out heavy

"Of course. Me and your mother. Where is Bella?" He asked

"Its just me, she is home. She is fine, no worries." I tried to sound even toned.

"Okay son, see you in a few then." With that the call was over.

My parents owned a few different homes and they had recently decided to stay in a cottage they bought years ago just outside of the the city. It was convenient for dad to travel back and forth to work and also to be closer to me and Alice.

It took me about 15 minutes to get there and when I pulled up outside I could some lights on inside. I parked my car in the driveway and walked up the steps. Carlisle was standing on the porch with his arms crossed waiting for me.

"Hey there Edward, long time no see." He chuckled.

I shook my head and laughed at him. I saw him yesterday when I did my rounds.

"Where is mom?" I asked looking around him for her.

"You know her, she is already in bed." He smiled at me waving me to come inside.

Yes I hadn't even realized what time it was. It was a little past 10:30pm. Thank goodness that my father was like a night owl. I guess one of the things that happens when you are a doctor for so many years.

We headed into the living room and I sat on the arm chair while he relaxed on his couch.

"Would you like a drink?" He asked politely

"I'm good dad, thanks." I smiled at him

"So whats up then Ed?" He asked gesturing for me to start.

"Well me and Bella got into a huge argument last night and then again today." I sat back looking up at the ceiling.

I told him about the whole argument I had with Bella and I watched him closely. He just nodded the whole time. Finally I was finished and I exhaled dramatically.

"So what should I do? She wants to leave me dad." I could feel my heart pounding

"Its a tough life for the family of a doctor. A lot of sacrifices to be made. But son, sometimes you need to know when to take some time away from your job and when to focus on your wife. Sounds like she just needs more of you and you are not giving that to her. Its just a job Edward, you only get one chance with Bella." He smiled knowingly at me.

"I have a suggestion." A sweet voice from the other side of the room said. It_ was Esme._

"Maybe what Bella needs is some time to clear her mind. Maybe me and Alice could take her to Maui. I could help her through this, since I lived the life already." She walked over to Carlisle grabbing his hand and smiling down at him, then looking at me.

It never occurred to me. Asking my mom to talk to Bella about it. Of course it made sense, since my mom lived this life for years and my parents would the picture of happiness..

"I don't know if you remember you me and Alice taking vacations alone without your father. We traveled a lot." She smiled at me.

I do remember traveling sometimes as a kid without dad for a week or two. It was always nice spending time with just mom and Alice.

"Those were times where your father's job got to me. Spending so much time raising two young kids alone. I needed to get my head clear." She walked over to me now, placing her hand in mine.

"I could talk to her for you, help her understand. She loves you so much. I never seen love like that except for what I feel for your father. Trust me Edward, she just needs a little relaxation. I will call her in the morning and set it up." Esme patted my head and kissed my cheek

"Goodnight my favorite two boys." She kissed Carlisle and disappeared out of the room.

I thanked my father for his advice and made my way home.

It was around 1am when I arrived home and the house was silent. I feared Bella may have left, but I was hoping it wasn't the case. I walked into our bedroom and found her sound asleep on our bed. Her hair was spread beautifully on her pillow and all she had on was a white tee shirt. _My white tee shirt._

I quietly took off my clothes and put on my pajama bottoms and slipped onto the bed.

The lamp on her side was still on and I looked down at the end table and saw a pile of pictures laying there. I carefully maneuvered over her and picked them up. They were different pictures of us. One of our wedding outside of the hotel on the lake. Another was us kissing at a fair we attended with Alice and Jasper. And the last one was from her birthday last year.

I had bought her a 1st edition Jane Austin book. She was over the moon about it and I remember how much it meant to her. Through all the commotion of yesterday, I never got to give her my gift. But I knew that could wait until the morning. I kissed her cheek and rubbed her forehead.

"Bella I love you my beautiful girl." I whispered into her ear and leaned over to turn off the lap.

"I love you too Edward." She mumbled in her sleep.

I smiled and wrapped my arms around her body pulling her into me. It had been too long since I was actually awake enough to be near her body. It broke my heart to think how that made her feel.

Not sure what came over me, but I glided my hands between her soft legs. Feathering my hands between her thighs and I heard her gasp. I edged my hand higher up her leg and she slightly separated them enough for my hand to fit between.

I gazed her mid section and noted she had no panties on. I instantly got hard. I slid one finger along her folds which were already drenched and rubbed her clit softly. She let out a soft moan and I knew it was safe to go on.

I rubbed a little faster and she began to moan my name. "Oh Edward, oh yes that feels so good."

I looked over her shoulder and her eyes were still closed. She must think she is dreaming. I continued my rubbing and began biting along hear neck. I knew this was a weakness for her. She moaned more. I felt her turn slightly and she grabbed hold of my hair and pulled gently at it.

She surprised me when she started to talk. "Oh Edward, finger me." I was in utter shock.

I looked over at her face again, but she was still very much asleep. So I slid my finger into her wet pussy and slowly went in and out of her. "Faster." She begged.

Her voice was sexy and dripping with desire. So I pushed my finger in and out faster and she moaned more and more. I rubbed her clit with my thumb and continued the pace with my finger and before I knew it, she was coming undone. Her body arched off the bed and I could feel her walls clench around my finger.

Her breathing was labored and then she was silent. I removed my hand and looked over at her face. She was in a deep steady sleep. She must have thought it was a dream. What a lovely dream indeed.

It was about 5:30am when I heard the alarm going off. It was time for me to get up and get ready for work. Since I only had about 2 hours of sleep I was completely exhausted, but I was pleasantly surprised to see Bella had her arms wrapped securely around me with her head on my chest.

I had missed those moments with her. Sometimes when I would get home from work I could fall asleep mid through a TV show we were watching or not even make it past changing my clothes. Yes this was the perfect way to start the morning.

I kissed her sleeping head and quietly moved off the bed and opened the dresser where my jogging pants were. I headed out of the room to the kitchen to set the coffee pot and get a bottle of water. I headed upstairs to my gym and put on my sneakers.

I put my Ipod on and jumped on the treadmill. I remembered what my mother suggested and I hoped that Bella was willing to go. I hoped my mother could help her through this time. Life without Bella, it was not an option. Those were her words the day we got married and I just prayed that she meant them.

I finished up on the treadmill and headed back downstairs. I walked into the bedroom to find the bed empty. I assumed Bella had went to the kitchen. I headed into the bathroom to get showered and changed for work.

About 20 minutes later I walked out of the bathroom with just a towel around my waist and I headed to the closest to get dressed. I felt a pair of small arms wrap around my waist rubbing up my chest. I couldn't help the smile that spread across my face.

I grabbed her tiny hands in mine, intertwining our fingers. "Hey Beautiful." I said turning to face her.

A beautiful smile laid across her lips as she looked up at me. "Thank you." She whispered softly.

"For?" I asked with a confused smirk.

She just smiled sheepishly up at me and pulled me into her. She kissed me deeply and I grabbed at her tightly. Somehow this little minx was able to turn me around and pushed me onto the bed. I fell backwards and held myself up on my elbows.

"How is it you make everything look so sexy?" She said seductively.

I just smiled up at her running my hands in her hair and pulling h er face down so I could kiss her more. She still only had the tee shirt on, but she was the one who took charge. She pulled the towel out from under me exposing me fully to her.

She smirked when she noticed I was already hard. "I love how easy I turn you on, with only a kiss."

"Nobody else has that effect but my sexy ass wife." I smiled at her

Without another word Bella was kissing me again and laying over my body rubbing herself against my hard length. The next thing I felt was Bella's hand stroking me and rubbing the head of my penis along her wet sex.

With one quick thrust I was inside of her and she moaned out my name. I let her have control and her hips moved up and down. She felt incredible.

"Fuck Bella, so warm, so wet." I moaned.

"Damn Edward, I missed how good you feel." She moaned throwing her head back.

I needed control of her at that moment and flipped her over without breaking the connection. I thrusted slowly so I could look her in the face. Her deep brown eyes full of want and lust, for me. I loved her so much. The thought of someone else having my Bella was too much. I stroked her faster and harder.

Anger was building, possession was taking over. She was mine and I would let nobody have the opportunity to take her from me. I moved faster and faster. She was moaning and screaming out my name. Begging me to fuck her over and over.

"Edward I am going to cum" She screamed out in pleasure.

"Bella you are mine. You belong to me. Only me. Your body, your orgasms. They are mine!" I growled into her ear.

That was all it took because she came all undone underneath me and I followed right behind. Her muscles squeezing my dick and I poured myself into her.

Finally I clasped onto her gently. Both of us out of breath. I kissed her passionately, as if my life depended on it. Then I looked her in the eyes.

"Please don't ever leave me." I looked down feeling the fear flood my face.

"I am right here Edward, I am not leaving you." She reached up and rubbed my cheek.

"I just love you so much Bella, I can't lose you." I kissed her once more and rolled over on my side.

I was sure my weight was too much for her.

"I am here Edward, I am not going anywhere. I love you too." She smiled weakly at me.

Then I heard the phone ringing. Neither of us made an attempt to move, but the ringing kept going so eventually she got up and answered the phone.

"Hello Esme, how are you?" She smiled in my direction. Mouthing that it was my mom.

I shook my head and went to the closest to finish getting dressed for work. I didn't pay much attention to the conversation they were having. I already knew what they were discussing.

She finally wrapped up the conversation and I was ready for work.

"Edward, your mom just invited me on a trip to Maui with her and Alice for two weeks." She looked at me biting her lip.

"I think you should go, after everything, it will be good for you. Some girl time." I smiled at her.

"Are you sure? I mean after everything." She looked up at me worried.

"Baby, I want you to go. This could be just what we need to get us back on track. Go enjoy it." I really was sincere.

"I really want to go. Thank you Edward." She walked over to me and wrapped her arms around my neck.

I picked her up by the waist and kissed her softly.

'So when are you leaving?" I asked smiling down at her

"Your mom said tonight." She looked at me with hazy eyes.

I was a little surprised how quickly mom arranged for this trip. I wanted a least a week to adjust to my wife being gone ,but I knew this was for her own benefit.

"Okay." Was all I could say


	15. Chapter 15

Thank you for the love and the support. I read all the reviews and try to return them. Has always you know the twilight's not mine. This chapter takes place in Seattle and Maui. Both PO V's in this chapter

**CHAPTER 15**

( September 2006)

Bella's POV

We had landed in Hawaii about two hours ago. The sun was setting and the view was breathtaking. The beautiful clear water with the sun fading over the volcanoes unbelievable. I smiled at the sight. I wished Edward was here to share it with me. The thought made me sad.

Edward and I agreed that this was a separation period for us both. There would be no contact for either of us for the next two weeks. I was to enjoy the time away and he would spend the time thinking over things himself.

At first it seemed logical and it was a vacation for the most part, but when I finally arrived in Maui its self, the idea seemed terrible. I already missed him and I wasn't exactly sure how the distance was supposed to heal things, but Esme assured me it would.

Of course Esme and Carlisle owned a condo in Maui. They seemed to own a home everywhere. Esme took both mine and Alice's cell phones and there were no phones in any of the rooms throughout the condo. This was supposed to help us all enjoy the time we had here and not worry about back home. Esme would keep on top of that.

The condo was right on the beach. . There was a large patio with a in ground pool, normal chairs and tables. Inside the house had a large kitchen, dining area, living room and 5 bedrooms upstairs. There were 3 bathrooms and an outdoor shower.

Esme explained she wanted to spend time with "her girls" and no better time like the present. Since Jasper and Alice got married last year we barely spent time together. Her and Jasper had been trying to have a baby, but it hadn't happened yet.

Children was something Edward and I discussed and neither of us wanted. We had this conversation about 6 months after we got married. He asked me if I saw children in our future and I told him it wasn't something I wanted, being a mother wasn't something that interested me. He said he respected that and wouldn't push me on it. I never gave it much thought after that.

We had dinner outside on the patio and the view was wonderful. The sky was so clear and the stars sparkled beautifully. I was wrapped in a long sleeve shirt with shorts. I was holding my knees to my chest looking out at the water.

"Hey Bella, would you like to take a walk with me on the beach?" Esme smiled brightly at me.

"Sure Esme, just let me grab my shoes." I said standing up.

"You don't need your shoes dear. I'm sure the sand is nice and warm." She laughed

She reached out her hand and I took it. We strolled toward the beach hand in hand.

"I know you and Edward have been having a hard time. Its hard being married to a doctor." She looked straight a head with a smile on her face.

"How have you done it? All these years I mean, dealing with his schedule?" I looked at her feeling the ache in my heart.

"It wasn't easy. There were times I would get so mad at him. Feeling like his career mattered more than me. But I realized he was doing something that mattered to him. I couldn't make him choose." Her smile slightly faltening.

"I left him. Edward and Alice don't know that. For a brief period, I left." She looked up at the night sky.

"How long? Where did you go?" I was surprised by her admission.

"About four months. I traveled for a while. This was before Edward was born. We had been married about has long as you and Edward. I was a stay at home wife. I had a bachelors degree in Art. I wanted to be an artist. I loved to draw and paint." She smiled at the memory

I had always known Esme to be very artistic. Paintings were all over their house, mostly done by Esme herself. I assumed that's how she became an interior designer. I was surprised by the long time period she had left Carlisle.

"So what made you come back after four months?" I asked looking at her

She smiled widely looking straight ahead and squeezed my hand.

"I remember the day I first left him, the argument. He had been working 18 hour shifts for the past month. I barely saw him and I was a young woman at the time, only 21. Marriage wasn't what I expected it to be. I had been arguing with him all the time about how he never spent time with me. I thought he was having an affair." She laughed at the thought

I felt a very similar feeling toward her, I blamed Edward of the same thing.

"I told him he wasn't the husband I expected him to be and I was leaving him. I came from a rich family, I had a trust fund, I didn't need him to take care of me. He begged me to stay, but warned if I walked out of the door, don't bother to come back. I kissed him and left." A tear slid down her cheek

I stopped her for a moment and hugged her tightly to me. My mother in law was telling me something that was not only painful, but very private. She pulled away and smiled at me, wiping the tear from her cheek.

"Anyway, I went to Florence Italy. It was a beautiful city and any artist's dream. I moved into a small apartment and learned to enjoy life on my own. Though the whole time, I missed Carlisle. But I was very stubborn. I didn't bother to write him or call. His words burned in my heart. If you leave don't come back."

So after two months, I decided I should just file for divorce. He wasn't coming for me like the romance novels all claimed he would. He truly meant what he said." More tears poured down her face. She took a deep breath and continued.

"So I contacted our family attorney and asked him to draw up the documents. I met someone a few weeks after filing. His name was Javier Defranco. He was a handsome Italian man. Beautiful blue eyes brown hair. Tall and came from a good family. He was an artist like me. He wanted to make me his wife, but since I was still married to Carlisle, I couldn't."

"All I remember was one night coming home from a date with Javier and finding Carlisle sitting with his head in his lap at my apartment door. I was so taken back by seeing him. It had been four months and here he was slumped in front of my door with an envelope in his hands." Her smiling looking full of love

"He saw me and jumped to his feet. He looked awful, like he hadn't slept in weeks. I was so shocked to see him, I couldn't even speak. He came all the way to Italy because he needed to see my face and to hear me in person tell him that I didn't love him, that I wanted to divorce him.. He told me he couldn't sign the papers. That he had them for over 2 months, but couldn't sign them. He fell to his knees and begged me to reconsider." She had a smug look on her face

"Of course you know what happened, I said yes and that was the night Edward was conceived." She laughed at the thought.

"He changed for me. He learned to fit work and me into his life the way he should have and I should not have left. That was me being weak, running away. When you say I do and take those vows, you need to understand and be able to stick by them. Otherwise you are lying to the person you promised to give forever to. It makes the words you say, meaningless. Through good and through bad, you stay." She squeezed my hand once more.

"And that's all I have to say about that." She nodded her head

"Thank you for sharing your story with me Esme. I just didn't think you and Carlisle, ever, its just surprising." I looked at her dumbfounded.

"Besides Carlisle, you are the only one who I have ever shared that with." She looked at me lovingly

"I am honored that you trust me with this." I grabbed her hand tightly and hugged her once more.

"Well lets get back to the house before Alice thinks we have abandoned her." She laughed and we made our way back down the beach.

I stopped just short of the patio and needed a few minutes to let everything Esme told me sink in.

"Bella?" Esme looked questioning at me

"Just give me a minute." I sighed.

"Okay." She smiled and walked into the house.

Edward's POV

Bell had been gone a week and I hadn't heard from her. That was the plan right? Give each other space, but it was driving me mad. I missed her beautiful smile and her sweet voice. I promised her when she returned that things would be different.

I needed to work something out with the hospital. Sometimes I get frustrated when it comes to Bella. She knew how important my job was and how hard I was working to become an attending. She only thought about her feelings in all of this.

I knew I needed to be a better husband, but in the same token, she needed to be a better wife. I needed her support right now, not the lack of. I had two more years left in my residency before I would be an attending, couldn't she understand and just bare with me?

I thought back to the conversation we had when she accused me of cheating on her. If I worked any other job, that might have been the case, but when you are a doctor majority of your time is spent in the hospital and I knew this wouldn't be a permanent problem.

Yes a lot of the nurses hit on me, even some of the doctors. Hell I had a patient last week asking me for my phone number. But I always turned them down. None of them were Bella, nobody could compare to her.

It was Friday night and Emmett had called. He wanted to go to the bar for drinks. I agreed and called up Jasper and invited him to come. Since Alice was out of town, he was probably going through the same as me.

We met up at New Moon around 9:30pm. The last time I was there was the night before my wedding. The night I ran into Tanya and everything was almost lost. I cringed at the thought.

"Dude you okay?" Jasper asked passing me a beer.

"Yea yea I am good." I said taking a sip of the beer.

"So what have you been up to Emmett? We barely hear from you anymore." I said raising an eyebrow at him.

"Yea I am sorry about that, its just well, me and Rose have been trying for a baby." He said swallowing his beer hard

I wasn't sure why that was hard for him to say. I gestured for him to continue

"I am going to be a father guys." Emmett gave an uneasy smile

"Wow Em, that is great news man! I am so happy for you. Congrats." All three of us hit our bottles together.

"How far along is she?" Asked Jasper

"About 3 months. We just found out yesterday. She hasn't obviously told Bella or Alice, so please let Rose tell them. She will kill me if she knew I told you guys before her girls." He looked at us for reassurance.

"Of course." Jasper and I said in unison

"Thanks guys." Emmett smiled.

Jasper quickly changed the subject to sports, which I was grateful for. Kids was a topic Bella never liked to talk about unless it involved other people. She was very firm on her take of children. They were wonderful as long as you can give them back to their parents.

I wanted to be a father, but I never let her know that because I knew how she felt about it and I didn't want her to feel guilt-ed into it. If she became pregnant I would be good with that. Both Jasper and Emmett knew I wanted that, but it was something we kept between us. Just like we knew how hard it was for Jasper. Him and Alice had been trying for the last year.

We were chatting when I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. It was my mom calling.

"Guys excuse me for a minute, I gotta take this." I said walking out of the bar answering my phone.

"Hey mom, hows paradise?" I asked chuckling into the phone.

"Well you know not the same without you." But it wasn't Esme, it was Bella.

"And how did you get a hold of my mom's phone? Not that I am complaining." I added

"I sneaked it out of her purse while she was napping. I just missed you and I needed to hear your voice." She sounded a little sad

"Is everything okay baby?" I was concerned

"Its not the same this place without you here to enjoy it and I don't want to sound ungrateful. Its just the longest I have gone since we gotten married away from you."

"Baby you can always come home you know. Esme doesn't have you locked up to a chair or anything. Does she?" I asked trying to make her laugh.

"Edward your silly. Of course not ,but she is really enjoying the time she is spending with us girls and I don't want to disappoint her. I think I can try to hold out seven more days." Her last word coming out unbelievable.

"I miss you too Bella and I love you." I was being sincere

"I better go before she discovers what I did. I love you too Edward." With that she hung up

My heart began to ache. I was really missing her and I bet Jazz was missing Alice. It gave me an idea. I flipped open my phone and dialed up my dad.

After about 3 rings he answered. "Hey Dad, do you think it would be possible to get a flight out to the island tonight?"

You could hear the smile in his voice over the line. "We are Cullen's, we make things like that happen."

With that I walked back into the bar to Jasper and Emmett. "How would you like to go to Maui brothers?" I asked in a very excited tone.

I watched both their faces turn into big grins. Emmett flipped open his phone to call Rose and Jasper didn't need more convincing then the word Maui.

Carlisle booked himself, me, Emmett, Rose, and Jasper on a 1:30am flight out of Seattle. We would land in 3 hours in Hawaii. My mom, Alice, and especially Bella would be very surprised and that was the effect I was hoping to gain.

We took a cab from the airport to the condo. When we arrived it was 4:30am. Everyone was sleeping and the house was dark from the outside. We quietly made our way into the house. I had no idea what rooms anyone was in, except for Esme because my parents bedroom was, well, always their bedroom.

I found the other two rooms that were occupied and told Emmett which one him and Rose could have. I found Alice first sound asleep and Jasper of course went running for her. The door next to hers was open just slightly and I saw a head of long brown hair sprawled over large fully pillows.

I was debating against two things, cuddling up beside her or surprising her in the morning. I wanted to surprise her. I waited a week already, a couple hours wouldn't hurt. I kissed the top of her head and she mumbled my name in her sleep. I looked at the smile grow on her face which in turn made me smile and I walked out of the room.

Bella's POV

I stretched as the morning sun from the window hit my face, forcing me to awake. I rubbed my head and adjusted to the light. I checked the clock beside my bed and it was now 9am. Groggily I got off the bed and headed for the bathroom. I brushed my teeth and stepped out to the sound of different voices.

I headed toward the kitchen and to my delight I saw Carlisle cooking some eggs on the stove surrounded by Emmett and Rose. Has I got into the room more there he stood next to Esme. It was my husband copper hair and all.

The smile on my face grew ear to ear to when I saw him and I lunged myself at him throwing my arms around his neck. Has if he expected this greeting he picked me up around the waist and hugged me tightly. I kissed his lips hard.

"You came for me." I looked at him with surprise on my face.

"Of course I did Bella, don't seem so shocked." He gave me a confused smile.

I had remember Esme telling me how long it took Carlisle to finally come looking for her and it made me wonder if Edward would wait that long or if he would bother at all. But the proof was standing in front of me. He lasted a whole week without me.

"Yes your husband and his last minute ideas. But I am not complaining, all expenses paid." Rose smiled widely at me

"You did this, for them?" I asked smiling at him

"Well hearing your voice was all it took for me to jump on a plane." He rubbed my cheek and I kissed his lips softly.

"I am so happy you are here." I wrapped my arms around his neck

"Me too." He kissed my forehead and we turned back to our family

I watched Emmett and Rose look knowingly at each other and Rose shook her head in agreement to whatever their silent conversation consisted of.

"We have a announcement to make." With that Rose stood next to her man.

"We are going to have a baby. I'm due in April." Rose beamed up at her husband.

I congratulated them both and then looked over to Edward. He had a distant look on his face.


	16. Chapter 16

Thank you for the love and the support. It always warms my heart guys. I don't own Twilight, yada yada This chapter takes place a few weeks after Maui in 2006.

**CHAPTER SIXTEEN**

(October 2006)

Bella's POV

I had just spent the last 20 minutes in the bathroom throwing up my breakfast. I didn't think there was much left in my stomach. Edward had left for work about two hours ago. I wasn't sure if I should call him to let him know I wasn't feeling well, but the sickness wasn't getting better.

I called Alice and she said she would be on her way over. Since she owned her own boutique, it was easy for her to leave work. When she finally made it to my house, I was laying on my bed feeling woozy.

"Bella, you are burning up. Do you have a thermometer around here?" She said moving quickly between my bedroom and bathroom.

"Check the medicine cabinet." I said weakly

"You think being married to a damn doctor, you would have certain things around the house." She mumbled as I heard her going through the cabinets in the bathroom.

"Okay I found one1?" She yelled walking out of the bathroom.

Her voice made my head pound even more.

"Open up Bella." She took my chin in her hand.

I opened my mouth and she stuck the probe under my tongue.

"Geez Bella, you got a fever of 105. We are taking you to the emergency room. Let's get you dressed." She started going through my dresser drawers.

"I don't want to go to the hospital Alice. Just give me an aspirin or something I will be fine." I protested from the bed.

"We are going and I don't care if I gotta carry you myself. Edward would kill me if something happened to you." She forced me to sit up so she could pull my night gown off and placed a tee shirt over my head.

Somehow I was able to pull on my yoga pants and Alice placed my flip flops on my feet.

"Come on Bella, put your arm around my neck and I will help you to the car." Alice had worry written across her face.

Alice got me to the car and about 15 minutes later we pulled up at the emergency room of Edward's hospital. Alice told me to wait and went to get a wheel chair. She came back a few minutes later and helped me into the chair.

She rolled me into the waiting room and went to sign me in. My eyes were burning so bad I could barely keep them open. My head felt like it weighed 50 lbs. I could hear Alice talking to the triage nurse.

"She is Dr. Cullen's wife, can you please let him know she is here." Alice's tone was sassy.

"Well I will see if I can find him. He might be in surgery." The nurses tone was short and clipped.

"Thanks." Alice said sarcastically to the nurse.

She came back over to where she parked me and rubbed my arm.

"Bella, I asked the snippy nurse to find Edward, but she didn't seem in too much of a hurry to help." Alice rolled her eyes.

"I really don't want to bother him Al. I probably just have some type of virus or something." I felt myself getting woozy again.

"Get her a bucket." I heard someone say.

Just as they placed the bucket in front of me I threw up the only thing left in my stomach, the acid and it was burning my throat.

After waiting almost an hour, I finally heard the snippy nurse call out my name. My head was still swaying back and forth as Alice wheeled me into the back. The nurse directed Alice to the room I was supposed to go in and she helped me onto the bed. The nurse was extremely rude and very rough while taking my vitals.

I would need to find out her name and let Edward know how rude indeed she was being. She was a young girl, looked to be around my age with blond hair and blue eyes. She was pretty I guess if big boobs and big butt with a small waist is your type. Who was I kidding, she was every guy's type.

_Not the time to be insecure Bella._ She mumbled something about the doctor being in shortly and walked out of the room with my chart. Alice walked over to my bedside and squeezed my hand.

"I called Edward since I doubt the bitch even paged him to let him know you were here, but it went to his voice mail. I am going to see if I can find my father, maybe he knows where Edward is. I will be right back." Alice let go of my hand and walked out of the room.

It was cool inside the small room and I just laid there and relaxed. About 5 minutes later another young woman came into my room with a chart in her hand. She was beautiful. Her hair was long and brown, her lips stood in a perfect pout. Her legs were long, seeing she wore a blue pencil skirt under her lab coat and her eyes were a lighter color brown than mine.

"Isabella Cullen, is it?" She smiled brightly at me.

I hated her instantly.

"Yes, my husband is Dr. Edward Cullen." I muttered out.

"I see." Her smile suddenly turning very fake as she closed the chart.

"Well you seem to be running a very high fever. We are going to start an IV and get some fluids in you. I just want to look at your throat and nose, okay?" She smiled going over to the sink and putting a pair of examination gloves on.

I nodded my head. She took a tongue suppressor out of one of the glass containers on the corner and looks at my throat. Then took a light and examined my nose.

"Hm, doesn't appear to be any infection there. When was your last menstrual cycle." She asked walking over to remove the gloves into the trash can.

I had to think about that for a moment. I hadn't gotten my period since the beginning of September and I was actually due for it 2 weeks ago. Through all my stress I completely forgot.

"Um September 2nd." I swallowed hard.

"Okay Isabella, can you pee in a cup for me? Just want to cover all bases." She smiled down at me.

"Its hard for me to get up, I feel dizzy every time I try." I took my hand holding it to my head.

"Well I can get you a bed pan if you prefer." Her expression smug.

Yes I definitely didn't like this woman.

"No Irina that won't be necessary." Edward said walking to my side

He completely disregarded her and it made me gitty inside, even if I was feeling like I could keel over at any moment. He took my hand and held it gently while rubbing my forehead.

"Baby how are you feeling? Alice said you been here all morning, nobody told me. Why didn't you call me from home?" He cooed at me

"It was no big deal Edward. Just a little fever. I will be fine. I didn't want to worry you." I tried to sound convincing

He rubbed my face. "You are my wife Bella, its my job to take care of you.I am going to help you pee in the cup. I want to culture your urine, make sure you are alright." He smiled down at me.

He walked over to the cabinet and pulled out a urine cup. He walked back to me and extended his arms out to me.

"I will help you to the bathroom and I will help you with _this_." He said holding out the cup

If I wasn't so burned up already I would be blushing. The distance to the bathroom was short and he held the cup under me while I peed. I couldn't fill it much, but he assured me he had enough. He helped me back into the bed and they took some blood.

"Baby I don't like seeing you like this. Is there anything I can do for you?" Edward asked rubbing my head again.

"I just want to try to sleep for a little while if that's okay?" I looked tiredly at him.

"That is fine baby. I will go check on your labs while you rest." He kissed my lips and looked me in the eyes.

I smiled the best I could at him. The Dr. he called Irina earlier walked in to check the IV.

"I really don't like seeing you like this, it bothers me." He leaned his forehead to mine.

I whispered low enough only he could hear me. "There are three words that will make it all better."

He smiled brightly down at me. "I love you."

"I love you too." With all the energy I could muster up I kissed him as hard as I could.

I heard Irina mumbling under her breath about him getting sick too.

He just laughed and pulled away and ordered me to sleep. I closed my eyes feeling smug and drifted off to sleep.

About an hour later an older nurse came in the room to check my blood pressure and temperature. Her smile was sweet and genuine.

"How are you feeling darling?" She asked adjusting my arm to the blood pressure cuff.

"I'm feeling a lot better. Did they figure out what is wrong with me yet?" I asked

She smiled again. "You're potassium is a little low. So they are just pumping you with some through the IV. You should be fine."

She finished up the vitals and walked out of the room. A few minutes later Alice came walking back in with a tray full of food.

"I thought you might be hungry, so I went and got some food." She smiled down at me adjusting the tray.

"Thanks Al, yes I'm starving." I picked up what looked to be a turkey sandwich.

We ate in silence when Irina came back in the room. She smiled widely at Alice and Alice returned the same smirk.

"So Dr. Paston, what's the verdict." Alice chimed

"Well Ms. Cullen." She started

Mrs. Cullen." I corrected her

"Mrs. Cullen. You seem to just have a virus. Just get plenty of rest , drink lots of fluids and you will be fine in a few days. Antibiotics won't really help, but I'm prescribing some potassium pills to get your levels where they need to be. _Oh yes_ one more thing, congrats, you are pregnant." She handed me a prescription.

"Did you just say I was pregnant?" I looked at her in utter shock.

"Yes. You will need to follow up with your gynecologist to know how far along you are." She began to write something in the chart.

I felt my stomach flip flopping and not in a good way. "That can't be possible, I'm on birth control." I said out loud

"We ran it twice and if you happen to miss a pill or were taking medicine or alcohol could lessen the effects.." She closed the chart.

I thought if I had missed a dose and she was right. I had forgotten to take it a few times because Edward and I hadn't been sexual in so long that it wasn't something I had worried about.

"Does Edward know?" I asked feeling myself about to panic.

"I didn't tell him yet, but its patient confidentiality, so I can only tell him if you allow me." She eyed me funny

"I would appreciate if you didn't. I don't want him to know just yet." I looked with pleading eyes at her.

"Has you wish. Here is your discharge papers and instruction for care. Please follow up in a week with your primary doctor. You are free to go." With that she walked out of the room.

Has soon as she left Alice jumped to her feet looking at me excited. "Oh my god Bella, you are going to be a mom! This is great news!" She hugged me tightly.

But I sat there paralyzed. I was pregnant and I didn't want to be. I didn't want a child. No this was far from wonderful, it was damn right horrible.

"No, no no no no. This is awful. Oh my god. This can't be happening". I mumbled to myself hitting my head with my hands.

"Bella, this is great news, what are you talking about?" she looked at me confused.

"Edward and I discussed this, we don't want kids. I don't want to be a mom. I can't tell him Alice, I have to get rid of it before he finds out." I started getting off the bed.

"Bella, you don't mean that!" Alice looked at me stunned.

"Yes I do Alice and you will not tell him." I gave her a stern look

"He's my brother , how do you expect me not to tell him?" She looked torn

"You are my best friend and I am asking you not to say anything , please?" My eyes begging her

"I can't do that Bella. You can't ask me to do that." She just looked everywhere but at me.

I grabbed her hands in both of mine and looked her dead in the eyes.

"If my friendship has ever meant anything to you, you will do this for me. I have never asked you for anything, to keep anything from him, please just this." I was feeling more and more panicked.

The tears spilled down her cheeks. "Fine."

I pulled her into a hug and then released her.

"Let me go tell Edward we are leaving." Then she walked out of the room.

I gathered my belongings together and walked out of the room. I looked around for Alice, but instead caught Edward from the corner of my eye standing by the nurses station with Irina.

He was saying something to her that made her laugh and I watched her grab onto his arm. He gave her a beautiful smile. I just stared in disbelief. Is this what happens while he's here? I studied them further and watched him gently remove her hand from his arm. He nodded at her and walked away.

Suddenly out of no where he was standing in front of me with his lop sided smile.

"Hey beautiful girl, you ready to go home?" He rubbed my arm.

"Yes, um, but where is Alice?" I said looking around him.

"Oh I told her I would drive you home. My shift is over." He smiled kissing my forehead.

"Okay." I felt relieved.

"Just meet me out front. I will be there in about 5 minutes." He kissed my lips and walked away.

The ride home was quiet. I tried to gauge him to see if he knew. But if he did, he didn't let on.

He parked the car in the driveway and we made our way into the house. Spending the entire day in the hospital, all I wanted was to get some rest.

"Go head and lay down Bella, I will make dinner, you just relax baby." He gave me a magical smile.

For some reason at that very moment, I imagined a little boy with his eyes and beautiful face.

The thought gave me a sense of peace. What am I going to do?


	17. Chapter 17

I love you guys so much. I have the best fans on earth truly I do! You are all so passionate about the characters, it amazes me. I tried my best with this chapter. Hope you are not mad at me for it, please understand it all has a purpose to move the story along. I don't own Twilight

**CHAPTER SEVENTEEN**

(November 2006)

Bella"s POV

It had been a week since I found out I was pregnant. I had no idea what I was going to do. Alice had completely avoided me since I asked her to keep quiet. I had never known her to be so distant and right now I needed her more than ever.

I got fearful every time Edward went to work. Thinking some how Irina told him, but everyday he came home clueless. I started to relax now since it had been a week and he didn't seem none the wiser.

I had an appointment this afternoon to see my gynecologist to find out how far along I was and what my options were. Either way it was time to come clean with Edward. Once I knew how far along I was, I would tell him and we would figure out what happens next.

I tried to imagine his reaction, would he be mad or upset with me? Would he be happy? I was so confused. I took a deep breath and got dressed for my appointment.

About an hour later I was in the waiting room of Dr. Nasser's office. I looked around at the people in the waiting area. Some were pregnant. Their husband's or boyfriend's seated with them gushing over them. One man caught my eye has he rubbed his hand over his wife's very pregnant stomach. He must have felt the baby kick because his eyes sparkled with excitement. He looked up at her with such joy that it made me feel warm all over.

I imagined that was me and Edward. He was the one beaming at me and excited about the life we created. I then heard someone say my name and I shook my head to focus. I looked up at the nurse smiling at me. I got up and gathered my things.

It was now official, I was pregnant, about 5 weeks. I even got to see the shape growing inside of me on the ultrasound. It was small, but very visibly there. How could I ever have thought I would want an abortion? Random things began running through my head.

Would the baby have my eyes or Edward's? What color hair? Oh I hoped if it was a boy he looked like his father. Once to my car I called Alice on the phone. She picked up on the third ring.

"Hello." Her tone was even.

"Alice I am 5 weeks pregnant, I just found out." Excitement clear

"Really? Wow, I mean, what are you going to do?" Her voice flattening.

I remembered our last conversation was about me getting rid of it, but now that I actually saw the life growing in me, that was such a foreign thought.

"I'm keeping the baby Alice." I said with too much eagerness

You could hear her sigh of relief from the other end.

"Oh Bella, thank goodness! I am going to be the best aunt on earth." She was beaming

"What do you think Edward will think?" I asked feeling nervous now

"He will be so excited Bella, he always wanted to be a dad." She chimed

"He made it seem like he didn't want kids." I said disbelieving her.

"He did want kids, but you told him you didn't, he loves you so much, he just wanted to give you what you wanted." She said

"I feel so-" But before I could get the words out I saw a face in my rear view mirror.

I was frozen in the driver seat, unable to move or speak. Next thing I knew he had a gun to my head.

He leaned in and whispered in my ear. "Drive the fucking car. If you don't scream, I won't kill you."

"Bella, Bella, you there?" You could hear the worry in Alice's voice.

"Alice call 911 now!" I whispered into the phone and closed it.

"Now why would you do something so stupid bitch! DRIVE!" He screamed in my ear.

I did as he said, but studied his face in the mirror carefully. Since my father was a police officer, he had always tried to teach me basics about criminals. One very important thing was to always remain calm and make sure to study your attacker carefully.

He had on a baseball cap with sunglasses. His hair fell out of the hat a little revealing it was a dark blond. He had on a black tee shirt and khaki shorts. I couldn't make out his feet because my view was limited with the mirror.

We drove for about 10 minutes while he directed me where to go, eventually having me pull over by a wooded area. This was not good.

"Get out of the car!" He ordered.

I complied with him, hoping that if I didn't fight him, he would let me go. He made me walk in front of him while he held the gun to my back. We walked about 100 yards, deeper in the woods. He then pushed me hard to the ground, forcing me to look up at him.

He had removed the sunglasses and I could now tell he had blue eyes. He smiled and it crept me out. I had never been so scared in my whole life and Edward wasn't coming to save me.

I backed away from him frankly trying to figure some plan of escape, but I knew it was hopeless. He had a gun,if I ran he would shoot me in no time flat. But I couldn't just sit there and do nothing, so I played along with whatever he wanted at that point.

I surveyed the area looking for rocks or sticks, or anything I could use to fight him away. He learned down still holding the gun and looked me deep in my eyes. His looked cold and evil.

"Such a waste to kill someone so beautiful, but it must be done. You know what I look like, I can't just let you live, now can I?" He smiled wickedly at me.

"I won't tell anyone who you are, I swear." I could feel the panic in my voice.

"I will give you whatever you want, please, please don't kill me, I'm pregnant." I thought maybe pleading would help

"Whatever I want? What if I want to fuck you right here, right now?" He cocked his mouth

I thought about this vial man touching me, let alone inside of me. I wish Edward was here right now.

"Anything, you want." I could feel my tears beginning to fall

He chuckled without humor. " I bet your husband would love that."

How did he know I was married? Then I looked at my shaking hands, of course my wedding ring.

"I'm rich, I could give you money, if that's what you want. You can take the car, my credit cards, anything, please just let me go." I felt more tears pool over

"Aw, so pathetic. You are all the same, aren't you. Begging and pleading for your miserable little lives."

He reached down and touched my face with his dirty hand. I cringed at his touch.

"Don't be scared, I will make it painless, I swear." Then he kissed me violently.

It took everything I had inside of my to push my legs into him, jolting him backward. I got to my feet and started running away. I zigzagged in case he tried to shoot me that maybe it would throw his aim off.

I heard him yelling for me to stop or he was going to shoot, but right now I just did my best to get away . I heard a couple gun shots fired, but kept my pace. I finally made it back to where my car was parked and frantically opened the door. He apparently wasn't a good runner because by the time he reached my car, I was already driving away.

However he did shoot at the car and hit one of my tires, but I continued to drive and around the bend was a intersection and then my car wouldn't stop. I assumed from the damage to the tire affected the brakes and I lost control slamming into something.

Edward's POV

The ER had been hectic all morning with trauma coming in from all over. Car accidents, burn victims, and some other situations. I had just finished stitching a little girl's head when I heard a very familiar frantic voice.

"Where is Dr. Cullen, please you gotta find him for me now!" Alice's voice screeched from the other side of the curtain.

I excused myself from the patient and opened the curtain.

"Alice, what's wrong?" I asked looking at my sister

"Oh Edward, there you are. I don't know , one minute I was on the phone with her and the next she tells me call 911. I don't know where she is or what happened. God Edward I am so sorry." She was freaking out with tears falling down her face.

I gripped her on the shoulder and made her look me in the eyes. "Alice, who are you talking about?"

"Bella. I'm sorry." She cried

I froze immediately. Something was wrong with Bella, what happened. Where was my wife?

"Alice where was she when she called you?" I tried to keep myself calm

"She was in her car, she just got out of the doctor's office. She was so excited and then suddenly her voice changed, I could hear someone in the background. She whispered to call 911 and the line went dead." Alice was shaking.

"What did the police say Alice?" I was starting to come undone

"They were tracking her cell phone." Alice pulled me into her arms.

I began to panic. What if this person harmed her. I could never forgive myself.

"I need to call my security people. They can track her car." But before I could get much further I heard Irina yelling for me.

"Edward, I think you need to see this." Her voice was terrified.

"I can't right now Irina, please find someone else." I yelled at her.

"No I need you for this, I think its Bella." That's all she had to say and I went running into her direction with Alice in tow.

I got to where the gerny was being pulled in off the ambulance and I gasped. It was Bella, her beautiful face was bloody and very swollen. I could feel my stomach turning in knots.

_What had this psycho done to my beautiful Bella_?

The EMT started rattling off things, but I hadn't heard a word he said. I was too engrossed looking at my battered wife to even acknowledge him.

I could hear Alice answering his questions as I looked at her frozen. "Does she have any pre existing medical conditions?"

"No, she is perfectly healthy, she just got over a virus, but besides that she is fine." I whispered

"She's 5 weeks pregnant!" I heard Alice blurt out.

"What?" I snapped back into reality looking over at my sister confused.

"She's 5 weeks pregnant Edward, she just found out, that's why she was at the doctor." Her eyes glossy and filled with guilt.

"She never told me." I felt myself fill with grief.

"Edward, she has some bad injuries, we need to take her up to surgery right now." Irina was speaking but I couldn't hear her.

I walked over to her lifeless body and picked up her hand. She was completely unconscious and unaware of what was happening to her.

"Please baby, you gotta make it, for me, for our baby." I felt the tears prickle down my cheeks.

"Edward, we need to go now." And with that they disappeared with Bella.

It had been 6 hours since they took Bella into surgery. I was in the waiting room with Alice, Rose, Emmett, and Esme. Bella's parents were on their way. Carlisle was upstairs helping with Bella's operations.

Apparently Bella's tire was blown out and she smashed into another car. She suffered a few broken ribs, a punctured spleen, and a broken leg. Those were just some of the injuries. She was having some internal bleeding that they were trying to get under control.

The driver of the other car walked away with just some bruises. _Why couldn't my Bella be so lucky?_

I tried to go up and get an update, but Carlisle made it clear I wasn't permitted to do so.

"Edward, is there anything I can do?" My mom asked rubbing my back.

I had my head in my hands. "Just pray for her, please." I couldn't stop crying.

Even if I was a man and supposed to act tough, I was hurting too bad for my pride right now.

She found out she was pregnant and probably on her way to tell me. God I didn't even get the chance to hear her say it or see her face when she did.

"Edward." I heard mom whisper in my ear.

I looked up and saw Carlisle standing in front of us. I quickly stood and looked at him.

"The surgery went well, we got the bleeding to stop and repaired her spleen. We are going to put her in the ICU until further notice." I breathed out a sigh of relief.

"Edward, can I talk to you in private?" Carlisle gestured for me to go with him.

We walked a few doors away from everyone else.

"She lost the baby Edward. We tried the best we could to save them both, but she was fading fast. It turns out that the pressure from the air bag was too much on her tiny frame, it caused her to miscarry.." His eyes were glossy

"I'm so sorry son." He tried to pat my back.

I fell to my knees instantly and the tears wouldn't stop flowing. I heard my mother yelp and instantly she was on the floor next to me pulling me into her arms.

There were no words to be said at the moment. I felt lost and I couldn't explain it. I had only found out 7 hours ago I was going to be a dad and suddenly it was taken away. I didn't even have a chance for it to sink in. What about Bella? Oh god poor Bella.

"Can I go to my wife now?" I asked after getting myself together.

"Of course son." He nodded at me and I ran down the hall to the elevators.


	18. Chapter 18

I hope you are not that upset with me, it all has a purpose, I promise. Thank you for the love. Twilight is not mine, blah blah blah... This chapter continues in the hospital. I didn't really read the chapter before I added it, so I just fixed some typos for those who already read this chapter

**CHAPTER 18**

(November 2006)

Edward's POV

I had spent the night in the chair in the corner of Bella's room. She laid there hooked up to all the machines, bruised and swollen. She came out of surgery around 10:30pm. It was now 6:30am. At some point in the night I had fallen asleep. I raised up from the chair to stretch and walked over to her side rubbing her forehead.

She looked weak and almost lifeless. She had yet to wake up and I was worried she might not. Nobody was aloud in the room except me and of course the doctors to check on her. Not that I wanted anyone seeing her like this. Her left foot was in a cast.

I kissed her lips and I felt her stir under my lips. "Bella?"

I looked down at her face and you could tell she was trying to open her eyes. They were both so swollen, so I knew they probably were very sore.

I grabbed her hand gently and squeezed it to let her know I was with her. With my other free hand I rubbed her cheek.. She slowly opened her eyes.

"_Edward_?" She barely whispered

"Yes baby I am right here." I said

"where am I? Oh god Edward I am sorry." She started to get panicky

"Shh, don't be sorry Bella, its okay. You are in the hospital, you were in a car accident. But everything is okay." I continued to rub her cheek.

"Edward, I'm pregnant. I wanted to tell you ,but then this guy, he put a gun to my head." She then grabbed the side of her own head.

"I know all about it Bella, please just relax, okay." I wasn't sure if now was the right time to tell her that she had lost the baby.

"Are you mad?" She looked at me with hurtful eyes

"Baby, no, not at all." I lend down and kissed her softly

"I know you said you didn't want kids, but Edward I want this baby so badly." Tears fell from her eyes.

How could I break her heart? I just didn't know how not to.

"Bella, I don't know how to tell you this." I paused trying to find the words

"What's wrong Edward? Did something happen to the baby?" Her eyes growing wide and scared.

"You had a miscarriage. The air bag was too much stress." I could feel my own tears forming.

"No, oh god no." She sobbed pulling me into her.

We both held each other crying for a long time, not really sure how much time had passed. I pulled away first and took her face in both my hands.

"I know how much this hurts right now, but believe me, as soon as you are better, we can try again, if you want to." I looked her deep in her eyes.

"Do you mean that Edward?" She looked with sad hopeful eyes.

"Oh baby yes!" Tears poured down my face and I held her close again.

Bella complained of pain so I had called the nurse to get her some meds. Once they gave her some morphine I told her to get some rest. I knew the police wanted to talk to her, so I wanted to make sure she had the energy.

*****Three Weeks Later*****

(December 2006)

Bella's POV

I was hobbling out of the bathroom when I heard the door bell ring. I walked over to the bed to grab my crutches so I could answer the front door. Edward had went to the store to pick up dinner so it was just me in the house.

I had been very fearful since the day of the accident. I was so afraid of being alone. Edward made sure that someone was always with me when he couldn't be. For that I was grateful. He was a great husband and I loved him with all my heart.

I looked through the key hole once I made it to the door and saw Alice's smiling face along with Jasper. I sighed with relief and unlocked the door to let them in. Alice gave me a hug the best she could and Jasper kissed my cheek.

"Hey guys you are early." I laughed.

"We were just excited to see you, so we came by early. Thought I could give you a hand with dinner." Alice smiled at me.

"Well I appreciate that, thanks." I moved aside so they could come in.

"Where's Edward?" Jasper asked looking around.

"He ran to the store really quick, he should be back shortly." I gestured to him.

I tried to take their coats but Alice shooed me away and hung them up on the coat rack for me. I watched the two of them carefully and they both were beaming. It was quite cute to see. He whispered something in her ear that made her giggle and play slap his shoulder.

He then smirked and kissed her cheek. I couldn't help, but to smile at the exchange. Not that it was out of place for the two of them because they were just the perfect pair, but it seemed like something more. I shrugged and hopped to the kitchen.

I pulled out a bottle of wine from the fridge that Edward had chilling and offered them both a glass. Alice politely declined saying something about having to drive. I just eyed her. A few minutes later Edward came in with a few bags in his hands, smiling in my direction. Jasper walked over and helped him with the groceries.

"I hope you guys don't mind baked ziti, Bella found this new recipe and its to die for." Edward playfully rolled his eyes.

"Sounds go to me." Alice said very chipper.

"Edward, why don't you tell Jasper about that little girl Kate that you saved last week while me and Alice cook dinner." I gave him a smile

"Oh yes that is a good one." He walked over to me and kissed my forehead.

Once they both went into the living room I stared at Alice. She was putting water in a pot to boil humming to herself.

"What is going on with you Alice Hale!" I tapped my fingers on the counter.

"Nothing, can't I just be in a good mood?" She smirked at me.

"Of course you can, but you are acting a little more happy than usual." I cocked an eyebrow at her.

"Its those painkillers you are on, they are making you loopy." She continued to hum.

I shook my head and proceeded with shredding the cheese.

About an hour later dinner was ready and Edward had ordered me to sit down. Alice and Jasper set the table while Edward brought in the ziti and the salad. Everyone filled their plates and Edward offered wine. Again Alice declined.

I watched her and Jasper carefully all night and their character was definitely off, like they were hiding a big secret. Finally I couldn't take it anymore and slammed down my water glass. Everyone directed their attention at me.

"What is going on with you two?" I said pointing my fork at Alice and Jasper.

"You been acting weird all night and its creeping me out." I said eying them.

Alice looked at Jasper and he looked at her and they held each others hand. Alice smiled then sighed loudly.

"I'm pregnant!" Uncertainty in her voice.

She looked at me nervously waiting for my reaction. I wasn't going to let the hurt find me, so I put on the best fake smile I could.

"Alice that's great news." I tried to sound very excited, which I was for her, but the memory of just losing my own baby was eating at me.

"I am so relieved to finally tell you Bella, I was so worried that, you know, it would be painful for you." Alice grabbed my hand holding it to her heart.

"You been trying for so long for a baby, all I can be is happy for you." I smiled kissing her hand.

Edward congratulated Jasper and Alice and we spent the rest of the evening chatting about various things. Finally Alice and Jasper left around 10:30pm and I was more than ready for bed.

"Baby are you okay?" Edward asked rubbing my back as he got into the bed with me.

"Yes why wouldn't I be?" Adjusting my pillow

"If you aren't, believe me everyone understands." He took my face into his hands

"You act so strong Bella, but its okay for it to hurt. Its me remember, your husband?" He looked deep into my eyes.

"I just wish it was us, but its not our time yet." I pulled my face out of his hands and laid my head on the pillow facing away from him.

I heard him shuffle behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist. "Goodnight love."

I felt the silent tears fall down my face. I wasn't okay with the news, it hurt. But Edward promised we would try and that's all I could ask from him.

Has if he knew me better than I knew myself his hand wiped the tears from my eyes.

I turned to face him and he had a sad expression on his face.

"I'm sorry I lost our baby Edward." I bit my lip trying to prevent more tears.

Instantly he had me against his chest holding me tightly.

"Shh baby it was not your fault. Please don't ever think I blame you for that. We will try again Bella. I am just grateful you are still alive and here with me. I don't know what I would have done if something happened to you." He smoothed out my hair kissing the top of my head.

I just sobbed into his chest and eventually drifted off to sleep.


	19. Chapter 19

Thank you for all the support as always. If anyone as any ideas for me, let me know. I don't own Twilight, just my story line. We are jumping a few months into time, hope everyone enjoys it!

**CHATPER 19**

(February 14,2007)

Bella's POV

I had been sitting on the bed for the last 15 minutes just staring at my closet. I owned a few dresses, all pretty I guessed, but I always hated partying. The last few months had been hard on me and Edward.

He tried his best to make me smile and keep me from reliving all the torture I had been enduring, but nothing he did was keeping the nightmares away. Every night I had the same dream. The man with the gun to my head. They still hadn't found him even though I knew he had no idea where I lived, I still was scared of him finding me somehow.

The opening of the bathroom door took me from my thoughts. I looked up to Edward who had a towel wrapped around his waist while he had another drying his hair. God he was sexy.

He stopped drying his head and smirked at me. "What?"

I just smiled at him. "Nothing Dr. Cullen."

"Hmm maybe a little flashback?' I smiled devious at him.

But before I could grab the towel from around his waist he grabbed my wrists gently.

"I recall my parents house when you did that to me. Fortunately for me, I put on boxers before I came out here." He began to chuckle

"Well that's very unfortunate for me." I pretend to pout at him.

He gave me that crooked smile.

I stood up and wrapped my arms around his neck to kiss him. "I need to find something to wear."

"Alice dropped off a dress for you this morning, its in the hall closet." He breathed into my ear.

"I don't remember her coming over.?" I looked at him

"She stopped by before you woke up. You should go take a look." He smiled brightly

I released my hold on him and walked into the hallway to examine the dress. It was a full length fitted dark red silk with a flaring neck line. It was accompanied with a black shawl and black heels. She added a small beaded black purse with accessories inside. _Alice always thinking of everything._

I shook my head laughing to myself. "Alice you are so predictable."

"Actually." I jumped not expecting him to be behind me. "I had her pick out the entire outfit. Happy Valentine's day."

I turned around to look at his smirking face with such surprise. "You got this for me?"

"Baby, I had all the pieces made just for you, its a one of a kind everything." His green eyes shining with love

I felt my eyes begin to water. He was amazing sometimes. "Thank you Edward." I leaned up and kissed him.

"Anything for you Bella." He kissed me for a few more minutes then motioned for me to get ready.

About two hours later we were mingling among the crowd. Some people I knew others I didn't. I knew Carlisle and Esme would both be there, so I opted to find them when Edward excuse himself to talk to another doctor about some new techno thing.

I also knew Alice and Jasper would be attending as well, but would be coming a bit later.

I made my way over to the bar first to get a drink. I ordered a rum and coke.

"Bella I love your dress!" Esme beamed from behind me.

I turned to face her and she was grinning ear to ear. _God I loved her._

She had on a off the shoulder long green gown that highlighted off her beautiful red hair. She wore a strand of pearls around her neck.

"Thank you, so do you!" I hugged her tightly

"How are you doing? I know we haven't had much time to talk, but I do worry about you." She smiled sweetly while rubbing my hand

"I'm doing good. No reason to worry." I gave a convincing smile.

"Anytime you need someone to talk to, if you don't think you can talk to Edward, I'm here to listen dear." She smiled kissing my cheek.

Me and Esme chatted for a bit longer over nothing in particular. Edward and Carlisle finally made their way over to us. We were sitting at a table toward the front of the ballroom by a stage. It was a oval shaped table that seated about ten.

It was Edward next to me, Alice, Jasper, Carlisle, Esme, Dr. Harper, and his wife. They were good friends of the Cullen's.

Edward kissed my cheek and pulled out his chair to sit next to me. He then leaned back to whisper in my ear. "If I haven't told you, you look beautiful and when this is over I am going to do unspeakable things to you."

I felt face flush with color. The thought alone was enticement enough. "Thank you and is that a promise?" I giggled.

He just smirked at me and squeezed my hand. Everyone talked about various things. Esme and Alice were very engrossed in talking about the baby. I just zoned out. I know it was wrong of me, but the topic was still so hard for me to deal with.

Alice was starting to show and Rose was really showing. It depressed me to no end every time I looked at me two very best friends. I found myself laughing when I thought about the fact I didn't even want a baby, but once I knew that it was a possibility, I wanted nothing more than to be a mom.

After dinner was served the DJ announced the dance floor was open. I was not much of a sober dancer, so I knew it would take a few more drinks to even get me remotely on the dance floor.

"Bella, would you like to dance with me?' Edward smiled down at me extending his hand.

His green eyes so pent rating, how could I say no to him? "Of course."

I put my hand in his and he led me to the dance floor twirling me when we got to the middle. He then pulled me close into him.

"You have been so faraway tonight, where did you go?" He looked down at me as we swayed.

"I was there, just all the baby talk, its still hard, ya know?" I looked down

"Bella." His voice soft, but demanding causing me to look up.

"I love you." He leaned down and kissed me

I could never grow tired of how soft his lips were. "I love you too." I smiled at me

He held me close to his chest and we just continued to sway until the song ended. Someone came behind him and tapped him on the shoulder, forcing him to let me go and turn around.

"May I have the next dance?" It was Irina grinning ear to ear.

Has always she looked beautiful with her long brown hair pulled atop her head. Her dress was short and black which sparkled and it was strapless. Her heels were high. I hadn't seemed to notice her all night, but now that I had, I hated her even more than I already did.

She always came across politely, but I could just see her lust for my husband. It was always written all over her face. I never told Edward about my insecurities because we were doing so well these past few months that I didn't want to ruin it with a useless argument.

"Hello there Bella, do you mind if I steal you husband for a dance?" Her usually fake smile plastered to her face.

"_Steal_ him? _Hardly." _I mumbled.

"Sure, why not." I gave her my fake smile back.

Edward just looked at us confused, but took Irina's hand and they began to dance. I walked away heading straight for the bar.

**Edward's POV**

I watched as Bella and Irina exchanged very strange glances at each other. I shook my head as I watched my Bella walk away from us. Irina put her arms around my neck forcing me to wrap my arms around her waist. She looked up at me smiling.

"You look very handsome tonight Edward." She has some rasp to her voice.

"Well thank you, you look lovely too." I smiled politely at her.

"Happy Valentine's day. I have something for you." She had amusement written all over her face.

I began to laugh. "Exactly what do you have for me?"

"Anything you want, you can have." With that she pushed herself closer to me.

I immediately felt uncomfortable. "Um what are you implying?" I raised an eyebrow at her.

"I think you know." She whispered in my ear and kissed my cheek as the song came to an end.

I looked at her in utter amazement. Was she really making a pass at me? Was she insane?

She smirked as she walked away trying to look sexy. Well I must admit, she was pretty attractive, but I loved my Bella and no matter how attractive another woman may seem, my heart wouldn't stray, not for a single second.

I began to scan the room for Bella. My need for her was so strong at that point. I was ready to go home and have my way with my wife.

**Bella's POV**

I couldn't sit there and watch her dance with my husband. I was overly jealous of this woman and that would have been the breaking point for me. So instead I took a seat back at the table with my drink. Everyone was out on the floor dancing. I played with the small red straw in the glass moving the ice around when someone cleared their throat.

I looked up and it was Irina. She slid into the chair beside me and I just rolled my eyes at her.

She also had a drink in her hand and she took a sip before she could begin speaking.

"What do you want?" I snapped at her

"Well that's a little rude." She laughed.

I squared my eyes at her, basically asking her to get on with it.

She straightened up her in her seat smirking. "Your husband looks very handsome tonight, don't you think?"

I just eyed her feeling the anger rising inside of me.

"You are lucky to have him. He is the most amazing guy I ever met. All the women in the hospital want him, you know." Her eyes looked dark

"Thank you, I know I am lucky." I smirked at her

"I'm in love with him Bella." My eyes nearly fell out of my head

"What?" I looked at her like she was insane my voice getting louder.

I began to stand up, but she grabbed my wrist and focused her eyes at the chair as for me to sit back down.

"You have a lot of nerve lady, let me go. What did you come over here and tell me that for? Do you really think I would say okay that's great, you can have him?" I didn't really know how to feel, mostly agitated that she even would say anything to me

"Bella, I will fight for him, that's what I came to tell you." Then she began to rise from her seat.

That's all it took for me to stand straight up and punch her dead in the face.

She stumbled backwards and looked at me like I was insane, which at the moment that's how I felt.

"You bitch." She spat at me holding her nose.

I was ready to pounce on her, but Edward came and grabbed from behind.

"Your fucking wife hit me." Irina shrieked from the floor.

"Yes and I will do it again. Stay away from my husband you slut!" I spit in her face.

"I will kick your ass right now." She swung for me, but Jasper was behind her before she had a chance.

"I think party time is over." Edward spoke taking me by the arm in the opposite direction toward the front door.

Once we got outside and he told the valet to get the car, he put his hands on my shoulders.

"What just happened in there?" The amusement clear on his face.

"She just confessed her undying love for you. Told me she would fight to be with you." I spat out throwing my hands in the air

"So you punched her?" He laughed

"Who does she think she is trying to take my man? Are you kidding me? How many women have tried and failed? Like I would let her-" But I was cut off by the softest lips on earth.

He kissed me so passionately and deep that I was about to faint. He only broke the kiss because the valet told him the car was ready.

"I definitely don't promote violence, but Bella Cullen, that was the most fucking hottest thing anyone has ever done for me." His face was pure sex, he was pure sex..

I just smiled at him and got in the car. He must have ran every stop light and sign in Seattle racing to get home. Once we pulled in the driveway he picked me up before I was even out of the passenger seat and carried me into the house.

He fumbled with the keys for a minute and the pushed open the door, kicking it closed behind him. He kissed me hard and took me into the bed room where he threw me onto the bed. I looked at him with pure excitement and he tore his clothes off and then ripped my dress down the middle.

He was hungry for me, it was so clear. "Hey I liked that dress." I muttered while he devoured my neck.

"I'll get you a new one." He growled.

He pushed my legs apart and ripped off my panties too. I will tell you this, it was the biggest turn on ever. He pulled me to my feet and removed my bra quickly and pushed me back onto the bed. He placed himself in the middle of my legs separating them with his knee.

Next thing I knew he was thrusting hard into me. I kept yelling his name over and over until I knew I was about to come.

"Fuck Edward I am going to-" I moaned

"Me too baby, come with me." He moaned even louder

That's all it ever took and I was undone. My sight even may have blacked out for a minute.

He collapsed on top of me panting heavily. He looked deep into my eyes and kissed me passionately.

"God woman, what you do to me." He spoke breaking the kiss

"What I do to you? You just literally ripped my dress in half." I giggled.

He smirked at me and rolled off to the side pulling me to his chest. "You are the only woman for me, you know that right." He kissed my head

"I do now." I sighed and just laid with my beautiful husband until we both fell asleep.


	20. Chapter 20

It just amazes me every time that I get so many favorite alerts for this story. Thank you all so much for the love, it keeps me moving forward. We are advancing further now, about six months from valentine's day. I will mention this project going on in Italy called the falcon project. I made it up, its not real, so bare with me. Neither is the disorder I am going to name

**CHAPTER 20**

(August 2007)

**Bella's POV**

I was looking through pictures I had just taken at the hospital after visiting Alice. She had just given birth a little over 7 hours ago to a beautiful little girl named Claire Joyce Hale. Her hair was blond and her eyes were a light brown, though there was a chance they might change color. She was beautiful and I was so happy for them both.

Rose and Emmett had welcomed Emmett Junior into the world about 5 months prior. How time has flown since then. We called him EJ for short. He looked exactly like his father except he had Rose's blue eyes. He was so sweet with his dimples and he worked them to his advantage.

I had been seeking therapy for the last few months because the nightmares were not going away. Edward would tell me I was screaming in my sleep, something needed to be done. So I made an appointment with Dr. Knox twice a week.

He was really helping me with certain issues, like my insecurities. One of the first things we discussed was Irina and what happened at the charity Ball. I expected her to press charges against me ,but she never did. I didn't want things to be awkward for Edward at work, but the only thing that was awkward was for him seeing her the next day with her black and blue nose. Apparently she was very professional when it mattered and avoided him any other time.

I had even took up getting a part time job. Dr. Knox thought it would be beneficial for me. So I got a tutoring job at the University of Seattle four days a week. I had been working there for about 2 months now and I was enjoying it.

I heard keys unlocking the front door so I saved the pictures to the computer and walked into the hallway to greet Edward. When he finally managed to walk into the house he looked totally exhausted.

"Hey there." I said smiling sweetly up at him wrapping my arms around his neck.

His beautiful face lit up and he pulled me into him. He smelled like pure Edward and it was intoxicating.

"Hey back." He kissed me on the lips quickly and smiled.

"How was your day? Did you go see baby Hale?" I unwrapped my arms so he could put his keys down.

"Yes I visited Alice on my lunch. Beautiful little girl they got. I told Jasper he will have his hands full." He chuckled.

"I made chicken chow mien for dinner, it should be done shortly." I just looked at the Adonis of a man.

"Sounds fine Bella. I am going to take a quick shower." He kissed the top of my head and walked past me into our room.

I went back to the kitchen to finish up dinner

After I placed everything on the dining room table and poured the wine into both of our glasses, I began to question him about his day. It was a standard thing we did every night. However tonight he seemed off, like he had something pressing on his mind.

"Is everything okay? You seem like something is bothering you." I quirked my eyebrow at him placing a fork full in my mouth.

"It's nothing really." He mumbled.

I smirked in confusion. "Obviously it something or you wouldn't be so deep in thought."

He looked over at me and sighed. His shoulders hunching forward.

"You remember me telling you about the Falcon Project?" He looked up at me now.

I thought for a minute about it Then it came back to me.

"Yes, I think so. Isn't that like when you get the opportunity to travel to other countries for a few months practicing different medical procedures or something like that?" I looked up at him taking a sip of my wine.

"Yes you get to go to places where people who have rare medical conditions and you have the opportunity to operate on them or observe. Its an honor if you get chosen. Only about 4 or 5 residence ever get chosen to participate in all of the United States. You get to work with some of the best physician in the world." His eyes filled with excitement.

I loved how passionate medicine made him. He truly wanted to better someone's life and I admired him dearly for it.

"Okay so what about it? Did you get chosen or something." I giggled a little taking another sip.

"Actually I did." I stopped mid sip and placed the glass down on the table and just gawked at him.

I was speechless for a moment. I just stared at him dumbfounded.

"Bella, say something." He looked me back and forth.

"Wow I mean that's great Edward, wow." Was all I could come up with

"What does it mean exactly?" I asked suddenly no longer hungry.

"well if I accept, I get to go to Italy to operate on a 13 year old girl named Nicole who has a rare disorder called Wallenstein's syndrome. Its tiny little tumors that have formed in her brain, but you can only remove so many at a time. They grow back every 2 years, so this poor girl has to go under surgery every 2 years. Radiation has failed to work for her ,the same with chemo. The only thing that seems to help it is trying to remove them. However this Australian doctor thinks he _may _have found a way to prevent them from growing back." He looked like a little kid on Christmas the way he was explaining it to me.

"If what this doctor assumes will heal the tumors from growing back, it will go down in medical history. Imagine being only a resident and being able to witness history." He looked out into space in a daze.

"Oh Edward, that sounds amazing. Did you tell then chief you would go?" I looked at him

"I told him I needed to talk it over with my wife first." He gave me a look as if asking my permission.

"How long will you be gone for? When would you be leaving and would I be able to go with you?" I was just blurting things out .

"Slow down a minute." He chuckled at me.

I just blushed at him.

"The procedure is done in steps, so its not like it will be a few hours in and out. Its a long process preparing her. It takes about 3 weeks for the full surgery to be successful, however she was only 11 the last time, so her brain is more developed now." He sighed.

I motioned with my hands for him to continue

"I would be leaving in 6 days if I say yes and no you can't go with me." He watched my face carefully after he finished.

Now it was my turn to sigh. It was a lot to take in at one moment.

"A month Edward, are you serious? And I am not even aloud to go with you?" I looked at him like he was crazy

"Bella its not a vacation, its me going to save some little girl's life and the medical board thinks highly enough of me to ask me to be apart of that. You can't make me say no." He seemed annoyed suddenly

"Well it seems you have already decided what you want, basically telling me I have to say yes." I could feel the frustration settling in.

"But then again, I didn't really get a say in this, _did I_?" I really wanted this conversation to be over.

I stood up and grabbed our dinner plates and walked into the kitchen. I placed them roughly on the counter. But he was behind me before I had a chance to even get my thoughts in order.

"I think you are taking this the wrong way and you are acting pretty damn selfish." He corned me against the island counter.

"Is it I am not aloud to come with you or is it you don't want me to come with you?" I looked him dead in the eyes.

He took a deep breath pinching the bridge of his noise. "Baby listen to me, its work related, not anything else. Having you there would be a distraction."

"Oh, I'm a distraction now?" I threw my hands in the air.

"Christ Bella, what do you want from me? Nothing I ever do makes you happy." He huffed and began pacing.

"Who else got chosen?" I looked at him questionably

"I don't know." He pulled on his hair more

I watched him pull at the hair on his head looking like he was going to scream.

"Edward I just-" But he cut me off by kissing me hard on the mouth.

He kissed me roughly for a few moments then stopped to catch his breath, backing away from me.

"Fuck Bella, do you think I want to be away from you for that long? Of course I don't! But opportunities like this don't happen all the time in the medical world, I have worked so hard for this." He shook his head

I walked back over to him wrapping my arms around his body. "I am being selfish and for that I am sorry. I want you to go, I know how much this seems to mean to you. I need to learn to support you, not nag you."

He wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed the top of my head then rested his chin there."Thank you." He whispered.

"You're welcome." I whispered back.

*****7 Days later*****

Edward had left for Italy yesterday and once I arrived home, it felt so empty and lonely without him. I tried to get Rose and Alice to go out with me, but of course they had newborns at home, they were too exhausted. So I called my friend Victoria

Victoria Thorne worked in the library at the university with me. She was 26 and single. She was nothing like Rose and Alice. Victoria was a very free spirit and I very much appreciated that about her. She agreed to go out with me. We decided to meet up at a local bar.

We sat down at the bar with the loud music blaring in the background.

"You know I was really surprised you called. You don't catch me as the bar type, but I guess with Eddie out of town, you will come out and play." Victoria smirked at me taking a sip of her drink.

"Well I thought you would be a blast to hang out with, besides Edward told me to enjoy myself." I chuckled taking the straw to my drink in my mouth.

We had been at the bar for almost 2 hours, drinking and having a good time. I lost count on how many men hit on me and how many hit on Victoria. But when I went back to the bar for another drink, I saw someone I didn't expect, _Jacob._

It had been almost 5 years since the last time I saw him and that was when I had gotten engaged. Charlie had mentioned one day in passing that Jacob had gotten engaged himself, but I never questioned it further because I didn't really care.

I walked into his direction studying him carefully. He still looked handsome and his build had gotten more muscular than I remembered or maybe it was the alcohol. He had on a dark green short sleeve button shirt with black dress pants that fit loosely on his waist.

At first he didn't see me. I watched him talking to a man on his right and he was laughing at whatever the gentlemen said to him. I thought maybe I could get away without him noticing, but his eyes suddenly shifted to me and his face grew with surprise.

"_Bella?" _His smile grew large and he handed his drink to the other guy and walked over to me.

"Hey Jake, how are you?" I smiled weakly up at him nodding.

"Wow look at you! Beautiful as ever." He wrapped his strong arms around me

I patted him on the back.

"Its been, what? Five years? You haven't changed much at all." He appraised me with his eyes.

"Well except I am married." I laughed nervously showing him my ring

"Your only fault." He smirked

I rolled my eyes at him.

"My dad said you got engaged, how is that working out?" I tried to ease the conversation onto him.

"Didn't work out." He shrugged like it was no big deal

"I'm sorry to hear that Jake. Well it was good seeing you, I better get back to my friend." I tried to walk away from him but he grabbed my wrist

I swung back and we looked each other dead in the eyes. For some reason the look on his face brought back an old memory when I first had met him. How sweet he had been.

"I would like to talk more, sometime if you want, just as friends. I know I messed up in the past and I know you are married now, but we are adults, we used to be really good friends Bella, I miss it." He looked at me so sincerely.

"I don't know Jake, Edward wouldn't really like it." I was heisting.

"Then we don't tell him, its harmless I swear." He smiled at me crossing his heart with his hand

I never liked keeping things from Edward and I knew this would be something he would totally not be okay with, but I did remember my friendship with Jake and I missed it. Hell who was I kidding? None of my friends barely had time for me anymore.

"Okay Jake, maybe we could have coffee sometime, I don't think its that big of a deal."

But what did I really know? I knew my husband was half way around the world and I was feeling generous at the moment


	21. Chapter 21

This chapter will be in Edward's POV so you can get some perspective on what happened last chapter. Has always thanks for reading. The end of the chapter ends with Bella's POV.

**CHAPTER 21**

( August 2007)

**Edward's POV**

It was around 12 noon when I finished with my first morning appointment. Alice had just had her baby two hours ago and I was dying to get a glimpse at my new niece. I told my nurse Carolyn that if I was needed to have me paged and made for the 3 rd floor of the hospital.

I had been on call when Jasper and Alice had first arrived in the hospital so I had visited them briefly before my rounds. So I headed in the direction of their room 121. I knocked before I entered I could hear my sister's voice cheerfully calling me in.

"Hey Edward." Alice smiled from her bed holding baby Claire with Jasper sitting next to her.

"Well congrats guys, how does it feel to finally have her in your arms?" I smiled at my sister

"God I love her so much Edward, words just can't explain it." She kissed the top of her daughter's head.

"Would you like to hold your niece?" She gave me a big grin.

"I don't know Al, she is small, what if I drop her?" I was backing off a little bit.

"Oh Edward, you will do fine, sit in the chair. Jasper hand him the baby." Alice giggled passing Claire to her father.

"You better not damage my kid, do you understand?" Jasper squared his eyebrows at me.

"I will do my best Jasper." I shook my head at him.

He placed Claire in my arms and I cradled her little head. She was perfect. I looked down at her little face and rubbed her cheek with my thumb. She cooed at my touch and it warmed my heart. I imagined what it would feel like to have a baby of my own.

Bella and I have been trying for the last 6 months without luck. It broke my heart to see her so disappointed when she would tell me her period had came. But over the last few months, it had gotten easier to deal with, the loss of our baby.

After hanging out with Jasper, Alice and Claire for a little while I got a page to go to the Chief's office. I knocked softly when I came to his door and he yelled for me to come.

When I walked in he was on the phone and motioned with his hand for me to sit in front of him. I crossed my legs and began to fidget.

After about 3 minutes he finished up his phone call and cleared his throat.

"Thanks for coming up Edward, there is something I want to discuss with you." His voice was serious

"No problem Phil, what's going on?" I was nervous

"Well you know how every year the medical board will choose residence for the Falcon Project. Normally its only about 4 or 5 from the whole country and normally never the same hospital."

He had my interest alright. The falcon project was a big deal. My father had been one of the attendings on 3 or 4 cases and it was documented in medical journals. Its a high honor to be asked.

"They have chosen two residence from this hospital." Phil stated matter a factually

I just looked at him urging him to go on.

He let out a small chuckle and went on. "They have chosen you and Irina Edward."

His smile grew wide on his face, like a proud father.

I looked at him in pure shock. Did I hear him correctly?

"They chose me?" I could hear the surprise in my own voice.

"Yes of course they chose you, don't seem so surprised my boy. You are Carlisle Cullen's son, they were watching you very carefully."

"I can;t believe it, wow I am so honored Phil. I mean tell me all about the case. Did you tell Irina yet?" I was just going on and on.

Phil went on to discuss the case of a little girl named Nicole who was plagued with tiny tumors in her brain since she was 2 years old. Every 2 years of her life they go in remove some of the tumors and then close her back up.

He explained we would be gone for 3 weeks and we would be required to be on call the entire time we were there. That was when I began to question myself. Three weeks with no Bella, how would she understand that she couldn't go? How would she react? Would she be upset that I already accepted it?

I explained to Phil I needed to talk it over with Bella first, but I really hoped she would be supportive. However if she knew that it would be me and Irina going, I doubt she would be so willing to let me go. So I came up with a plan in case she asked, that I didn't know who they picked.

I needed Bella to trust me and to know I never had feelings for Irina in the slightest. Irina had apologized to me for the Ball and I was more than willing to put it behind us. She even joked saying Bella had a mean left hook. She hadn't tried anything since and for that I was grateful.

After I explained things to Bella and she finally let up about me going, I called Phil to let him know I was in. I had let Irina know Bella didn't know she was going also, and she told me she wouldn't make it hard on me.

Once I landed in Italy I was exhausted from the 6 hour time difference. It was only 4:30 pm, while it was about 10 pm back in Seattle. I called Bella to let her know I landed and that I was going to get some sleep. I already missed her and it was only a few hours ago that I saw her.

We were already in week 2 of the surgery and it was going really well, better than we expected. However trying to sleep was hard for me the last few days. Being away from Bella was harder than I thought it would be. I was hoping she would just appear in Italy to surprise me, but that was very unlikely.

The only good thing about the time difference was, no matter what time I tried to call her, I know that I would be able to get through, I knew she would answer her cell. I was sitting in my hotel room around 8:30am because I didn't need to be in the hospital today so I chose that time to call my beautiful wife.

Her cell phone rang about 3 times before she finally answered.

"Hey honey, hows it going?" I could hear her giggling.

I began to smirk. Her laughter was always so lovely to hear and since the loss of our child, she rarely did it anymore.

"I had the day off so I thought I would call my beautiful wife. What are you doing?" I chuckled into the phone.

"Oh I am just having coffee with a friend." She giggled even more.

Then in the background I could hear a male voice saying her name and her trying to shh him.

"Who is with you Bella?" My curiosity peaking.

There was a short pause before she began to talk. "Umm, just someone from the school, John is his name."

And you could hear the man laughing loudly in the background.

"Am I interrupting you?" Feeling jealousy bubble in my stomach.

"Of course not Edward, don't be ridiculous." Her voice so sweet

"I miss you, I wish you were here with me." I sighed into the phone.

"Me too baby, but you will be home next week, just a few more days. Can I call you when I get home, I don't want to be rude." She was trying to hurry me off the phone.

"Of course you can sweetheart, I love you, enjoy your coffee." I tried to keep the irritation out of my voice.

"Thank you, you too." With that the line went dead.

I stared at the phone for a moment. I never remembered her having any friends named John, who exactly was he? So my first instinct was to call Alice and hopefully she had an idea.

So I dial up my sister. Her cell rang about 4 times before answering and she sounds tired.

"Hello." A groggy voice answers.

"Hey Al, I'm sorry, were you sleeping?" I asked feeling bad for disturbing her.

"No no Edward, its okay, whats up?"

"I just got off the phone with Bella and she mentioned having coffee with a friend named John, do you know him?"

She hesitated before she answered me. "I don't really know Edward. She's been kind of distant with me since Claire arrived."

I ran my hand through my hair.

"Really? Do you want me to say something to her?" I wanted to help, I didn't want the baby to be a strain on their friendship.

"No, that's not necessary, but thanks. I'm sure she is just going through stuff with you being gone and all." Alice sighed

"Have you seen her since I left?"

"She stopped by last Thursday, but that's the last time we spoke. I am so tired most of the time getting up with Claire, I haven't even bothered to call her."

"Okay, I will let you get some rest. I love you Alice."

"Love you too big brother. Take care. Call me when you get back so we could have dinner."

"Will do Alice, bye." Then I ended the phone call.

The fact Bella had barely spent anytime with Alice struck me odd considering they constantly kept in contact, the longest they ever went without speaking was a couple days. Bella being short with me on the phone was out of the ordinary also. What was going on with her? I would get to the bottom of this.

It was around 6pm Italy time and I still hadn't heard back from Bella. I had spent the day with some of the residence exploring Italy, but it wasn't the same without her.

I knew it was around midnight in Seattle and I didn't want to disturb her sleep,but I had this nagging feeling something wasn't right. I decided I would wait it out and take a shower really fast. So I descended to the bathroom.

**Bella's POV**

After I hung up the phone with Edward I instantly felt my chest tighten. I just straight out lied to the man I love about who I was with. I didn't need to lie to him, he would have been upset, but he would get over it. The lying about it though, I couldn't do that to him.

The humor had long wore off once I hung up with him and I looked over at Jake who was smirking at me.

"What?" He looked at me innocently

"I can't lie to him Jake, I need to tell him I been seeing you. I can't hurt him." I began playing with the napkin in front of me.

"Bella, look at me." He commanded

I looked up at Jake and he was still smiling.

"I don't want to cause problems in your marriage, so if you don't want to be friends anymore, just say so."

"I just need to talk to Edward about it, its been years since we were together, he would understand." But something told me he wouldn't.

How could I be so dumb to think he would understand. That would be like me saying it was okay for him and Tanya to be friends or Irina, we both knew it would never happen.

"I need to get home, I will talk to you later Jake." I got out my wallet to pay for my coffee, but jake grabbed my hand before I could pull it out.

"I got it Bells." He smiled

"Thanks, I better go." I stood up to go and he grabbed me into a hug.

"Thank you for giving me a chance, I really missed you." He muttered kissing the top of my head.

I gave him a weak smile while I walked away.

I spent the entire afternoon practicing what to say to Edward, how to explain myself. Before I knew it, it was already 11:30pm. I had wasted the entire day and I had resolved nothing. Edward was probably wondering why I didn't call ,but I needed to be strong for this conversation. I couldn't break down.

So I finally got the nerve up to call him. It was late here ,but I think it was about dinner time over there.

His phone rang about three times before it finally was picked up.

"Hey Edward, listen I need to talk to you." I needed to get this off my mind.

"Um, he's in the shower, who is this?" A female voice sang from the other end.

I was speechless. He was what? Who the hell was answering his phone.

"Hello, can I help you?" Irritation clear in her response

"Tell him his wife called." And I closed my cell.

I dropped the phone on the floor and slid down the wall in utter shock. I didn't know what to say or what to do? Who was that girl? Was he really cheating on me? I had felt bad about telling him about Jake all day and I come to find out he has someone with him. Of course I was a fool.

About 5 minutes later the phone rang but I didn't bother to look at the screen. Whoever it was could go fuck themselves for all I cared at that moment. It didn't stop ringing and I was too numb to cry or scream or even move. I just sat there staring at the wall.

**Edward's POV**

I came out of the shower with just a towel around my waist to find Irina sitting on my bed. I nearly jumped out of my own skin when I noticed her and then I looked at her hand, she was holding my cell phone laughing.

"How the hell did you get in here and why are you holding my phone?" I screamed at her

"Oh calm down Edward, I got a key from the front desk and someone called, I just happen to answer to let them know you were busy." She didn't even look at me. She stared at her finger nails examining them.

"Who the fuck was on the phone and what makes you think I want you in here?" I spat at her

She looked up at me and flinched like she couldn't believe I said that to her.

"I think it might have been Bella, but who knows?" She smirked at me.

"Get the fuck out of my room before I have security drag you out!" I roared at her.

She looked at me astonished. "Edward, I just-"

Get out now! Don't make tell you again." I glared at her

Tears began to form in her eyes and she ran out of the room. I felt no pity for her. Who did she think she was answering my phone and if it was Bella, oh my god how would I explain that to her?

It was Bella who had called and I immediately called her back. I needed to explain this terrible mess and she needed to know that it was nothing to worry about. I spent the next three hours calling her non stop but eventually it just went straight to voice mail. I left her about 12 messages. Eventually I gave up and somehow fell asleep.


	22. Chapter 22

Thank you for the reviews and for saving me as your favorite author or story. It means so much, I can't say it enough. Anyway we are starting where I left off in last chapter and a lot will come to light and be explained. I don't won twilight yada yada yada!

**CHAPTER 22**

( August 26,2007)

**Bella's POV**

I had let the phone die while Edward continued his assault of calls. I was too numb to speak to him and really what would I say? I had spent the whole day preparing how to tell him about Jake while the whole time he was in Italy with Irina?

I had tried my best to sleep, but that was useless. So I decided around 4am to finally charge my phone and I listened to the onslaught of messages he left. He claimed Irina sneaked into his room and he had thrown her out. Every message was the same pleading and begging me to just call him back.

No this conversation wasn't going to happen while he was 6,000 miles between us. I needed to see him in person and talk this out. Even if it meant that our marriage would be over. So I went online and started looking up plane tickets. I was going to Italy.

**Edward's POV**

It had been exactly 12 hours since I heard a word from Bella. I decided I had left enough messages explaining myself, that when she was ready to speak to me she would. I would be home next week and we could talk about it then if that's what she wanted. I hated not knowing what going through her mind or what she really believed. I hope she believed that I loved her more than anything ,that I would never hurt her like that, but I had hurt her.

I lied about not knowing who was chosen and I shouldn't have. I should have allowed her to come here, I shouldn't have been so afraid. Right now though I needed to focus, at least for the next 6 hours at least. I had to put my doctor face on and forget my personal bullshit in order to save a life.

However it wouldn't be that easy considering who would be standing next to me the whole time. I was scrubbing in for surgery and Irina was standing next to me at the sinks. I just looked straight ahead watching the nurses getting everything prepared in the room in front of me.. I was still pissed at her for thinking she had any right to come to my room, so friendly conversation wasn't going to happen.

But of course she felt the need to open her mouth and say something, but I had no plan to stand there and listen to it.

"Edward." Irina said trying to get me to look at her.

I just kept washing my hands ignoring her.

"Edward, look at me." Her voice sounding hurt.

I didn't look at her or reply, I just simply finished washing up and had my scrub nurse place my gloves over my hands and I walked into the operating room. Never looking back.

I assisted the various surgeons among the group and Irina eyed me the whole time. But I paid no attention to her because this was the one place I turned off the personal and was all professional.

We started working on Nicole around 8am that morning and we finished up around 4pm. It took a little longer than we expected but it was her final surgery . This girl was so young, but such a fighter indeed.

It was around 8:23 pm when I finally left the hospital and went back to the hotel. I had checked my phone the minute I got out of surgery hoping Bella called, but she hadn't. I sighed placing my phone back in my pocket. I decided I would go back to the hotel and change then head out to one of the local pubs and have a drink.

I would be flying home in a few days and seeing Bella was all I wanted. I made it to my hotel room and unlocked the door. What I didn't expect to see was the room lit in candlelight. The only thing going through my head was Irina decided to go for another round of bullshit with me.

I dropped my keys on the table by the door and walked further into the hotel room. That's when I saw her laying across my bed. Her brown hair spread across the pillows. She laid there in a black lacy pantie set that set my heart and other places on fire. DAMN! Her creamy skin blended into the beige comforter. She looked up at me biting her pouty little lips with her knees spread on the bed.

She rubbed her small hands up and down her thighs as I watched with lustful eyes. She released her lip from her teeth as I watched her and the most seductive smile grew on her face. She motioned me over to her with one tiny finger. I just looked at her in utter pleasure not saying a single word. I gave her my crooked smile she loved so much and crawled onto the bed to her.

She was laying back on her elbows just smiling and looking so damn sexy at me. Without a single word I made my way to her face kissing her lips very softly and I could hear a little moan escape her lips. This made me chuckle and I then proceeded to kiss down her neck. I kissed the whole length of her beautiful body.

"Edward." She breathed out when I reached her thighs.

I looked up and knew what she wanted and who was I to deny my beautiful Bella anything.

We made love all night long and finally we both were too exhausted to move. She wrapped her body against me and I held her as close as I could.

"Hey." I said tilting my head to look at her face and she smiled.

"Hey." I kissed the top of her head.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you about Irina coming, I knew you would be upset. I should have told you." I said with great hesitation.

But her words were what caught me off guard.

"I have a confession of my own to make." She pulled herself up so that we were eye level.

I cocked my head at her waiting for her to continue.

She sighed loudly and began to play with a piece of her hair.

"Remember when I told you I was having coffee with a friend." She looked up at me with guilty brown eyes.

I shook my head feeling knots in my stomach. This couldn't be good.

"Well it was not a John, it was Jacob." She bit onto her lip waiting for my reaction. Clearly on the verge of tears.

I shifted uncomfortably against her. I wasn't expecting that. I gulped down some air and just stared at her.

_Would it make me the world's biggest hypocrite to chastise her for having coffee with Jake and hiding it from me after I clearly lied about Irina being here? _I wasn't sure. I never had anything romantic with Irina, but Jake was different, he was someone who tried countless numbers of times to interfere with our relationship.

"Edward please say something." A single tear fell down her cheek.

I took my finger and wiped it away.

"I want to stay calm for you and I want to understand your need to speak to him, but I don't. I can't understand why after all this time you want him in your life." I was trying to keep the anger out of my voice and my face.

"I don't know Edward. I saw him at this bar when I went out with Victoria and he asked if we could be friends and I accepted. I don't know why." She laid her head on my chest.

I thought about this. When was the last time she mentioned to me about going out? I had to think back and I remembered, the night after I left. That was three weeks ago!

"So for the last three weeks you been seeing him? He was there when I called you the other day?" I pulled her up to make her look me in the face.

She looked scared. "Yes."

I looked at her with full on surprise. Suddenly I couldn't breath and I needed to get out of the bed. I gently pushed her off me and got off the bed picking up my boxers off the floor.

I ran my hand through my hair a few times walking back and forth shaking my head. I could feel her staring at me.

"Please Edward look at me." Her sobs coming through.

"_Why?_ I spent the last 24 hours agonizing over what happened with Irina. I been beating myself up over it. While the whole time you were lying to me." I continued to pace.

"I don't know why. He is just easy to be around. He makes me forget." She tried to reach out for me, but I put my hand out to her to motion for her not to touch me.

"_Do I make things difficult for you? Is it painful to be with me?"_ Sudden aggravation building inside of me.

"Sometimes." She whispered.

I immediately turned and faced her. That definitely took me off guard. I knelled in front of her grabbing both her hands into mine.

"Bella, the last thing I ever want is to cause you pain or make things hard for you. I love you so much." I pulled into my arms

"I love you too. I will stop seeing him if its a problem. I don't want to hurt you." She sobbed into my shoulder pulling me tightly to her.

But I had watched her for the last 8 month fall apart. If this helped her, who was I to deny her.

"No Bella, I would rather know about it then have you go behind my back to see him. I don't want to take anything else from you." I pulled away from her sitting back on the floor.

Her face was laced with surprise. Now it made two of us.

"Edward, you don't have to do that. I see this is clearly painful for you. I will end things with Jake." She was feeling conflicted.

Even though her words seemed like she meant what she was saying, her face played another story altogether.

"The thought of you spending time with another man, I don't like it. But if I can't be what you need, what else-" But she shook her her head before I could finish.

"No, you are the only man that I need. You are the only thing I need in my life. Without you my life means nothing. So I will end it with Jake as soon as we get back to Seattle. I never want to see hurt on your beautiful face." She smoothed her tiny fingers across my forehead.

I sighed and climbed back into the bed pulling her into me. We laid there for a while without speaking and I finally heard her breathing even out and I was not far behind her.

**2 Weeks later**

Bella and I were driving down Franklin Street heading to Nova Coast for Bella's birthday. It was her favorite restaurant. It was the same restaurant I made reservations for last year that never happened.

We pulled up into the parking lot and I walked over to her side of the car and opened her door.

She smiled beautifully at me and she stepped out taking my hand. So looked amazing in the dark blue knee length dress she chose.

In the back of the restaurant was a hall where they threw parties for special occasions. Alice and I had worked hard getting things arranged for tonight. I decided what Bella needed was to be surrounded by family and friends.

When the hostess escorted us to the back of the place Bella eyes me with a slight smirk. I just winked at her and shrugged my shoulders. The hostess smiled at us and opened the door. Has we walked in the lights came on and everyone shouted surprise.

Bella jumped slightly at my side and let out a little grunt. She looked up at me with a suspicious look.

I just smiled at her and whispered in her ear.

"Happy Birthday baby." Then I kissed the top of her head.

She sighed and pulled me into her. "Thank you."

Alice ran over to us with baby Claire in her arms and gave Bella a big hug. Everyone walked up to her kissing and hugging her wishing her happy birthday.

The night had played out just as I planned. There was a DJ and people were aloud to go up and shout Bella out and it never got old every time she would blush. Toward the end of the night Bella had made her way up to the DJ and requested a song. The guy nodded at her and she walked over to me.

Leona Lewis Bleeding love began to play. I smiled at her and she began to sing it to me while she danced to my side.

Her eyes sparkled as she looked up at me twirling around me. "I have something to tell you Edward."

I gestured for her to go on.

"I'm pregnant!" Her smile grew largely across her face and I felt the wind being knocked out of me

"Are you serious?" Sudden registration of her words hitting my ears.

"I found out this morning. I am 5 weeks." I picked her up in my arms and swung her around before kissing her passionately.

"Oh Bella, you don't know how happy I am. I'm going to be a father!" I picked her up again and kissed her one more time.

Thank you for reading. I just wanted to get this chapter out to everyone and hopefully everyone likes it. We are going to jump ahead in time next chapter. Let me know what you think. Love you guys out there!


	23. Chapter 23

Here we are at chapter 23, this will be completely in Bella's POV. Thanks for the love and support of my story, it means a lot to me. Twilight belongs to Stephanie Meyers.

CHAPTER 23

(April 2008)

Bella's POV

The last 3 months were like torture to my soul. I was on strict bed rest due to the fact I could miscarriage. I watched every stupid reality show there was and eat basically everything in site. Edward did a wonderful job putting up my mood swings and crappy behavior at times. I loved him so much.

I was due any day now and Edward had taken the next 2 weeks off from work to be at my beck and call. We found out in the 2nd trimester we were having a boy. At first we were going to name him after Edward, but I thought it would be confusing when calling the child. So we decided on Jackson Anthony Cullen.

I was sitting on the couch in the living room while Edward was in the kitchen making lunch. *I watched him looking frustrated at the pan he was cooking the grilled cheese in. I couldn't help to giggle watching him blow the front of his hair from his eyes and try to flip over the sandwich.

I wobbled off the couch to come up behind him and wrap my arms around his waist. I felt a small sigh release from him and I held to him tighter. "I love you Edward Cullen."

He turned his head slightly to look at me over his shoulder. "I love you too Bella. You really should be sitting,I am almost done."

I just stared up at him with a wondrous look. I was so in love with this man. I released my grip on him and leaned by the counter beside the stove and I tried my best at a seductive smile. He looked over at me giving me the mischievous grin of his. He turned off the frying pan placing the sandwich on a plate and walked in front of me.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and reached up the best I could to kiss his lips. "God Bella, you are so beautiful." He placed his hands over my face and kissed me gently.

The worst part of this pregnancy is missing the intense way Edward would make love to me. He treated me like a fragile doll. I missed his rough side.

He pulled away. "Bella, you should eat before the food gets cold."

I grabbed his arm pulling him back to me. "Don't you want me Edward?" I looked up with sad eyes.

"Of course I do, but I need you to have your strength." He wanted to continue you , but I finished the sentence for him.

"Yes for the baby. But I have needs too and you are doing a lousy job fulfilling them." I pouted crossing my arms over my chest.

He let out an exhausted sigh. "Bella, you heard what the doctor said, not too much physical activity, its not good for the baby."

"I am due any day Edward, the only thing a little physical activity will do is send me into labor and what a way to go." A sly smile appearing on my face.

He looked lustful suddenly. He picked me up effortlessly and placed me on the corner. I could feel the excitement grow in my belly and I felt in my eyes. I had on a dress so access was easy for him to gain. He pushed my legs apart and placed his talented fingers on my thighs. I moaned loudly.

"What do you want me to do to you right now." He sounded so sexy.

"Touch me." I whispered.

"Where Bella?" His eyes were so dark.

"Between my legs, please!" I leaned my head back.

I felt his fingers travel up my thigh and rub the front of my soaked underwear. He took one of his long fingers and moved the hem of the garment so that my sex was revealed partially to him.

"Damn, always ready aren't' you?" He growled into my ear while kissing my neck.

"Only for you Edward." I moaned

Suddenly his fingers were thrusting inside me, but its not what I wanted. I wanted more. I didn't need to get ready for him, I had been ready for him. So I took control of the situation.

"I want you inside me NOW!" I basically screamed in his ear.

I pulled my hands in front of him and unzipped his pants pushing them the best I could off considering I had a big belly in front of me.

"Put it in me Edward." I pushed my legs up the best I could and he didn't need anymore invitation than that.

He pushed into me gently, but that just wouldn't do. "Harder Edward." I moaned into his ear and he did what I said.

It felt wonderful having him so deep inside of me. He thrusted harder and harder. He definitely missed that part of our relationship too. I could feel myself so close to the edge.

When I was about to release suddenly I felt a flood between Edward and me.

"God Bella, you never been so wet before." He growled going deeper into me.

Then I released my water broke. I had contractions for the last few days, but nothing too painful or out of the ordinary.

But after I felt the gush from inside of me, I got the worst pain ever. "EDWARD STOP!" I was screaming in pain no more pleasure.

Immediately he pulled out and had a look of terror on his face.

"Bella, oh my god did I hurt you? I knew this was not a good idea." He came and started rubbing my belly.

I smacked his hand away. No you idiot, my water broke, I',m going into labor!" I looked at him like he had three heads.

It took him a minute to recover from the insult then he pulled me off the corner and walked me over to the door.

"Oh my god, we need to get you to the hospital now." He was looking around panicked

"Yes that is obvious, oh lord, come on I grabbed his hand and led him out the house. He grabbed his keys and he carried me to the car.

Edward drove like a mad man cursing and yelling at people. If I wasn't in so much pain, I would have found the humor in his behavior.

I was in labor for about 45 minutes and we welcomed our new son Jackson into the world. The birth went without a hitch and Edward got to hold him first. I watched him holding out son and I never thought I ever saw him look at me like that. He was in utter love with our new son. I rocked him back and forth in his long strong arms then gently walked to me. He placed Jackson in my arms and I got to see our beautiful son for the first time.

Only a few minutes old I could see Edward in ever feature of our son. He had Edward's copper hair. His eyes were still very dark, so color would be determined later. He was a little Edward and I was more in love than I ever thought I could be.

Yes this was a short chapter, I just wanted to get something out to you guys. Just so I can point this out, I am a blessed mommy myself. I have 2 kids and I was only in labor for 20 minutes with them both. Its called working out while pregnant, does wonders for your body. So I had a little writers block, but hopefully we can clear it up soon. I think I am only going to write about 3 more chapter, haven't decided yet, but let me know what you think. See this was a happy chapter lol


	24. Chapter 24

Sorry for a long wait, but life took priority. I had a bit of writers block also. Having 2 kids and a full time job, its a lot to handle lol, but I hope you like what I have for you here. Here is chapter 24. I always forget to warn about the lemons, so this has them lol. We are coming close to the end, about 2 more chapters...

**CHAPTER 24**

(2009 April)

Bella's POV

It was Jackson's first birthday and me Alice, and Esme were all in my kitchen getting the food ready for the party later this afternoon. I couldn't believe its been a year already.

Jackson had gotten so big already and he reminded me so much of Edward. He was Edward's mini me to be exact. I saw very little of myself. He had beautiful green eyes like his father and that copper hair. He was speaking some words, of course his first word was Dada.

Edward just adored him. When he would come from work the first thing he did was play with Jackson. He bathed him every night and put him to bed. Edward helped me out so much knowing I spent my whole day caring for our son. I was finally getting my happy ending.

"Bella where do you want me to put the hot food?" Alice asked from across the kitchen.

"Emmett set up a table in the back yard for it, you will see it." I sighed finishing up the cake.

Edward, Jasper, Carlisle and Emmett were in the backyard setting up the tables and chairs while Rose was in Jackson's room with the other kids .EJ and Claire were both turning two this year, it just amazed me how quickly they had all grown.

We finished up with the food and all the guest began to arrive. I chatted with my parents and with other friends of ours. Jackson didn't really have any idea what was going on, but he looked to behaving a good time.

I loved watching Edward looking like the proud father carrying our son around and introducing him to random people. The party had been great.

Edward's parents and mine helped clean up after-wards and left a little after 10pm. Jackson had long been asleep from all the excitement of the day.

I stood in my son's doorway watching Edward leaning over his crib looking adoringly at his son. He didn't realize I was standing there. I listened why Edward spoke softly to Jackson.

"You know you are the most amazing thing ever to happen to me. Well except for your beautiful mother. The two of you are such a priceless gift to my heart. I would just die without you. I hope you have your mother's heart when you grow up because she is so loving and special." He rubbed Jackson's sleeping face and smiled.

"I think you have a great heart too." I smiled at my sexy husband.

He looked up from the crib and walked over to me in the doorway kissing my forehead.

"I didn't even know you were standing there." He smirked at me.

"Its okay you were caught up in the moment." I kissed his lips and pulled him into the hall and shut the baby's door.

"Bella thank you for our son, he is just everything." Edward pulled me and held me tight.

I wrapped my arms around his back loving how he felt in my arms.

"Thank you for being a great dad." I smiled against him.

"Come." He commanded pulling away grabbing my hand.

We walked into our bedroom and he led me to our bathroom. I walk in to find candles lit on our jacuzzi tub and a bowl of strawberries to the side. I also noticed the tub was filled with steamy water and bubbles.

I had been so busy cleaning up that I had no idea Edward never snuck away to plan all this. It made my heart melt. It was such an Edward thing to do.

"You did this for me?" I looked at him with surprise.

"I did it for us. I figured we could use a romantic moment." He gave me his sexy smile.

My knees went weak. God he was so beautiful to look at. It made my eyes hurt sometimes.

He walked behind me and lifted my hair off my neck and placed a soft kiss on my pulse point. He bit into the sensitive skin gentle with his teeth. A moan escaped my lips.

Having a one year old takes a lot away from your love life. You have to wait hand and foot on this little person and it leaves very little time for adult play. We would have a quickie here and there, but it had been along time since we had a nice night like we were about to.

"Take your clothes off." Edward whispered into my ear.

I shivered in response and began to eagerly remove my shirt, but he grabbed my wrist and turned me to face him.

"Take them off slowly, show me." His voice dripping with seduction.

He pulled me over by the toilet and he sat down in front of me. I stood in front of him and slowly removed my long sleeve top. His eyes were carefully roaming over my chest. I topped the shirt on the floor.

Then I carefully and slowly unbuttoned my pants pushing them to the floor.

I had on a red lace bra and matching boy shorts. I really had worn a lot of lace since having Jackson because looking sexy in lingerie had been the fartherest thing from my mind. I had long removed my shoes and socks earlier.

I kept my eye contact with Edward and he sucked in a loud breath once I was just standing in my under garments.

"God you are so fucking sexy Bella." He groaned while roaming my body with his eyes.

I just smiled at him trying to remove the bra when his voice interrupted me.

"Let me do that for you." His sexy smirk returning.

He pulled me closer to him and then onto his lap. He rubbed at me shoulder and slowly removed the bra straps. He kissed my left shoulder first slowly with his tongue and I let out a small groan. He repeated the same action with my right shoulder.

Once both straps were off my shoulders he moved his hands around the back to unclasp the bra. It fell to the floor and his hands cupped both my breasts. He kneaded my nipples in his skillful fingers making me wetter and wetter.

He knew exactly what he was doing. He removed on hand from my chest and replaced it with his lips, sucking gently. I threw my head back enjoying the pleasure he was giving me. Abruptly he stopped, getting to his feet. I looked up at him and he pulled his shirt over his head, throwing it to the floor.

My hands instinctively went to his perfectly sculpted chest. I rubbed my hands up and down it, loving the smoothness and the warmth of his skin.

"I think its time we enjoy that bath I drew." He looks down at me.

I slid off my underwear and before I even know it, he is completely nude. Only Edward could undress in a flash. He stepped into the tub first and guided me in. He sat down and pulled me into his chest with my back against him.

He had a hair clip sitting on the side of the and he pulled my hair back on top of my head. He picked up the bowl of strawberries and gently brought one to my mouth. I took a small bite out of it and watched his face carefully.

He was in a trance watching my mouth. It was such a turn on. I finished the strawberry in his hand and grabbed my own to feed him. He took a bite out of it and I almost passed out watching his lips wrap around the fruit.

Smirking at me, he knew exactly what I was thinking.

"Bella turn and face me." I turned to look him dead in his eyes.

His green pupils burned with desire and lust and love. All the love I felt for him, it reflected back at me from him. I placed my hands on his cheeks and brought his mouth to mine. We kissed slowly, then it grew more forceful.

I felt his hands snake around my back and he pulled me onto his lap, water and bubbles going all over the floor. I straddled his lap never breaking the passionate kiss and he easily slid inside of me. I took control seeming the position and place we were in, it was only natural.

I slowly rose and came back down gently onto his throbbing dick. I never seem to get tired or used to feeling him inside of me. He took the clip out my hair and tugged at my hair hard. He lifted me out of the tub and carried me to the bed without ever losing the connection of our bodies.

He laid me on the bed and thrusted hard into me until I came undone.

"Fuck Bella, you feel so good." He groaned into my ear.

Then a few moments later he came yelling my name. We fell comfortably asleep after-wards.

When I woke up the next day I could hear the loud thrumming of rain on the roof. I turned to look at the alarm clock to see what time it was. It was already 9:30am. I normally slept until around 7am because Jackson would be wide awake and hungry.

But Edward was off this weekend for the babies birthday, so he let me sleep in. I rubbed my face and went to use the bathroom. Once I finished up, I walked out into the kitchen and saw Jackson in his high chair and Edward feeding him breakfast.

I smiled watching my two boys enjoying time together. Jackson was laughing at his father, who was making funny noises with the spoon pretending it was an airplane.

I walked over and kissed our son and the head and then over to my sexy as hell husband kissing his cheek.

"Well good morning to my two favorite boys, how are we?" I said in a cute little voice

"We are good mommy, how are you?" Edward echoed back to me.

"I am incredible, but I think you already knew that." I gave Edward a sly smile.

He turned and winked at me and Jackson flung some baby food at Edward's face.

I couldn't help but to laugh at my sweet son while he covered his little face with his hand giggling at what he did.

"Jackson, don't do that to daddy." Edward said in a sweet voice.

"Edward did you eat? Do you want me to cook you something?"

"I ate already before I fed Jackson, but thank you baby." He picked Jackson up and walked to the bathroom with him.

I made up a some toast and grabbed a cup of coffee from the pot. After about 30minutes Edward and Jackson both came back into the kitchen clean and redressed.

"So my mom wants to take the baby for the day so you and I can spend some time alone. I have a surprise for you." He smirked at me.

"Oh you mean like the wonderful surprise you gave me last night?" I looked seductively at him.

"Well not quite like that, but you will love it just the same. Hurry and get dressed okay?" He commanded

I walked into the bedroom to find Edward had left an outfit laying on the bed for me. I shook my head thinking how cute he was sometimes. It was a pair of denim jeans and a purple sweater. I took a quick shower and dressed in the outfit.

Once I was dressed and packing the diaper bag I looked out the window and noticed the rain had gotten heavier.

"Edward, its raining pretty bad, you sure its a good idea to drive in this?" I looked at me

"The forecast said it will stop by noon. It will be fine." He adjusted Jackson's jacket and shoes.

I had a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach, but I just brushed it off, thinking maybe I was just being ridiculous. We headed down to the car and I carried the diaper bag while Edwards carried our son placing him in hi car seat.

Carlisle and Esme only lived about 15 minutes across town and for a Sunday, traffic was light. I assumed that had a lot to do with the weather. We made it to Edward's parents house and were greeted by the gate to their estate.

I thanked Esme for watching Jackson and she waved me off, telling me she loved spending time with her grandson.

Once we were back in the car I turned to Edward. "So handsome, where are we going?"

He briefly looked over to me and I could see him smiling. "Forks."

I looked at him with surprise. We hadn't been to Forks in along time. My parents had long moved from their after I got out of school and moved closer to the city. However Esme and Carlisle still owned their house there, renting it out to a young married couple.

"Why are we going there?"

"I wanted to see something. Relive a moment." His voice sounding cheerful.

I knew he would keep being vague, he was great for that when he didn't want me to know what he was up to. I just sighed and stared off at the scenery at we drove.

True to the weather man, it had stopped raining once we got to Forks. I looked at the town when he entered and in 7 years of not being here, nothing seemed to change. I noticed the streets Edward took and I realized where we were going._ To my old house._

I looked up at him confused when we pulled up in front of my old home. My dad sold the house right after I finished college and he retired from the police force. He had moved to a condo in the city. Someone else lived in this house now.

"I was remembering things and I wanted to show you something, I knew only you could appreciate." He smiled brightly at me.

I smiled back to encourage him to continue.

"In this very spot I parked my car the night of your graduation. It was the first time I kissed you." He looked so in love at that moment.

"I could never forget." I smiled back at me touching his face and kissing him softly.

"Then in that very same night, you told me you wanted me." He got out of the car and to my side and opened my door for me.

I stepped out and followed him a few feet down the side walk.

He pointed to my old bedroom window. "That was the room you gave me your virginity. The first time we made love."

I blushed thinking about it. He walked over and wrapped his arms around my waist kissing the top of my head.

"Lets go, I got something else I want to show you." We got back into the car.

We drove down the rode of his parents home. We pulled up to the house and we parked where he usually would park his car when he lived here.

"Do you remember the night of the party when your truck wouldn't start?" He raised his eyebrow at me.

I did remember it and I could replay how he walked over to me twirling his keys around his finger. It seemed like a coincidence that he knew my truck wouldn't start.

"Yes, that's what led us to the moment in your car. I got to kiss Edward Cullen." I shook my head at the memory.

"I broke your truck on purpose, so I could drive you home and get to spend some time with you." He smiled guilty at me.

I gaped at him. I never thought it had anything to do with him, but he just admitted he broke my car, on purpose, just to talk to me.

"I can't believe you did that." I looked at him shocked

He looked amused by my expression.

"I want to show you something else." He got out and I followed suit.

We walked up to the house and he just walked in. I felt this was awkward since someone else I didn't know, lived her. Apparently though, my Edward knew them well.

"Don't worry, not breaking at laws, they knew I was coming." He chuckled at me, like he knew exactly what I was thinking.

We walked into the living room which looked more modern than it did 10 years ago. We walked over to the fire place and I instantly knew what memory he was reliving. Our engagement.

I remember I had told him, I imagined saying no, but I am so happy I said yes.

I thanked him for the lovely afternoon and taking me to different places and reliving some of the best moments of my life.

"Edward, why did you do this?" I asked out of curiosity.

"I just wanted you to know that I never forgot a single second of what brought us to where we are today. That my love formed so long ago. How much I kept in my heart for you."

His admission warmed me. I had loved him so long and so much, it meant everything to me he left exactly the same.

The rain picked back up once we got on the interstate to go home. It was so bad you could barely see. Edward was complaining of a serious headache and he offered for us to pull over somewhere until the rain stopped, but I really wanted to get home. So we changed seats and I decided to drive.

Suddenly I see a caution sign blinking up warning of slick road conditions. I laughed to myself, of course its going to be slick on the road, its raining. However, I didn't expect was the deer that shot out in front of me.

"OH FUCK BELLA WATCH OUT!" I heard Edward yell

I tried to swerve around it to avoid hitting it, but I ended up losing control of the car instead. I could hear Edward shouting something, but all I was concerned with was getting control back of the car.

But I couldn't gain control, instead I hit a telephone pole and smacked my head against the steering wheel. I could hear the faint sound of glass breaking and Edward's tortured scream, then I lost consciousness.


	25. Chapter 25

Okay so my story took an interesting twist in my mind, so I actually think I made my story line better. I don't know about the rest of you, but happy Bella and Edward doesn't always leave us with a great story, does it? I'm all about the angst, I live for it when I read over stories, so I'm giving you a ton of it. I said I would be ending this story soon, but with my new plot twist, it may be a little longer. I don't own twilight just my story line, let me know what you think. I will explain the accident, but not in this chapter.

**CHAPTER 25**

(September 13,2009)

Bella's POV

I sat on the edge of my bed just looking out at nothing, feeling nothing. The world around me was pure emptiness. I felt pain a lot in my life. So much more than I wish._ But this pain?_ This pain was like nothing I ever thought was possible. I felt numb and a numbing pain was unbearable.

You know when you can't feel your limbs when they fall asleep, but they slowly begin to tingle like pins and needles. That was my entire body intensified. I should be grateful they keep telling me. So grateful for my life. I should be so blessed to be alive. _Why when my only reason to live wasn't here with me?_

Life with Edward was a gift. He was a gift. He always told me he was lucky to have me, but I was the lucky one. He was angel. He would be so loving and attentive whenever I didn't deserve it. I pushed him so much into breaking, but he just would bend over for me. He worshiped me.

I unconsciously rubbed my hand across Edward's side of the bed. It radiated no heat. Nobody had laid there in a long time. I let out a heavy sigh picking up his pillow to my face. I inhaled his scent deeply into my lungs. I wish I could take the pillow and smother my face with it.

A sound echoed from the corner of the room and I turned my head in that direction. The baby monitor was blinking red and I could hear Jackson's crying. I dropped the pillow back on the bed and slowly stood up walking to the door. I turned the handle and looked back over the bedroom. I shook my head and walked out.

I made no real effort to walk to the baby's room. I dragged my feet across the cool wood floors, like I was a ghost drifting along. When I reached the door of my son's room I noticed he was in hysterics. I quickly composed myself for him and picked him up rubbing his little back in my arms.

"Shh Jackson baby, mommies here. I love you, don't cry my angel." I cooed trying to calm him.

He put his little head on my shoulder and his sobs seemed to quiet. "Daddy" He looked up at me with sad little eyes.

"Shh sweetie, I know I miss daddy too." I could feel the tears running down my cheeks.

"Bella?" My mom called from the doorway.

"Is he okay, you want me to take him?" Renee came rubbing my back.

"No he is fine mom, I will get him back to bed, you go to sleep." I tried not to look at her.

"Okay baby, if you need me, I'm here." She kissed my cheek and then Jackson's and walked out.

I bit down on my lip to avoid more tears to stream. I walked over to the rocking chair in the corner of the room and sat down. I tried to rock Jackson to sleep or at least get him comfortable. I rubbed his head and ran my fingers through his copper hair.

"You are so much like your father you know. I love you with all my heart. You easily make me love you, just like him." I continued to rock back and forth with my now sleeping child.

Without realizing it, I must have dozed off myself. I could see the sun shining through the window of Jackson's room. However now I was draped with a blanket and my arms were empty of a child. My first thought was, I dropped him. I frantically looked on the ground for any sign of my son, but he was not there. I walked over to his crib, but it was empty also.

I could hear my mother off in the distance speaking baby talk, so I breathed out a sigh of relief. Renee must have taken him from me when I unawarely fell to sleep. I picked up the blanket and folded it neatly, placing it on the back of the chair. I walked out of the room and went to the kitchen.

"Hey looks who's awake." MY mom's voice rang out from across the kitchen.

"Momma." Cheered Jackson clapping his little hands.

It brought a smile to my face and a tear to my eye. Damn I did a lot of crying lately. I walked over to my son and kissed his nose and he rubbed his little hands on my cheeks.

"I love you handsome little man." I smiled wholeheartedly at him.

"Looove you too mama." We snuggled noses for a minute.

"So Bella, what are your plans for the day?" My mother asked over her coffee cup.

I took a seat on one of the stools. "I'm going to the hospital and that will probably take all day."

I was looking down the whole time, not making eye contact with her. I wasn't in the mood for her judging me, not today.

Renee let out a loud sigh. "I really wish you would snap out of this Bella. I hate seeing you do this to yourself."

"_Snap out of it?_ Are you kidding me? That's my damn husband mom! What do you expect me to do? Not go there? Not see him? You can be so insensitive sometimes." I snapped at her angrily.

I know I was being more harsh with her than I should have been. She was only trying to help me and she was taking time away from her own husband to do so.

"I'm sorry Bella, I didn't mean to-"

"No! Just let it go. I think its time you go back to Florida. I am fine here on my own. I got Edward's family close by, I will be fine, okay?" I tried to reel in my anger.

"I can't leave you like this, you shouldn't be alone right now." She tried to grab my hand, but I pulled it away before she had the chance.

"Go home to your family mom, I will take care of mine." I huffed at her.

She just shook her head. I picked my son up and walked out of the room without another word.

I will admit she was probably right. It took me almost 6 months to come into this house in the first place. It had been so hard without having Edward here. I tried my best to regain myself, to find strength to pull it together, but without my strength here with me, it was hard. Smothering myself with that pillow again shot into my mind.

Sleep never came easy for me, if it came at all. I tossed and turned most nights reliving the events that took him. The accident never left my thoughts for a second. I was slowly coming undone and not in a good Edward mind blowing orgasmic way. I was heading down a dark path I had no control over.

If it wasn't for Jackson, lord knows I would most likely be six feet under. Which most of the time, it didn't seem like a bad place to be. Jackson, my sweet baby. He had no idea why daddy wasn't home, why he never gets to see him. How do you explain to an 18 month old stuff like this?

I had a hard enough explaining it to myself, forget about a child. Lord give me strength, I surely need it. I placed Jackson on the floor with his toys so I could sort through his dresser to find him a suitable outfit for the day.

Today is my birthday, but I asked that nobody really acknowledge it. I wasn't in any type of mood to celebrate, the only thing I could want, well I just couldn't have. I placed my palms on the top of the small dresser and looked straight out the window.

(Flashback)

"Edward what are you doing?" I giggled watching him covered in what could only be flour?

"Well Mrs. Cullen, if you must know, I was baking you a birthday cake. Unfortunately the flour didn't agree with me." He smiled that glorious smile at me.

He was covered head to toe in white. Even his hair was unrecognizable. He had on basketball shorts and a white tee shirt. He was definitely too good looking for his own good. I just laughed shaking my head moving over to see what caused this chaotic scene.

"I um, forgot to add the water before I turned on the mixer." He looked down with guilty eyes smiling.

"Well of course you would do that." I tried not to laugh at me. "Why don't we try this again."

He smiled at me and I helped him mix the ingredients into the mixing bowl. I loved him so much, he was just too sweet for his own good. Once we had the batter all mixed I let him finish and I sat across from him at the breakfast nook.

"Would you like a taste?" He smirked at me

"Sure." So I tried to lean over to take the spatula out of his hand, but he pulled it back.

I looked at him and pouted my lips. He continued to smile that heart stopping grin of his.

"Let me." He took his finger across the spatula getting the mix on the tip and leaned it over to me.

He wants to play games, oh we so can play this game. I leaned in and took his offering finger tip into my mouth. I slowly sucked on it while encircling the tip of it with my tongue. I closed my eyes and moaned in the process.

I heard him groan and I knew I had him. I opened my eyes to a pair of dark burning ones. I slid my mouth off his finger making a popping sound with my lips. I smiled innocently at him.

"You are so evil." He looked at me like he was ready to jump over the corner.

"Whatever do you mean? I was just tasting the delicious cake that my sexy husband made me." I batted my eye lashes at him.

That was all it took for him to jump over the corner and grab me off the stool. He was still covered in flour and he ruffled his hair all over me, covering me as well. I couldn't stop the giggle erupting from me while I tried ot fight him off.

I jumped off my stool and ran to the side of the kitchen where the flour was. He eyed me with his crooked smile and he knew what I was going to do.

"You step any closer Cullen and you will be whiter than a ghost." I teased holding the container with the flour in it.

"You wouldn't." He was definitely testing to see if I would.

"Step any closer and you will find out." I gave my best evil smile.

He definitely was in a playful mood and lunged at me and I dumped the flour over his head. But he was always more quicker than me and grabbed it pouring it all over me. We were both covered in white and so was our kitchen.

Edward and I were laughing so hard and he picked me up and sat me on the corner. Both of us out of breath from laughing so hard he leaned his palms on both sides of me against the corner. His forehead leaning into mine.

"Happy Birthday my beautiful wife. Even covered in flour you are still the most gorgeous creature to me. God I love you." He leaned down and kissed me softly.

"Best birthday ever."

(Present)

Jackson pulled at my leg bringing me back out of my stupor. "Mama, we see daddy today?" He gave me a big grin.

God he looked so much like Edward it drove me insane. "Yes Jackson, we see daddy today."

He gave me a beautiful smile and I gave him one back. I dressed him in the outfit I picked out. Just a pair of jeans with a hooded sweat shirt. Edward had bought him the sweat shirt months ago because it matched one he had.

I took a quick shower and dressed in some jeans and a shirt. I kept it simple. _He_ liked simple. I blow dried my hair and put on my sneakers. My mother was waiting in the hall with Jackson. She was putting on his little yellow rain coat. Of course it was raining, it always rained here.

We got downstairs and I just stared at the car. I always got this jolt of fear whenever I was near a vehicle. After the accident, I couldn't drive, especially in the rain. I just stood there dumbfounded staring at the Volvo parked in the driveway.

"I'll take that as I am driving this time?" Renee chimed from the back seat where she was strapping Jackson into his seat.

I just nodded and she sighed slipping her arm around my neck. "It will get better Bella, one day." She kissed my cheek and we both got in.

The ride was silent, which most of the time it was. I couldn't be in a car for long periods of time. I was begin to have a panic attack. Always flashes of the glass broken and the ground slick flashing in my mind. I hated feeling this way. I wish some little pill could remove it from my head.

About 15 minutes later we pulled in Seattle Hospital and I helped Jackson out of the back seat of the car. I knew it seemed wrong somehow bringing my 18 month old son here, but he needed to see his father. Who was I to deny him?

We got our visitor passes from the front desk and walked to the elevators. I pressed the button for the 5th floor and we rode in silence. Once the bell binged that we were on the desired level, Renee excused herself to make a phone call.

I made my way slowly to room 243. That damn room. I couldn't wait to see the person in it, but I always dreaded what happened once I walked inside. Those eyes would stare at me. Those eyes I loved so much, but no emotion for me laid in them. The most heart breaking part, he didn't love me. I didn't know how to accept that part. I don't think I ever could.

I walked over to the nurses station to sort out my favorite nurse, Anna. She was the same nurse we took care of me when I was sick before my miscarriage. She was such a wonderful woman. Turns out she has a daughter the same age as me, so I looked at her at a motherly figure. She was there filing some papers and I cleared my throat when I approached.

"Bella and Jackson, how nice to see the two of you. How are we doing today?" She spoke so sincerely

"We are here, I guess that's saying something." I tried to smile the best I could for her, but it was not easy.

I bit my lip staring at her knowing without even speaking, she knew what I wanted to ask.

"He is still the same Bella as the last time. I really wish I could tell you something better than that." She looked worried and concerned, but I shook it off quickly.

I wasn't sure what I expected her to say. Oh yes Bella, today he is a brand new man, all shiny and new. He is not a toy Bella. I yelled internally. I nodded my head and walked to the room.

I was finally standing with Jackson in my one arm and his diaper bag in the other standing outside the door. I tried my best to pull it together. _Please let today be different. Please let today be a good day._

I swallowed the lump in my throat and did my best to not cry. I stuck my head up high and pushed open the door. I walked into the room and my eyes instantly fell on the man sitting on the bed. He was engrossed in something on the TV and hadn't heard me come in. Or rather ignored me when I came in.

A lot of the time he did ignore me when I came to visit. It was the hardest part, but not entirely his fault. It was getting better, but it was hard. I approached cautiously. He tended to get upset easily and I had Jackson today, I didn't want to chance any unneeded emotional outbursts.

The room was quite large and spacious. He definitely had a lot of privacy here. It almost would resemble a college dorm room. When your father is the chief of medicine, accommodations can be made to fit..

He was wearing jogging pants that were dark green and a white and green stripped shirt that matched. He was laying across his not so hospital bed with his arms behind his head. Even though he was trying to look like he was paying attention to the screen, I knew he was somewhere else. Just like I always was.

"Hi Edward." I tried to all but stutter it out.

I waited for him to respond, but his eyes never left the screen. I could feel the tears pooling in my eyes, but I tried my best to not let them fall. I placed Jackson on the floor and put the diaper bag on the chair.

Immediately being let go Jackson ran over to Edward's bed and tapped his little hand on Edward's leg. Even if Edward wouldn't respond to me, he never ignored his son. When I got closer to the bed to see the screen, he automatically turned the station.

"Hey there little buddy, how are you? I missed you so much. Come sit with daddy. We can watch cartoons." He smiled brightly at our son and swooped him up into his lap.

Jackson giggled and hugged Edward's neck tightly. "Daddy me missed you." He placed his hands on Edward's cheeks and kissed him.

My heart nearly broke at the sight. Even if he couldn't stand to look at me, at least he didn't take it out on Jackson. I sunk down into the recliner next to the bed and folded my hands in my lap. I watched my two boys talking and laughing about what was on the television.

"Have you had breakfast yet?" I didn't look up to see his facial expression.

"You know they bring my breakfast around 8 Bella, why are you asking such an unnecessary question." I could feel him rolling his eyes at me.

His tone was clipped as usual. He seemed rather annoyed by my presence. But it always seemed that way. His mood changed so much I couldn't keep up. The doctors said he was getting better, but I couldn't see it.

"I was just tying to make conversation." I mumbled trying not to cry

I heard his long drawn out sigh. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to snap at you."

I just nodded my head in acknowledge of his answer.

"Bella, please look at me when I talk to you." His voice straining.

I looked up and caught a glimmer of his green eyes. They were not the same pair of eyes I loved. These eyes looked lifeless, emotionless. No loved filled them when he looked at me. Since the accident, he never held any love for me.

That's all it took for me to lose it. I couldn't hold the tears in anymore. He threw me over the edge. The sobs just ripped out of me uncontrolled.

"Why are you crying now?" His voice was filled with annoyance.

I stood up without a single word and walked out of the room into the hallway, closing the door behind me so Jackson wouldn't get out. I needed a moment to myself. To be away from him. Him being Edward. He was not my husband anymore. I had no idea who this cold hearted person was, but he was not my Edward.

I sunk to the floor against the wall near his room and Anna came running my side. I put my head in my hands and just cried.

"Bella sweetie, are you okay, can I get you anything?" She kneeled down beside me rubbing my head.

"I'm sorry, I do this every time I come here. I just I can't see him like that, its too painful." I wiped my tears with the back of my hand.

"Its the trauma dear, it's the worst part of all this. He has a terrible head injury, you need to understand that." Anna said it like it would make everything in the world right.

Nothing could make this right, only if it made him better. I composed my self and stood wiping the rest of the tears off my face. I thanked Anna for her kindness cause I knew she was only trying to help. I walked down the hall and got a cup of water.

I walked into the waiting area and took a seat. It was practically empty. I just sat back and took in everything that had gone wrong these past few months. It seemed Edward was happy to see everyone, except me. I took a cleansing breath and collect myself.

Slowly I walked back down the hallway to Edward's room and peeked in carefully to make sure Jackson wasn't near the door. Edward was standing by the big window holding Jackson in his arms. The hospital sat next to where the ferries descended from and it was just a lovely view.

I could hear Edward's velvety voice speaking softly to Jackson about the ferries and how wants to take him on a bigger boat. They interacted so beautifully, it almost felt normal. But Edward was anything but normal and I needed to remind myself of that.

I sat back down into the recliner and let the boys interact while I flipped through a magazine. I hadn't even realized I had drifted off to sleep until I felt a shake on my shoulders. I instantly jolted up and was met with Edward's green irritated eyes.

"Jackson is hungry, I wanted to take him to the cafeteria. I just wanted you to know since you fell asleep." He didn't smile or anything.

"I can take him. I should get something too." I began to stretch out of the chair but Edward stopped me.

"I ordered your food. They just forget to send his. Don't worry I'm not going to run off with him." His tone was condescending and very unwelcome, but I bit my tongue.

"I never thought you would." I said in whisper

He just looked at me and picked Jackson up and walked out of the room. After I heard the door shut behind him I stood to look and see what he had ordered me for lunch. He treated me so cold, yet little things like food and sleep, he always made sure I had. It was the only part of him that I could see that was left.

I lifted the lid off the plate and was surprised to see a slice of mushroom pizza, it was my favorite. I smiled at the gentle thought. Some things never change. I sat on his bed and took a bite of the pizza and I leaned over his night stand to get a tissue when I noticed a DVD case sitting next to it.

I placed the pizza back on the plate and picked up the DVD case. This must have been what he was watching when I came in. Engraved in small white letters on the front of the cover said _Edward & Bella's Wedding 2004._

I ran my fingers over the delicate letters on the cover. I opened the case up and it was sure enough empty. He must have been watching this when I came in, that's why he was so quick to turn it off when I approached. My heart ached in my chest. Could he be trying to regain what had been lost?

The thought went as quickly had it come. Of course he wasn't, he wasn't mentally capable of that right now. I just need to be supportive, that's all this is. Support your man Bella, be there for him. You will get through this. I came back to reality quickly remember he was coming back soon.

I didn't want him to know I had seen the case so I made sure I left no evidence or that would be a conversation ending with me in tears and Jackson scared. I finished the pizza, which I knew was definitely not from the hospital and placed the now empty tray by the door.

About ten minutes later Edward and Jackson returned with what looked to be grilled cheese and fries. Jackson had a high chair here and Edward placed him gently into it. He placed the food down on the tray for Jackson and sat down looking exhausted on the bed.

The urge to ask him if he was okay was overwhelming for me. I knew if I asked I would only get a snide remark, so I didn't bother. If he wanted interaction, he was going to have to want to talk to me.

How he did it every-time was beyond me, but it was like he was reading my thoughts.

"I didn't sleep well last night. They had to sedate me again." Was all he said looking blankly at the wall.

I nodded my understanding. I fiddled with my fingers in my lap, trying not to stare at him. He didn't like when you stared.

"How are things going at home?" He still wouldn't look at me.

"Everything is okay. Your mom bought Jackson a big kids bed yesterday. He really likes it. Its got sponge bob on it." I gave him a shy smile.

"She was by the other day, mentioned something about that." He muttered.

About an hour later I could see both Jackson and Edward looking exhausted. I knew it was time for us to go home, but it always felt wrong leaving Edward here. He belonged him in our bed with our son.

"I think its time I take him home. He had a long day, I"m sure he could use a nap. We could come back after dinner if you want." I was feeling hopeful that he would want us to come back.

"No you don't have to do that. You should take him home so he can relax. Even though I love having him here, its gotta be boring for him." Edward seemed pained by his statement.

"Momma I stay with daddy?" Jackson asked me as I buttoned up his jacket

"Not today buddy, but maybe soon, okay?" I snuggled him in my arms.

"Come here J, daddy wants to talk to you. Bella can you excuse us for a minute?" Edward cocked his eye brow at me.

"Sure I will go and see if you dad is around so he can drive us home." I went to turn but his voice halted me to a stop.

"How did you get here, if you need a ride?" He sounded concerned._ I missed that_

"Renee dropped us off, but she had some packing to do, so I told her I would find my own way home." I tried to give him a smile, but I didn't have it in me.

"You still don't drive?" He looked at me skeptically.

"No." I looked down.

"Bella." He warned. "Look at me when I talk to you."

My eyes shot up to look at him. He was walking over to me holding Jackson in his arms. He looked down at me. His face coming closer and closer to mine. I could feel it, the burn, the pull he had over me. Nobody ever made me feel like this, not even after all the years I have known him.

For a brief moment I thought he would kiss me, but took quickly the look was gone. He handed me the baby and brushed by me to the hall.

"I will find my father, you just stay here with him." Like that he was gone.

Lucky for me Carlisle was just ending his shift and gladly drove us home. The car ride was silent, just like the one this morning with Renee. There was nothing to say.

"He is improving. His memory is getting better, don't you think. He is having less outbursts." Carlisle said nonchalantly.

"He still hates me, so I don't see that as an improvement." I mumbled

"He doesn't hate you Bella. He is just angry, you have to give him time." Carlisle sounded tired.

"I have given him five months. It wasn't my fault Carlisle. I wasn't trying to kill him." I began to cry.

We pulled into the driveway and Carlisle tried to comfort me, but I gave him a small smile and took Jackson into the house.

I made dinner for my son and before I knew it time had flew by. It was now 10pm. Jackson had fallen asleep about two hours ago. I cleaned up any mess that remind from dinner and checked my voice mail.

It was all the same, people asking for Edward or people checking up on me. I never returned calls. If they didn't force their way in here, I didn't bother to call back. Being social wasn't in my interest. I forced myself into it for the sake of my child.

It was around 1 am and I couldn't sleep. I knew Edward would be awake. He always was awake. He looked so drawn out today. He was definitely drugged throughout the night. He wore it all over his face. The scar on his head was healing nicely though. It was getting less noticeable, which I knew he would appreciate.

When they had to cut into his skull, they had left a deep mark on the back of his head, but now it seemed so small compared. I wish he loved me still, but his words burned me the last time I ever dared say them to him. I thought back to that night.

"_Edward, please look at me. I love you, please don't turn away from me." I begged with tears streaming down my cheeks._

"_Well Bella news flash, I don't care! I don't love you! How about that!" He screamed at me._

_I flinched at him. Never had he yelled at me in such a way. Never did he never act so cruel to me. I was dumbfounded._

"_You don't mean that." It came out more questioning than actually stating._

"_You my dear are pathetic. Look at you. Crying over it? Are you fucking kidding me? I'm worthless Bella. Once you realize what a real asshole I am, you will be better off." He was angry, but I didn't understand why._

"_So just for the record so there is no confusion, no Isabella, I don't love you anymore. I don't know how to make that anymore clear for you to understand." He spat at me._

"_You don't want me?" I really didn't mean to say it out loud._

"_No." Absolutely no emotion in his answer. It was clear cut and dry._

"_However, I do love my son very much and I would appreciate if you brought him to see me." _

_All I could do was look at him like he was insane. Which at that moment I realized he was._

Well its my longest chapter yet, tell me what you all think. Its so exciting isn't it?


	26. Chapter 26

I need to laugh a little bit. I never seen so many people get upset when you do bad things to Bella and Edward. You guys really love your characters, but so do I. I love Bella and Edward so much. Stop feeling so sorry for Bella, believe me, there is no need to. I don't own Twilight, only my story line. Just want to point out, I am not a doctor, I however do work for one lol. But everything I will explain to you is **fictional**, I don't exactly know if this happens with head trauma, I'm just making it up as I go.

CHAPTER 26

(APRIL 2009)

I opened my eyes slowly. My head was throbbing with pain and I could hear the sound of heavy rain falling all around me. I tried to adjust my eyes realizing, I was in the car. I touched my forehead with my hand and winced in pain. I brought my hand back down and it was covered in blood.

I turned to look at the passenger's side and noticed Edward was no longer sitting there. I turned my attention to the windshield that had a huge crack in it and blood smeared across it. Instantly I got frantic and looked at the passenger door, noting it was open.

My airbag never deployed which means it would explain the head wound. I must have smacked my head off the steering wheel. I unbuckled my seat belt and pushed the door open and went outside.

When I reached the front of the car, the site I was left with made my stomach turn and my heart die. Edward was laying face down on the pavement, blood oozing from under him.

I immediately ran to him trying to lift him up. "EDWARD!EDWARD!" I couldn't stop screaming and the tears wouldn't stop falling down my face.

It was raining so hard and he was laying in my arms not moving, not breathing. _What had I done?_

I began to scream for help, realizing nobody would hear me. I kept yelling to him to wake up, to look at me. For any sign he was still alive. I placed my head on chest to listen for a heart beat or any breathing.

I tried to do some CPR on him, hoping that it would help. He couldn't die on me, he couldn't leave me. I would die myself without him. In the distance I could hear sirens.

Before I knew what was happening an ambulance pulled up and they immediately pushed me away and started working on Edward. I was just standing there in hysterics asking for someone to tell me if he was alive or not.

I heard one of the paramedics say she had a faint heartbeat but his vitals weren't very good. They had him on the stretcher and in the ambulance before I could even register everything.

"I'm his wife, I want to go with him. Please, is he going to be okay?" I was shouting and crying.

"Get her in the other ambulance, look at that head wound." One of the men said.

"NO, I want to go with him please!" I screamed through my tears

I rode in the ambulance with Edward after much pleading and begging. Edward's face was so bloody and bruised up, I barely recognized him. His head had a huge gash in the back of it. He had been unconscious for I don't know how long.

Now I realized what it felt like for him when it was one on the other side of this situation. This wasn't Carlisle's hospital, so knowing exactly what was happening upstairs was unknown to us all. I was waiting for Alice to arrive with her parents.

They had put a couple stitches into my head, but other than that I was okay, thankfully for my seat belt. Edward wasn't so lucky. He had sustained various injuries that I was still not completely clear on. All I heard out of the doctor's mouth was brain dead and possible bleeding in the brain stem.

Everything else was hazy after that news, so I figured I would wait for Carlisle to arrive and he would find out the full extent.

The police had tried to speak to about what happened, but I was more like a mute. All my mind could think or process was the fact I almost killed my husband. Even if it was completely unintentional, I couldn't shake it. All I could see every time I closed my eyes was Edward's mangled body laying on the ground. Him covered in blood.

I had thrown up about 6 times at this point. I leaned my head against the toilet trying to gain control of my stomach.

"Bella, are you okay in there? Do you want me to get you some water?" Alice asked in a shaky voice.

"Please just find what if anything changed with Edward ,please?" I could feel the tears slid down my face

Okay was all she said and I heard the bathroom door close. Last thing I needed was someone hanging all over me. I had a one year old at home to think about, but Jackson was not processing my thoughts. Then reality struck me. What if Edward doesn't make it through? How will I raise our son who looks exactly like him alone? How could I look at that face and not break down?

There was so much dread running through my head and I didn't know how to control it. We had been at the hospital at least 7 hours by now. Nor knowing exactly how he was doing was killing me slowly.

Carlisle tried to get an update every so often, but all they could tell us was he was still in surgery. He was having multiple organ failure, things were looking bleak at this point. I was hyperventilating without even realizing it and suddenly everything went black.

The next thing I remember was waking up in a hospital bed with wires all over me. My head was throbbing again and I was hoping maybe the last few hours were just a dream, but soon I was brought back to my nightmare of a reality.

I opened my eyes to see Alice on a small couch in the room with Jasper's head in her lap. I moaned a little when I moved from the stiffness my body was feeling.

Alice's eyes immediately perked up and she shook Jasper to alert him I was awake. He rubbed his eyes and took his head off Alice's lap. Alice stood and walked over to my bed and sat beside me.

"Oh thank god you are alright! You passed out and we weren't sure if you would wake up anytime soon." She cooed rubbing my head gently.

The only thought that was running in my mind was Edward.

"How is he Alice? Is he okay? I need to see him." I tried to get out of the bed, but Alice pushed me back into the pillows.

"You will get to see him as soon as the doctor comes and looks at you. He is alive for the most part, but.." Before she could continue she began to cry.

Alice loved Edward so much and to see her so broken up, I knew it was bad. I feared the worst. At least he was alive for now.

"Shh baby, its okay, don't cry." Jasper soothed from behind her.

Alice grabbed onto Jasper's shirt and cried into his chest while he rubbed her back.

"How long have I been sleeping?" I asked looking at them both

Alice tried to regain some poseur and blinked some tears away. "You been out for about 2 days."

My eyes bugged out of my head. TWO DAYS! That was impossible.

"Oh my god! What happened to me?" I began to freak out a bit.

My husband was on his death bed and I missed two days of what had been happening to him. I felt like someone was pulling my hair out of my head. Someone was, _me_.

"You had a concision. from hitting your head and being so sick, it just took over you, but from what they say, you are fine." Alice grabbed my hand in hers rubbing circles on it.

"Can you get the doctor now, I need to see Edward." I practically begged.

"I will go find him, stay with her." Jasper kissed Alice's head then mine and walked out of the room.

"Jackson is with your mother at your house. She wanted to stay up here with you, but she was also worried about the baby." Alice said

I nodded my head at her.

"He's pretty messed up isn't he?" I asked Alice knowing what her answer would already be.

"Its bad, I'm not going to lie to you. We had a couple of close calls with him so far." She looked so hurt and lonely in that moment.

I'm sure her face reflected mine. Edward was everything to us both. I couldn't live without him. After a few more moments of silence Jasper returned with a doctor in tow.

"Well its good to see you awake Isabella. I'm Dr. Peters, I been looking after you. How are you feeling my dear?" He was an older doctor with full gray hair and some facial hair. He reminded me of mattock.

"I feel fine, my head is a little sore, but I will be fine, can I see my husband now?" I gave him eager eyes.

"Just let me check your vitals and we can see if one of the nurses will escort you to his room." He gave me a warm smile.

I shook my head in agreement and allowed him to check me out. Everything seemed to be in order so a nurse came in with a wheel chair and took me to Edward's floor. Alice and Jasper excused themselves saying they were headed home to change, but would return in a little while. I thanked them both for staying with me and wished them a safe ride home.

My room was on the second floor while Edward was in the ICU on the 5th floor. I braced myself for the site that would be before me. Alice told me it was pretty bad and all I could do was hold my breath the entire time up.

We came off the elevator and off to the side was a waiting area. I saw Esme and Carlisle both sitting chatting to each other. When Esme caught the nurse she immediately got up and walked out of the waiting area over to us.

"Oh thank god you are okay. I was so worried!" Esme exclaimed bending down and hugging me to her chest.

"I'm fine thank you really. How is he?" I tried not let my voice crack.

She looked down at me with heavy eyes. She looked so tired and worn out. I never saw her like this in all the years I had known her. Her eyes looked very swollen and red,like all she did was cry.

"He is not good Bella. It breaks my heart every time I see him. I can't look for longer than a few minutes." Tears shed from her eyes

I hadn't even noticed Carlisle as approached us until he cleared his throat.

"How are you feeling?" He looked down at me while taking Esme in his arms.

"I'm fine, I just really want to see him." I was getting more and more unnerved by the second.

"Esme, go sit down my dear, I just want to fill Bella in okay?" She kissed his cheek and went back to sit down.

"I will escort her in Beth, thank you for bringing her up." Carlisle smiled fondly at the nurse.

"You're welcome Dr. Cullen." She smiled blushing a bit and walked off.

Carlisle looked directly at me bending onto his knees so we were eye level. "Nothing can prepare you for what you are about to see when you wake in there. I want you to understand this now." He gave a serious stern look

I nodded my understanding.

"Bella he is pretty bad. A lot of internal injuries and a lot of trauma. He is not conscious. He has a breathing tube down his throat and his leg is in a sling over the bed due to a fracture in his kneecap. His face is completely swollen and bruised." He gulped hard

It didn't sound as bad as they all made it seem. I could deal with this site, but its what he said next that chilled me to the bone.

"Bella, Edward he sustained a lot of trauma to the head and we can't be sure the complete affects of it until we get some better scans. We ran extensive MRI's and CAT scans to see what damage as occurred, he does have brain activity, which means he's not brain dead. But he had some swelling and they had to relieve the pressure." He looked me head on and I still wasn't following him.

"They had to cut the back of his skull open to allow the blood somewhere to go in order to get the swelling under control." He looked at me I assumed waiting for a reply.

"So what you are telling me is that a piece of my husband's head is missing?" I wasn't sure how I sounded at that moment.

"Yes, but once the swelling goes down, they will put it back on." He said it matter of factly

"Oh my god." I whispered to myself bringing my hand to my face.

"Okay, lets get this over with please." I tried to hide the pain from my voice.

"Only one person is allowed in here at a time. You are only allowed to stay for 30 minutes at a time and you must wear gloves in order to touch him because he as a lot of open wounds, don't want any infection." Carlisle spoke in his doctor voice, but I knew this was hard on him.

Carlisle wheeled me to the room and placed the latex gloves on my hands. I was shaking like crazy not sure what to expect on the other side of the door. On this floor all the rooms had sliding glass doors. Anyone could see in the rooms unless the patient had the curtain drawn, which in most cases they were.

I would understand wanting my privacy for my loved one at a time like this. My stomach tightened and I wasn't sure if I was prepared to see my Edward so battered, but I had to be strong.

I stood from the wheel chair on shaky legs, but assured Carlisle I was fine on my own. I stepped in front of Edward's room and slowly slid the door open.

His curtain was drawn and I stepped in closer. I could see the shadow of his leg hanging from the ceiling in the sling. I took deep breathes as I pulled the curtain open. I nearly hit the floor at the site before me.

There was no way this was Edward. His head was covered in bandages and a metal pipe looking thing stuck of out of the back of his head. His leg was so black and blue with metal rods sticking out of his knee and his face! I couldn't even recognize who he was. So swollen and bruised. This was the sought of thing you see in a movie, not in real life.

I took unsteady breathes and walked to the chair next to his bed. His hands were badly scratched as well. I sat down slowly into the chair and took his hand into mine. I hadn't even realized I was crying until I felt wetness on my hand.

My beautiful Edward, what had I done? I know it was not my fault, but looking at him in such bad shape, guilt laced through me. Why didn't I just listen when he asked to stop? Why did I have to be so stubborn all the time? He wasn't feeling good as it was, I should have gotten a hotel room.

STUPID!STUPID!STUPID! I muttered over and over in my head. How could I have been so careless with his life. I had no right to be. I tried to think of something to say, something to make it better. But what do you say when your husband could die at any moment and it was your fault?

"Edward, I am so sorry for this. It's all my fault, if I had just listened to you, you would be alive right now. You wouldn't be here,in all this pain and so badly injured." I cringed at myself.

I wanted to throw up, but I needed to be strong for him. I needed to be able to deal with this. He was there for me when I had my accident. Another thing that was my fault. Would he wake up? Would he be able to forgive me? So many unanswered questions.

But what he needed was healing, not me berating myself. I took a deep cleansing breath and searched my head for a beautiful memory. One that I thought he would enjoy retelling. I thought back to the summer before college.

(**Flashback)**

Alice and I were on our way to the airport and all I could think about is how I left things with Edward. I told him I never wanted to see him again, but that wasn't true. Just telling him that burned holes in my head. But I needed to remember, he was engaged, at least I think he still was. Alice had avoided all summer talking about him.

When we reached the waiting area for our plane I had a sickening feeling. I was leaving Washington and I wouldn't be back until Christmas. I promised my mother I would spend thanksgiving with her in Phoenix.. I also knew that the Cullen's would be in Aspen for Christmas, so I wouldn't being seeing Alice or Edward then either. I had no idea when I would see Edward again.

Suddenly I felt panicked by this."Alice when does Edward go back to school?" I said it nonchalant

"He is leaving tonight, his classes start tomorrow, why?" She looked at me questioningly

"I feel bad the way I said goodbye, I just wanted to make it right." I shrugged.

She giggled a little in her seat and took out a piece of paper jotting down something on it.

"Here." She said handing the paper to me.

I cocked my eyebrow at her and she rolled hers playfully.

"Its Edward's campus information. If you want to say goodbye properly, that's how you can reach him." She smiled sweetly at me.

Not that I needed to ask. "Alice what about our flight?" I gave her a confused smile.

"I'm sure that gorgeous guy over there will keep me company. You can just reschedule yours." She eyed the hot blond guy seductively

I just shook my head at her. She smiled at me and we both stood and embraced for a few moments.

"He is my brother and I love him dearly, but if he hurts you, so god help me!" She whispered into my ear.

"I will be fine. I just need to end this Alice on my terms." I picked up my bags and walked away from my friend.

I made arrangements with the ticket counter and changed my flight for later in the week. I figured it would give me enough time to see him and really properly end things. I wanted to surprise him and if what he said when I left was true, seeing me would be a much wanted thing.

I stayed in a hotel the night before going to Edward's apartment. I had to rehearse what I would say and do. I knew his classes started this morning. Alice told me she would give Edward's roommate the heads up about me coming and I was grateful.

I made my outfit casual with just a pair of jeans and a button up top in blue, his favorite color. I wore my hair around my shoulders, just how he liked it. Why was I being so accommodating for a goodbye?

I made my way around the campus trying to locate the building he stayed in. When I finally arrived where I was supposed to be I found a very attractive red head standing in front. I walked over to her and politely asked if she knew him.

"Edward Cullen? Who doesn't know who that god of a man is?" She literally swooned.

Jealous? Hell yes I was!

"His room is on the 2nd floor on the very end on the left." She winked at me.

"Thanks." I said in a small voice.

"I must warn you though, he is a ladies man, just don't think he will make you his girlfriend, he doesn't do girlfriends." She smirked at me.

I just shook my head at her and walked away. Oh he does girlfriends, just not you. I found my way to his door and knew from what Alice said he wouldn't be out of his last class until six. It was only 5:30pm. So I shrugged off my backpack and leaned against his door.

Apparently his roommate had a class until seven so I would be stuck waiting in the hallway until he arrived. The apartments building buzzed with noise of students arriving and leaving and I was so lost in the atmosphere I didn't even realize he was standing in front of me.

His smile was that of a small child on Christmas He was grinning ear to ear at my mere presence. Take that red! He looked unbelievable sexy in his loose fit jeans and yellow polo. I instantly went to jello just looking at him.

I got to my feet to look at him and he just stood there smiling at me. "Hey." Was all I could come up with.

"Hey." He just smirked at me.

Instinctively I wrapped my arms around him and inhaled deeply. Chamomile and Edward, mm.. I leaned up and kissed him and he kissed me back more forcefully. We stood there kissing for a few moments and then he whispered in my ear.

"What took you so long, I missed you." His voice giving me pure chills of pleasure.

Next thing I knew he unlocked the door and I was on his bed. No tour? I was hurt? Well not really. I grabbed tightly onto him has he kissed me with so much fire I thought I might burn. His lips went to my neck and he sucked hard on my pulse point.

"Fuck Edward that feels so good." I moaned in response.

"If you like that you haven't felt nothing." He whispered into my neck.

He pulled my shirt over my head and quickly unclasped my bra. Once my breasts were free and for his viewing pleasure he looked down at my face.

"God Bella, you are such a vision. Do you know how much I want you right now?" His voice was husky.

"Edward please, touch me." I practically begged from under him.

That was all he needed and he continued his onslaught of my body. He moved down to my erect nipples and sucked on one and rubbed the other with his fingertips.

My body responded immediately to him. I could feel myself getting worked up. His mouth finished assaulting my nipples and he trailed kisses down my stomach. He got to the button of my jeans and looked up over the top of it smirking devilishly at me.

I was holding my breath with anticipation. He painfully slow unbuttoned the pants and pulled them off. I eagerly lifted my weight up so he could remove them. All that was left now was my panties.

He nuzzled his nose along the front of the lace and inhaled deeply. "Fuck, you smell so sweet. I could taste you all day."

I let out a short breath. I was a virgin up until a few weeks ago, this was all so new to me, but god was that the most sexiest thing I ever heard. I practically came right then and there.

"Do you want me to taste you Bella?" He looked at me with those fuck me green eyes and I was so far gone I couldn't utter a word.

"I won't do it unless you tell me to. Do you want me to eat your pussy Bella?" His voice was dark and sexy.

"Oh fuck Edward, I love when you talk like that." I screamed out.

I was getting excited over his dirty mouth, he really was very talented. He smirked at me and pulled down my panties. Now my body was fully exposed to him and I felt completely at ease with that.

He took his mouth and placed it over my clit and twirled his tongue around it. I came immediately from this small touch. The orgasm rocked my body hard and Edward kept sucking.

"Fuck Bella, you came off that?" He looked at me mesmerized

Next thing I knew he was naked and positioning himself at my entrance. He pulled a condom from his nightstand and took it from the package and slid it on with ease. I watched him do it so effortlessly, like he done it so many times before.

He gently slipped inside me and I could feel my walls clutch around his huge erection. With one fluid movement he was deep inside of me and another orgasm rocked through my body, more intense then the first. After many moans and orgasm on my part, Edward gave one final thrust and he hit his own orgasm screaming out my name.

After a few minutes of laying in his arms he finally spoke.

"What made you come here?" His head leaning up slightly off the pillow he was resting his head on.

"I needed to see you one last time. To end things on a good note." I quickly diverted my eyes from his gaze.

I rested my head back on his chest and could feel his heartbeat speeding up. He apparently didn't like my answer.

He gently lifted me off his chest and got off the bed. I pulled the sheet up to my bare chest and looked at him perplexed. He picked his boxers up off the floor and paced for a few minutes running his hand through his hair severely times. Then he finally stopped and looked at me.

"So what you are telling me is you came all the way here to fuck me and leave?" He looked so serious and pissed off.

"That was not my intention Edward. I didn't even plan for this to happen." Gesturing between us and the bed.

"Oh yea, sure didn't seem that way. So eager to spread your legs for me." He spat at me.

It took me a minute to recover from the hurt his words caused. How could he act so much like an ass. I thought most guys wanted sex, _right?_

"Why are you acting like such an asshole right now." I said accusing

"Fine, if this is how you want to end things, then okay Bella here you go. It was nice fucking you, now get out." He was definitely living up to the asshole part.

"What?" I looked at him like a bomb hit.

"I didn't stutter. Get dressed and leave, I don't want you here anymore, this was a huge mistake." He was furious at me for what?

"Fine Edward, be a douche, fuck you!" With that I got dressed and left.

(**End of Flashback**)

I chuckled to myself after reliving that certain memory. Not one of our finer moments, but definitely a stupid one. It seemed so serious back then, but now, it was just so childish of us both. It was long forgotten.

He had called me like a million times after that day and I never returned one single call. Maybe if I had, the whole time of being with Jacob Black would never have happened. A low grumble shook me from my musings and I looked at Edward.

He was stirring slightly and I pushed the nurses call button. It looked like he was trying to fight against the breathing tube, which from what I understood was a good thing, he was waking up. A young black haired nurse came rushing into the room looking panicked at me.

"He was stirring, making a weird nose, I got anxious, I didn't know what it was." I looked at her for understanding.

"Well look at that, he is coming awake. I will let the doctor know. But Mrs. Cullen, its time for you to go back to your room yourself. If they remove the tube, I will have them let you know." Her smile was friendly and warming.

"Can I stay please until the doctor can tell me if they are going to remove the tube, please?" I begged with my eyes.

"Its okay Emily, she can stay." Carlisle's sweet voice echoed from the doorway.

The nurse nodded and walked past him.

"Is he waking up Carlisle?" I asked him feeling tears coming

"I think so Bella, I think so."

Thank you for reading and I hope you all liked this chapter. I'm terrible with hospital scenes lol. I figure this chapter was getting lengthy, so I will definitely have to put Edward's recovery in the next one, I love your opinions and reviews so much, it warms my heart a lot. This is my first fic and I enjoy writing and reading them. I'm working on a new one, hopefully out soon, so look for it if you interested


	27. Chapter 27

Okay guys, this will be in Edward's POV so maybe we can get some incite in his head and whats going on with him. I don't own Twilight just my story line blah blah..

**CHAPTER 27**

(September 2009)

Edward's POV

I almost kissed her tonight, _almost_. What was I thinking? I had to realize that part of our relationship was over. I would no longer be aloud to touch her or kiss her or anything. I broke her heart to protect her. I needed her to understand I was no longer the man she married. I was now a monster.

Everyday when I was in the hospital she sat by my bed. She talked to me, she told me how much she blamed herself for my condition. How sick it made her to know it was her fault. But I didn't blame her for this. It was an accident.

When I woke from my coma I didn't remember anything or anyone. With a lot of rehab I was able to regain some of my memories, but a lot of it was still a huge fog hanging over me. What kind of person doesn't remember his wife or child?

However when they first told me I had a son and I met him, I instantly loved him. Who wouldn't? He was just this amazing little person who captured my heart. Plus he was my little twin.

Trying to regain my memory was all I could focus on and sometimes Bella made that extremely frustrating for me. She would constantly nag me about things and force memories of her own on me and that I didn't appreciate. I wanted to remember on mine own, not through her.

The doctors explained I may not remember everything, some things may never come back to me, but I was making great progress. Tomorrow was my 4th treatment of therapy. They were basically wiring my head and zapping my brain.

The jolts were supposed to trigger and stimulate the memory core of the brain, hoping to promote the long term to remember. It was helping because so much came back to me. But for whatever reason, the love me and Bella had shared wasn't one of them. Thoughts of her were there. I remember little things about her laughter and her smell, but being in love? I couldn't find that one.

I had watched countless videos and looked at numerous pictures. I tried everything to stimulate myself to regain those moments with her, but she was a stranger to me. I could see the pain it caused her and I didn't want to burden her anymore. I didn't want to hurt her, but I was killing her slowly without intentionally meaning to.

I was frustrated most of the time and I took it out on anyone who was near. They had no idea how I felt or what it was like not being able to remember your life. What it was like to have had everything one person could ask for and not even recall it happening. I hated myself for that, for being so weak.

Bella always got it the worst from me, but she brought it upon herself. I told her to leave me alone, but she just couldn't do it.

One thing I do remember about her is how stubborn of an ass she was. That kind of made me smile. I wonder what it was like when we were together. Did I always challenge her? Was she always so easily upset with me? I wanted to know, but at the same time I wanted to figure it out on my own.

I would go back to my apartment after my session in the morning. Being in this hospital was the last thing or place I needed. Bella had begged me so many times to go home with her, but it didn't feel like home to me, she was so unfamiliar to me, I wish she understood that.

We had countless arguments over the past few months. She wanted a life I couldn't give her. Hell I couldn't give anyone anything at this point. But she pushed and pushed until I just lost it with her.

I remember our last argument a couple months ago. I had been staying with her in that house. I tired to put it all together, hoping it would trigger me, but all I saw was a life with two people who looked so in love and I wasn't that guy.

It was our anniversary. At that point, I remembered very little about our relationship. She had made such a huge effort with dinner and a romantic setting. I was very grateful to her for trying. She had looked so beautiful in a white dress and her hair around her shoulders. Like a sweet angel.

She made some chicken dish and told me it was my favorite. It was really very good and we kept silent for most of the meal. She went to the stereo and played a song for me. It was slow and sweet. She reached her hand out for me to take.

I stood up and she wrapped her arms around my neck and I placed mine around her waist. We swayed slowly in a circle.

"You were always such an amazing dancer. Always intimidated me." She giggled

Her laughter was so beautiful. It was one of those things she did that always stirred something in me.

"I love hearing you laugh." I smiled down at her.

She gave me a bright smile and pulled me closer to her. She placed her head gently on my chest and I inhaled the top of her head. Her scent ran through my senses and it was so incredible. It felt familiar. I sighed into her hair and held her a little tighter.

She hummed into my chest. I looked down at her and her eyes were closed with angelic smile on her face. Why couldn't I love her? She seemed so utterly amazing.

I pulled away at that moment. I was leading her on and I couldn't do that to her. She didn't deserve that. She looked at me confused and I began to shake my head.

"I can't do this, I just can't give you what you want." I was feeling so torn.

"Edward don't push me away please." Her eyes began to glaze over.

I was hurting her again for like the millionth time.

"Bella you keep forcing me to be the man you married, but I am not him anymore. You need to accept that." I tried to be kind in a less painful way.

She came closer to me and tried to touch my face, but I backed away from her. I just focused on the ground. I couldn't look at the pain in her beautiful eyes.

"Edward, please look at me. I love you, please don't turn away from me." She was crying again.

I didn't love her. I only knew how to put up with her at the moment. So much was missing from my head, why couldn't she understand. Then I just suddenly felt so anger at her.

"Well Bella news flash, I don't care! I don't love you! How about that!" I screamed into the air.

She flinched at the pinch of my voice and I cringed internally. I didn't want to scare the poor girl.

"You don't mean that." It sounded like she was asking me me

I had to hurt her now before this went on any further. She needed to have a clear picture of who she was dealing with. I was no longer loving toward her.

"You my dear are pathetic. Look at you. Crying over it? Are you fucking kidding me? I'm worthless Bella. Once you realize what a real asshole I am, you will be better off." I tried to be the biggest asshole I could at that moment.

"So just for the record so there is no confusion, no Isabella, I don't love you anymore. I don't know how to make that anymore clear for you to understand." I felt somewhat relieved.

"You don't want me?"She whispered it so low

"No." I didn't know her well enough to want her. I needed time.

Then the rational part of me set in. Jackson. What if she took him away, I would die!

"However, I do love my son very much and I would appreciate if you brought him to see me."

She gave me this look like I was crazy, but I guess to her I was.

"See you? You live here Edward." She looked at me with those sad eyes.

"I'm moving out. My father told me about the condo we own downtown, I'm going to stay there for a while. I got a lot to sort out and you keep smothering me. I can't do it." I letting her know, this was over.

"You can't Edward please." She was on her knees begging me.

"Just stop it please Bella, we are done." With that I walked past her and out of the house.

Even if I seemed like a heartless bastard, I wasn't trying to be, but nothing I told her made her listen. She wanted what she wanted and didn't care about how I felt.

Not once did she stop and ask me how I felt or what was going on. She just kept telling me love will get us through this. I borrowed our wedding video last time I was at her house. I watched it trying to understand this man on the TV.

Watching us exchange vows and looking so in love, it was heart wrenching. I wonder what it was she saw in me at that moment. What made me so special she would give her love to me? I definitely didn't deserve it. My nightmares were always of her. She was this beautiful angel who I kept sucking the life out of.

( 2 weeks later)

I pulled up in front of the condo after running errands and no sooner did I get out of my car that a cab pulled up in front. I got out of the car slowly and watched as Bella emerged from the cab with Jackson and some bags.

I quickly made my way over to them grabbing the bags from her hands.

"Just let me put him down and I will get my wallet." She said to the cab driver.

"I got it Bella, take him upstairs." I muttered to her.

She gave me a small smile and walked away. I paid the driver and went to grab the bags she brought over. I placed them in the hallway and went back outside to grab the stuff I had gotten from my car.

Jackson had his own room of course set up for anytime he would come by. It was Friday and he normally spent the weekend with me. That was the divorce agreement. He stayed with her during the week and spent Saturday, Sunday, and Monday with me.

She normally dropped him off Friday night and it was early, even for her to bring him by. It was only around 3:30pm.

"You're early." I said while taking stuff out of the grocery bags.

"I know, I just had something planned tonight and I thought you wouldn't mid if we came early." She gave me a weak smile while pulling stuff out of the bags she brought.

I wasn't upset that she was early. I was actually glad to see them. I hadn't seen Jackson all week due to therapy and work.

I was doing research for the hospital. A lot of the memories that came to me where things I learned being a doctor and it helped with the research end of things.

It kept me occupied mostly and I enjoyed it. Medicine was one of the few things in my life that never failed me.

"No Bella, you know I don't mind. You are welcome to bring him anytime. You are welcome here also, you know that." I didn't look at her.

"Thank you Edward, that's very ind of you." Her voice seemed so small.

"What are your plans for the night?" I just said it without thinking really.

"Um, you don't have to answer that, its none of my business." I quickly corrected myself.

"No its fine. I um I have a date." She basically fell over her words.

"Oh." Was all I could say.

I didn't know how I felt about that. Alice had told me she was a complete mess most of the time. I knew she still wasn't driving due to the accident and last time I saw her she looked so lost.

"I figure it's time to get back out there. Its been long enough." She lowered her head and played with a string of hair.

I don't know what it was about the way she seemed so shy at that moment but it struck a cord. That little tiny action made me feel like a brick hit me on the head. I remembered something.

"Do you do that a lot?" I asked trying to get the vision straight in my head.

"Go on dates? No. Not since-" But I cut her off.

"No I mean play with your hair like that. It seems so familiar." I kept examining her.

Her eyes flashed up immediately and she looked at me with big wide eyes.

"Its a nervous habit among others I have. So yes I guess I do."

I furrowed my brows trying to get the memory to come clear, but it was like a TV station that was snowy cause the reception was bad.

Suddenly like the stars were perfectly alined, it was there, crystal clear. My eyes lifted and I stared at her. She looked back with those big brown eyes of hers. I moved slowly to stand in front of her and put her face between my hands.

I moved the piece of hair she was fiddling with from her face and smoothed her lips with my thumb and like another bolt of lightening hit me I pressed my lips to hers.

They were soft and tasted so sweet. I took her bottom lips between my teeth and pressed firmly down.

She moaned into my mouth. Then I pulled away and stared at her face. She looked enchanted and flustered.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have. I don't know what I was thinking." I stammered out.

She blew a long breath out and shook her head.

"Um no its fine really. I just forgot." She kept shaking her head.

"Forgot what?" I questioned.

"How good of a kisser you were." She smiled then blushed.

It was that exact moment that I remembered our first kiss.

"Oh my god." I just stared into space

"What's wrong?" She looked worried.

"I remember our first kiss, in my Volvo." I started to laugh

"You remember?" Her smile grew

"Oh god yes. It was such an amazing moment. You were so shy and sweet. God I just wanted to-" But I stopped myself.

"We had sex that night, didn't we?" I looked at her searching on her face for the right answer.

"Yes." Her breathing picking up.

I started to feel dizzy suddenly. I could feel the small emotion of what I felt for this beautiful girl. I remember having such a crush on her. The way her body felt beneath me.

"Amazing." I whispered.

"it can be again, if you let it." She stepped closer to me and wrapped her arms around my neck crushing her lips to mine.

I could feel my need grow for her, but then I heard a crash come from the other room. We both pulled apart and ran to see what happened. I momentarily forgot about Jackson.

Has we reached his room, all that had happened was he knocked some toys onto the floor. I sighed in relief. I couldn't let anything happen to him.

Bella kneeled down and started talking to him.

"Bella?" I asked watching her with my son.

She looked up at me expectantly.

"Will you stay with me tonight? I think I'm having a breakthrough. Maybe if you stay I will start to remember more?" I didn't want to complicate her life.

"I'll stay. Just let me call and cancel, okay?" She got up from the floor and walked out of the room.

I went by Jackson and picked him up cuddling him to my chest. I ran my hand through his copper hair and kissed his face, placing him back on the floor.

It was now around 9:30pm and I had just put Jackson down for the night. I walked into the kitchen to find Bella cleaning up everything from dinner. From the distance she looked so happy. It had been such a long time since I saw her smile.

My thoughts went back to the kiss we shared earlier. My body felt like it was electrically charged. Every part of me tingled for her lips and to touch her. But I had no right to touch her, she was no longer mine.

But it was like my brain wasn't listening because next thing I knew I pulled her by the waist and swung her around. I forcefully kissed her lips and drew her body into mine. She moaned loudly and I picked her up and placed her on the counter.

I fell to my knees at that exact moment. The pain the took over my head was unbearable. I began to scream feeling like someone was zapping me with a taser gun.

I could feel Bella speaking frantically to me, but the pain was so terrible that I was being engulfed and blocking everything else out. I was curling into a ball and all I could hear was her yelling into the phone at someone, then everything else went dark.

Thank you for reading, I hope you like knowing what is going on from Edward's mind. Don't punish me yet lol. If there are errors I do apologize, sometimes I miss things or I don't read it over before I post...


	28. Chapter 28

Well thank you for the love this story as received, it means so much to me really! I hope this chapter will bring some happiness to all your little faces, its all in Bella's POV

CHAPTER 28

August 2009

Bella's POV

I was pacing back and forth down the hallway of the condo waiting for Carlisle to come out of the bedroom and let me know Edward was okay. It had been 45 minutes exactly since Edward fell to the floor screaming in pain.

Once Carlisle came with Emmett they carried him into the other room. I checked on Jackson to make sure he was still asleep and he was knocked out. Guilt was weighing heavily on my mind. It was cause I pushed him again. It was cause I wanted more from him like always and this time it triggered a break down.

I just wanted my life back the way it was. I wanted the man I married to know who I was and love me the way he used to. When he told me he remembered our first kiss, I almost passed out myself. If he could remember that, then maybe he would remember more, maybe it wouldn't be a lost cause.

My therapist had warned me about these kinds of cases. Sometimes they remember it all, but sometimes they don't. She warned me not to push him unless he asked and I did push him, especially when he pleaded with me not to.

I heard the bedroom door open and Carlisle walked out shaking his head.

"How is he? Is he okay?" Concern written all over me.

"Yeah he is okay Bella, why don't you head home? Its been a long night and I think we all need some sleep." He gave me a smile filled with exhaustion.

"No, I won't leave him! What about if it happens again, what about Jackson?" I was getting worked up.

"Bella?" I whipped around to be faced with Edward holding an icepack to his head.

"Are you alright?" I walked over to rub his face, but he swatted my hand gently away

"I will be fine, its just a migraine. I have had them before, but not this bad. I think you should go." His face twisted in pain

I was taken back by this and to be honest, really hurt he didn't want me there.

"But what if it happens again, Jackson?" Words weren't coming out the way I would have liked.

I was fighting the tears I knew would come if he rejected me one more time.

He turned to look at Carlisle, like they were having a silent conversation with their eyes.

"I'm going to just call Esme, I will be right back." He nodded and walked out.

"Emmett is going stay with me and look after Jackson for me. Tomorrow my mother will come by. Its all taken care of." His face clearly laced with pain, assuming from his head.

"So after everything that just happened tonight, you want to still turn me away? I don't get it Edward. One minute you are all over me, the next one you toss me aside like I mean nothing! I can't do this anymore!" I threw my hands up in defeat.

I was fighting for a man who truly didn't want me and I was done. No longer could I allow tears to shed or my heart to break. I was too broken from this, it was over and I needed to finally accept.

"Bella I told you, I am a broken man, what did you expect from me?" He looked at me in a way I knew I never enjoyed.

"You know what this was a mistake, I should've just let you come pick him up and I would be on a date right now, forgetting all about you." I mumbled to myself

"No I won't leave here without my son. I don't trust you enough to not have another breakdown while holding him or driving somewhere with him. You are a danger to him and me both." I spat at him

The look that warped across his face was gut wrenching. He went from looking frustrated to immediately hurt. It was like I stuck a knife into his heart and kept twisting it. I didn't regret a single word I said because that's how I felt. He would endanger our son if he drove with him or if he dropped him from this sudden headache that he failed to mention has happened before.

"You can't." His voice was small and you could hear the pain it in

"Yes I can and I will." With that I walked past him into Jackson's room.

"Bella please, don't do this to me." His voice was shaky, like he was fighting back tears.

I didn't want to hurt him, but I was so mad I wasn't thinking clearly. I put all the things back into the bag I had brought for Jackson and I picked up my sleeping son and cradled him into me.

Edward was now standing in-front of us with tears streaming down his cheeks.

"Please don't, please." He pleaded but right now his tears meant nothing to me.

He meant nothing to me. He didn't care when I would cry or beg him, he just was emotionless. Exactly the face I was putting up right now.

"Goodbye Edward." I brushed past him into the hallway.

"How are you going to get home huh?" He yelled from behind me

"You can't even get in a car without having a panic attack." He kept yelling from behind me.

Has if that was all the motivation I needed I grabbed his keys from the side table and walked out of the condo to his car. He followed quickly behind me and I could see Carlisle leaning against his own car on his phone.

Edward was yelling a bunch of different things at me, but I blocked him out.

You could hear Carlisle telling Esme he would call her right back.

"What is going on?" Carlisle placed a hand on Edward's chest.

"She is taking my son away from me. She has no right!" Edward was screaming

"Edward, calm down. Bella you can't drive home like this." Carlisle turned his attention from one to the other

"I can and I won't stay here another minute and nobody can stop me." I spat and unlocked the doors placing Jackson inside.

"That's my car you are stealing and I will call the police if you dare live." Edward's angry voice roared

I spun around quickly and walked right up to him.

"Call the police, at this point I will just tell them I was trying to get my son out of harms way from his violent father." Giving him my best menacing look

"Edward, go inside, I will handle this." Carlisle still holding Edward's chest

"Bella you leave then don't ever think about coming back." Edward warned

"Have no fear, I won't." With that I got into the car and started it.

It took me a moment to compose myself. I hadn't drove since the accident and it scared me. I was always afraid remembering how I almost killed my husband, but I needed to get over the fear. I couldn't stay here another minute

So I built up my courage and put the car in reverse and backed out onto the rode, putting it in drive and sped off to my house.

It had been a week since I last saw Edward and my temper had ceased since then. I admit I was wrong for the way I left things with him, but I wanted to give him a dose of his own medicine. Esme had just come to pick up Jackson for the weekend. I only felt safe with her being there when Edward saw him. It was an agreement I made with his mother. We hadn't spoken since the incident last week and I wasn't ready to have that conversation just yet.

It was now 7pm and I was finishing up my make up. Since I canceled my date last week, I decided to reschedule for tonight. I smoothed my hair back letting it hang over my shoulders. I had on a fitted green dress with a tan belt and some heels.

I heard the doorbell ring and I straighten the bottom of my dress and walked down the stairs to the front door. When I opened it there stood Jacob all toothy and holding a bouquet of red roses. He looked handsome in a black shirt open on the top and black slacks with black shoes. His hair spiked up.

"You look breathtaking Bella." He walked in kissing my cheek. "These are for you." He handed me the flowers.

He walked in rubbing his hands together looking completely nervous.

"You don't look too bad yourself Jake. Thanks for the flowers. Just let me put them in some water and we can go." I walked toward the kitchen and got a vase out of the cabinet. I poured some water from the tap into it and placed the roses inside of it.

I grabbed my purse off the table by the door and Jake held the door for me to walk through. We got into his car and we chatted idly the whole 15 minutes to the restaurant.

We arrived at Como and the hostess showed us to our seats. We thanked her and I picked up my menu looking at the dinner specials.

"I'm really happy you agreed to go out with me. Its been too long." Jake smiled brightly from his chair

"Yea, I am really glad I did too." I smiled timidly at him.

Dinner was pleasant and soon the waitress came to ask if we wanted desert, but we declined and decided it was time to leave.

We walked down by the ferries because it was a nice night and the air was warm. Jake slyly intertwined our fingers and we walked slowly on the pier.

"After all this time, this still feels the most natural to me." He smiled walking straight ahead.

I just smiled back at him. This did feel natural, but not right. It should be Edward holding my hand, it should be Edward telling me how wonderful I am. This was just all wrong.

I took my hand out of Jake's and leaned against the railing. I needed to clear my head for a minute. I looked out at the water watching it crash back and forth lightly. It reminded me of a memory where me and Edward came to a similar pier. He held me to his chest and kept telling me how much he loved me and he nobody could take my place. I sighed remembering.

Jake took this has an invitation to wrap his arms around my waist and I automatically leaned into him, forgetting it was Jake, I pretended they would Edward's arms and this was Edward her. Jake spun me around and crashed his lips to mine in that same moment.

His lips were soft and inviting, but not Edward's. I tried to pretend he was Edward just to have one more moment with him. I began to hear shouting all around me. Without even realizing, Jake was no longer holding me or kissing me.

I opened my eyes to see Jake and another man in a heated argument. I quickly walked to Jake's side to see what was going on and I turned to look at the man who was shoving Jake, it was Edward.

"Edward, what are you doing? Leave him alone." I shouted at him

His angry glaze fell from Jake to me, but his face was no longer angry, it was sad.

Before I knew what was happening Edward was pushing me backwards and took my face in his hands and kissed me with such passion. My knees crushed under me and I melted into him.

These lips and those arms felt right. This was were I was supposed to be, right here with my copper god. I fisted his hair in my hands and kissed him with all the force I had. He broke the kiss and picked me up in his arms and swung me in a circle a few times before placing me back down on the ground.

I looked at him breathless and he leaned his forehead to mine with a huge smile lacing his beautiful face.

"I remember Bella, I remember everything. I mostly remember how much I love you." His smile never flattering.

**Well what you think? I know its not as long as the others but I wanted to get this out to you all muahzzzz**


	29. Chapter 29

Thank you guys for the love and reviews and alerts on this story. I am afraid I will be ending it soon though, I am not sure how much more I can torture this couple, they deserve some happiness and some closure. I am so glad everyone loved last chapter, bring smiles to my face. I have started a new story on here called Black Silk Tie, check it if you haven't already and you can always go to my author's page and check out what I am reading too. This is all Edward, enjoy guys!

**CHAPTER 29**

Edward's POV

Replaying the events of the night before were sickening to my health. She left and promised to never return. Why did this hurt me so much? Why did I care if I never saw her again? Jasper had gone to pick up my car from Bella's house earlier, I couldn't face her.

I had finally broken her. I finally destroyed her heart enough that she never wanted to see me again. Everyone said she was just upset that I rejected her again, that she would get over it, but I wasn't so sure about that. They didn't see that familiar hurt in her eyes or the acid in her voice.

Why was the hurt so familiar and eating me up inside? It wasn't like I hadn't warned her a million times how broken of a man I was, but she just kept coming back. But no this hurt was different, it was a hurt my heart knew too well. What was happening?

I was in the research library in the hospital tapping my pen on my desk accomplishing nothing. Dr. Peters asked me to look us stuff on some chronic disease, but I hadn't ever started. I heard the door open, but I didn't bother to look up to see who it was.

"Well what are you doing down here all alone?" Irina's voice hummed into my ears.

"I could ask you the same thing." I didn't even look at her

"You didn't call me yesterday like you promised." She sat down on the desk in front of me

"I had some personal things to take care of." I muttered trying not to look at her

I could see her roll her eyes from the corner of my vision and she stood from the desk.

"Whatever got you so down, I think I know exactly how to fix it." She purred and straddled my lap.

She brushed her fingertips across my face and down my lips, pushing my chin up roughly so I was looking at her. I instinctively put my hands on her hips and she kissed me with a great force. I kissed her back with the same effort and she began to moan.

"Touch me Edward." Her voice husky

Something about the way she said it made me feel dizzy. I just shook it off and continued what my act. I needed to distract myself from Bella or I would get angry and I wasn't in the mood for angry. I had no idea anymore what I wanted.

Irina was nothing like Bella. She never forced me to remember her, she was gentle with me. She let me speak freely or be who I was, who ever that might be. She freely gave me her body, but it never felt right, never felt like I should be doing that with her.

I assaulted her neck with my lips and she groaned out my name. But today, this wasn't what I wanted. I stopped kissing her neck and I pushed on her hips to get her out of my lap.

"Irina I can't do this,not today, please?" I looked at her hoping she would understand

She looked hurt, but her feelings were the least of my worries.

"Edward, please, tell me whats going on?" Her beautiful brown eyes sparkling

Then it hit me! These were the wrong brown eyes an the wrong brunette. I wanted her, but the whole time I realized, I pretended she was someone else. She was Bella.

I stood from the chair and brushed by her without a second thought and walked out of the library. I grabbed my keys off my desk and headed to my car. I needed to speak to my father and the sooner the better.

I knew Carlisle was off today, so I assumed he would be home. When I pulled into my parents driveway I saw his Mercedes parked out in front. I turned off the car and made my way into the house.

When I walked in I was hit with opera music coming from the den. I walked a few doors down and found Carlisle sitting at his desk typing on his computer. He looked up when he heard my foot steps and picked up a remote turning off the stereo.

"Well this is a surprise, aren't you supposed to be at work?" He smiled from behind his desk

"If you want to call that a real job." I shrugged seating down in the chair in front of him

He leaned forward and put his hands together balancing his chin off them.

"Not that I don't love to see my only son, but what brings you here?" His face laced with interest

I blow out some air and racked my hand through my hair. He wasn't going to like this, but I needed his help and I knew he would be my best chance.

"I have been having sex with Irina for the last couple months, since Bella divorced me." I looked at him to see his reaction.

He definitely had a look of surprise on his face, but he just nodded to let me go on.

"I guess I never really thought about it like this until today when she came to the library to see me. She had been such the opposite of Bella, she didn't push or try to make me be a certain person, she just let me be who I was. It was a nice change of pace." I sighed.

Carlisle leaned back in his chair with his hand over his chin. I continued.

"But today, I don't know what it was, she was straddling me and kissing me and it just felt like wrong. I looked at her face in her eyes, they were the wrong set of eyes. Then it hit me, I was pretending she was the version of Bella I wanted. The one who wasn't pushing me or treating me like I was broken. She just wanted me to feel." I slouched back into the leather chair.

"Can I say something now?" Dad asked leaning forward again.

"By all means." I gestured with my hand

"Son, I will tell you that Irina wasn't pushing you because she wants you, she always as, but you never let it go that far. Of course she didn't want you to remember Bella and the life you had because she saw it as her way in. But to think of her as Bella, that is something else entirely. What do you remember?" His interest looking peaked

I hated how disappointed he looked. I didn't want him to see me as some jerk, but I really hadn't understood the extent of what I was doing, I didn't want to hurt anyone, especially not my family. But didn't Bella equal in as my family. The mother of my child?

I leaned forward dropping my head in my hands. I started to cry. Why was I so screwed up? I just wanted to remember things and be like every other normal person. I didn't want to hurt people or cause problems. Maybe I was better off dead.

I felt my father wrap his arm around my shoulder and I leaned into him. I started laughing through my tears.

"I haven't cried in front of you since I was 8 years old when I fell and broke my leg. God that hurt like a bitch, but you promised that you would fix me and make my leg all better. That was the day I knew I wanted to be a doctor. I wanted to help people." Carlisle start laughing too and I wiped the tears off my cheeks.

"Do you realize what you just told me?" He looked at me and smiled

"About my broken leg when I was eight?" I looked at him perplexed.

"Exactly! Edward, you remembered something so clearly and precise!" He got really excited

"What else can you remember?" His face lighting up like a Christmas tree.

We spent most of the afternoon going over things I remembered and it amazed me just how much had returned to me.

The week went by quickly and I was remembering so many wonderful things. I was restless Thursday night. I kept tossing and turning,

I didn't really sleep well after the accident. I would wake up screaming sometimes or in a sweat. I couldn't explain why. The dreams I couldn't remember. But tonight was unusual for me. Tonight I couldn't sleep. I took a deep breath and threw the blanket off me.

Putting me feet on the floor I stood from the bed and walked to the kitchen. I was slightly parched and decided to get some water. I filled the glass and drank it down quickly. I rinsed the cup and put it back in the cabinet. I went to the living room and remembered I wanted to go through some things in the closet there.

Has I rummaged through some stuff I found a box that was taped closed. The front read in big green letters garage stuff. I took the box and walked it over to the coffee table and grabbed a pair of scissors out of my desk.

I cut open the box and noticed it had several photo albums in it. I pulled them out and began to flip through the pages. These must be from high school because a lot of it was me and Emmett and some other people I didn't recognize. Then I pulled out one that was Christmas of 2003.

I scanned the pages to find pictures of Bella and me. In most of them we were smiling and kissing and just looking absolutely in love. The thought of being in love with her filled my heart with joy. She was an amazing person and I just had no idea how to accept that.

I combed through more pictures and found to feel better about everything that I couldn't remember. I did have a great life before all this happened, I just want to get it back. Eventually I fell asleep on the couch. I had no idea what time, but I could see the sun shining through the window.

I shook my body awake and walked into the kitchen to brew some coffee. Has I set up the coffee pot I decided on a quick shower. I got a towel out of the hall closet and set forth to the bathroom.

I adjusted the temperature and got in. The water cascaded down my body and I got the bar of soap and lathered up. A rush went over me and I had to lean my hand on the wall to steady myself. What the fuck?

I rinsed off quickly and hoped out of the shower. I wrapped the towel around my waist and walked into my bedroom and a sudden flash blinked in front of my eyes.

"_Do you always have to look so sexy after a shower? I mean come on Edward, lord, nobody should be allowed to look as good as you." Bella said in best sexy voice_

"_I only look sexy after a shower? Well baby, you look sexy all the time, especially like this." I hovered over her body making her lean onto the mattress._

"_God do you know how beautiful you are to me?" I looked with straight awe at my beautiful wife._

"_I do actually, you mirror it when I look at you." She leaned up wrapping her arms around my neck pulling me in for a passionate kiss._

I grabbed onto the wall. Wow, suddenly like I had been hit with a tidal wave of emotion, I felt everything. I felt her love, my love, our sadness loss, gain, healing, breaking, bending. It floored me. Fuck, I was so in love with her, how could I not be?

I remembered everything at that very second, I remembered my wife and our life, I remembered Bella. God was this good or bad? We left things so messed up last time we spoke. How would I explain? How would I apologize?

She had been so caring and loving through everything and me? I had been the world's biggest asshole, how do you fix that? Would say forgive me or wouldn't she? I had no idea, but I would definitely find out.

My mother would have Jackson tonight and I would need to ask Alice if she knew where Bella would be this evening. I needed to talk to her, I needed to apologize, even if it meant getting on my knees and begging.

"I remember everything Alice, please you need to tell me where she is/" I begged my sister on the phone

"Edward, why don't you just try calling her, I am sure she will answer." Alice sounded exhausted.

"Please Alice, this is life or death." I was not above groveling at this point.

"She is on a date with Jacob, I think they are in the market, but she didn't really say where. That's the best I can do."

"That's enough, thanks Alice." I was about hang up when she called out my name.

"Edward? I'm glad you remember, but don't be disappointed if it doesn't turn out like you expect." The line went dead.

I had spent most of the evening trying to locate Bella's whereabouts, but I had failed miserably. Tracking definitely was not my thing. I came upon the pike pier and looked out into the water.

How did I survive these past few months, treating her like dirt and now realizing what I felt so deep in my heart for her. I didn't deserve her, Alice was right. She was special and everything I never knew I had and I was about to lose. There is no life after her.

A sweet scent hit my nose and I turned my head immediately. She was close by, she lingered in the air, definite Bella. I turned to look a few feet away and saw her leaning on the railing and his arms wrapped around her body. Hell no!

I stooped over to where they where and the next thing I saw was him kissing her, but she didn't seem to enjoy it. I don't know what came over me, but I pulled him off of her.

"What the fuck man." Jack spat at me

"What the hell are you doing touching my wife. I could kill you right now." With that I shoved him.

But before he could reply Bella ran beside him and realization hit her when she saw my face.

"Edward, what are you doing? Leave him alone." She was pissed.

Knowing I was causing her more frustration, it hurt like hell. I grabbed her pushing her away from him and kissing her passionately on the lips.

Oh I missed those kinds of kisses, the way her body felt against mine. All the kisses and hugs and love making began to swirl in my head. God I missed her so much. I was spinning her around and around just cherishing her body in my arms. Never letting my lips fall from hers. She was wrapping her hands in my hair, yes she still loved me!

I gently placed her back down and leaned my forehead against hers, panting for breath.

"I remember Bella, I remember everything. I mostly remember how much I love you." I whispered with a smile on my face.

"Oh my god Edward, I I don't know what to say, that is wow." She kissed me hard again...

Okay tell me what you think, I was having a hard time writing this, let me know love yazzz


	30. Chapter 30

**Thank you all so much for reading and being supportive. I apologize for any errors I make or grammar, I just do this for fun, that's it! I love you guys so much. I can't believe I wrote 30 chapters already, how I will never know lol. This chapter is all Bella, enjoy!**

**CHATPER 30**

I pulled away from Edward remembering that Jake was still standing there. I walked around to where Jake was standing.

"Jake." I was trying to figure out what I was going to say.

"Bella please tell me you don't buy his bullshit." Jake said looking down at me

"Don't take that tone with her." I could hear Edward say from behind me

"Oh that's rich coming from someone who has treated her like shit for the past 6 months." Jake was beyond livid

"Both of you stop it. Edward, I need to talk to Jake alone, can you please just go? I will call you later." I gave him a pointed stare

"I'm not going anywhere Bella, I don't trust him." Edward basically growled

"You are barging in on our date, so I think you are the untrusting one here." Jake threw his hands in the air

"The both of you, please stop!" I yelled

I looked at Edward first. "You go home, I will call you later!"

Then I spun around to look at Jake. "And you, shut up!"

Edward wanted to argue with me on this, but I put my hand up to silence him.

"Fine, I will go,but you better call me the second you get in the house." He gave a menacing look to Jake

"I will, now go Edward." He pulled me to him and kissed the top of my head

Once he was gone from view I turned back to Jake.

"Bella you can't seriously believe him?" Jake was seething

"I don't know what to believe, but I need to sort it out. This is a lot to take in." I pulled at my hair

"What's to figure out? He lost his mind and treated you like dirt. Basically that would sum it up for me. He doesn't deserve you Bella!"

"Oh and what you do?" I narrowed my eyes at him

"I would never treat you like that, ever. He is so back and forth with you. If you were with me, you would never have to feel like a yo-yo." He moved closer

"But Jake, I have been treated like that by you. You seem to forget that you cheated on me." I glared at him

"Bella that was years ago and we were younger, immature. I have grown up since then, I would never do that to you now." He cupped my face in his hands

"Jake please, you don't understand. Edward and I , we have a child together, we had a life, I just can't walk away now, it wouldn't feel right." I tried to get his hands off my face

"I could help you raise your son. Would you rather have a life with someone who remembered everyone but you or a life with someone who would never forget you?" He was pleading with his eyes

"Are you trying to make me choose? Because if you are, its going to be him Jacob. Its always been him." I could feel tears streaking my face

He looked defeated at my words. There really wasn't anything left to say.

"Goodbye Jacob." I kissed his cheek and started to walk off, but he grabbed me by the arm.

I swung around and he grabbed my face into a heated kiss. Has if that kiss would change my mind, _hardly_. I looked at him stunned and turned on my heel and ran as fast as I could.

I prayed he wouldn't try to stop me and he didn't. He knew I needed time. I needed to get my thoughts in order. What was I going to do about Edward remembering? Could I just act like the last 6 months didn't happen? Was Jake right?

I felt so confused. I just walked around the streets of Seattle for a little while trying to clear my head. I looked at my cell phone and realized it was now one a.m. And I had 14 missed calls from Edward. It was a long walk home and I noticed the last call from him was about 10 minutes ago.

I sighed hitting the redial button. It rang twice before he answered.

"Oh my god Bella, where are you? I have been so worried since you hadn't called or come home yet." He sounded so relieved to hear my voice

"I'm sorry, I just needed to clear mt head a little bit. How did you know I wasn't home yet?" Clear confusion lacing my voice

"I been sitting on your, no on our pouch since I left you on the pier. Where are you, do you need me to come get you?"

"I'm on Bernard and 1st ave."

"I will be there in 10 minutes, don't move!" His voice serious

The line went dead and I shoved my phone back in my purse. I waited for Edward to arrive. I knew this wasn't a place to be hanging around at this hour, especially alone. Thankfully Edward arrived shortly after and he jumped out of the car to open my door.

I gave him a soft smile and got into the car. He got in and we drove to my house in silence. He pulled into the driveway and turned off the engine. Neither of us spoke or attempted to move. What could I say? So many questions going through my head.

Finally he made a noise and I turned my head to look at him. He was holding the steering wheel tightly in his grip just looking straight a head. I took a deep breath and figured it was my cue to say something.

"I need time Edward." I looked down at my hands in my lap

"I know." He spoke softly

"I am really happy you remember everything, but the last few months, I mean I can't forget that they happened, I don't want to." I was trying not to cry

He hung his head, almost in shame.

"I wish I could take it all back, but I can't. I know what I put you through, if only." He was torturing himself

"If you only knew how sorry I am Bella, for everything. God you didn't deserve any of it. You were just being a wife and I failed you as a husband." I could hear the breaking in his voice

"I can't say you are wrong." I laughed sadly

He turned then to look at me and grabbed my hand off my lap kissing the back of it.

"I hate how much I have hurt you, but I will do whatever it takes to fix us." He clenched his eyes shut

I know this must be killing him realizing after all the time how he was treating me, not really knowing it.

"Please understand, right now I just need some time. I can't just jump back into this." I tried to plead with him.

He leaned over and rubbed my cheek with his thumb and pulled me into a sweet kiss. It only lasted a minute then he pulled away.

"Goodnight Bella." He breathed out

"Goodnight Edward."

I got out of his car and walked into the house. I watched him pull out of the driveway. I put my purse on the kitchen counter and opened up my fridge looking for a bottle of vodka. _Yes bingo!_

I took out a shot glass from the cabinet and poured some vodka in the glass. I threw it back and hissed about the sting the liquid left in my throat. I threw back about 2 more and could feel the buzz going through me.

I walked to my room and began to strip off my clothes. I flopped down on my bed and then it all went black.

I woke up the next morning with a major hang over and a pounding headache. Have I not learned yet what happens when you drink like that? Lord it had been so long since I was drunk. I had to laugh to myself thinking about the last time.

It was back in February on valentines day. Jackson was spending the week with my mom in Arizona so me and Edward could have some alone time. We had went to this fancy restaurant with Alice and Jasper.

I had about 5 glasses of champagne and 4 shots with Alice when we had gone to a club afterward. I remember dancing with Edward and feeling his body so close to mine.

"Do you know how sexy you look right now?" He whispered into my ear

My body immediately reacted and I pushed myself closer into him. I could feel how sexy he thought I was from the bulge in my back side.

:I can feel how sexy you think I am." I tried to sound sexy for him

"I think its time to go, don't you?" His voice was like pure honey dripping into my ears.

Uh huh." Was all I could say

We walked back to our table and bid farewell to Alice and Jasper, who I was pretty sure wouldn't be there much longer anyway.

We had taken a cab from the restaurant to the club, so we needed to get another one. I had on a dark red dress that went to my knee with a black long wool coat over it. It was about 32 degrees outside right now, but from the alcohol and Edward's sexy presence, I was burning up.

There was a tiny alley next to one of the buildings and Edward pulled me by the arm and pushed me into it. He picked me up and leaned me against the brick wall, kissing me deeply. My hands instantly grabbed his hair as he hosted me up into the air. His hands were all over me.

"Fuck Bella, how you turn me on like this?" He growled seductively into my ears.

"The same way you do it to me." I mumbled against his lips.

Next thing I knew he was ripping my panties and his fingers were gliding between my thighs.

"I could never grow tired of you, you know that. I love how good you always feel." He began to bit on my neck

I grabbed the back of his to give him better access and I felt him plunge his dick into me hard! How did he even undo his pants? I didn't care at that point because he was thrusting with a fast pace and I was going to come any second.

"Bella, I love you so much, god you are so tight." He moaned

"God Edward, yes just like that, harder." I matched his moan

With one last thrust I came all undone around him and he followed moments later. He steadied me on the ground and I adjusted my dress. He placed his hands on either side of my face and kissed me slowly.

"I could never love another woman as much as I love you." He smiled beautifully and took mt hand in his.

The memory made me smile, but at the same time, it made me sad. So much time we lost, so much had changed. Did I still feel the same way? Six months had changed a lot of things for our relationship. I still loved him, but did I still need him?

I had come to term that I was living this life alone. I had come to term he was never getting his memory back, I asked for a divorce because he said he didn't love me anymore, that he never could again, but then he remembers? This was not fair of him to think he could just waltz back in and think we could just start off where we left off.

No, I needed time, I needed to figure out my life. So I was decided, it was time to get away with just me and my son. We could travel and grow. Yes time away would be good and Edward would have to understand. This wasn't a punishment for him, I loved him, but I needed to find out who I was and what I wanted, I needed to be me again...

I took deep calming breathes before I answered my front door. I knew it was him on the other side of it holding our son, returning him to me, I had asked to come by. So taking one more cleansing breath I pulled open the front door and put on my happy face.

He looked amazing, as always. He had on a black short sleeved button up on with dark jeans and dress shoes.

"Edward, thanks for bringing him home, come in." I gestured with my hands moving out of the way for them to step in.

"Of course Bella, why wouldn't I?" He chuckled shaking his head

"Momma!" Jackson screeched from Edward's arms

"Hey baby boy, how was grandma's?" I reached my arms out to take him from Edward

He kissed my face and hugged me tightly and I gave him the same affection back. I then placed him on the floor and he ran to his bedroom. Edward was still standing in the hallway and I motioned with my hand for him to follow me into the living room.

"Dinner isn't ready yet,so I figure we could talk for a little bit." I gave him a slight smile tucking my skirt under my legs.

"Okay." He replied sitting next to me on the couch.

"How are you feeling?" I asked

"I'm doing okay. Its a lot of stuff to take in all at once." He was looking at his hands

"I wish I could say I have some idea, but I don't. I never lost my memory before, so.." I didn't really want to ruin this time with him just yet by talking about my new found plans

"Carlisle says its amazing, I should feel really blessed. I do feel blessed, I just wish I never lost it in the first place." His face hardened for a moment

I was about to reply but then I heard the oven ding and I excused myself to pull out the roast. The air was so thick between us that it was a welcome distraction.

I pulled the roast out placing it on the counter and mixed the vegetables in a pot on the stove while I mashed the potatoes in the other. I heard Edward walk into the room

"It smells great in here, do you need some help?" He asked smiling from the doorway

"Yea sure, you could cut up the roast for me." I said over my shoulder

I heard him open the drawer with the knives and it kind of made me giddy inside. He still remembered something silly and yet it meant so much. We continued out tasks in silence. This felt so natural to me. So many times we had done this together.

We finished up and brought the food out to the table. Edward got Jackson and put him in his hair chair. We chatted about trivial unimportant things throughout dinner, but it was nice. We felt like a family and for a small moment it reminded me of how it was before the accident.

Everyone had finished eating and I started cleaning up the dishes off the table. Edward picked Jackson up out of his chair and walked him toward his room. From the distance I could hear the water running in the bathroom.

I smiled like an idiot remembering out routine. After dinner I would clean up the dishes and Edward would bath Jackson. Some things never change. I didn't want to get to swept up in the moment because reality was about to happen.

I loaded up the dishwasher and put on a pot of coffee. I knew we were about to have a very serious conversation and I needed to have something to distract myself while I spoke. After about 20 minutes Edward came in with no shirt on and I almost stopped breathing.

It had been so long since I saw his bare chest. His body was so well defined. I doubt I would ever get tired of seeing it, even after 10 years of being together. I could hear him chuckling which brought me back to reality.

"Jackson got my shirt soaked when I bathed him. I threw it in the dryer, hope you don't mind." His lips curving up perfectly

"No its fine." I tried to not sound over heated.

"So, what's going on with you Bella? You seem like you got a lot going on in that beautiful head of yours?" HE gave me that crooked smile

"I want to discuss something with you. So much is going on lately and I am so overwhelmed, I think I want to go away for a while." I bit my lip waiting for his reaction.

I knew if this was the Edward I had come to know over the last six months he would be packing my bags for me. But this wasn't that Edward, it was my Edward. The one who chased me in Maui after a week of separation.

"Go where and for how long?" His face suddenly looking overly concerned

"I think, um.." But his phone began to ring before I could finish

"I'm sorry about this." Pulling his phone out of his pocket to silence it.

"It's no big deal, like I was saying, I think.." But the phone went off again.

"Fuck, stop calling me." He mumbled under breathe

"Who is it?" Curiosity peaking out of my head

"It's nobody important, go head." He gave me a weak look

But even before I could say anything the phone rang again.

"Edward, answer it."

"I'll just turn it off." He then powered down his phone.

"Who was it that time and don't you dare say nobody." I crossed my arms over my chest

"Irina." He leaned back looking annoyed

Now that I didn't expect. It was a name that hadn't come up in conversation in a very long time. The last time I heard about her, she transferred to a different part of the hospital.

"Why is she calling you?" I eyed him

He ran his hand through his hair and rubbed his face a number of times. I knew this has his nervous habit or what he did before he told me something big. What was going on?

"Bella, I don't know how exactly to tell you this, so let me just start from the beginning." His face was masked with disgust. I assumed with himself

I just leaned back into the couch and looked at him. I let him know from my body language he was free to speak.

"Okay, after the accident when I was in rehab, Irina was one of the doctors. I didn't remember who she was and I guess she kind of took advantage of it. She said we knew each other in a past life. Whatever the hell that meant. She was really nice to me. I guess we became friends." He looked at me to make sure I was still listening.

"Everything that was happening with you, it was hard on me. You were forceful and pushy, she wasn't. She kept things light and easy for me, she didn't try to make me be someone I wasn't. Then you serve me with divorce papers and I wasn't sure how I felt about that. Did I want to abandon you and our son? Or did I want to start over and discover who this new man I was becoming. I didn't know what to do, so the night after the divorce was final, I went to some bar and started drinking.

"Irina showed up and we talked about everything. Things I couldn't talk to you about and we ended up having sex." He bit on his lip watching and waiting for my reaction.

I was floored by his information. I didn't know what to say or how to react, but the tears began to flow without even realizing it.

"How?Why would you?" I was speechless.

"Bella please look at me." He tried to push my chin up, but I smacked his hand away

"I can't look at you right now." I was looking all around the room but at him

"You cheated on me Edward, you cheated on me with her, of all people. I could have handled you telling me you slept with some random girl, but Irina? I don't even want to know what she wanted just now. I am just so disgusted by you." I was shaking violently

"I didn't cheat on you Bella, we were divorced already. That's not fair." His voice rising slightly

"What's not fair is that I stuck by you through everything. I waited for you and I never abandoned you, even when you asked me to. You would rather sleep with Irina in your unconscious state than with me, the woman you have loved for ten years?" I was sobering

"You have been dating Jacob, how is that not the same thing?" His voice defensive

"Its not the same thing. I would have never gone to him if I thought I had a chance with you. You made it perfectly clear you didn't want me!" Now I was almost yelling

"Bella, I didn't remember you. So you are right in saying, its not the same thing because I didn't hurt you on purpose. I didn't jeopardize a life with you willingly, I just couldn't remember it." He stood pacing and pulling at his hair

"I'm leaving in four days. Don't try to find me." I said in an eery calm voice.

His head snapped down to look at me. I was frozen in place rocking back and forth. I had enough of this. I needed to leave, to get away from him. I had no ties to him anymore. I was no longer his wife, only his child's mother.

"Leaving? Where are you going? What about Jackson? Bella please don't go. Can't lose you again." He got on his knees in front of me.

He took my hands from my lap and held them in his. He was trying to capture my gaze, but I just looked straight ahead wanting no part of him now.

"Edward, I need you to leave, now." I forcefully pulled my hands away from him.

"I'm not leaving Bella, I will never leave you again." He stood from the floor.

I watched his form rise from the floor and the look of pain on his face was more than I could take. I stood off the couch taking in his naked chest. I rubbed my hands a crossed it slowly with tears still falling from my eyes.

"Touch me Edward." I said through my tears.

I heard him suck in a long breath and he moved in closer to me. He placed his hands on my face and kissed me softly on the lips. I could never tire of those soft sweet lips. He pulled back to look in my eyes and he kissed my neck. _Numb_

Then his hands brushed up on both my breasts and he massaged them through my shirt. Numb.

I moved my hands to his back and dug my nails deep in his skin. He hissed. Next thing I remember he was lifting me up and carrying me to the bedroom. Somehow he undressed me and himself.

I barely remember any of it. I was completely and utterly numb. His touch which normally sent flames to my body, did nothing.

He made love to me three times that night and each time he came roughly and I sensed he thought I enjoyed it too. But I was in a fog the whole time. It was about 4:15am when I looked at my alarm clock.

Edward was sleeping soundly with his arms around my waist. I slipped quietly off the bed, trying not to wake him up. He grumbled slight, but didn't awaken. I walked into the bathroom and turned on the shower. I needed to wash his filth off my body.

After about 30 minutes the shower went cold and I got out. I wrapped my robe that was hanging on the back of the door around my body. Edward was now awake and leaning against the headboard. I sat on the edge of the bed away from him.

"I think you should leave now." I said bowing my head down.

"Bella, I thought.." He trailed off

"You thought wrong. Please Edward, just go." I got up off the bed and walked out of the room..

I went to the guest room and shut the door crawling on the bed and stared at the wall. He didn't try to find me or talk to me, which I was grateful for. I heard him shuffling around and heard him say goodbye to Jackson. Then the front door opened and closed. He was gone.

Every happy moment we shared flooded my mind. Our first kiss in his car. Losing my virginity in my bedroom. Exchanging our vows and watching him cry. The birth of our son. But then I was reminded of all the bad memories as well. It was time to tell him goodbye...

**Edward's POV**

Bella hadn't called in a few days and I let her have time. I knew she needed it, but I wasn't prepared for what happens next. I just didn't know how to approach her. Suddenly I had my life back plus a life I wasn't even sure I wanted.

It was Friday and normally I would pick up Jackson, so I headed to her house because she was not answering her phone. When I pulled up in the driveway I noticed her car wasn't there. I pulled my key out of my pocket and went to unlock the front door.

When I walked inside the site before me I was not expecting. The house was bare. I walked around frantically in every room as to assure my fears. Everything was gone. Furniture, pictures, toys, fridge, stove, everything. She was gone!

She threatened to leave, but I didn't really think she would go anywhere. I pulled out my phone dialed up Alice, Rose, my mom, her mom, anyone that I thought she might have spoken to, but nobody had heard from her She disappeared without a trace...

**Well my lovelies, tell me what you think? I hope you liked it...Its unedited and unbeta'ed so excuse any mistakes that you find..**


	31. Chapter 31

**Okay let me clear this up for you all. No Bella isn't being a bitch and keeping Edward from his child. I am a single mom and trust me, I would never do anything so cruel. So I hope you all like the chapter and let me know what you think. I am unedited and unbeta'ed in this story, so excuse my errors...**

CHAPTER 31

I put most of my things in storage. I would probably have a yard sale and just get rid of it all. It was stained with memories I no longer had the strength to hold on to. I had put the house on the markets three months ago, hoping to sell it and finally someone was interested.

I hadn't told Edward because at the time, well he wasn't himself. I needed a fresh start, new beginning. I wasn't really sure what that meant for us, but I needed a chance to find out. I could forgive him for sleeping with Irina, I already did.

It had been almost three weeks since I left Seattle. I was staying in Forks in the Cullen's old house. The people who were renting it from Esme has moved to Ohio, so it had been vacant for a while. Esme had been more than accommodating to me and Jackson. She was the one who suggested I get away. Not to think of Forks as a vacation spot, but it was familiar.

Esme was the only one who knew where I was. I was positive that would not be easy on her to keep a secret from the people she loved, but she understood. I was extremely grateful to her.

It was around ten thirty Wednesday night. Jackson had long been asleep. I had emailed Edward after I got here. Not really telling him where I was, but that we were safe and he didn't need to worry, that we wouldn't be gone long. He responded of course, pleading for me to come back and everything, but I wasn't ready.

I didn't want to keep Jackson away from Edward. It was killing me to know that my separation from him included separation of Jackson from him as well. Was I being selfish? Maybe. I sighed and walked away from the picture window in my bedroom. I was actually staying in Edward's old room, who would have thought it would be the only room I could actually sleep in?

I turned off the light by my bed and got under the blankets. I adjusted my pillow and tried to go to sleep. After about forty minutes of no luck in falling asleep I was about to get up and read my book. Just as I was about to turn the light on I saw headlights coming down the small road.

The house was the only one on this road. There were neighbors close by, don't get me wrong. But it was odd anyone would be coming here at this hour. I quickly walked out of my room and into Jackson's.

I got into his room and locked the door behind me. His room also faced the front of the house as well. It was the room next to mine. I watched carefully from the window as the car got closer to the house. I could feel fear bubble up inside me.

My car was in the garage and everything was locked. The security code was put into place hours ago. The car stopped in the front of the garage door and they turned off their headlights. It was too dark outside to see what kind of car it was, but once the person stepped out he was unmistakeable, _Edward_.

I sighed in relief. But then the next question hit me, how did he know I was here? I wasn't sure if Esme would tell him, I don't think she would, but then again he was here. I opened Jackson door trying to be very quiet.

The front door opened and I could hear Edward rearming the alarm system downstairs. I quietly walked over to the stairs that had a glass balcony. I could lean over and see him, but he couldn't see me unless I was leaning right against it. He flicked on the downstairs's lights illuminating the house.

I watched him throw his leather jacket over the back of the couch and pull off his shoes. Then he walked out of the living room and disappeared. I was mad. Why couldn't he just let me have time? Why was he so stubborn and hard headed that he just couldn't let me breathe.

Suddenly anger rose inside of me. I needed to make it clear how I felt and he needed to leave! I made my way down the steps and looked to see where he might have gone. I froze dead in my tracks when I saw him sitting in the library at his piano. He hadn't played in so long. The last time I even remember him playing was before Jackson's birthday.

He ran his fingers across the keys and sighed. He looked as if he wanted to play, but wasn't sure how. His one favorite precious gift and he looked so lost. I walked slowly behind him, my anger flattening and touched his shoulders.

He grabbed my hands roughly off his shoulders and had me pinned to the floor before I even realized what happened. He looked at me with rage, but then it quickly disappeared when he saw my face.

"Bella?" He exclaimed pulling me swiftly to my feet.

"Fuck you scared the hell out of me, what are you doing here?" His eyes huge

"I live here, what are you doing here?" My whole body shaking.

"You live here?" He sounded so surprised

"Yes. Did Esme tell you I was here. She swore to me that she wouldn't tell you." I said looking away from him.

"What? My mom knew where you were this whole time and kept it from me?" Hurt clouded his beautiful green eyes.

"Your mom didn't tell you I was here?" I asked

"No she never said a word. I can't believe you've been here this whole time. I been so worried." He wrapped his arms around me holding me to his chest.

"Edward." I pushed him to give us a little distance

"If Esme didn't tell you I was here, then why are you here?" I eyed him.

"I needed to get away for a while. The last thing I remember before the accident was bringing you here. I know this was one place we had a lot of memories. I needed that. Carlisle mentioned that this house was vacant, so I thought I would come." He bit on his bottom lip

"Oh." Was all I could come up with.

"I'll leave, if you don't want me here." He looked down at me.

"No its fine, its late, long drive back. Stay." I nodded my head

"I could get a room in town at the motel." His serious expression never leaving.

"Edward just stay. Its a huge house, plenty of room here. Plus Jackson has been asking for you, he would love to see you." I gave a weak smile.

"Okay, thanks. How is he doing?" Edward asked nervously

"He's been great. He's a wonderful little boy." I said

"Good, I am glad. Which room is he in. I would like to see him." He pulled both lips in

"Alice's old room." I pulled my hands behind my back

"Oh that's cool, next to my room." He shook his head.

"Well right now its my room." I said

"Well that's fine. I will just sleep in my parent's room. No big deal." He stood there for a long time not moving.

"I guess I will just head back to bed then, have a good sleep." I nodded to him and walked up the stairs.

I made my way back to my room and closed the door. I heard Edward make his way up the stairs and open Jackson's door. I was about to lay down on my bed when I heard Edward speaking through the baby monitor.

"Hey J, how are you buddy? Daddy missed you so much. You have gotten so big. I'm sorry I haven't been around lately, but mommy and me are having some problems. None of which are your fault. God you and your mommy mean everything to me. I can't imagine a life without the two of you. I messed up buddy, big time, but I promise no matter what, I will always be there for you. I hope one day mommy forgives me, but even if she doesn't I will always love her." That was all I could take.

I turned off the monitor. I couldn't listen to another word. I laid on the bed for a while and eventually somehow I fell asleep.

I woke up to the sun shining through the window. I rubbed my eyes and got off the bed.

I walked into Jackson's room only to find Edward sound asleep against the wall with Jackson wrapped in his arms. They looked so peaceful. They were definitely a set of twins. Jackson looked more and more like Edward everyday. They even slept with the same expression on their faces.

I smiled and closed the door quietly behind me. I made my way into the kitchen and began preparing breakfast. I figured pancakes would do the trick. About twenty minuted later I heard the door open upstairs.

I heard little feet coming down the stairs. I ran quickly to the steps, not liking my almost two year old coming down them on his own.

Momma, daddy here." He put his arms out for me to take, giving me a full on teethy grin.

"I know pumpkin." I kissed his little face

"Mommy made you pancakes, yummies." I tickled his belly and he giggled

I placed Jackson in his high chair and stuck a plate of cut of pancakes in front of him. I poured some syrup on them and handed him his fork.

Edward descended the stairs in a tee shirt and pajama pants with his hair sticking in every direction. He gave me a small smile before walking over to the coffee pot and pouring some into a cup. He took a seat next to Jackson at the table.

"Good morning Bella." He said sipping his coffee

"Morning. How did you sleep?" I smiled at him.

"Well okay considering how I fell to sleep." He let out a small chuckle.

"Yea I saw." I laughed

"It was worth it, to see him." He leaned over and kissed Jackson head.

Jackson held out his fork with a piece of pancake on it to Edward. Edward grinned at me and took the bit of the food. Jackson smiled and took another piece to feed to Edward.

Watching their exchange warmed my heart. They were my family, my boys, my life. I realized I didn't need anymore time to think about things, this was right. We needed a new beginning and this very moment just presented us with one.

I felt so much joy in that moment. Yes we had a lot of stuff to work through and yes a lot to talk about, but I didn't want anyone else. Edward was the only one I could see myself with, then, now, always.

"Edward after breakfast I think-" But he cut me off before I could finish.

"Don't worry Bella, I'm leaving in a little while, I got a hotel room set up for me and everything. So you don't have to worry about it." He gave me a sad look.

"That's not what I was going to say. I want you to stay. I think its time we talked." I reached over and squeezed his hand

"Really?" His face suddenly lit up. That was a very good sign.

"Yes. We could take a walk. Jackson likes to the puppy store." I smiled

He smiled back and turned his attention to Jackson. After about 15 minutes I took Jackson up stairs so I could wash him up and dress him. It was already October, so the weather was starting to get a little cool. I dressed him in a blue sweater with some jeans.

I brought him downstairs where Edward was finishing up washing the dishes.

"Could you just keep an eye on him so I can take a shower and get dressed? I won't take too long." I felt a little awkward asking.

He shook his own head smiling. "Bella of course. You don't even need to ask."

I gave him a quick smirk and walked back up the steps. I went and got a clean towel out of the hallway closet and went to the bathroom to shower. The water was hot and it felt good. It gave me a few minutes to myself to think about how today was going to go.

Not seeing him these past few weeks was like torture to my soul. Even at his worst I couldn't leave him, but when he finally comes back to me, I turn him away. Something was so wrong with me. Edward and I had been through so much, walking away now didn't seem logical. We could work this out.

I finished my shower and went into my room to get dressed, but ended up sitting on the edge for a while getting lost in through. The knock on my door pulled me out of my daze.

"Come in." I yelled trying to scramble to my feet.

"I left a box in here the last time I came and.." But he trailed off

I looked at the expression on his face. His eyes roamed over my body seductively and I didn't understand what his problem was until I looked down at myself. I had forgotten for a single minute I had no clothes on and the towel had fallen when I stood.

I wasn't sure how I felt about it. He had seen me naked so many times. I didn't feel embarrassed, but I definitely knew I should pick up the towel, but my body was frozen to the spot. I looked back up and Edward was standing dangerously close to me.

I gulped down hard and he leaned in and kissed me while wrapping his hands around my waist. I wasn't trying to seduce him or even initiate anything. But there it was, _the spark_. It wasn't there the last time we did this, but I assume that was because my anger got the better of me. _But I felt it this time_.

My entire body was engulfed in flames. He stopped kissing me and pushed me back onto the bed while hovering over me. My breathing was erratic, having him so close.

"You are so beautiful." He reached out one hand and brushed my cheek.

I wrapped my arms around his neck trying to get him closer to me.

"I love you Edward, please make love to me." I just about whispered

He made this low growling noise and kissed me with a great power. My entire body surrendered to him. His hands were all over me and I was trying to pull of his tee shirt when Jackson came flooding into my mind.

"Edward where's Jackson?" I asked.

"Fuck." He said in an upset tone.

He jumped off of me and out of the room. I could hear him going down the stairs. I figured our play time would be over until later.

We spent the entire day walking around Forks just laughing and enjoying the nice weather. Surprisingly the day turned out to be around seventy degrees. We reminisced on old times we had in town and about high school. It was better than I could have expected from him.

When we finally arrived back at the house I asked Edward to lay Jackson down for a nap. I figured now we had time we could talk. In a way I was happy nothing happened earlier. I wanted to talk things out first.

I took off my shoes and sat down on the couch waiting for Edward to come back down. I waited and I waited, but it had now been a half and hour and he still didn't come back down. I got off the couch and made my way to Jackson's room to see what was taking him.

When I looked inside there was nobody in the room. I shook it off and walked to my bedroom. The sight of the two of them never got old to me. They were both passed out on my bed. Edward was laying flat on his back while Jackson was sleeping on his chest. I walked over to them and pulled the blanket off the chair by the window. I draped it across them and sat next to Edward.

I had missed what it felt like to sleep next to him, to feel his body close to mine. SO I snuggled up to my boys and put my hand on part of his chest and he automatically wrapped his arms around us both. I rubbed my son's back and eventually drifted off myself...

**Well I hope you like this chapter, let me know your thoughts...**


	32. Chapter 32

**Yes I got a lot of hell for the last chapter be so short, but hey, at least you got it lol. I wrote it before going to work and I figured short or not, you all would love me for it lol. They are going to have the talk in this chapter and a lot of things will come to light. Will our couple work it out or go their separate ways, permanently?**

**CHAPTER 32**

I'll admit it had been a pretty amazing afternoon. Even falling asleep in Edward's arms was pure heaven, but there were things that needed to be said and things that needed to be worked out. Esme was on her way out to Forks to pick up Jackson for a few days.

When I called to let her know Edward showed up, she made sure I understood she didn't send him there. I explained to her I knew she didn't. I told her I thought it was time for me and Edward to talk about everything. That's when she suggested picking up Jackson, so Edward and I could talk things through.

Edward was upstairs bathing our son and it gave me a few minutes to myself. I decided to start on dinner. Since Edward's parents were driving out here, the least I could do was prepare a meal. I had some chicken cutlets and some rice, so I began to fix them up.

About an hour later Edward, Esme and Carlisle, Jackson and me were all sitting down in the dining room enjoying pleasant conversation over dinner. I was grateful Edward didn't start any problems with his mother over her disclosure of my location.

I packed a bag for Esme for Jackson and they said their goodbyes and left with my son. I was exhausted honestly from the days events and just wanted to keep the rest of the night lite. It was only about eight PM.. I was trying to clean up everything from dinner when Edward came in the room.

"hey let me do this. Go relax. How about you go take a swim? I will clean up the mess." He smiled sweetly at me.

"Are you sure, its a lot Edward, I mean I don't want to leave it all for you to do." I looked at him timidly.

"Nonsense Bella, go and enjoy yourself for a little while. Its been a long time since you did something for yourself." He shooed me away

I smiled and walked toward the back of the house. Of course the Cullen's had an indoor pool. It made sense living in Forks because it always rained, so when could anyone really enjoy an outdoor one? There was a small table with drawers where the bathing suits were kept and a small changing station off to one side. It was no bigger then a fitting room at a department store.

I slipped on a black string bikini and dived into the warm water. I made a few laps around when I looked up to see Edward on the diving board. He jumped in with perfect precision and emerged a moment later.

His copper hair swept back from the water, he looked so young. It brought me back to a single moment when we were teenagers.

"Do you remember Alice's 16th birthday party?" I said laughing

"I think so." He smiled back quirking an eyebrow

I swam to one of the sides of the pool and pulled myself to the edge so I could sit. Edward came to where I was and copied my position. He looked over at me with a curious look on his face. All I noticed was how the water fell off his hair in drops down his chest. God he looked so hot.

"Well lets have it." He smirked

"Have what?" I said lost in my sexual thoughts of this hot man

"The story." He chuckled

"Oh right. Yea I remember we were all swimming in the pool. Remember Lauren Mallory?" I began to giggle to myself

"How could I ever forget her. That girl was obsessed with me." He shook his head with a huge grin.

"Believe me, she never let me forget it either. It was me, her and Alice. We all were sleeping over your house. You came home with Emmett and Eric Yokey. You all come to swim with us." I looked up at him, wondering if he remembered

It warmed my heart that he did in fact remember what I was referring to. It almost slipped my mind that he had lost his memory for the last six months. Always a painful topic of discussion. But I wanted to keep it light and maybe this was not as light as I expected.

"She kissed me and then removed her bikini top. Lord if I only knew then what I know now." He laughed.

I had missed hearing his laughter. I missed his happy side. I had barely seen it in so long.

"She bragged about that for ever. I almost killed her just to shut her up. Its like she knew how I felt about you without me ever telling her." I smiled at him.

"You know, I always wanted to ask you this, but didn't really know if I wanted the answer. I always like to think it wasn't true, but then again, who knows." I looked at him

He gave me an amused expression. "Well lets hear it."

"Did you have sex with Lauren?" I hid behind my hands

He laughed for a few minutes before giving me answer.

"I can't believe you really want me to tell you about this." He smirked at me.

"Come on Edward." I looked at him through my fingers

"Actually I took her virginity that very day. I really wished I hadn't." His face turning red

I removed my hands from my face and looked at him with an amused shock

"I can't believe it! You are like the virgin slayer." I shook my head laughing

"The only virginity I ever wanted was yours." He gave me that crooked smile

I blushed remembering it so clearly.

"Even that night at the party, I wished it had been you in my bed, not her. I even pretended it was you." He smiled

"Then why did you do it, if you wanted it to be me?" I looked over at him.

God his eyes were so green. The shade always amazed me. Those emerald eyes. I could drown in them. His lips were so pouty and the water from his hair just kept dripping on them when he spoke. I wanted to lick them right off.

"I was seventeen Bella. I was a teenage boy with ragging hormones and this girl was throwing herself at me. Its hard to resist when you got someone shoving their tits in your face." He laughed

"What about when I said I would sleep with you?" I bit my lip looking at him.

"When you even let me kiss you, I wanted to die. The moment you kissed me I knew for a fact I was in love with you. I always had been and knew I always would be." He looked down at his feet splashing in the water.

"You know that night at Alice's birthday party when I saw Lauren and you kissing, I cried all night. I felt like the biggest loser. I mean I got it, you made a move on her because she was obviously very beautiful." I looked at my hands

"Bella, she never compared to you. I made a move because I knew she wouldn't reject me. But you, I was so scared you would. If I had known how you felt then, hell we would have been together." She smiled at the memory

"I'm glad it turned out this way." I said to him

"Huh?" He looked perplexed at me

"I got the very best part she will never have. I get you forever." I grabbed his hand and squeezed it.

He looked at me with amazement and then slid back into the pool. He moved in front of me and spread my legs apart. I instinctively wrapped may legs around his back pulling him closer.

He grabbed my hips and pulled me into the pool. My legs still tangled around him and held me close to him while I had my arms around his neck.

"I wish I could fix everything that has happened baby, but I can't. All I can do it start fresh." He smiled with an agonized look

I pulled him in for a kiss and he grabbed my hips tighter. We kissed for a long time moving around the pool. I knew where this would lead and I needed to talk to him before we took the next step. I pulled back from him and looked deep in his emerald orbs.

"We need to talk." Was all I had to say

"I know." He sighed and walked us toward the steps.

He gently let me go and I walked up grabbing a towel for us both. I excused myself to take a shower and he said he had calls to make. The hot water felt good and helped me relax. It was time for us to get it all out, no matter the consequences.

I changed into my sweatpants and a tank top. I brushed out my hair and made my way to the living room. Edward was sitting on the couch in a pair of lounge pants and a tee shirt. He looked up when he saw me walk in the room and a perfect smile spread across his face.

"Hey." I said sitting across from him on the long couch.

"Hey." He kept smiling at me.

"I guess I will go first. The whole thing with Irina.." I took a deep breath.

"Bella listen she means nothing." He pleaded

"Let me finish. The whole thing with her, I get it and I understand. I can't be upset. We weren't even together and you didn't even know who she really was. I get it. I forgive you for it, even though you have nothing to be sorry for." I tried not to get teary

"Well that's very mature of you." He smiled brightly grabbing my hand

"But it doesn't change anything. We are still in a very far away place. I'm sorry for pushing you. I don't know how many times you tried to explain to me not to and I did.." I looked at my hands

"I'm sorry I made things so hard for you. I wish it didn't take so long to get my memory back. I should never have taken you back here, then maybe we could have avoided all this." His face twisted into some painful expression.

"Edward, its not your fault. Its nobody's fault. How would you have known a deer would run out in front of us? Its like you asked for this to happen." I touched his cheek with my hand.

"I've destroyed us. That is completely my fault. I should have remembered you, of all people, you should have been the only one." He touched my hand that was still rubbing his cheek.

"I forgive you." I leaned in and kissed his lips.

"What is going to happen with us?" He pulled back to look at me

"I don't know." I shrugged not really knowing how to answer him.

"I quit my job in Seattle." He stated

"But why? You loved working there." I looked at him in confusion.

"I need a clean and fresh start. I got a call a couple weeks ago from a Dr. Collins. He is this amazing guy. He had amnesia also. He had fallen and hit his head on a bath tub. He heard about me from Phil and he wanted to help me. He said I had the ability to be a great surgeon. He wants to show me that I still can be. Its an incredible opportunity for me. The only downfall is, he is in New York City." His eyes held something I hadn't seen in so long, joy.

"You really want to go, don't you?" I asked holding his gaze

"I do. I mean what are the chances? He could help me get back everything I have worked so hard for, but then I thought about leaving you and Jackson. I don't want to lose you guys again, I just can't." His voice was cracking.

I knew how much this meant to him. I knew I had always given him a hard time in the past about making decisions without consulting me first, but we needed this. We needed to start over.

"I want you to go." I looked up at his surprised face.

"Bella I can't do that to you again." Sadness clear on his face.

"I'm not fighting you on this. Edward go to New York, do this for you." I tried to give a reassuring smile.

Truth was, I knew I would be sad, but I also knew he needed to find himself. Through all my selfishness these past few weeks I never thought about him. Yes it wasn't just him that went through this terrible trauma, I did too, but what I forgot to stop and think about was, him. I never thought about his feelings, wants, or needs. I only considered mine and now it was time to consider his.

I loved him so much, but I loved him enough to let him go. I knew now that it was the right decision for us both.

"Come with me Bella." Hope gleaming in his eyes.

"I think you need to do this alone. I will support you, but I just think maybe its time I let you do something for you. Don't worry, I will be here when you are ready." I smiled up at him.

"I don't want any of this if I can't have you. Its not worth it anymore. That's the most important lesson I have learned from all of this. A life without you is meaningless, don't you get that?" He place his hands on both sides of my face.

I could feel the tears beginning to fall from my eyes. I couldn't contain it anymore. This got so heavy so fast.

"I don't want to be apart from you or Jackson anymore. We spent too much time already away from each other. We are a family and we need to stay together. Hell I would work in McDonald's if it meant we could be together." He stood up then.

I watched him walk into the middle of the room where the stereo was. He fiddled with something and then suddenly a beautiful slow melody filled the speakers. Then he began to sing to me.

_Share my life, take me for what I am  
Coz I'll never change all my colors for you  
Take my love, I'll never ask for too much  
Just all that you are and everything that you do_

I don't really need to look very much further  
I don't want to have to go where you don't follow  
I won't hold it back again, this passion inside  
Can't run from myself  
There's nowhere to hide

Well,don't make me close one more door  
I don't wanna hurt anymore  
Stay in my arms if you dare  
Or must I imagine you there  
Don't walk away from me...  
I have nothing, nothing, nothing  
If I don't have you, you, you, you, you, you...

You see through, right to the heart of me  
You break down my walls with the strength of your love mmmmm...  
I never knew love like I've known it with you  
Will a memory survive, one I can hold on to

I don't really need to look very much further  
I don't want to have to go where you don't follow  
I won't hold it back again, this passion inside  
I Can't run from myself  
There's nowhere to hide  
Your love I'll remember, forever

Don't make me close one more door  
I don't wanna hurt anymore  
Stay in my arms if you dare  
Or must I imagine you there  
Don't walk away from me...  
I have nothing, nothing, nothing...

Well,don't make me close one more door  
I don't wanna hurt anymore  
Stay in my arms if you dare  
Or must I imagine you there  
Don't walk away from me no...  
Don't walk away from me  
Don't you dare walk away from me  
I have nothing, nothing, nothing  
If I don't have you,

Once he finished I broke down in sobs. I couldn't help it. He spoke to my heart. Those words said exactly what I had felt. He ran over to me and kissed me passionately on the lips.

"Bella I love you with everything I am, please, marry me?" His eyes sparkling.

I don't know what came over me, but all I could do was laugh. I left so hard and so long that I hurt my stomach. He looked at me for a moment like I was nuts and he started laughing to. Once I finally calmed down I placed my hands on his beautiful face.

"its ironic you know. The first time you asked me the very same thing was in this very room. What are the chances?" I giggled kissing his lips softly.

"Yea I guess you right." He smirked at me.

"But in all seriousness Edward, I can't just up and marry you again. We need to rebuild. I know we can't official start from the top, but I want you to know we can find a better place. We both have been through so much, I just feel like a rebuild is in order. And I love you too." I smiled at this handsome man.

"So you are turning me down?" He tried to play sad

"This time yes, but give me a little bit and next time you might get a maybe." I giggled at him

"Well I like maybe better than no." He gripped my hands in his and pulled me off the couch.

"I truly love you Bella, more than you will ever know." He kissed my forehead and pulled me into him.

He smelled like fresh mountain air mixed with cinnamon. So intoxicating he was to me. I wish we never had a falling out. I had missed this man so dearly.

"When do you have to go to New York?" I muttered into his chest pulling him closer.

"He said no rush on an answer, but I was thinking next week. I just want to get my life back." He rested his chin on the top of my head.

"I want that for you also." I squeezed him tighter.

He pulled away to look at me.

"I have you right now, its all that matters in the moment. I can't take back the last six months, but I will make it a memory you will barely ever think about. Please come to New York with me Bella." His eyes were pleading with me.

"Can I sleep on it?" I asked

"Has long as I can sleep beside you when you do." He smirk reappearing.

"I wouldn't have it any other way." I leaned up and kissed him.

**Okay so my lovelies, what did you think? I apologize for any errors. I hope this answers a lot of questions for you, if not well ask me and I can add it in the next one. I love the reviews and all the support thank you all so much!**


	33. Chapter 33

**Okay we are back! The area I live in lost power and I was trying to do some heavy duty cleaning, fearing I wouldn't have time before it got dark, so I didn't have a lot of time to write and plus my dumb computer was acting up. So here we are now! I thank you for the reviews and for the love you have shown my story. I have two others on here also, hope you check them out! I want to let you know, there is only one more chapter left of this story. I think its time to say goodbye to them. Without further adieu, here is Bella!**

**CHATPER 33**

I just finished putting Jackson down for bed when the phone began to ring. I glanced at the caller I.D. to see it flashing Alice's number.

It had been such a long exhausting day. Jackson was sick with some cold and it was fast approaching nine pm. Edward had texted me earlier to let me know not to make him any dinner, that he would be late.

I sighed and picked up the phone off the counter.

"Hello Alice." I smiled plopping down on the big comfy red chair in the living room.

"Why haven't you called me? I have been worried out my head about you!" She shrieked through the phone.

"Why are you worried we just spoke two days ago?" I laughed

"Isabella Marie Swan- Cullen you live in New York City, its dangerous there! Not to mention I miss you." Her voice sounding sad

"I'm fine Alice, I have your big brother here to protect me. How are you doing?" I asked

"I'm doing well. The kids miss you and Jackson. When are you flying home for Christmas?" She asked

"Edward booked our flight for Wednesday, so I will see you in three days." I said

"Ooh I can't wait! Do you need me to pick you up from the airport?" Alice was now beaming through the phone

"I think your dad is ,but if not I will let you know." I said

Alice chatted more about things she bought for people and how I would be so surprised when I got her gift. After she rambled on for about an hour I heard the keys in the front door. I told Alice I would call her tomorrow and I hung up.

A very disheveled and exhausted looking Edward came in the front door. He was wearing his scrubs and a wool pea coat. I walked over to him. I hadn't seen him since about six this morning and he didn't have a lot of time to talk to me all day. Just a couple texts, but it was never the same as the man himself.

He hung his coat up in the hall closet and then turned to me. I smiled at him and wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him down for a sweet kiss. It lasted a few minutes and then he pulled away smiling down at me.

"Well hello there beautiful." His gorgeous face sparkling

"Hey handsome, how was your day?" I asked

"It was very productive. Herman is an amazing man. I am very fortunate." He pulled me into his chest.

"I missed you." I muttered breathing him in.

"I missed you too baby. I couldn't wait to get home and see you. It never gets old." He kissed the top of my head

I pulled him closer enjoying the feel of his body, but he pulled away much too soon. I gave him a small pout and he laughed at me. He took my hand and lead me to our bedroom. Has we walked in, I let go of his hand and sat on the bed. He smiled at me and walked over to his dresser.

"How was Jackson today?" Edward asked over his shoulder.

I watched him as he took his scrub top off. His back muscles flexing. Then he slid the bottoms off. Now he was standing in only his boxers.

"Bella?" Edward turned to look at me. I was in an Edward induced haze. His body mostly naked in front of me was too much to take in. I shook my head from my stooper as he pulled on a pair of pajama bottoms.

"Oh yea,he is still very fussy. I called Dr. Wend today and she told me to just give him Tylenol." I said with a heavy sigh

"Hm, did that help?" He asked

"He is sleeping, isn't he?" I giggled

"Always with the smart remarks." Edward mused

I threw a pillow at him and hit him in the back. He turned around and dived at me, pushing me backwards. I laughed some more while he restrained my hands above my head with his hands. He hovered over me. I looked up at his smiling face. His green eyes shining at me. He looked down at me like he had so many times before, but this time, it felt different.

"You make me so happy, I hope you know that." He smiled at me.

"You make me happy too Edward." I tried to wiggle my hands free.

He let go of my restrained hands, but not before kissing me lightly. He got off of me and crawled to his side of the bed. I slid in next to him, pulling the comforter over us.

I laid my hand on his chest and he rubbed my back.

"I'm so glad you came to New York with me." He sighed

I turned my head so I could look at his face.

"Edward, even if I said no and stayed in Forks or Seattle, I would have found my way here anyway. No matter what I love you and that always conquers all in my book." I smiled at him placing my head back on his chest.

"I love you too. Its been such a complicated year. I'm so glad its almost over. But I want to enjoy the moment I have here with my beautiful wife and my exceptional son. Which reminds me, I need to check on him." Edward said.

I reluctantly picked my head off his chest and let him go see Jackson. I laid back into my fluffy pillows and looked up at the ceiling. Christmas was on Friday and it was Sunday. We would be heading back to Seattle then. I had the perfect gift for Edward and I couldn't wait to give it to him.

I wanted to be selfish and give it to him now while we were alone, but that just didn't seem fair. After everything we had been through this year, I wanted to be around family more and more. We had completely exiled them and it was time we got back to living normal. There was no Irina's, Jake's, or any accidents in the way.

It was just me and Edward here. Has much as I loved that, I knew it was time to face our families. The last time we were in Seattle was two months ago. Edward and I needed that time away to rebuild. We had honestly. Talking about his amnesia was easier now. It still hurt, but not like the gaping hole it had been.

At some point I had fallen asleep without even realizing it. I woke up to sun gleaming into the window and a humming Edward to the right of me. I turned my head to the nightstand to see the alarm clock and it read 7:35am. I turned my attention back to the man standing to the side of our bed packing a suitcase.

"Edward what are you doing? You are late for work. Plus we don't leave until tomorrow." I said in my sleepy voice.

"Actually Bella, we leave in eight hours for Seattle and I'm off for the next two weeks." He smirked at me while piling more stuff into his suitcase.

"I thought our flight didn't leave until Wednesday?" I looked at him

"The airline emailed me telling me they had an earlier flight, so I took it. I didn't think you would mind." He said

"Wow, that doesn't really give me a lot of time to pack, now does it." I groaned into my pillow.

"You will be fine, now get up and lets get going." He said a little too cheery.

"I still got to pack Jackson's bag." I mumbled into my pillow.

"Already taken care of baby. Now get your sexy ass up and pack." He said in a sexy smooth voice.

The flight was actually pretty smooth considering when we landed in Seattle, it was snowing. I was actually pretty grateful now for the earlier flight. There was a good chance we would have been snowed in and not made it here. Carlisle met us at the airport. We were staying with Edward's parents while we were here.

Carlisle and Edward chatted among themselves for most of the ride0, while me and Jackson hung out in the backseat of Carlisle's truck. It took about twenty minutes for us to make it to the Cullen's house. Once we arrived there Esme greeted us and we made our way to the room we would be staying in.

"Bella would it be okay if I took Jackson over to Alice's house to play with Claire?" Esme asked from the hallway.

"He's been a little sick, so I don't know if Alice would really want him there." I said from inside the closet where I was putting my things away.

"It will be fine Bella. A little cold never hurt anyone." Carlisle hummed in from the hallway

"Well if Dr. Cullen thinks its okay, then I don't see why not." I laughed

"Oh great, I will get him ready then." Esme smiled walking away with her husband in tow

I finished putting my clothes away when Edward walked up behind me. He wrapped his arms around my waist and rested his chin on my shoulder.

"We got the whole house to ourselves." He said

"Well that means we get to nap in peace." I smiled up at him

"Oh I have a better idea. How about you let me put you to bed." He gave me a devious grin.

I slapped his arm and gave him a funny look.

"Edward this is your parent's house. I can't do that here. What if they come home mid stroke?" I turned to look at him

"Well Bella it wouldn't be the first time." He grinned.

My mouth gaped open and I smacked him again. He fell back a few steps and laughed at me.

I remember a time before Jackson was born when we had stayed with Esme and Carlisle. They were supposed to be in Forks for a few days. Edward and I had decided to have sex in their kitchen and while I was sitting on the counter and Edward was thrusting inside of me, I heard his parent's front door open. They hadn't seen anything, but I was mortified for a long time after.

"I love this you know." I smiled looking at his bright happy face.

"What do you love? My sexy charm?" He joked

"That you remember little things that mean so much to us. I never thought I would have that again." I smiled even bigger

But I looked at his face and sadness flashed a crossed it. I stepped closer to him and rubbed his cheek with my hand.

"Why do you do you look so sad?" I asked

"I just wish you never had to live through that. Me not remembering everything. I can't help how old this conversation may sound. I just can't let that go, no matter how much I wish that I could. Hurting you, I wish I never did." His voice slightly cracking.

I wrapped my arms around his waist pulling him close into me.

"Edward, its over. Stop feeling guilty. Its the past, we are different now. Its been great these past three months. I couldn't be happier." I leaned u and kissed him.

"I love you so much." He whispered between kisses

"I love you too."

We made love for the rest of the afternoon. But the time his parents arrived back home with Jackson, we were knocked out cold. Jackson climbed into the bed with us and we all fell asleep together for the rest of the night.

The next few days flew by so quickly. I had helped Esme prepare everything for Christmas and Alice helped me finish up my shopping. Christmas morning finally arrived and I knew it would be a fun one. Jackson was too small to understand Christmas last year, but this year he was bigger and could enjoy the fun of it more.

We helped him unwrap each gift and he was so excited no matter what he got. He was very disappointed when there were no more gifts for him to unwrap. Alice, Jasper, and Claire would be coming over later. I let Jackson know that he would get more gifts then. Emmett and Rose were spending the holidays with her family in Georgia.

Finally when it came to Edward's gift, he asked me to put on my coat and join him on the balcony in back of the house. I found this to be a strange request considering it was about 2 feet of snow and it was about twenty degrees outside.

But Edward was always one for the unusual, so I went along with it. I put on my boots with my coat and he guided me onto the balcony that over looked the beautiful snow covered area. He had a blue wrapped box, about the size of computer monitor in his two hands.

I gave him a acquisitive look and he just gave me his signature grin. He must have been out here earlier because there was no snow on the balcony at all. He placed the box down on a table next to where he was standing and took my hand in his.

"Before you open your gift I just want to say a few things." He looked nervous

I nodded my head giving him a huge smile.

"I have loved you since I could remember and even the time we weren't together, I loved you still. No matter what I have put you through, you stood by me, faithful and loving. Sometimes I felt like I didn't deserve someone so wonderful, but I guess we all are all aloud to have some happiness. You and Jackson are a blessing from god and I cherish every moment I get to have the both of you in my life.

You have my heart always Bella, no matter who may come along, you own me, forever." I could see tears forming in his eyes as well as my own.

He took the box off the table and handed it to me. Strangely enough, the box was extremely light. I gave him a puzzled look.

"Open it." He grinned

I shook my head and began ripping off the neat wrapping. Once I opened the box, there was a smaller one inside. I looked back at him and he just grinned some more. So I opened the smaller box and then another box until I came across the final one. It was a small ring box. It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out what was inside.

I could feel my breathing going crazy and he took the tiny box from my hand. He opened it while sliding down on his knees. I knew what he was going to ask me and I wasn't sure if I wanted to give him my gift first.

I peered down through tear filled eyes at this amazing man kneeling before me. He opened the box to display a very familiar diamond ring. It was my engagement ring that he gave me the first time he proposed. I had it locked away in a jewelry box for a long time. I had no idea he knew where I had it.

"I did this once before and it was supposed to be forever, but I just couldn't get it right, but this time, I want to get it right. Isabella, will you marry me, again?" His green eyes blazing up at me with such love.

I laughed wiping the tears from my eyes and gazed at him in awe.

"Edward Cullen, I will marry you a million times if it means I get you every time." I stuck my hand out for him to place the ring on.

He slid it on with ease and grabbed me and swung me around kissing me passionately. I took a glance at the french glass doors to see Esme holding Jackson and Carlisle with his arms around her waist watching us with huge grins plastered on them.

Edward placed me down and held me by the waist smiling like a corn ball at me.

"I have a gift for you too." I looked up at him and smiled.

"Well lets have it." He chuckled.

"Its in our room. Come on." I pulled away extending my hand for him to take.

We walked past a knowing Esme who put Jackson down and Edward scooped him up. We all walked up the stairs into our room. He placed Jackson on the bed while I went to the closest and retrieved my gift for Edward.

I handed him the long box, which resembled a necklace gift box. He looked me shaking it in his hand.

"Well go on and open it." I laughed at him

He quirked that eyebrow of his and unwrapped the red paper. I wasn't has clever as him with my idea, but I knew it would mean the world to him none the less. Once he got all the paper unwrapped he looked at it in surprise.

He stared at it for a few seconds before looking at me with shocked eyes. I couldn't contain my emotions any longer and he basically dove at me with his mouth. I grabbed his hair tightly in my fists and kissed him so hard I almost passed out.

Finally we broke apart when I heard Jackson giggling. He was jumping on the bed looking at us both. I looked at Edward and he was actually crying. Tears were freely running down his cheeks. We both must have looked like idiots.

"So you are really pregnant? This is the best Christmas gift a man could ask for. How far along are you?" He voice so hoarse from his emotions.

"About six weeks. I found out two weeks ago, but I wanted to wait until we were around our whole family to tell you. I wanted to surprise you." I laughed through my tears.

"I'm surprised alright." He laughed and turned to grab Jackson in mid bounce.

"Did you hear that buddy, you're going to be a big brother! How do you like the sound of that?" Edward beamed at him.

"Ooh me a big brother, like Claire?" He asked

"Well Claire is a big sister, but yes, just like Claire." I said rubbing his little face.

"That's awesome. I gotta tell gramma." He wiggled out of Edward's arms and ran into the hall shouting for Esme.

Edward looked at me and grabbed me in for a huge.

"Merry Christmas babies." He chuckled into my hair rubbing my stomach.

"Merry Christmas husband." I said rubbing my nose into his shirt.

Definitely a merry Christmas I thought as I sighed into Edward's chest...

**Okay like I said on the top, one more chapter and this story is over. I have loved writing it and its been amazing the love you all give me, but I think its just time to let them go lol. I appreciate all the love and support everyone has shown me and I hope you read my other stories as well. Let me know if there is anything you missed or want to know before the final chapter. I don't know when I will write it, this one was a challenge for me to write out its self. I had a bit of writer's block. You get one more chapter and then the epilogue. Let me know what you think... Sorry for any errors...**


	34. Chapter 34

**Well here we finally are. The last chapter is here. I want to thank you all for this adventure, its meant so much to me. I have two other stories, so I hope everyone reads them as well. I love you all and just can't express that enough.**

**Chapter 34**

It was a nice spring evening and Edward was on a guys only vacation with Emmett and Jasper. Emmett said since Edward the last single guy of the group that they needed a big blow out weekend first.

However Jasper corrected Emmett with saying Edward was actually the first one of the group to get married and he was remarry the same girl, so technically, he was never really single.

I just laughed at their guy ish ways and wished them a safe fun trip. We had been staying in Seattle for the last month so Alice could help me with the final preparations for the wedding. This time I wanted a small wedding. Nothing fancy or over the top. Actually we would be getting married in the Cullen's backyard

I wanted to keep it simple. Hell, town hall would have sufficed for me, but Edward at least wanted our family there. I was sitting in Alice's backyard watching the kids play with a ball. Rose and Alice both came out and sat beside me, handing me a virgin margarita.

"Thanks Al, this looks great." I smiled up at her

"Well it would be better if it had something to spice it up, but since you are like the size of a house, I couldn't do that could I?" She laughed

Oh yes I was the size of a damn house. I was 8 months pregnant now feeling like a blimp. Edward insisted he stay home with me instead of joining his friends, but I insisted that he go. It had been too long since he did something exciting like that.

"Look at those kids. Can you believe it feels like only yesterday we were teenagers." Alice sighed

I took in the sight before me. You had EJ who was now almost 5 years old and Rose's other son Nate who was about to turn three. Then you had Claire and Tim, who were Alice's children. Finally you had my precious Jackson who just turned two a month ago.

Thinking of Jackson just turning two, I remembered it had been a year since Edward's accident and our life being messed up. Now we were back on track and I was ready to give birth to our second child. I guess everything in life as its purpose and reason, but I couldn't be happier than I am at this very moment.

"I wish I had known you guys when I was a teenager. I would have loved to see what Emmett was like." Rose laughed

"Oh not that much of a difference, I can assure you." Alice said sipping her drink

Rose smacked her arm and they both laughed.

"Emmett was Bella's first kiss." Alice sat up a little straighter in her lawn chair

I covered my face out of my embarrassment.

"I didn't know that." Rose leaned in more

"We were playing spin the bottle and it landed on me." I knew I was a tomato at that point.

"I always knew you had a thing for my husband." Rose laughed.

"Oh yea you caught me." I said sarcastically throwing my hands up.

"Believe me, they were very awkward to watch. I was embarrassed for her." Alice giggled

"You know I remember when me and Edward stayed in Forks before moving to New York, we were swimming in the pool. We were reminiscing about when I first met him." I shook my head laughing

"Oh that was a fun time! I can't believe we were ever friends with Lauren." Alice chimed in

"Correction Alice, she was_ your _friend." I pointed at her

"Well whatever, she was so in love with my brother, it was annoying. I think that was the only reason she ever wanted to come to my house."

"Who is Lauren?" Rose asked leaning to look at me

"Some girl in high school who had a serious obsession with my husband."

"Ooh I love stories, tell tell." Rose got excited...

**(Flashback)**

It was my first summer in forks that I wouldn't be returning to Arizona. I decided I wanted to stay with my dad for my high school years. Plus it didn't hurt that Alice was here. Me and Alice had been friends since we were 4 years old. Even when I moved when I was 8 to Arizona we stayed best friends.

. It was Alice's 16th birthday party. I hadn't seen Edward for the last 5 years since every summer he spent with his grandparents in California. This would be the first summer he was staying in Forks. I guess as you get older hanging with grandma and grandpa not as cool.

There were a ton of teenagers everywhere. Lucky for the Cullen's there house was huge. However the basic party its self took place where the pool was. I was sitting with Lauren Mallory by the pool. She was the only one beside Alice that I really knew in this town.

Lauren was pretty. She was blond and had huge boobs for a 15 year old girl. About six guys had already tried to talk to her. I mean clearly her chest was on full display for the whole world. She had on the tiniest pink bikini.

I had on a black bikini top with gray exercise shorts. I was splashing my feet back and forth in the water while Lauren idle chatted to me about gods knows what. I tried to block her out. Alice had ran inside to get more towels. I was too occupied with watching my feet paddle back and forth to notice Lauren saying my name.

"Huh." I said looking up at her.

"God have you been paying any attention, like at all?" She said in her annoying force.

"I'm sorry, what did you say?" I shook myself out of my coma

"I said isn't Edward so hot." She rolled her eyes

"You mean Edward Cullen?" I asked unsure

"Duh, he is like the only Edward in Forks.."

I hadn't seen Edward in so long that I was pretty sure if I saw him now, I wouldn't recognize him. But like it was on cue, _What a man by salt and pepper_ began to play when the patio door opened and out walked the most sexiest boy I ever saw. He walked in like he was the man with his friends trailing behind him.

All the girls stared at him and I swear I saw Lauren just about swoon. Girls were giggling and pointing at him and he just pretended not to notice.

"Oh my god oh my god oh my god! Look at him, I could just die!" Lauren squealed

I wish you would die please! I thought to myself

I tried to play it off like I wasn't impressed at all, but lord knows, I wanted to act like just like the rest of them. He was gorgeous, It just didn't seem right for one person to look so good. If he was ice cream I definitely wanted a scoop. Hell I wanted the whole tub!

He made his way around the room greeting people and even hugged a few. I couldn't keep my eyes off him. Lauren turned to me then. He was adjusting her boobs and her hair. Oh lord!

"How do I look?" She asked bouncing her top

"Um, you look okay, I guess." I shrugged at her

"I need to be better than okay Excuse me, I need to make my presence known.." She stood up and sauntered off to I assume Edward

At that moment Alice came back. Thank god!

"Sorry I took so long, my mom wanted me to help her with something. Are you having fun Bells?" She smiled sitting down next to me

"I'm trying to. But it seems your brother as stole your spotlight." I giggled at her

"Oh he can have it. My best friend is here! This is the best gift ever. Half this people are only here because I'm Edward's sister. I bet they don't even know my name."

"Well I know your name, its Allison right?" I joked pointing to me chin in deep thought

"That's not funny." Alice pushed me playfully

I looked back to where the god had been standing and he was gone. I tried to play it off when I looked around to find him, but Alice knew me too well.

"What are you looking for?" She eyed me curiously

I immediately stopped hunting for him and knew my face gave me away.

"Um nothing."

"Isabella Swan, don't lie to me!" Alice gave me a pointed look

But before I could answer her the person I had been seeking out appeared at her side. He stood over us and then slid down next to his sister, smiling at me, or at least I hoped it was at me.

"Great party sis, I'm very impressed." He smiled at Alice

"Well thank you" Alice smiled proudly at him.

I tried to advert my eyes, but I caught his. They were so green and beautiful. God he had nice skin, so clear for a seventeen old boy. He gave me the most perfect grin and I gave him a shy one back. If love at first sight was real, well I think I just found it.

We just completely got lost in each other that I hadn't even noticed Alice clearly her throat.

"For the love of god! Hello? Earth to both of you." Alice put her hand between us.

Instantly we were brought back to life and Alice began to giggle.

"Edward, you remember Bella right?" She gave me a knowing smile

"Wow Bella, you have changed a lot since we last saw each other." He looked at me mesmerized

"You too." I said a little too eager

"Well it would be so since you haven't seen each other in five years, geez." Alice said rolling her eyes

"Phoenix has been good to you." He said with a sweet smile

"I live here now." Hypnotized by his eyes

"Well Forks just got a whole lot more interesting." His eyes flashed with something

I blushed at his comment. Suddenly he had become the most interesting person in the world to me. We just sat there between Alice smiling at each other. But much too soon someone pushed Edward into the pool. I looked to see who his attacker was and it was the huge football player looking guy.

"You want next Ali?" He grinned deviously at her

"No Emmett, you better not dare!" Squealed Alice

She ran away from him and then he eyed me.

"Awe new blood! You're next!" He gave me an evil look and went to lounge for me, but Edward grabbed his leg before he could.

"You better not mess with my Bella dude or you're gonna get it!" Edward said with a huge smiling dragging Emmett into the pool.

I watched them dunk each other for a few minutes then Edward swam back over to me. He gave me the sexiest smile and before I knew what was happening he pulled me into the pool. I squealed like Alice and he just laughed why he dunked me under the water.

When I popped back up I looked at him with amused disbelief. He gave me an innocent shrug and I gave him an unconvinced look. I swam away from him to where Emmett was. I watched Edward staring at us while I whispered into Emmett's ear. That was the day Emmett became my best ally

"Emmett, can you get Edward back for me? He just dunked me under and I know I would fail miserable at getting him. What you say?" I bit my lip in anticipation.

"Hell yes Bells!" He exclaimed in excitement.

I swam back to Edward and he was just staring at me.

"What are you up to?" He gave me a questionable look

"Oh nothing." I gave my best innocent look

"Right." He nodded

Suddenly Edward disappeared under the water. At first I thought he was going to drag me back under, but I looked down to see Emmett pulling him by his feet. That started an all out water war. I dragged myself out of the pool to join Alice.

By the end of the day everyone but Edward, Emmett, Eric Yokey, Lauren, me and Alice were left. Eric was a nice kid. Alice had the biggest crush on him at the time. He was Korean with greenish brown eyes. His hair was black and styled to his shoulders. I always wondered if he might be gay. He was better groomed than Alice and that's saying a lot.

Esme and Carlisle had gone to Seattle after dinner to see a play and wouldn't be home til around one in the morning. Lauren comes up with the brilliant idea to play spin the bottle. Okay yes this would be great if it was only me and Edward, but I had to compete with Lauren.

Alice was all for it, especially if she got to kiss Eric . Lauren got a coke bottle and forced us all to sit in the middle of the living room in a circle. Of course Lauren got to go first. She spun the bottle and of course my biggest fear, it landed right on Edward.

He looked at it in shock, like he couldn't believe it actually landed on him. At the time, I thought he was happy it had. He gulped down and began to lean forward. I looked at Lauren who had the biggest fucking smile on her face. I just wanted to reach over and yank out her blond hair.

I could tell Edward was just going in for a quick peck, but Lauren grabbed his neck and shoved her tongue down his thought. I just stared at the sight. I never wanted to bash someone's head in so much. He eventually pulled away and she say back with a shit eating grin on her face.

"Your turn Bella." She said a little too smug for my liking.

I swallowed down the vomit from watching her kiss Edward and spun the bottle softly. It landed on Emmett. In a way I was relieved it didn't land on Eric because Alice would have killed me. I also was relieved it didn't land on Edward because Lauren just had her tongue in his mouth.

I didn't move from my spot. I was just frozen sitting there. Emmett laughed and leaned over to me and smiled sweetly.

"Ready kid." He said softly

I nodded my head. I had never kissed a boy before. This would be my first kiss. He leaned in and all I could think was, he is like a brother type. We had so much fun budding around today that kissing him just would be, _wrong._

We both hesitated as we got closer. Then I felt a hand on the back of my head and our lips touched quickly and I pulled away. I turned to look at Lauren who had pushed our faces together.

"You were taking like six years, I couldn't stand it." She rolled her eyes

"Who's next?" She cheered from her spot.

"I don't want to play anymore." I said getting up from the floor

"Oh come on Bella, its just a game." She mocked from her spot.

I walked out of the room back by the pool. I could hear Edward talking to her from behind me.

"You don't need to be such a bitch all the time Lauren." His tone harsh

I had on a tee shirt and some shorts and sat along the pools ledge. I swayed my legs back and forth in the water. I wonder if Edward liked the kiss Lauren gave him. Would they be a couple now? I heard the door open from behind me and figured it was probably Alice.

"Ali, I'm fine, go back and have fun, its still your birthday." I said without even looking at her.

"I never been confused with Alice, maybe I need to work on my look." Edward chuckled nervously

My head shot up and I was rewarded with his adorable face.

"There's nothing wrong with how you look." I looked up in awe

He just laughed and sat down next to me.

"Shouldn't you be inside playing spin the bottle?" I smiled shyly

"Game over. Eric and Emmett actually went home."

" Oh I hope I didn't make things weird in there." I started stammering

"Naw not at all. Emmett said kissing you was like kissing his sister, if he had one." His smile was so cute

"I felt the same way." I laughed

"I never got my turn." His face reddening slightly

I didn't really understand what he meant at first. He brushed a piece of hair from my face, pushing it behind my ear. He rubbed my cheek with his hand and leaned in like he was about to kiss me. I closed my eyes waiting for it to happen, but of course Lauren's squeaky voice ruined the moment.

"Edward, I have been looking all over for you!" She just about bounced over to us.

He gave me an apologetic look and stood up from the pool side. I got up as well and excused myself. I made my way into the kitchen to get something to drink. Alice walked in and hopped up on one of the counters.

"Are you okay?" She tilted her head with a smile

"I'm fine." I said sipping my glass of water

"Lauren is a bitch. I think we need to ban her." Alice laughed

"I agree. Can you believe I kissed Emmett!" I gave her a dramatic look

"No I seriously can't. At least you can say your first kiss was a really hot guy, even if it was Emmett McCarty."

Alice hopped off the counter and I put my glass in the sink. She proceeded to wrap me in a friendly hug.

"I'm glad you are here with me now. Its great that we both live in the same place. Let's go to bed." She wrapped her arm around my shoulder and we made our way upstairs.

It was around midnight and I couldn't fall asleep. I decided to maybe try to swim, that always seemed to work. So I grabbed my suit off the chair in Alice's room and made my way downstairs. Before I even got to slide the door to the pool open, I saw flashes of a blond head bobbing In the water. I looked a little closer and saw it was Lauren.

Then I saw Edward as well. He was laughing and splashing her. I don't know what made me watch their display, but I couldn't move my eyes. She moved closer to him and it was like a movie scene. They grew closer and she was looking deep in his eyes. She moved her hands behind her head and untied her bikini top.

All I could see was him kiss her and I couldn't watch anymore. I ran so fast back up stairs and silently cried into my pillow.

"Bella that's awful." Rose rubbed my arm.

I hadn't even realized I was really crying. I wiped the tears from my eyes laughing at myself.

"God that was like a million years ago."

"He was never good enough for her. I always told him that." Alice patted my leg

"You what?" I looked at her in surprise

"He was always interested in you, I just refused to let him get that close to my best friend. Who knew you would end up liked this." She pointed at my belly

I had to laugh at her. I didn't regret any moment spent with Edward, I loved him and he was worth it to me. It was me who didn't deserve him.

**Edward's POV**

We were in Las Vegas for the weekend. Typical I thought when Emmett mentioned it, but figured it would be a good time. I hadn't had a lot of time to hang with my friends since I moved to New York. I had really missed them a lot.

But was I complaining? Far from it. Bella gave me a second chance and I couldn't be happier. She was the one person in the whole world who just got me. She owned my heart and soul. I'd die before I would lose her. She was everything.

I remember the day before I left to go to New York. She hadn't given me answer and it had been over a week since I told her. I was busy packing my stuff when my phone began to ring.

"Hello?" I answered before even looking at the ID

"Hey." Her sweet voice came through from the other line.

"Bella, how are you?"

"I'm good. Actually I wanted to see if we could meet for lunch?"

"Sure where do you want to go?"

But before she answered I heard the door open and she stood there with a smile. I dropped the phone on the bed and walked over to her. She put her hand out to stop me. I froze in my place.

"I need to say something. Please just let me get it out." Her eyes pleading softly

I nodded my head and she took a deep breath.

"I can't ignore the last six months. They happened. I want to so badly pick up exactly where we left off before you lost your memory, but we can't. You see through your own eyes and see the pain you caused to someone you swore you wouldn't. I just want a chance to know you again. To remember why I loved you to begin with. So yes Edward, I will go to New York with you, if you still want me to." She looked down unsure of herself.

I felt my spirits lift and I couldn't help it, but I walked up to her and picked her up in my arms. I kissed her passionately and felt tears roll down my face.

"You have no idea what this means to me." I cried into her neck.

"I do." She was crying too

"Dude seriously? Can we please go down to the casino. Whatever you are thinking about, stop it. You look creepy." Emmett shuddered

I laughed to myself hitting Emmett on the back. We made our way down to the lobby where Jasper was waiting for us. We headed into the casino to the poker table. Emmett and Jasper spent majority of the evening winning, while I just sat back and watched.

I decided to head off to the bathroom and that's when I saw her. I swore my eyes were deceiving me. There was no way it could be. I studied her carefully as she sat on the cream colored couch by the door. Her hair was long and brown, but her eyes were almost a bluish green.

However her face was completely the same. Maybe I just missed Bella so much that I was becoming disillusioned, but she had my Bella's face. Maybe different eyes, but definitely identical face. She noticed me gawking at her and she giggled.

I felt the embarrassment rake over my body. She caught me staring. Suddenly the girl stood up and approached me. Her smile was so much like my girl's except her stomach was completely flat. Last time I checked Bella was 8 months pregnant and it looked she had a beach ball under her shirt.

"Excuse me?" Even the voice matched!

"Um, yes?" I said more like a question

"Do we know each other or do you just like staring at people you don't know?" Her smile so much like my girl's

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to stare, its just, you look exactly like my wife." I stuttered out

She began to laugh even more.

"it's funny because I was going to tell you that you remind me of someone too." Her face flushed

Awe such a Bella thing to do!

"If I was your wife, I would never have left you alone." She winked at me

"She's not here." I all but blurted out

Her laughter once again filled the air.

"I'm Kristen." She stuck her hand out for me to shake.

"Edward." I nodded holding her hand in mine.

Out of no where Jasper came walking up to us.

"There you are, I was wondering what was taking you so long. Emmett won't stop whining about.. Holy shit! I didn't know Bella had a twin!" Jasper just about shouted in surprise

Kristen started to laugh.

"Yea, my name is Kristen, not related to this Bella girl, but she sounds pretty cool." She joked

"Wow the resemblance is uncanny." Jasper cocked his head to the side examining her.

"Well if you two will excuse me. Congrats Edward on your wedding." She nodded with a smile and walked away.

"Why does she look just like your wife?" Jasper gaped at me

"I have no idea, but can you believe it?"

"No and neither will she. Come on man lets go back to the table." Jasper patted my shoulder and we strolled back into the casino.

It was six pm Wednesday evening. I was standing in my parent's back yard waiting for Bella to come walking out. It was our wedding day. I watched as our friends marched down the aisle toward me. This scene had played out infront of me before.

I remember our first wedding that almost didn't happen. The relief that had washed over me when I saw her come down the aisle holding Charlie's arm was more overwhelming than anyone could possible know. She's everything to me.

The wedding march began to play and I was struck with pure admiration. There she stood once again holding her father's arm. She may have been eight months pregnant, but she looked more beautiful than I had ever seen her.

Her face was glowing and the smile she wore was priceless. God I love this woman with my entire heart. I never thought I could love another human being as much as her until Jackson came along. That only made me love her more. Now seeing her simple white dress with her bulging belly, to say I couldn't have loved her more, well that was an understatement.

Every fight, every moment kissing and making love, it didn't compare to this moment. She approached me with tears in her eyes. I'm sure mine were the same way. We exchanged our vows and the judge told me I could kiss my bride. I kissed her with such passion. She looked back at me with surprise in her face, but complete joy.

The reception was simple and when danced and had a great time with everyone we loved. The party started to die down around 11:30pm. I noticed Bella sitting in a chair with her legs propped up on another holding a sleeping Jackson in her arms.

She looked up at me and smiled. I realized after everything we've been through, she's the one...

**The End!**

**Thank you all so much for this wonderful experience writing my first story. I loved this story with all my heart, but I started to write another that I just loved a little more. I may come back to this one some day and fix it up. I have learned a lot about writing and had so much encouragement from all my lovely reviewers. Let me know what you thought and thank you!**


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